Do you look people in the eyes when you talk to them?

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I've often found the idea of looking into someone's eyes to be an almost intimate experience. What's more, When I look at someone in the eye, they usually react in their own little way. Some people get creeped out. Some people act intimidated. Some people seem to get more confrontational. Some people seem appreciative. Some people even seem to get emotionally connected. I, for one, sometimes have trouble looking people in the eye when I talk to them, but occasionally find it to result in a very rewarding feeling. I imagine that overall it leaves a stronger impression on people and results in more engaged conversation, so from a business perspective it's a skill I'm trying to develop..

I'm curious, do you tend to look people in the eye? How does it make you feel when you do it? How does it make you feel when people look you in the eye?

Also, excuse any typos, I've been drinking.

Not at all, feels unnatural, though I understand that it technically is. I explain it in job interviews and people tend to be fairly understanding.

Making eye contact makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, even with people I'm close to. When I'm compelled to look at someone in the eyes for whatever reason, my eyes tend to glass over so I'm not really looking.

I like to make occasional contact but extended eye contact can be very...awkward and exclusionary. Probably look like a drug addict or something, eyes jittering everywhere >_> ._. <_<

Whenever I start a conversation, I look them in the eye and finish what I started saying

Because I'm HARDCORE-LEET for that

People don't? I always have, thought it was good manners to do so.

Also even a slight angle when talking to somebody decreases their ability to hear you clearly by more than you think.

Hmm, thinking about it now this might become a problem where I am (Japan).

Occasionally. Getting locked into eyecontact is way too awkward, but never making eye contact is just as bad.

Slightly related:
Someone once told me that if you're ever walking around in Russia, never look ever at someone and catch eyes. It's considered extremely rude.
Thought that was interesting - assuming it's true.

I remember an experiment I did in one of my freshman classes, where we were forced to talk to three different people for two minutes about anything, but we had to sustain eye contact. Even talking about football was really strange. Thats a situation where both parties are forced into it, so everybody could just laugh it off, but I've took that idea and tried it elsewhere. Found it can be very intimidating, so I only use it if I want to intimidate them. It actually works on animals, too, assuming you're not bluffing.

I tend to make some eye-contact when conversing. Keeping eye contact is weird though, it too personal, so really only use either to threaten or "seduce".

I mainly look at people's hands with some eye contact thrown in.

Depending on the conversation, of course. And I can maintain eye contact long enough to make others uncomfortable most of the time, so I sometimes do it when I want to make someone shut up as well.

Though my tendency to roll my eyes when annoyed/exasperated kind of gets in the way of that, sometimes.

On the other hand, eyes are the part of a woman's body that really does it for me, so if I see a particularly nice pair, I'm going to keep contact for a bit...not in that leery, oogly way though. Though, it'd be a riot if one said "Hey, my tits are down there".

i practiced polite eye gazing by having staring competitions with my cat

Short answer, no.

I sometimes look my dog in the eyes, when she's being scolded and such, but otherwise no. I generally look to the side of the person, at my feet or any other random direction that isn't them.

not really I tend to make it acasionally but glance around

I usually do. Not for too long, but I will look you in the eye if I want you to believe me.

Whether I'm lying or not.

Yes, for the most part. I prefer to see the reactions to what I'm saying or their 'emotions' while they are talking to me. And eyes + face are the best ways to see that.

I generally maintain eye contact for a couple of seconds, and then dart my eyes away as I'm thinking of what to say. Even when I'm not talking to someone, just listening to a teacher ramble on, if I see that are eyes connect, I tend to sever the connection by looking elsewhere (e.g. the board).

I mainly don't maintain eye contact just because it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable and also because it tends to distract me. I make occasional eye-contact just to signify I am talking to the person (or listening to them), but I break it off otherwise I'll end up forgetting what I was trying to say.

Even with my significant other I have trouble maintaining eye contact all the time. I tend to lower my eyes to her lips or side of her face if we make eye contact for too long. I try not to drop my eye level below her lips because well then I'd be dealing with a distraction far greater than if I just kept staring into her eyes. =P

No. I can't focus on two eyes at once. So I pick one eye and look at that.

I was taught to always look someone in the eye when speaking with them. It is a sign of respect and confidence (or so I've been taught). I've heard other cultures than mine consider eye contact rude or not important though.

Even though I was taught to always look someone in the eyes when speaking I usually have a hard time doing so because my eyes are always trying to focus solely on things that move, like the person's mouth. Very hard to keep my eyes on stationary object when something is moving nearby. Also have a lot of trouble if there are other people/cars/whatever in the same area because I tend on constantly watching those around me cuz of slight paranoia.

Personally I only really interact with other people at work while I do try and establish at least a moment or twos eye contact out of politeness I am mainly watching there shopping as I scan and pack it

Depends on the context. Normal conversation, semi eye contact. Breaking it regularly and re-establishing it just as regularly. If I'm being extensively sarcastic I tend to hold the eye contact. It makes people uncomfortable. Which is kind of the point.

Why in the world would I look someone in the eye? From my experience, it frightens women and angers men and other animals, so I deem it best to look down.

I do for short periods at a time, out of respect. I might look them in the eye for a few seconds, then look around or down, then look in the eye for another few seconds and repeat. I don't stare into deep into their soul or any shit like that, but I think it's a part of respect to at least look them in the eyes now and again in a conversation.

I think I do. But I also look away or look a bit off the eye too to take the intensity away. Staring dead straight for the whole time is creepy.

Yes always. I stare right through their eyes to whatever is behind them. Total focus, which yes, makes people sometimes very uncomfortable, but they always know I am paying attention to the conversation and nothing else.

Usually, when I'm talking, I will look at their face...but not usually their eyes. A little above the nose, I think, is where I'm usually looking. For the time they're talking, I'm usually doing a combination of glancing to the side and back at them.

(edit) If I could possibly use the word "usually" more in this post...

BartyMae:
Usually, when I'm talking, I will usually look at their face...but not usually their eyes. Usually a little above the nose, I think, is where I'm usually looking. Usually for the time they're talking, I'm usually doing a combination of glancing to the side and usually back at them. Usually.

(edit) If I could possibly use the word "usually" more in this post...

I did my best. :P

OT: I prefer talking to women - then I actually have an excuse for avoiding eye contact.

Now seriously - I don't maintain constant eye contact because that's weird, but I do try to keep it. But now that I think of it, there aren't that many face to face conversations that actually go face to face through the entire time - I'd be walking and talking to somebody on the street or doing other stuff, too. It would be a bit unusually to stop and stare at their face, let alone eyes.

Amethyst Wind:
People don't? I always have, thought it was good manners to do so.

Also even a slight angle when talking to somebody decreases their ability to hear you clearly by more than you think.

Hmm, thinking about it now this might become a problem where I am (Japan).

It is good manners to do so, but direct eye contact isn't a thing in other countries. Always gotta be sure of the societal norm wherever you're at. For instance, in Mexico, I hear it's generally accepted that you look at someone directly when scolding them, so it's seen as impolite to have direct eye contact in a normal conversation.

Unless they have cleavage that is more interesting, the eyes it is.

derelict:

Amethyst Wind:
People don't? I always have, thought it was good manners to do so.

Also even a slight angle when talking to somebody decreases their ability to hear you clearly by more than you think.

Hmm, thinking about it now this might become a problem where I am (Japan).

It is good manners to do so, but direct eye contact isn't a thing in other countries. Always gotta be sure of the societal norm wherever you're at. For instance, in Mexico, I hear it's generally accepted that you look at someone directly when scolding them, so it's seen as impolite to have direct eye contact in a normal conversation.

Direct eye contact is rude over here I find, (mostly because it's creepy) but it's also polite to look at people you're talking with, so I tend to stare at the area between the eyes.

Only in formal occasions.

Other wise, I pretend to look at their eyes but in reality I'd look at the wall behind them. It works if we talk to them from a distance.
Other than that I just fiddle around pretending to be busy looking elsewhere.

I try to look people in the eyes when I talk to them, but I've caugth myself many a times, where I simply look past them instead...

Yes, I look people in the eyes when speaking to them, because to not do so is rude. I often find people who do not look me in the eyes when speaking to me are "shifty", and do not usually allow them to get close to me. They either are nervous, which I try to then make them feel more comfortable, or they are could be untrustworthy, which I then distance myself from them. I certainly do not reconsider a guy if he is staring at my breasts when speaking to me, or if he is not man enough to look me in the eyes when talking to me. What would be the point?

Yes especially if someone is explaining something to me, or we're having a formal conversation (sitting opposite from them, face to face). I've never encountered anyone who was offended by it, some people have found it awkward, but overall they mostly appreciate it. It lets them know they have my full attention. Older people particularly like it.

During casual conversation, my eyes are usually on whatever activity we're sharing, so mostly a movie or a TV screen.

I think it's probably also a cultural thing, I'm in the southern U.S, but it might not be such a good idea in some other parts of the world.

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