Is there something wrong with her or me?
Her
1.6% (3)
1.6% (3)
You
44.5% (81)
44.5% (81)
Both
7.1% (13)
7.1% (13)
Neither
46.7% (85)
46.7% (85)
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Poll: There's something wrong with her.

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I haven't had a girlfriend in almost 9 years, and even back then it was less than a month and we only kissed twice. Had no other relationships before or since and I doubt there was any point where she was committed to that relationship anyway so I'm sure that barely counted as is.

I've had interest in a few girls since then but none of them shared the same feeling. But oh well, no big deal. Not like it really mattered much to me anyway, too busy to keep a steady consistent relationship anyway.

But then the other day a girl suddenly showed a little interest in me. Now I'm sure it wasn't anything serious but it took me a bit off guard and it made me realize that I can't imagine myself being interested in this girl anyway, she's most likely a weirdo.

Because honestly. I'm sure I'm just not an attractive guy, experience has shown that girls don't care about me. So at this point I think if there was a girl who showed interested, I'd feel there's something wrong with her more than me.

Neither.

People can't help who they're attracted to. And (some) people can't help being surprised by the fact there are interested parties out there... I know I'm usually taken by surprise that there might be people out there who are even remotely interested in me...

I think the best course of action is to be blunt.

Ask her what her intentions are. And, if she does want to be in a relationship, be honest and upfront with your lack of experience in such matters.
Also, get to know her first before just writing her off as a 'wierdo'.

Neither. Different people like different people. Just because some girls dont like you does not mean none will. I surely havent given up hope.
Get to know her and only then judge. Maybe this will be the girl of your life and you will refuse her just because she was the first to show interest?

madwarper:
I think the best course of action is to be blunt.

Ask her what her intentions are. And, if she does want to be in a relationship, be honest and upfront with your lack of experience in such matters.
Also, get to know her first before just writing her off as a 'wierdo'.

I suppose the best way to clarify confusion is to ask her.

I know ' wierdo ' is a bit harsh, I have no doubt she's an otherwise decent person. But I think if I was a person that normal girls would be attracted to I'd assume I'd have some hints long before now.

Yes this world is filled with all kinds but I know that practically all girls just don't show interest in me outside of friendly chatting, thats just the way it is, like one of those instances similar to acting vulgar or rude to 10 people. Chances are all 10 will be offended.

DoubleU12:
Yes this world is filled with all kinds but I know that practically all girls just don't show interest in me outside of friendly chatting, thats just the way it is, like one of those instances similar to acting vulgar or rude to 10 people. Chances are all 10 will be offended.

This century two [2] women have shown any kind of "interest outside of friendly chatting" in me, does that mean they don't exist? Or just that I don't run into them? Or maybe they are there but I just don't notice. I still expect/hope that I'll find someone eventually. Will she be weird? well yes, probably, but not for liking me.

You're weird for thinking that only a person who showed intrest is weird . That being said you could ask her what her intentions are but i find being that blunt makes situations awkward , but that's just me. You could just , you know , talk to her and stop thinking so hard . I find overanalyzing situations like this unhealthy and pointless . And if she is interested well count yourself lucky and take the compliment . It does wonders for the self esteem.

DoubleU12:
she's most likely a weirdo

WTF dude?

Firstly, what makes you sprint to that conclusion?

Secondly, why would that be a bad thing? I am of the opinion that normal is boring, weird is just something that is abnormal, which means weird is good.

Although if she is collecting cats or carries a stuffed rabbit to school, then maybe it would be best to distance yourself.

DoubleU12:

Hard to judge if it's weird or not with that vague a description. How has she shown interest? Maybe you could describe the moment when she started paying attention to you? For all you know, she's just the "affectionate" type, who act very sweet to even those they just consider friends.

By any chance, were you trying to be funny? Or did something happen, a shared moment? Those two things can circumvent a girl's preference for men like nobody's business.

omega 616:

Although if she is collecting cats or carries a stuffed rabbit to school, then maybe it would be best to distance yourself.

I dunno, how many cats are we talking about here?

Eleuthera:

omega 616:

Although if she is collecting cats or carries a stuffed rabbit to school, then maybe it would be best to distance yourself.

I dunno, how many cats are we talking about here?

Apparently 7 is the number that defines a crazy cat lady.

Eleuthera:

omega 616:

Although if she is collecting cats or carries a stuffed rabbit to school, then maybe it would be best to distance yourself.

I dunno, how many cats are we talking about here?

I think anything over 5 is pushing it, might start getting a bit of "crazy cat lady" tag after 5. At first you start out with one or two, then slowly you're like ... this....

Don't be silly, there's something wrong with everyone. There is no such thing as "normal people", everybody's screwed up in some way and that's perfectly fine.
That said, if the only thing that makes you think she's a "weirdo" is that she's interested in you, it sounds like you're just making excuses for yourself to not step outside of your comfort zone and give it a shot.

Eh, don't be so hard on yourself. Or do, it doesn't really matter, but it doesn't mean she's crazy. People just have weird taste in these things.

I think you need to boost your self esteem a bit, thinking that a girl who shows interest in you is weird isn't right. Sometimes it just takes a little while to find someone, but I really think you should give this girl a chance, ask her out on a date or just get to know her a bit before you dismiss her.

Be blunt, and just imagin your self a sexy beast and act with confedance then you'll do fine.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder you fool. For everyone in the world, there is a member of the opposite sex who thinks your the sexual cat's pajamas.

Also stop feeling so sorry for yourself, if you like her then go for it, if not, why are you even asking us this question?
What I hear is a guy too scared to have a relationship and is trying to find a reason not to pursue one.

You.

Your reasons for rejecting her (possibly) are wrong. You need to see the movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815236/

Girls are looking for all sorts of things. Looks matter. Be on your best. But most aren't looking for male super models (the race would be extinct. Most of us males, including me, are as ugly as sin. To quote Elaine from Seinfeld, women are like works of art. Men are like Jeeps. Utilitarian.)

Decide if this girl is someone you can have a relationship with. Maybe you misread her signals? Even if you did, why?

Figure out what you want. I have friends who seem happy without a mate. But if you want one, don't let your own self image keep you down. It's not like she is going to tell your mom that she is shocked at you for asking her to go out sometime. Have fun. Roll with the punches if they are coming, but if this sounds like fun, go for it.

I have my fingers crossed for you. I think you can have some fun. I'd go for it.

pillywiggins:
Don't be silly, there's something wrong with everyone. There is no such thing as "normal people", everybody's screwed up in some way and that's perfectly fine.
That said, if the only thing that makes you think she's a "weirdo" is that she's interested in you, it sounds like you're just making excuses for yourself to not step outside of your comfort zone and give it a shot.

I don't think you could have said it better, Unless you went straight from the movie Angus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OwVEQ3GmvQ

And to the OP, never be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. I'm not the best looking either, at 5'5 and 250 lbs, with long hair and a lack of shaving for the last 6 months. I'm comfortable being by myself alot of the time, but the times I have stepped out of my box have been some of the most memorable times in my life.

A few regrets, but many more triumphs.

DoubleU12:
Snip

I didn't know the voices in my head had an account too. Huh, go figure.

OT: In all seriousness though, I agree with the "be blunt and ask her what she thinks" idea. I mean, you never know, the two of you might just hit it off.

There is something wrong with you if a girl shows interest and you think SHES the weird one.
Just get yourself out there and give it a shot, worst case scenario is that you'll be exactly where you have been for the past 9 years.
You have nothing to lose.

pillywiggins:
Don't be silly, there's something wrong with everyone. There is no such thing as "normal people", everybody's screwed up in some way and that's perfectly fine.
That said, if the only thing that makes you think she's a "weirdo" is that she's interested in you, it sounds like you're just making excuses for yourself to not step outside of your comfort zone and give it a shot.

Also this.

Yo bud. There is something seriously messed up if you think no girl can ever feel attraction to you. Whatever's ailing you there is probably some sort of fix for it. Too fat? Work out. Acne all up in your grill? Roacutane. Skinny as fuck? Gymcard.

Even if you are born with an ugly mug you can always manage to look decent. And frankly, you don't need to look better than decent.

A girl showed you some interest and you think she's bizarre because no other girl did before? Sounds like someone has some lack of confidence in one's self. I'd say go talk to her. If she seem to really have some interest in you and you show some, I'm pretty sure that you can score a date easily.

Even if your past experiences has showed you otherwise, it's still worth trying...

Eleuthera:

DoubleU12:
Yes this world is filled with all kinds but I know that practically all girls just don't show interest in me outside of friendly chatting, thats just the way it is, like one of those instances similar to acting vulgar or rude to 10 people. Chances are all 10 will be offended.

This century two [2] women have shown any kind of "interest outside of friendly chatting" in me, does that mean they don't exist? Or just that I don't run into them? Or maybe they are there but I just don't notice. I still expect/hope that I'll find someone eventually. Will she be weird? well yes, probably, but not for liking me.

Make it this millenium, much more impressive.

Also: You, dear OP, are the messed up one here. Get some confidence and get out there to get her.

I'd say there's something wrong with you, dude.

First of all, are you really sure she's interested in you in that way? Interact with her a bit more. Look for clues.

Secondly, don't sell yourself short. Everyone has their type. You might just be hers. And if you chat with this woman as a friend, you may discover something about her other than her weirdness that you like. You may even come to like her weirdness.

But if you don't and you're genuinely not interested, that's okay too. I only say that there's something wrong with you because you seem to assume no one has any reason to be interested in you. Assume nothing and explore the possibilities.

You should probably ask her if she's being serious or not but there is every chance that she may have fallen for you.
Believe me when I say that it is more than possible for the physically repugnant to find love. I myself am far from a looker and I have plenty of psychological issues but yet somehow I've still got a girlfriend who loves me and has stuck by me for the past three years.

Look guy, if you don't really like her then you don't have to be in a relationship with her. Maybe get to know her and you'll like her.

Although, you seem to be a little understaffed in the self-steem department. I know this because I would think the exact same thing if a girl was actually interested in me. But maybe I'm proyecting too much, though.

The girl provoking all this is not the issue mate, just a symptom, the total lack of self-esteem and confidence however might be. If you think that's a problem and wish for a more "normal" self, visit a psychologist or a spiritual guide, if you don't then just ignore her.

And unless you are both totally fugly, spineless and penniless, or live at the end of the world, it is almost impossible not to find cute girls that are willing to have a good time with you, that they live up to your standards is kinda lot harder though -.-

omega 616:

Although if she is collecting cats or carries a stuffed rabbit to school, then maybe it would be best to distance yourself.

Jeez, there was this one girl in my school, carried something that looked like this to school everyday:

She was one of those people who was quirky and weird but you can tell they're trying to be quirky and weird and they just come off as annoying.
Yeah, I'll take someone who's genuinely weird and funny rather than someone who tries to be weird and funny.

People have varying taste.

Besides, it's silly to assume just because no one showed interest before that means that no one ever will. No one showed an interest in me until wow one day someone did.

Wow, I found myself in, almost word-for-word, the same situation recently (including 9 years without dating, with my last experience before the 9-year break being a short and awkward two-week thing that went nowhere).

One thing I can say for sure is not to think too much. Overthinking will screw you over every time. If a girl is showing interest in you and you're unsure whether they're right for you then, well, there's a common process for two people to experiment with and gauge their compatibility with each other and it's called dating :)

If you've been thinking about it constantly and building a detailed map in your head of what potential problems there could be between you, etc then I can pretty much guarantee that you're wrong about all of it. There's only one way to find out for sure and that's to give it a try. Respond to her advances and see how things work out in the real world instead of the virtual world in your head.

Get to know her, maybe you'll find out you really like her or you'll make a new friend. Sounds like you have nothing to lose by talking to her so go do it.

DoubleU12:
Because honestly. I'm sure I'm just not an attractive guy, experience has shown that girls don't care about me. So at this point I think if there was a girl who showed interested, I'd feel there's something wrong with her more than me.

Everybody is somebody's fetish.

There is nothing wrong with the girl for liking you. That's insulting to her that you would even consider that.

If she likes you, take it as a compliment - as I'm sure it's intended. Talk to her. Date her. Embrace the possibility that you've found someone.

Yeesh. I voted "neither" in the poll, but I think you need a dose of Self Esteem. Remember what the guys at Smile Time say: "Self Esteem is for Everybody!"

I don't know either of you so I don't feel I can accurately vote in this poll.

I will say that I have felt something like this. To this point in my life I have had no girlfriends. My mind sees this as a sign that I am generally unattractive (which as a socially awkward individual who stays indoors 99% of the time makes sense to me). I have grown used to this concept to the point that it is integrated into my world-view as a whole. Consequently I feel almost threatened by any indication that I am attractive, even if I know that there isn't any actual romantic interest (or at least I believe that to be the case strongly enough that I am certain of it). I am absolutely aware this is my problem, but that doesn't stop me thinking anyone showing any interest in me is insane or at the very least of incredibly poor taste in people.

Stupid emo-topic!
Be happy that a girl likes you!
If theres one thing I cant stand its guys who ruin a good relationship because they feel theyre "not worth it"!

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