Choose your death!

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God has just approached you, in all his glory, an proven for all intents and purposes for this thread that he is real. He has told you that it will die in exactly 15 years. Aside from this, nothing is known of the any future events other than your death.
He has also told you that you have been an excellent person! You have lead many on the escapist to enlightenment and as such, you are entitled to a reward, and that reward is as follows:

You can choose your death. Any death, no limits. Be it peaceful or glorious, quiet or explosive, private or world-reaching, grounded or fantastical. Anything at all. Any events that must occur in the passage of time to accommodate your death will transpire to make it work. But death at that moment is inescapable.

What do you choose? A blaze of glory on an alien world? A supermodel sandwich gone wrong? Execution after assassinating hitler? peacefully with all your loved ones around you? Last man on earth?

What death do you choose and why?

edit: The Time Travel Clause! I found a hole in the system and the god of this thread doesn't leave holes!
If you travel back in time, time still works normally (ie if you have 5 minutes left on your death clock, and you go back 20 minutes, you still die in 5 minutes)

I'll be boring... In my sleep..alone (I'd hate for a loved one to find me like that).

I have no desire to "go out with a bang", I'd like to quietly slip away in the middle of the night.

Well, first off I would be extremely relieved seeing as I appearantly now know that God exists and he likes me. So dying wouldn't be so bad.

In light of this knowledge, I of course chose to go out in a blaze of glory, saving my comrades from some otherwordly threat. I would be mortally wounded, back against the wall. I'd take out my shades, have one last cigaratte, tell my pals to "Run god damnit!". Say some sort of one liner and then blow myself and the otherwordly threat to kingdom come.

Crashing a HUGE MUDDAFUKKING SPACESHIP into a planet, in a really badass way.
Like image But without the dude making me crash.

Does anyone know if you really DO blackout if you fall from a really high height before you hit the ground?

Because I might do that, but I would want everyone to see it...

That would be awesome

PsychicTaco115:
Does anyone know if you really DO blackout if you fall from a really high height before you hit the ground?

Because I might do that, but I would want everyone to see it...

That would be awesome

I dunno, depends. You could black out if you're falling from such a height that there's so little oxygen you faint. Possibly also for psychological reasons. But since parachutists are generally conscious during the whole jump I suppose chances are good you'll still be awake.

OT: I'd like to be bludgeoned to death with a Nobel Peace Price. It's... something different.

PsychicTaco115:
Does anyone know if you really DO blackout if you fall from a really high height before you hit the ground?

Because I might do that, but I would want everyone to see it...

That would be awesome

I jumped from 15000ft and it didn't happen to me, though I did have a parachute too so if it's the fear / knowledge of your impending death that would hypothetically cause the blackout then that wouldn't rule it out. Also, you have a title to collect :-P

OT: I would choose to "die from being crushed by my enormous several ton store of banknotes I'd been keeping (and spending) for the last fifteen years" and let the implications take care of the rest ;-)

JoJo:

PsychicTaco115:
Does anyone know if you really DO blackout if you fall from a really high height before you hit the ground?

Because I might do that, but I would want everyone to see it...

That would be awesome

I jumped from 15000ft and it didn't happen to me, though I did have a parachute too so if it's the fear / knowledge of your impending death that would hypothetically cause the blackout then that wouldn't rule it out. Also, you have a title to collect :-P

OT: I would choose to "die from being crushed by my enormous several ton store of banknotes I'd been keeping (and spending) for the last fifteen years" and let the implications take care of the rest ;-)

What a way to go... Crushed by his own wallet...

Get fatally injured somehow at one of my sold out concerts (preferably Madison State Garden).

Two ways come to mind.
1. Fighting off a horde of ravaging demons using a round shield and one-handed battleaxe (Viking style) while defending the last human transport ship to safety (either off world or to another continent).

2. Driving a HUMVEE packed full of TNT and glass jars of grain alcohol into a natural gas repository while wearing a vest of lit road flares.

Quite simple. Wait for my assassin to come to Tsugala and murder me, proving my father to be the hypocritical asshat he really is.

Fucking Konrad Cruze:

"Your presence does not surprise me, Assassin. I have known of you ever since your craft entered the Eastern Fringes. Why did I not have you killed? Because your mission and the act you are about to commit proves the truth of all I have ever said or done. I merely punished those who had wronged, just as your false Emperor now seeks to punish me. Death is nothing compared to vindication."
image

The other solution is hte best death ever.

I'd like to be the last person to die as the Earth flies right into the heart of the sun, burninating all life on this miserable planet.

a massive planet collides with our own, it is so massive and dense that it nearly destabilizes the entire solar system, causing tremors throughout the aforementioned system..... i want to make sure no trace is left and that i wont die alone.

but seriously i would wish for a death with my beloved, surrounded by our many future healthy and wealthy children, as we prepare to take one last and (in)finite journey together, you know since an afterlife is practically confirmed based on this premise. It may be selfish to wish her to go with me, but I cannot imagine infinity without her.

the immature child within me wishes for a epic, dramatic and lengthy ninja-wizard fight to the death, against at least two ninja-wizards, aswell as saving the world one last time publicly before committing my spirit to the lord

I can see this going one of two ways.
Either I die a glorious death fighting alien invaders back from my seat of power as dictator of Earth and Humanity as I transmit the entirety of alien technology to my scientists.

Ooooorrrrrr a mole of moles appears out of nowhere inside my chest cavity and I am instantly obliterated.

Either way seems interesting.

Alakaizer:
I'd like to be the last person to die as the Earth flies right into the heart of the sun, burninating all life on this miserable planet.

Pretty clever way of prolonging your life, as this process will take a couple billions of years to happen.

As for me? Well, I'd like to die the most natural death of all: By the universe collapsing into itself. Either this will never happen or there'll literally not be much left worth living for anymore anyways. I win both ways.

I would want a simple death. I want to walk on the Mars without a space suit.

Having been spending my time recently watching popular scientists give lectures for the layman, death by black hole sounds both fantastic and terrible. Because of the ridiculous density/size ratio, gravity at your feet is far stronger than at your head (assuming a feet-first fall) and you get split in half (apparently most likely at the base of your spine) and then those two in half and so on until you are a stream of particles being sucked in. So that's not good.
But on the flipside, at the "event horizon", the point at which light cannot escape from the black hole, something to do with the varying speeds of photons in a black hole means that you would be able to see the past stretching out in one direction, and what would appear to be the future stretching out in the other, and that sounds as though it might be the single most majestic sight it is possible to experience. However, you also presumably are falling just a little bit too fast to witness it properly, so if I could go into a black hole somehow at an appropriate speed, and maybe with no pain (is God allowed to just make it not painful in this situation?), then that'd be it.

But then thinking about it, if God can put me anywhere and anywhen for my death, maybe there's somewhere I can sit and watch the Big Bang.

I would like for God to take me through time to the earliest event ever, the prime mover (in my head now God has popped into existence purely to facilitate my fantastic death, and the natural world works however it actually does/in accordance with my position of atheism), explaining the origin of everything to me on the way, and then I'd sit in a real comfy chair, drinking Morgan's Spiced and coke, smoking a big joint, and be blown to smithereens by the initial creation of everything. Maybe I'd ask if my dad could join.

Beffudled Sheep:
I die a glorious death fighting alien invaders back from my seat of power as dictator of Earth and Humanity as I transmit the entirety of alien technology to my scientists.

Also a great idea. "I'd like to die [however] as everyone mourns the end of my glorious 15 year reign as Supreme Ruler of Earth." Or the galaxy, or universe or whatever.

I would like to invent FTL travel, fly out of the galaxy and watch it fly through the universe while having a drink,dying seeing what no man has ever seen before.

Part of me would like to die in such a way as to widely discredit one of the really self-destructive philosophies/ideas that threaten humankind long enough for it to cease being accepted by anyone willing to talk about it in public. To die just after releasing the secret to cold fusion onto the public domain while having a stereotypical "talking bad guy" conversation secretly recorded by a web cam with an oil-industry-backed assassin, for example.

Failing that, heck, I'm not proud: falling into a peaceful, drug-induced coma after having sex with multiple attractive and giving members of the opposite sex sounds like a pretty nice way to go, especially given that God has just explicitly told me that a) He exists and b) He thinks I'm a good person and therefore, presumably, I'm on my way to the more pleasant version of the afterlife.

Well, given that I'd be awfully pissed that he just put an exact timer on my life and made me very aware of just how little time I have left (15 years is pretty damn short), I'd probably say:
"I die after destroying you in glorious combat. Your death would cause a large explosion that would in turn kill me."
There, I die in an extremely quick yet epic way and I get my vengeance on the asshole who goes around playing these asshole games with people.

my first response would be to request that it happen immediately without the long wait. in the case that i must wait the full 15 years, then i would just request that it be painless and leave the rest up to fate.

A massive alien ship/space station hybrid, built to lay siege on entire planets, makes landfall on Earth, somewhere desolate and remote to minimize the damage it'll cause when it blows up (spoiler alert: this fantasy ends with me blowing up the invading alien space station, I know you're all shocked). All of this is actually the work of a single alien individual, who invested his every resource into creating the (completely automated; he's offworld) siege craft and filling it with an army of robots whose directive is to exterminate all of humankind and wipe Earth clean of all traces of them so that their master can take possession of the planet and legally sell it, what with there being galactic laws against taking ownership of planets with a sentient native population... plus, you know, xenocide. My conscience thus clean of any remorse that might come with having to kill any sentient lifeforms (alien invasion or not), and with the fate of Earth - and an untold number of other populated planets that will suffer its same fate - on my shoulders since the station is impervious to even the heaviest of the various nations' weapons fire, I persuade the government to give me some weapons and ammo so I can infiltrate the craft (don't ask how, or why they wouldn't just send in actual soldiers for the job), as well as set me up with a video feed for them to watch (and record, naturally) and a high-volume speaker to hang on my belt.

Before I go, I record a private speech, to be released posthumously, in which I explain my certainty of my own success thanks to God appearing before me and everything, as well as the instruction and enrichment that a life of playing video games has provided. Also, I get the chance to meet and thank a few personal heroes like J.K. Rowling, Lauren Faust, the RedLetterMedia team, Yahtzee and Jim, etc., and of course give my final goodbyes to my family and friends in which I take careful note to explain that this is an unequivocally happy thing and they should look forward to the day when we get to see each other again rather than mourn me.

I travel to and successfully infiltrate the alien station, and manage to reach the control room undetected. At last, I unholster one of my weapons and start blasting away at the robots occupying the room. Several of them get the chance to draw their own weapons and fight back, but I manage not to get hit, and finish them off. With the room clear, I go to the control console and activate the self-destruct sequence (as opposed to overloading the reactors, so that the alien criminal responsible for the invasion will have to live with the knowledge that the ruining of his livelihood could have been avoided if he hadn't equipped the craft with a self-destruct sequence). I spend the minutes it takes for the timer to run down - long enough for me to get as much enjoyment as possible out of fighting alien robots, but short enough that it doesn't lose its appeal or wear me out physically - holding the control room against the hordes of robots trying to get in and cancel the self-destruct sequence, eventually using up all of my weapons' ammo and taking up the robots' energy weapons instead. Also, this whole time that speaker on my belt is blaring a soundtrack composed of the likes of "Welcome to the Jungle," "Kickstart my Heart," and "Metal Machine" as well as the occasional divergence like the climactic music from Meet the Medic. My last challenge before the timer runs out is a giant robot that I manage to climb up and kill by firing a rapid succession of shots into its neck joint and mouth. I die laughing with childlike glee.

As a result of this feat, I go down in history (aided by the recorded footage) as a great hero, and the influence of my status combined with the release of my prerecorded speech leads to a wave of worldwide spiritual enlightenment and the complete eradication of all remaining social stigma against video games, which are in fact subsequently propelled to the status of the most popular and revered artistic medium of them all. Robbed of his one source of wealth, the alien criminal is swiftly captured by the galactic authorities, and the matter brings their attention to Earth, which is quickly offered a place in the utopian galactic civilization. Everything is perfect for the rest of forever, the end.

...On a totally-unrelated-no-really-I-swear note, I just got an idea for a novel for which I need to go brainstorm.

I have been having nightmares consistently since i was 5 yrs old. In each one i'm either dying, being killed, or in hell. The only thing it has taught me is there is no such thing as a pleasant death. Even if the method of death is relatively peaceful or drug induced, you still get a moment of extreme agony that you can't react to and the feeling of intense pressure as the blood builds up in your skull and your brain aches in pain from the cells dying from the lack of oxygenated blood. And of course the suffocation. Seems every death comes with a type of suffocation as well. Also turns out pain meds don't usually work so well when the blood isn't carrying it around anymore and a brain stem seems more than willing to remind you of pain with its final electrical impulses. The one exception to all this is any death where your head is either completely exploded or squashed(still not pleasant).

Worst part is always the despair you feel though. The knowledge that you won't get to know what happens next and you will be forgotten before long. Within 3 generations it will be as though you never existed. Even if you do become historically known it will only be for what you did, not who you were. Even in our own lives few ever really gets to know us and never completely. You will feel like you suddenly have so much more to contribute, you'll want to jump up and scream your soul to the world, and it will be too late. Unable to move or even react you only have oblivion left to you. The other dreams of hell don't help. I'm not christian or the least bit religious. I don't believe in a heaven. But hell just seems so much more believable, and no biblical text does it justice. But that is just nightmares.

You would think i would be happy to be alive when i wake up, and to a degree i am. Unfortunately knowing what awaits me in the end keeps me from being too glad of it. When my time comes, i wonder if it will still hold any terror for me. My nightmares still do.

Men on my dad's side of my family never make it to 60. At least not as long as my family has been keeping track. We are actually about 2 days away from the one year anniversary of my fathers death. He was 54. He had me young so i'm only 17 yrs behind him. So the OP's premise for this thread is pretty close to my reality and i've had about 30 yrs to consider the question of how to die. I don't always remember my dreams but i think about this subject at least once a week. No right answer. Except maybe self-sacrifice for something meaningful.

I would choose to die after perfecting the following technologies:
Immortality serum
Cheap, effective FTL travel
Cheap renewable energy
Universal Cure
Nanomachines
and, of course, a way of resurrecting people who have died. Such as me.

Hmm... You've already ruled out time travel, so I must come up with another loophole...

GOT IT! I die due to the heat generated from scanning all my brain's functions at one particular moment and having said functions uploaded into my magnum opus: a machine that takes an incredibly precise brain scan and uses the results of the scan to run a person's conscience as if it were a program. The best part? My brain can run faster now.

Loopholes! Gotta love em. My body and brain die while my conscience lives on!

Captcha: Science. It works. ...yeah the captcha is psychic. I had my doubts, but this kinda confirms it.

Well, I'm thinking of a memorable way.

This guy seems to have it going on.

I will be given a death note, and I will write my own name in it.

*Pulls out pen*

G... O... D...

:D

Tom_green_day:
Crashing a HUGE MUDDAFUKKING SPACESHIP into a planet, in a really badass way.
Like

But without the dude making me crash.

Well then.

I'll be the guy that crashes said ship.
Though you will crash into the ocean.

I will live my years uniting the world and eventually make no one racist, sexist and etc.
I'll be a real Commander Shepard!

And for my death.
I'll die at my beach house overlooking the ocean.
Billions will weep because I died.

and then I will be remembered for all eternity and have a statue in the main city of Earth.

They shall name me Archangel Shaun!

I would be REALLY satisfied with that.
You guys trying to find a loop hole are just fearful of death. *sigh*

I would simply lay down on a bed and quietly will myself to death "Little Big Man" style (in the book the Indian Chief/father dies--unlike the movie). It's an ancient mind-over-body technique.

HOWEVAH...as I lay myself down for the final Great Sleep I would do so secure in the knowledge that over the previous 15 years I had managed to turn life on earth into a utopia (without cliched "dirty secret oppression" etc). This would include a total lack of fear of death. Instead of being afraid people would view dying as simply a step towards the grand After Life.

Seriously, Death is cute! ^_^

image

I would die in as you said "a blaze of glory" except my death would be me being attacked by a huge horde of zombies and me killing hundreds of them, thus saving the last people of the human race and all my family and friends from death and extinction (allowing them to escape).

Copper Zen:

Seriously, Death is cute! ^_^

image

Despite my nightmares, i have to agree. Reminds me of my gf. Appropriate since she's a mortician.

To paraphrase Tyrion Lannister, "In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock."

Seriously though, assuming it's in the modern era and some sort of rejuvenation/resurrection process hasn't been developed, that, or something similar, would be it. I could go out in a blaze of glory of some sort, but I'd much rather live through all my blazes of glory and go out nice and quiet-like, after it's been irrefutably determined that I'm the most badass man to ever have lived. Because really, is it more awesome to go out being swarmed by zombies, or to live through the zombie swarm, kill them all, then spit on their undead graves by dying after you've saved the world repeatedly?

saintdane05:
Quite simple. Wait for my assassin to come to Tsugala and murder me, proving my father to be the hypocritical asshat he really is.

Fucking Konrad Cruze:

"Your presence does not surprise me, Assassin. I have known of you ever since your craft entered the Eastern Fringes. Why did I not have you killed? Because your mission and the act you are about to commit proves the truth of all I have ever said or done. I merely punished those who had wronged, just as your false Emperor now seeks to punish me. Death is nothing compared to vindication."

I fucking love you! :D

Just expect one of your son's to go postal and kill her in the most epic way though dispite you telling him to let her go. That and they'll spend the better part of ten thousand years hunting for the recording of you and your death, just so you know.

OT: For me? Smothered by massive breasts! I'll be honest, I'm a breast man so yeah, I think that's all I need to say on the subject.

I want to go out doing something epic like asuka or rei.

image

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