I think I'm about to be dumped.

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Squilookle:
First of all, thankyou to everyone for your support, sharing of your own stories, and advice.

No problem. ^^

I must say - having read more of the thread since my original post, the age issue and the graduation issue strike me as a larger issue. She started dating you at 18. As she pointed out, she has missed being single.

Personally, I hate being single. I like to know where my next orgasm is coming from, and there's no better way than having someone in-house who can provide me with one. However, I did enjoy having sex with different people, which is sounds like something she might be missing. So I can see that this issue is the main problem now.

Squilookle:
What do you think is the best way? And has anyone else had to weigh up multiple exit strategies for their relationships?

Advice eh? Okay, since you asked:

Open Relationship.

She's going to be in Europe in May. Why not discuss the option that, while she's in Europe, you both act as if you are single. When she gets back, you can continue your relationship. She'll have time to be single and get it out of her system (since, as noted, being single isn't all that great).

I'd suggest trying earlier, but I get the impression that neither of you are really equipped for the complexities of an actual open relationship.

Personally, my spouse and I quite enjoy our open/swinging relationship because it has all the fun of being single but the love and commitment of a marriage. But it's not for everyone. Still, it might let her (and you) get a taste of what things would be like if you did break up so you can both decide if that's something you actually want.

Missed out on the single life? Wants to experiment?

Yeah, sounds like a real keeper there.

If you are just waiting for her to get over it and change...she's going to change, not be the same person, so you are functionally looking for a different person.

People don't just change 1 thing...if something changes multiple things do.

Forget about her, she's a wannabe slut, a window shopper by her own admission.

Thought I should do some direct replies to those that offered advice that helped me. I didn't get everyone, but I tried to get a good selection. First of all though, there's something I need to clarify right here and now:

Hagi:

Maybe it's just me but I can't see her experimenting whilst you're sitting at home pining after her hoping for a rekindling later on to end well in any way, shape or form.

FFP2:

Squilookle:
the most heartfelt snip of them all

I'd say break up for the duration of her trip and both of you experiment. Afterwards, if she wants to get back together and you feel the same- go for it. If not, then I'm sure you can find somebody even better than her:)

MoltenSilver:

I also agree with the above posts that waiting for her if she does leave is folly. If at some point in the future your single, and she's single, and something major has changed, then maybe consider trying it again if the situation seems good.

If and when we do break up, I will most definitely not remain chaste while we are apart. I have far too much to offer, and you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be hitting the Melbourne nightlife doing some experimenting of my own. Perhaps it's because I need to find a bit of self-worth by picking up, perhaps I want to catch up on lost time same as she does, and perhaps I just want some more carefree time with the opposite sex. Basically speaking, I won't be pining for her from home at all. I will be experimenting too, and if I just happen to find someone else I want a serious relationship with, then I will accept that a stage of my life has given way to a new chapter. And, if instead we find ourselves contemplating getting back together while we're both single, I shall be open to that as well.

Anyway- on to some specifics.

Squilookle:
Thankyou. I wonder- do you think you would have stayed friends if he hadn't suggested it? Or was that what prompted it to be possible?

Well, I suppose I should tell the whole story.

When we started going out, we didn't really know much about each other's values as far as faith and religion, and nor did we really care for a good while. But as things got more serious, I started thinking more about my faith. I'm a Christian, and that is very important to me when it comes to a relationship. I want to be able to go to church with someone every Sunday and know that they are getting something out of it, too. As it happened, he was having a bit of a faith crisis himself. To make a long story short, after several weeks of thought, he decided that he didn't believe in any sort of God.

But before that several weeks started, we had a conversation about it. He knew how important faith was to me, so he told me that if he decided to choose atheism and I wasn't comfortable with it, we would break up and there would be absolutely no hard feelings. So we agreed to that, what happened happened, and we're still friends.

So it was a pretty amicable separation. I still feel a bit of that pain sometimes, and as well as I know him I think that he probably feels it as well. But regardless of what pain might be there we still get along. I certainly don't have trouble being around him, and if he has trouble being around me he hasn't shown it or tried to do anything about it.

And I think it was all made possible by just communicating well. We talked it out before it became too big of an issue to approach. We didn't try to lie or cover it up, we both respected each other and valued the truth of our relationship too much to let that happen. And to answer your other question, yes I wanted to still be friends with him too if we broke up. He just happened to have said it first.

I don't believe a word of this! :D

Anyway, as Tom Smith sings,

"All sparks will burn out in the end."

The OP reminded me of a song I like. So at least there's that, it's quite apropos for your "situation" - assuming that everything the OP (and subsequent posts aren't bullshit, which I think they are) - Slipping Husband by The National

Captcha: halp meh

LOL Indeed.

Aww that was really sweet of the OP to address us individually:)

Squilookle:

If and when we do break up, I will most definitely not remain chaste while we are apart. I have far too much to offer, and you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be hitting the Melbourne nightlife doing some experimenting of my own. Perhaps it's because I need to find a bit of self-worth by picking up, perhaps I want to catch up on lost time same as she does, and perhaps I just want some more carefree time with the opposite sex. Basically speaking, I won't be pining for her from home at all. I will be experimenting too, and if I just happen to find someone else I want a serious relationship with, then I will accept that a stage of my life has given way to a new chapter. And, if instead we find ourselves contemplating getting back together while we're both single, I shall be open to that as well.

That seems like the best way to go. Hope everything works out great for you:)

Squilookle:
Avast ye wall o'text!

Aye, bourbon takes the edge off so long as you don't form a habit from it. Good luck mate!

Okay, add one more piece of advice to the pile... Quick background info - I'm a forever single guy (though not that cut up about it), so I may not be the best person to be giving this sort of advice. But I can promise that it's well thought out advice - I just don't have any experience to back it up.

Squilookle:

Naturally, there is also the possibility that she will find someone that makes her happier, and while that would make me feel pretty pathetic and worthless as a human male, at least I would know that she was happy, and I would rather her be happy with someone else than be with me if it wasn't making her happy. I feel that to let her go is the right thing to do, and something I can do without regretting my actions. I still hate it with every fiber of my being, but I can see no better solution.

So you're a decent human being. You're willing to accept her being happy as the priority. Good. It may hurt, but you've accepted that. Well done. Seriously.

My Question for YOU

Here's the problem though- I've just spent two days blindly talking and reasoning her into giving us another chance at the relationship, before realising that it can't sustain itself. It has to end or there will be no future for it. But I don't know how to do it.

I... don't agree. She's experiencing something of a 'grass-is-greener' point of view, as far as I can tell. This doesn't necessarily spell doom for the relationship - but she does need to find out what it's like on the far side of that fence. That said, she doesn't need to dump you to find out. I'd encourage her to speak with her friends.
The reasoning here is two-fold. First: She needs a second opinion. She needs the point of view of someone completely outside of the relationship. A trusted friend could provide that, either encouraging her to stick with the relationship, or otherwise.
Second: she needs to hear about both sides of being single. The pros and the cons. From what I've read, it sounds as if she's heard all the fun stuff, but is lacking any knowledge of the frequent break-ups, the discovery of guys who are complete jerks when you thought they were fine, the loneliness, that sort of thing. Honestly, being single is not bad, but she needs a complete picture of what she's going in for.

I could go to her straight away, and explain what I wrote about in the aftermath- tell her we'd be better off if we broke up, and end it quickly. This would bring closure sooner, but I fear she would not appreciate being so thoroughly talked into expanding the relationship only for me, once her decision had been put to rest, to bring out one of my own that ends it definitively- effectively robbing her of the decision.

I agree with your last point here: It's her decision. Yes, it's a decision that involves both of you, but you've made it fairly clear that you want to keep the relationship. The question is whether or not she does. So no, I wouldn't break it off.

I could let her do it her way, by going on until May the way we are now, and when she tells me she still wants to break up, I agree, state my thoughts on needing to let her experiment, and hopefully we end it there. Benefits include that she, as the one with the doubt and the desire to break up, still gets to do it. The big downside is that while we're getting along great now, if things start to slide, they're probably going to deteriorate a lot, and we won't end on peaceful terms, which for me is the absolute highest priority. I want to end the relationship with her thinking of me in the best possible light, to leave open a rekindling in the future.

This is the choice I would make. It's her decision, let her do it her way. In the meantime: Be the best man that you can be (I realise that's a lot to ask). If it's the end of the relationship, you want to end it in the best way possible. Otherwise, being the best that you can be could convince her not to give it up. Just be aware that, come May, the relationship might be over. And in the meantime, enjoy it as much as possible while it lasts.

Finally, I could opt for something in between, by waiting a little while then doing it myself. This seems to have all the dangers of the other options, but I won't lie to you- every further second I spend with her is like a wonderful snatched moment of borrowed time I've stolen from the inevitable. Maybe it isn't healthy, but unless I can be convinced just how unhealthy it is, I am leaning towards trying my luck with staying by her side for as long as possible.

This feels like a re-hash of the first choice, so again, No. I don't see any advantage of delaying a bit and then breaking it off. Maybe break it off if things start going severely downhill before May, but in the meantime, try and keep things going good.

It sounds like you both need time to think. That's good - as the cliche says, relationships need work - and keeping going until May will give you that time. Her holiday will act as a break away from you - again, good, since it will help you both reassess how you feel about each other. When she gets back - either break it off with style (by which I mean: Give yourselves both a good final memory of your time together), or agree to work at it.
A final word of warning on this point - sticking it out until May was your idea, not hers. I have only just remembered this, but it does mean that sticking it out until May isn't exactly her way. So, there's a chance that she'll break it off before then. That doesn't change my advice though.

Some notes:
1) Rather than just breaking it off, she chose to talk to you. This is very encouraging, as it implies that some part of her does want to keep the relationship going (as does the fact that she hasn't made a decision yet). Bear in mind that it doesn't sound like your relationship is doomed just yet. In danger? Yes. Doomed? No.
2) From your description of how things were before this conversation... the relationship got comfortable. This is a blessing and a curse. It's why tv-shows, video games, films etc always show relationships starting or finishing, rarely in progress. Because you get bored. And the boredom saps the polish away from the relationship. Things aren't exciting when they are comfortable. Rollercoaster rides are far more exciting, and attractive, than the couch. So maybe find something to spice your lives up a bit in the next couple of months.
3) Leading on from 2, then, to ask the evil question, especially when it sounds like your relationship might not still exist in a few months... Do you know where this relationship is going? Assume you stay with her, assume you work it out and decide you want to stay with each other... what next? What are your plans? Don't let things stay still and gather dust. Even if it's an extremely hypothetical, far-off conversation about the future: have a plan.

Squilookle:
A very fair post. And yes, harsh :P

While I am asking for advice on aspects I am unsure about, in the meantime I have been very proactively trying to be an attentive and loving boyfriend. Her uncertainty about breaking up is not stemming from what I can do for her, it has deeper roots in what she is missing out on at her age by being taken. This notion of dumping me just to 'fuck around' as you put it, comes straight from her, stated clearly to me. It is not some wild speculation I have about her true intentions on going to Europe. Hell she prefers Australian guys in general, and I'm sure she would have no problem whatsoever getting local guys if she went out on the town.

How do you know we haven't explored moving in together? We have- there's been multiple reasons we haven't done it until now, and it has always been a plan for the indefinite future anyway.

As for the PM thing, I actually did that out of curiosity. I wanted to see if anyone would actually ask. I had no intention whatsoever on elaborating on the details for people who wanted some cheap thrills, and I'm pleased to say that so far not one person on the escapist has sent me that kind of message. I've received plenty of genuine caring ones, but to everyone's credit, nobody went the sordid route, which only strengthens my conviction that this was a positive, caring place to talk about this.[/spoiler]

Well now you have to ask yourself what are you going to do long term?
I do not know your situation obviously but it sounds like she wants to live and enjoy life a little and maybe she can't see herself doing that with you as you're not in that position.
She is going to Europe to travel, how come her partner of four years isn't going with her on this trip?
Whilst you clearly love her and you want to keep her and she loves you but isn't in love with you, how much do you love yourself?
Are you invested in yourself and your future and is this a future she can see herself living with you?

Bara_no_Hime:

Squilookle:
What do you think is the best way? And has anyone else had to weigh up multiple exit strategies for their relationships?

Advice eh? Okay, since you asked:

Open Relationship.

She's going to be in Europe in May. Why not discuss the option that, while she's in Europe, you both act as if you are single. When she gets back, you can continue your relationship. She'll have time to be single and get it out of her system (since, as noted, being single isn't all that great).

This is more or less what I was going to suggest. Just make sure you think you can handle it.

Squilookle:
First of all, thankyou to everyone for your support, sharing of your own stories, and advice.

Except for Tanakh; that didn't help at all...

I think you all deserve to know what has happened since then- so I'll break it down for you.

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Aftermath

My Question for YOU

How do you feel about open relationships? The ability to be together as a couple but sleep with other people ? It's not cheating if both parties agree. She ( and you )gets to expriment and you guys could stay in the relaionship? It seems like decent middle ground . Of course it takes a lot of trust for no one to get jelous , but think about it at least.

If you aren't too keen on that i say end it now . You get closure , you will hurt , but the healing processess will begin sooner and will heal faster .

My 2 cents .

Well, I'm not sure that it can be applied to everyone, even though I wish it could, but I like to think that I am a thinker, and that I rarely act without considering. Therefore, when I was told that, let's call her Y, wanted to end things between us, I asked for an explanation rather than breaking down. She explained that she just didn't feel the same about me as she had before and that it was nothing I had done. I tolerated it and didn't blame her. After the break-up, I gave her space, assuming that was what she wanted. After a while, I contacted her and just talked casually, ignoring the fact that we were no longer a couple. She showed no sign of being uncomfortable, so that's what we did, talked. When I felt secure enough, I inquired about her reason to break up with me and we had a long and fulfilling conversation about it. It cleared the air and got us closer. After that I still hung out with her, since we had mutual friends and we are to this day close, though as friends.
Now I don't know if this helps you, but that's what I did. Gave her space, talked it through and finally accepted it.

Squilookle:
UPDATE: To see what happened next, see page 4, post 109
____________________________________________________________________

After nearly four years of what I thought was a loving, caring and genuinely happy relationship, my girlfriend said 3 days ago that she loves me, but she doesn't know if she's in love with me.

Wow.

She tells me, somewhat out of the blue, that lately she's been feeling like she's drifing away from me, that our relationship seems based on convenience, and that it isn't going anywhere.

The thing is though, that as far as relationships go, we've had it pretty good: we see each other often, get on well with each others' families, we're openly affectionate with each other (in public, after nearly 4 years!!), have sex frequently, and hardly ever fight. And when we do fight, we listen to and respect each other's point of view.

She tells me she's had phases of doubt in the past that have dissapated, but this one is more solid.

A few weeks ago she was chatting casually to her boss about us, when he abruptly told her it wouldn't last. She's also been catching up with a friend of hers more recently, and he's just come out of a long, stable relationship. I'm worried that she's hearing so many tales of woe about other's relationships that she thinks the same must apply to us, and I'm scared. I'm really, really scared.

I asked her if I had (or hadn't) done anything to make her feel this way and she said no. I told her to think about it, and now I'm going over to her place tomorrow, and I just can't shake this feeling of impending doom.

TL:DR Has anyone, especially guys, had this sense of 'about to break up' doom too? And is there any way to prepare for it or make it easier?

I wrote a response for you regarding my break-up experience, but I don't know anything about making quotations and such without including the entire text, so I'd just let you know that I have responded.

Telling by how thoughtful you are in even handling and thinking about this break up inside and out. I would nearly say you are infact too good to her and in some cases projecting your Idea of her onto who she actualy is.Personly Iv had just one serious gf lasted for 2 weeks, kinda planned to break up because to put it simple she was a truck of crazy.Sure i liked her and stuff but week 2 of us going out was my name being brought up in her family fights and after her telling me how shit everything is..she was the type to make her life into a drama soo ya 1st chance i got i jumped off that sinking ship Lol.

.but ya iv been out with my share of girls and what relationship experience I have is from friends and a few self help sites namely one called askmen.com.It never hurts to look up tips and read up on articles..but ya .Op you have to consider your feelings now. Right now she is kinda draging this out.Putting you on edge and overall giving u a sense of deep dred.In about a week or 2 you might very likely still be in a relationship limbo.If the fire in a relationship goes out ( sorry for refering to a relationship as a 3rd person lol) its hard to get back.

Would you rather 2 weeks of not knowing straight away or a break up text in the middle of the night.Both suck ass, at least when your single, you will know where you stand.Sorry to call attention to this but Mentally protecting yourself is Number 1 now.Thx for thanking me dude lol

I was head-over-heels for her, we were serious about a year, and then she wanted to break from university and explore the world. She asked me to come with, but I needed to work for summer for tuition.

We ended it, but actually I waited for her. Big mistake. She wasn't interested in getting back together with me.

I see a parallel for her trip to Europe. She wants to be free for that, feels like she's missing out, and for some people, "gently" breaking up or "wait and see when I get back" holds a false hope to the other party that they can get back together. Their justification is that they ease you into the breakup, and spread out the pain, to make it easier.

End it. Don't look back. Don't expect anything when she returns. Move on. It's gonna hurt. Don't wait.

Be polite. Be a gentlemen. Be a class act all the way. Don't whine. Don't bitch. Don't threaten. Don't guilt.

Be serious. Be honest. Be open.

After reading your update.

Honestly? What do you want to do?

I know what she means by "Wants to experiment" and whatever, however, I don't feel I could be in such a relationship. I have only been in one committed relationship and have had my fair share of experimenting so I can't understand her feelings, but if the person I'm with wants to "Experiment" (be it sleep around or whatever) instead of being in a relationship with me then I say suit yourself and let her go do whatever and whomever she wants, but I would never take such a person "back" so to say.

In the end it's a culture thing, in Mexico girls are a bit more repressed for better or for worse and this whole "experiment" thing while being in a relationship isn't really a common problem.

I wish I could do something else other than encourage you to pick whatever you really want. In the end it's a long term relationship and well, you must decide what you want to do not ask in a forum like a poll. Also remember that in this case specifically the grass looks greener on the other side always. This doesn't apply to you but to your girlfriend. Sure being single can be fun, picking up a random person and making out, perhaps even having sex with them is all fun but it doesn't happen THAT often (I'm considered fairly good at "picking up" and such and I have like a 1/4th bedding on the day of the meeting success rate. That means you have sex every other week in average.

It also comes with a certain loneliness, after being together with another person for so long it takes a while to get back to a "functional social human being" level. You start to notice you have absolutely no idea how to flirt with new people anymore and it starts coming back but, well, I'm just rambling at this point.

Best of luck.

I am really sorry that the relationship is ending before you wanted it too, I've been there and it's hard.

But the part about letting her go with other guys and hoping she comes back? I'd never be able to do that to myself. Have a little self respect.

Make the break as clean as possible and move on. I know it's hard, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Can people be assholes about breaking off relationships? Yes. But your claim here that by the very act of breaking up a person is made an asshole is absolutely ridiculous.

Rejecting anyone from friendship, relationship, whatever, is an asshole act. Sometimes it's necessary (they're psychos, they annoy you, you can't get around their open-mouthed chewing whatever), but you're rejecting another human being. Pushing them out of your social circle and your life. It's not a nice thing to do.

Maybe asshole is too strong a term?

Try mean. Selfish. Self-centered.Pragmatic. Whatever salves your ego. You're rejecting them as a friend/lover/whatever. It's not the end of the world, and you'll both live. You'll feel kinda bad, but life goes on, and you'll probably forget all about them.

Squilookle:
First of all, thankyou to everyone for your support, sharing of your own stories, and advice.

My Question for YOU

Here's the problem though- I've just spent two days blindly talking and reasoning her into giving us another chance at the relationship, before realising that it can't sustain itself. It has to end or there will be no future for it. But I don't know how to do it.

Holy shit. I guarantee she is NOT agonizing over this like you are.

Get up. Turn off your damn computer. Dump her (and this is as easy as saying "Honey, I'm moving on." Print that on a card and carry it with you if you can't remember it). Spin on your heel. Hold your head up high and walk the fuck out.

Like ripping off a band-aid.

Do it.

Now.

Breaking up with her would have to be the single most stupid advice I have ever seen on the internet. Clearly the OP cares about this girl an awful lot and wants to be with her. Dumping her in order to get her later isn't a real strategy and is akin to cutting yourself to cure depression.

All these assholes telling you to dump her first so you get the last laugh are... well assholes.

From your version you paint yourself out to be a pretty logical and caring guy who is willing to go the lengths for this girl. I don't think there is much you can do to change who you are, but the relationship itself does need a slight twist or change if you ask me.

My advice would be to get her to move out of her parents house. The single life isn't about screwing random people so much as a feeling of independence. I think that's what the Euro trip is about to her. Just being alone and independent. Not having coworkers, parents, or you around her 24/7 every day for years on end.

I know how your feeling at least partially. Ive been with my girl for 2 years and we have been on again off again twice. We both aren't perfect we have our issues. But The first time we broke up it was for about 6 months then we got back together. The reason for that was I didn't like one of her aunts and her aunt was talking down to me so I called her out on her bullshit and well that didn't end well for me. During that time she didn't really date. Then the second time we broke up was for about 2 months. She dated another dude who hated me with a passion and I really didn't care much for him either. But during that time she would talk to me and let me know she really cares about me and stuff like that while with this other dude. So I put it plain and blunt make a choice I'm not waiting for you to figure out this or that I'm feeling like crap day in and day out and this needs to end one was or the other. I tell her to leave and take her stuff with her, I get a call a few hours later saying she was wrong and well January we celebrated our 2 year anniversary.

Here is my advice for you, this whole I'm 22 and need to experiment thing is all total bullshit. Love is love you either have it or you don't. I don't care if you have only been with one person if you truly care and love them then it is what it is you don't have to experiment and have multiple relationships to know who is better. If you want to be with someone it don't matter. She needs to get her head out of the clouds and be smart about it. Cause you to have something special, not many people have that kind of relationship. If she is hell bent on leaving you she is going to find any reason to do so. So beat her to the punch don't wait for her to dump you make her choose but pretty much put it like this. Tell her your tired of these feeling, she is being stupid to think you need to experiment to determine if your man is good enough. Take the choose out of her hands and dump her or make it seem you are going to.

I really do share your pain. My girlfriend and I broke up on Sunday, after 3 years.

Honestly I'd say break up with her now. Take control of the situation. You'll feel better about it then waiting until she leaves. I mean, to be blunt here, lifes short and if someone can't see the values you have then don't waste a second longer on them.

You should be careful about taking the advice of the majority here (the "break up first"-plan), as it is clear that you (the OP) really wished this relationship could continue, something that would make any preemptive breakup a clear-cut lie.

Any relationship will only work as long as both parties involved keep it alive. If one is somewhat determined to end it, there is nothing for the other party to do but to try to weather the storm, as even though the relationship may limp on for a while, serious doubt has been sown in both parties. (Not that doubt in and of itself is enough to doom a relationship: relationships are never "happy ever after" - there are doubts and there are fights, but still both partners keep on working to make it continue.)I'll be brutal; she is not coming back to you from Europe. Not a chance. She does not want to be in a relationship, and you can not force her.

There is only one way out now, that completely conserves your integrity, and that is to be the captain that goes down with the relationship; be the better man in all respects; let her go to follow her own choices, and their consequences; avoid drama and unnecessary hostilities; avoid any form of pettiness and "that'll show 'er"-manship, do not sleep around just to show her who's the best single out there - that is the definition of petty - and take the high road. This will lead you to a lot more pain, uncertainty and anguish than other alternatives, as you must feel every step along the way, but it will allow you to rebound as a stronger man, integrity intact.

PS: You seem like a relationship person, give stable relationships a chance and try again soon. There are, as commonly known, plenty of fish in the sea, but quite few in nightclubs, and those in the nightclubs are likely to stink after three days, or sooner, if not properly preserved. I might have overextended a metaphor here...

OK so mini-update, plus more direct replies.

As it stands, we're sort of in a limbo. We catch up frequently, hang out and watch movies/play games, get drunk while doing the above, etc. We're in a heatwave at the moment so the sex has tailed off. At least I hope that's the reason it's tailed off...

First up I'd like to address Johkmil here:

I think- I really do think, that this is what I must do. I also think she's not coming back to me from Europe- and feel fairly certain she'll ditch me just before the trip. But this closely mirrors the course I intend to take, and I have found it comforting to see someone else out there thinks it's a good idea in some sort of form.

And to everybody in particular who's commented about similar experiences, I feel your pain too. You know I do. That's why we're all here, and I find it helpful even just talking about it with you all.

Hey everyone.

I'd like to gauge interest across the escapist community about hearing how this story ends. Sorry about double posting. I'm doing one now for the Australian crowd where I live, and I'll do one more for the US crowd later. If anyone seems interested, I'll tell you all how the story ends. Otherwise this is the last you'll have to hear about it. Thankyou.

Squilookle:
Hey everyone.

I'd like to gauge interest across the escapist community about hearing how this story ends. Sorry about double posting. I'm doing one now for the Australian crowd where I live, and I'll do one more for the US crowd later. If anyone seems interested, I'll tell you all how the story ends. Otherwise this is the last you'll have to hear about it. Thankyou.

You can't just leave us hanging, dude. We need to see how this ends.

Oh, so it's actually the OP resurfacing the thread, not some random guy with 5 posts giving his two cents on a 4 months old thread.

Go on then, give us the finale. Surely a lot of people involved in here would like to hear how it turned out.

I think you deserve better because what she is doing is trying to use you as a safety net.

Also at 22, it is hard to settle down and be with one person because you hardly know who you are.

I would let her go do her own thing after a clean break up.
If the paths cross at some point in the future and decide to get back together again, that is fine.
But I would not wait around.
Life is too precious.

Hey everyone.

Im trying to gauge interest across the escapist community about hearing how this story ends. Sorry about double posting. I'm doing one now for the US crowd, as I've done one earlier for the Australian crowd where I live. If members seems interested, I'll tell you all how the story ends. Otherwise this is the last you'll have to hear about it. Thankyou.

Of course I would wanna know how this story ends. But were I you, I would redact her existence as if she were a mistake in a classified military document. You don't deserve to be used and thrown away when you became an inconvenience.

I never post here, but I'm posting now because as a person who read your story back in March I would very much like to know how things turned out for you. I didn't post then; I had no special advice to give that hadn't already been covered by others. But, I can say that reading your story is one of the few reasons I've still bothered to lurk around these forums, looking for those few bright spots among the more mundane topics.

So please, tell us how it ends.

TC I have been reading your thread for the past hour, it is one of the best posts I have ever read here and I can certainly understand what it feels to be at that "almost breaking up" point. In my case me and my girl broke up at around November 2012.... I didn't take it badly for the first few months.... until I decided to think about it one day and suddenly the memories came back.

It was a bad experience and I know why we broke up , I was not a good boyfriend at all and I realized that I hurt her and I made many mistakes (if I could back in time , I would try to be a way better boyfriend than I was) so when we broke up, I was not mad at her , I was mad at myself because I realized just what a massive jerk I was to her , she was honestly too good for me.

Sorry for trailing off , what I want to say is that I do want to know how your story ends... and I hope whether good or bad, that you are doing good and that you managed to find yourself in a good place in life again... and if you ever need someone to just talk with , well I am here :D

I saw your thread too late to contribute any advice, but I've read it and empathised with many of the things you said. If you don't mind writing about it, I'd like to hear how the story ends.

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