Hilarious email scams

I just received the FBI money scam email. At a glance it looks very official until you really start to read it. Basicly they are saying that 10million dollars has been held by them, and I must contact them with my information to get it.

Here is some stuff from the email.

based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.

What! Who uses the word tout in an "offical" email.

We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.

Huh? The FBI does not want to get you into trouble from whom? The CIA?

"DO NOT PRINT /FORWARD THIS MAIL ITS AGAINST THE FBI LAW"

If you can't see what is wrong with this part go stop using the internet.

SPECIAL AGENT (admin division)
Colleen M. Conyngham
(BADGE NUMBER JTT047101111)
FOR FBI DIRECTOR
MR. ROBERT S. MUELLER.

BADGE NUMBER JTT047101111, sigh.... guess what famous fbi agent this is from; Special Agent Fox Mulder.

It is just me or are scams getting more elaborate and therefor more stupid?

Anyone else got some fail scams?

*Edit*
Here is the link to the email.
http://wafflesatnoon.com/2012/11/26/email-alert-fake-fbi-warning/

That's pretty hilarious. Unfortunately, I don't get shit like that, because I'm careful about my personal e-mail accounts. I use dummy accounts for shit I know will generate spam like that, and thus... never bother reading them.

craftomega:

based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.

What! Who uses the word tout in an "offical" email.

Wait, you're questioning that, when the entire section reads "Srsly, guise, 'tis legit, and not, like, fake, ya know"

craftomega:

We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.

Huh? The FBI does not want to get you into trouble from whom? The CIA?

Duh, they don't want to get into trouble with YOU. You are the one getting 10 million dollars, who knows, you could be a supervillain.

craftomega:

SPECIAL AGENT (admin division)
Colleen M. Conyngham
(BADGE NUMBER JTT047101111)
FOR FBI DIRECTOR
MR. ROBERT S. MUELLER.

BADGE NUMBER JTT047101111, sigh.... guess what famous fbi agent this is from; Special Agent Fox Mulder.

Come on, dude - Fox Mulder is a fictional character - of course a real person could also have the same badge number.

craftomega:
Anyone else got some fail scams?

Well...sort of. I have several that don't even try. But are amusing in their inane randomness

Note: the actual URLs are removed but formatting is preserved - there were new lines in the middle of the links (reflected here):

DoPo:
snip

Wow.... what did i just read? Are Those 3 even scams? or are they just.... I dont even know...

A couple of years ago my friend was living in Canada, and obviously someone somewhere latched on to this fact and started spamming me emails offering cheap Canadian viagra.

I don't know what's so different about Canadian viagra, but the spammer did make it sounds decidedly more awesome.

craftomega:

DoPo:
snip

Wow.... what did i just read? Are Those 3 even scams? or are they just.... I dont even know...

Yeah, I'm not entirely sure what they were. Could be scam...I've got no clue.

Esotera:
A couple of years ago my friend was living in Canada, and obviously someone somewhere latched on to this fact and started spamming me emails offering cheap Canadian viagra.

I don't know what's so different about Canadian viagra, but the spammer did make it sounds decidedly more awesome.

There is only one way to know - buy lots of normal Viagra and Canadian Viagra with the money you'll get from Nigerian princes (or the FBI, if you wish). You can then take several Rolexes to measure how long the effects last for.

I just the usual scam stuff, you know, being offered a two million dollar inheritance, female sexual enhancement products and all that jazz. One subject line even claimed I was the next king of england. XD

Email scams are fine and good, but nothing beats the fake kidnapping call scams that I got here. That was absolutely brilliant.

The only way that could've been funnier is if they said it was from special agent Phil Coulson.

I got a call from 'Microsoft' once telling me I had an infection on my PC, oh the fun I had winding up that guy kept me laughing all day.

Another good one is when you get people cold calling you to try and sell you double glazing/a new conservatory/insurance/etc...that's always fun. See what you need to do listen to them for a minute before saying 'Sorry no not interested...However have I got the deal of a lifetime for you!' Then you try an sell them something, examples i've used are things like, a slightly out of date bag of fudge, an PS2 and 10 games, next doors cat.

OT
I don't get that much spam e-mail, If don't know you then my spam filter dumps your e-mail into the trash folder. Anything that gets past I just delete my self.

SomeLameStuff:
Email scams are fine and good, but nothing beats the fake kidnapping call scams that I got here. That was absolutely brilliant.

fake kidnapping.... do tell.

x EvilErmine x:
I got a call from 'Microsoft' once telling me I had an infection on my PC, oh the fun I had winding up that guy kept me laughing all day.

Another good one is when you get people cold calling you to try and sell you double glazing/a new conservatory/insurance/etc...that's always fun. See what you need to do listen to them for a minute before saying 'Sorry no not interested...However have I got the deal of a lifetime for you!' Then you try an sell them something, examples i've used are things like, a slightly out of date bag of fudge, an PS2 and 10 games, next doors cat.

OT
I don't get that much spam e-mail, If don't know you then my spam filter dumps your e-mail into the trash folder. Anything that gets past I just delete my self.

Ah the good old your infected call, ah I have so much fun with them.

Well I was recently contacted by the FBI director.

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc

I am Mr. Robert S.Mueller, The FBI Director; After proper investigations, we discovered that your impending payment that have been withheld by imposters, claiming to be Professor Charles Soludo (Governor of the Central bank of Nigeria), Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr. Frank Nweke, None existing officials of the Oceanic Bank of Nigeria and Zenith Bank, UK winning Lottery, Andy Lear of Hsbc bank, Coca-Cola winning lottery and among a list of others is now under our custody with the help of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Local Police Force.
Investigations revealed that you have spent a lot on your personal earned money just to conclude the successful transfer of your funds to your nominated bank account by obtaining transfer documents as requested by the imposters, costing you a lot of money but all to no avail.
The FBI had to send some financial crime investigators from our head quarters in Washington DC to Africa in other to carry out proper investigation, after receiving series of other reports similar to yours as you are not the only person awaiting the legal transfer of funds from Africa.
The FBI has giving authority to the International Monetary Funds (IMF) to assist the Federal Ministry of Finance and all the organization involved; such as the Central Bank, Zenith Bank, and Legit lottery organizations to immediately commence with the compensation of all the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of their funds.

With the help of some of the best Internet investigators attached to the FBI, we traced your information from the Internet as one of the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of funds to your nominated account.
I am pleased to inform you that a meeting was held as regards the best way to carry out with the compensation exercise for transparency and most especially to avoid reoccurrence of the delay in transferring your funds and the high cost of procuring transfer documents and came to a final conclusion as all head of organizations involved was duly represented.

It was approved to be issued to you as a valid international ATM card cashable at any ATM machine designation in the world. The ATM account has already being credited with two million, five hundred thousand United States dollars. ($2.5,000, 000.00USD) , with a daily Limit of withdrawal of Ten thousand United States Dollars. ($10.000, 00USD).The ATM card has already being packaged and approved to be delivered to your door step via express courier delivery service.

Contact Mr Roger Johnson {Our FBI ATM Rep.} at the ATM PAYMENT CENTER and reconfirm your delivery information as stated below and your security code with five digit (12090) number has to be submitted alongside with your delivery information for security reasons.

DELIVERY INFORMATION:
FULL NAME AND AGE:
DELIVERY ADDRESS:
SCAN COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT
CELL PHONE NUMBER:
CURRENT OCCUPATION
CONTACT INFORMATION:
NAME: Mr Roger Johnson
EMAIL:roger_johnson170@hotmail.com


HAVE IT IN MIND THAT THE DELIVERY FEE OF YOUR PACKAGE DELIVERY TO YOUR DESTINATION HAVE BEEN SETTLED BETWEEN WE AND THE COURIER COMPANY IN CHARGE OF YOUR ATM CARD DELIVERY.SO YOU ARE MANDATED TO PAY FOR THE SECURITY KEEPING FEE ONLY FOR YOUR ATM CARD TO BE DELIVERED TO YOU.

A RELIABLE AND A TRUSTED COURIER COMPANY HAVE BEEN CONTRACTED TO DELIVER YOUR PACKAGE TO YOUR DESTINATION,AS SOON AS YOU CONTACT MR ROGER JOHNSON HE WILL UPDATE YOU WITH THE COURIER COMPANY EMAIL CONTACT ADDRESS IN OTHER TO AVOID ANY UNDUE DELAY OF YOUR ATM CARD.


NOTE: Under normal circumstances you are suppose to come and collect your ATM CARD in person and sign some documents as proof of the collection of your ATM CARD but the IMF and the Finance Ministry insisted that you pay for the SECURITY KEEPING FEE ONLY of your ATM CARD via western union money transfer, which will cost you only $320.00 USD to cut down travel expenses in other for the western union payment receipt and the receipt of payment of $320.00 USD to the nominated courier company that will carry out with the delivery to your door step to be documented in your file as proof your collection. We hope that is very clear. A receipt to this effect will be sent to you and a copy kept in your file for future documentation.


We also advise that you stop further communications with these imposters and forward any correspondence / proposal you receive from them to Mr. Roger Johnson in other for the FBI to bring justice to does still at large.

GOD BLESS US.
REGARDS.

Mr. Robert S.Mueller III
FBI DIRECTOR.

Edit: Removed link

I got one of the Kenyan Millionaire scams recently. I sent back a bank routing number for a friend whose account is overdrawn by $1500 because he sucks with impulse control. Kinda want to see the results, haven't heard back.

NameIsRobertPaulson:
I got one of the Kenyan Millionaire scams recently. I sent back a bank routing number for a friend whose account is overdrawn by $1500 because he sucks with impulse control. Kinda want to see the results, haven't heard back.

You are evil, I'm glad I'm not your friend lol.
Btw, please keep us updated XD

NameIsRobertPaulson:
I got one of the Kenyan Millionaire scams recently. I sent back a bank routing number for a friend whose account is overdrawn by $1500 because he sucks with impulse control. Kinda want to see the results, haven't heard back.

I hope to god you mean just the routing number and not an account number otherwise you've fucked over your friend pretty hard... Depending on the policy's of his bank he could be up for paying back out of pocket every cent the scammers manage to get their hands on. Being overdrawn doesn't somehow make him immune to having more money taken, infact being overdrawn in the first place somewhat demonstrates that already.

Either way... you're an asshole. Gamble with your own damn account numbers.

RicoADF:

SomeLameStuff:
Email scams are fine and good, but nothing beats the fake kidnapping call scams that I got here. That was absolutely brilliant.

fake kidnapping.... do tell.

Had a guy call my house phone and ask me for $10000 to get my daughter back. Except I was 15 at the time, and sure as hell didn't have a daughter.

For a solid week, I kept getting mail about penis enlargements.

Then there is the usual "50% OFF" scams which flood my inbox.

Esotera:
A couple of years ago my friend was living in Canada, and obviously someone somewhere latched on to this fact and started spamming me emails offering cheap Canadian viagra.

I don't know what's so different about Canadian viagra, but the spammer did make it sounds decidedly more awesome.

Despite living in Australia, I get offers for cheap Canadian Viagra. It must be worldwide famous now!

DoPo:
Da fuq

My brain kinda just "noped" out of existence. Like srsly, da fuq?

OT: I haven't actually gotten any scam emails on any of my email accounts. Not even on the one I've had since like '06. What luck :D

SomeLameStuff:

RicoADF:

SomeLameStuff:
Email scams are fine and good, but nothing beats the fake kidnapping call scams that I got here. That was absolutely brilliant.

fake kidnapping.... do tell.

Had a guy call my house phone and ask me for $10000 to get my daughter back. Except I was 15 at the time, and sure as hell didn't have a daughter.

Dare I ask, how'd you break that to him, or better yer what was his responce?

RicoADF:

Dare I ask, how'd you break that to him, or better yer what was his responce?

I told him I didn't have a daughter. His response was to quickly hang up.

i normally just ignore them but if i get bored and they catch me in the right mood its hunting season and i can tag them along for months. just make sure you use a seperate email to answer them and play up their expectations of a dumb westerner "sorry how do i attach a file to an email again?" send them gibberish random files renamed with a .jpg on the end, make sure you mention you have a large business worth millions, and eventually convince them you will need to see a photo of them holding a sign before you send them money so you can be sure its really them "I. C. wiener" for instance :D

419 eater is the name of the major website of people who troll these scamers for a hobby

Meh, I've only ever gotten that african prince one or whatever. I think I might have gotten one fromr a "woman" who was trapped in some foreign nation and needed help getting to America or something, but apparently had a ton of money she could share with me upon arrival for some reason. I think I played along for a couple of replies just for shits and giggles. At least they tried to play it off subtly at first by saying she just wanted to talk and found me by browsing a mutual website where I'd had my email listed publicly at the time. Sadly, it was a gaming forum, so it was obviously bullshit from the get-go aside from the other little details that seemed off which I can no longer recount.

Since I make sites or own them or whatever I get these fun emails telling me I have to have them inspected or certified or update my domain and spend anywhere from 100-5,000 dollars to have it done. It's really amazing since they will sometimes actually identify websites. One I'm pretty sure I have privacy on so it was like c'mon guys what the hell.

I'd copy one of them but they're not as frequent as you'd think.

I occasionally get one offering to buy my shares for way under price.

(They get my email from the shareholder registers of publicly traded companies.)

The funny thing is, they're legally obligated to inform me of the actual worth of my shares when they offer to buy them. So the end result is an email saying what boils down to, "You have shares worth $10,000. We will buy them for $3,000. Good deal, yeah? Just sign here."

Well I've never gotten anything quite that far-fetched, but I do get a particular format a lot: Someone representing Burkina Faso, with a different name each time (they try to cover all ethnicities) wants to give me the family fortune of someone who died, with their entire family, in a plane crash. And they link the same article every time, where that exact thing apparently happened. Unfortunately, still doesn't fix the spelling errors and poor wording. In fact, I think I could make a quick buck myself by proof-reading these things.

In another case, the email asked for my password for something to do with running out of usernames (what bollocks), but the genius of it was the person had input their name as Yahoo! Alerts, so it would say that's who it was from even though when scrolled over it was a personal email address. I alerted Yahoo.

Lastly, a friend of mine got the typical Prince of Nigeria wants to give you all his money and replied "Well that's ironic because I'm the King of Australia and I have a similar problem. Maybe we can help each other."

What amazes me is that there are enough people that fall for the email to keep the spammers motivated to keep spamming...

The only scam emails I get are the typical "someone is trying to change your Battle.net account details please enter your real details on the other side of this totally not suspicios link or you will lose your account" type of nonsense.

 

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