Fictional characters you wish you could punch in the face?

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I know almost everyone here has a fictional character they dislike or downright hate, but is there a character you hated so much than you hate so much, that you want to physically harm them the first chance given?

oddly enough, I have only one such character where I have that curiously specific thought;

Sarah, from Ed Edd & Eddy. And good golly, I think those of you who watched this show as often already know what I'm talking about, and if any of you haven't watched the show, let me summarize:

Sarah hardly does anything aside from bossing (or trying to boss) all the other characters around, beats the heck out of the Eds even in moments when they did nothing to deserve it, and gets away with it almost every time! She makes Angelica from Rugrats and even D.W from Arthur look like saints.

If I ever find myself in the universe this show takes place in, I know the first thing I'm gonna do is hijack a semi-truck and crash it straight at Sarah. And if her brother Ed annihilates me for doing so, I'd think to myself that it would be worth it.

Golly I get such violent ideas in mind when I think of her, you're probably reading this and thinking of me as a hypocrite.

But I digress, Do you have any fictional characters you hate enough that you want to physically harm them if at all possible?

Master Shake. I have never been more happy than when Meatwad blew him up with missiles.

Probably the celestial dragons from one piece. They're such thoroughly hate-able people that I want to stab them with a rusty fork... Not that I would given the chance, but I would certainly indulge a few sadistic fantasies XD

Jacob from Twilight.

Most every JRPG protagonist and supporting characters.

naruto
i could see myself liking that show but when you hate the main character it's just not meant to be

The other pilots of Starfox. I mean what do these lazy bastards do other than get chased around, take potshots at enemies, and get in the way of your line of fire before complaining about a few lasers up the ass.

Poorly designed escort missions with useless / suicidal NPCs make me want to punch the NPCs, then the programmers.

Wow I'm surprised Joffrey from Game of Thrones isn't on here yet. I wish I could punch Joffrey in the face.

Also Michael from Lost annoyed me to no end:

The ponies from MLP. Punch them long and punch them hard. Punch them until their equine molars are flying in bloody arcs through the air while the brony community watches in silence. In the distance, someone snivels.

Ann Coulter.

What? She's real? Well, shit. Guess I'll have to go with anyone French Stewart has ever played.

Peggy Hill.

I'd forgive her bad Spanish and her general stupidity if she wasn't so egotistical and controlling, but as it stands she currently leads the backpfeifengesicht[1] brigade.

[1] Face that needs punching

JimB:
Master Shake. I have never been more happy than when Meatwad blew him up with missiles.

My youngest brother was scarily like Master Shake, so much that I wonder if some of the creators met him and copied his personality.... And I got to punch him in the face many times for being Shake-stupid. Sadly he passed on a few years back, but ATHF always gives me a way of remembering him... and his absolute nutball stupidity.
RIP Geoff.

OT: Vaan from FF12, Hendrix from Red Faction 1 (ohhh there's more than punching I'd want to do but thats a start), KefkaKefkaKefkaKefka 1000x Kefka, and Barack Obama... Oh he's fictional alright... along with a lot of politicians out there.

Tali, Mass Effect. That fucking Quarian makes me so mad, and there is no scenario where in which I take her anywhere or talk to her (outside of her loyalty quest(xp)) as I just can't stand her. Everything she says and does just rubs me the wrong way.

So did I win this game yet? Just look at that thing, it's a target.

image

Do all these random people that you play Dota 2 with count as fictional? No? Oh well.

Carl in second season of Walking Dead. Jim described his perfectly "the one hundred fuck ups of a four-foot burden"

That fat fuck Nozomi from Persona 3. Hated his guts! Always whiny, useless and oh so arrogant.

But most of all I want to punch Linny from Front Mission 3! That fuck had no place in your team! You meet him once somewhere around the middle of a game and beat the living shit out of him for being such as douche, and by the end you meet him again and he just joins your crew! Fuck of Linny, I don't want you in my crew!
Just look at his stupid face!
image

TheBlueRabbit:
Ann Coulter.

What? She's real? Well, shit. Guess I'll have to go with anyone French Stewart has ever played.

Impossible. No one that dumb can be alive! She was created by SNL writers as a form of satire, right? Right?

Vanille from FF13 -_-

bug_of_war:
Tali, Mass Effect. That fucking Quarian makes me so mad, and there is no scenario where in which I take her anywhere or talk to her (outside of her loyalty quest(xp)) as I just can't stand her. Everything she says and does just rubs me the wrong way.

Well you're doomed :D
(It's okay, I don't get the love for her character either. We can die together.)

OT: Inphyy from Ninety Nine Nights. Holy shit is she an awful character. She supports killing ALL the goblins- even the women and children- because of her hatred of them. I mean, I kind of understand her hate because they killed her father, but JESUS FUCK she lost any sympathy I had when she pulled that bullshit.

If anybody has been watching The Following they'd probably understand why I have an extremely strong desire to punch Emma straight in her face.

I guess it's a sign that the character is an effective villain but still... I freaking hate that pixie haired little bitch.

image
Right square in the middle
of his goddamned clown face.

Kekkonen1:
Vanille from FF13 -_-

I'll matche your Vanille, and raise you one Tidus from Final Fantasy 10. He is the most annoying, useless character I have ever had the displeasure of playing as. He infuriates me to no end, and every time he says' "This is my story" in that annoying voice of his, I just want to rip out his vocal chords and use them as jump-ropes.

Hope from FFXIII.

I will continually profess my hatred towards him just because of how annoying he is, and I'm talking about after his issues with Snow are resolved. And I don't care that he's even a decent medic, I mean, look at him.

How is that face not punchable?

SlaveNumber23:
Wow I'm surprised Joffrey from Game of Thrones isn't on here yet. I wish I could punch Joffrey in the face.

You have to admit, he plays the part extremely well.

OG Loc from GTA San Andreas.

Shia Lebeouf's characters from Bayformers and Indiana Jones.

The cast of Twilight.

Nier (Death Note).

Amy Pond and River Song.

Lisa from the simpsons... need I say more?

mitchell271:
Impossible. No one that dumb can be alive! She was created by SNL writers as a form of satire, right? Right?

That's the problem with her. She's not dumb at all. She's actually quite intelligent. She just happens to be nothing more than a hateful twit. A shock-jock masquerading as a conservative commentator. You know. The bastard child of Howard Stern and Bill O'Reilly.

Barda236:

Kekkonen1:
Vanille from FF13 -_-

I'll matche your Vanille, and raise you one Tidus from Final Fantasy 10. He is the most annoying, useless character I have ever had the displeasure of playing as. He infuriates me to no end, and every time he says' "This is my story" in that annoying voice of his, I just want to rip out his vocal chords and use them as jump-ropes.

Ugh... That guy's "banter" with Yuna, trying to cheer her up was fucking insufferable. Let's both play jump rope with his vocal chords. Of course, we've gotta run him over with a steamroller too. I seem to have that problem with a lot of modern Final Fantasy characters these days.

The entire cast of Prometheus. You know what I'm talking about.

Jon Snow was pretty annoying for the first season of Game of Thrones. "Waa waa I didn't get what I wanted"

Barda236:

Kekkonen1:
Vanille from FF13 -_-

I'll matche your Vanille, and raise you one Tidus from Final Fantasy 10. He is the most annoying, useless character I have ever had the displeasure of playing as. He infuriates me to no end, and every time he says' "This is my story" in that annoying voice of his, I just want to rip out his vocal chords and use them as jump-ropes.

I second Tidus. I'm actually going to play FFX during the summer and see if Tidus has any plot relevance at all that couldn't have been given to some other character, like Auron. It'd be interesting to see FFX remade, but with Tidus entirely taken out and instead have Yuna or Auron as the main character. Hell, even his origin adds only an unnecessary layer of confusion to the story: he's from a dead civilization a 1000 years in the past, which we only see for the first half hour of the game and only because the game has to establish where he comes from. For all the good it does to the plot, they might have as well made him an alien.

Jack whatshisname from Far Cry 1. Hated him, hated the story, hated the game.

Oh, and I'm also surprised that this bitch hasn't made the list yet. Maybe she's just overshadowed by Joffrey in the tv series, but believe me, in "A Feast for Crows" she's even more hatable. If we ever get a season 5 of GoT, she's going to be hated even more than Joffrey.

008Zulu:
You have to admit, he plays the part extremely well.

Oh the actor and the character are fantastic, I just hate him as a person.

I have always hated Ariel from Little Mermaid. She's a selfish mary sue who causes all the problems in her movie, has them all solved by other people, gets absolutely everything she wants at the end, and didn't earn a single thing of it. I bring up Mary Sue because none of her flaws are meant to be problems to be overcome through character development, there just supposed to be there to make you 'like her more', and if you don't agree with her, well, then you're just like her father, who most definitely has to change to acquiesce his daughters' will.

If she suddenly just showed up in front of me, I would take one long swing at her face. All I need is just one.

I would also punch G1 Starscream very, [b\very[/b] hard if not for the fact that he is large and made of metal. But seriously, I don't why, for a guy who trend-set the 'obvious second-in-command trying to take over his boss' archetype, he sucks so horribly at it. He is absolutely stupid. And, I mean, I already think Transformers is an abominable show, but his stupidity is unbearable, along with his voice, which is completely unbearable. You ever watch a show and wonder why the villain just doesn't kill someone? I've always wondered why Megatron never got rid of the obvious mutineer the first chance he got.

That one bad guy from the second arc of SAO. Yeah. That guy. Hes just slimy. A slimy, slimy butterfly.

OHOHOH! I forgot! Dusk Taker from Accel World! Hes just plain punchable!

...the writer for both those characters is the same guy. Damn he makes a punchable villain...

I have others, but they are mostly because the characters themselves are just handled very horridly.

uchytjes:
OHOHOH! I forgot! Dusk Taker from Accel World! Hes just plain punchable!

Shame he'd probably cheat and dodge it though. Unless you go for him after he stops being a villain but then it probably wouldn't be too satisfying.

OT: Most Shakespeare characters I find insufferable, but rather than list them, I'll just post this:

Also, Hope and Vanille from FF13, Tullea from the Book Dragonsblood (she spends the entire book being an unreasonable b*tch but at the end they try to say that you should forgive her because of a reason. Yeah, no.) and Ollie from Ni No Kuni (yes he is a little kid, but dear god is he annoying).

I'd answer 'Uchiha Sasuke', but I don't think I care enough about Naruto (either the series or the character) anymore to do so.
Could I bribe Shino to punch him? Or even Naruto and Sakura? That would be more satisfying.

...

As a kid I used to write fanfiction where I punched Minotaurus from The Egyptian (Sinuhe egyptiläinen in Finnish), one of my all-time favourite books, in the face, among other revenge fantasies.

MiskWisk:

uchytjes:
OHOHOH! I forgot! Dusk Taker from Accel World! Hes just plain punchable!

Shame he'd probably cheat and dodge it though. Unless you go for him after he stops being a villain but then it probably wouldn't be too satisfying.

OT: Most Shakespeare characters I find insufferable, but rather than list them, I'll just post this:

Well I'd assume He'd be restrained. Also, thanks to your little reminder of high school english, I have to say that I'd punch mostly every character in The Great Gatsby. If not because they are rich but because they are so disappointing. My english teacher built up TGG as one of the best books ever, but it was just a bunch of rich people being rich, scandals and all. This meant absolutely jack shit to a high-schooler in the middle of the country where the "rich people" in town are a group of small business owners with ridiculously spoiled kids.

Joffrey Baratheon. First I'll punch him. Then I'd use his guts as a skipping rope. And have his lungs sun-dried and turned into a little waistcoat.

As there are two many stupid people in the ACTUAL world to punch - so many that I'd wear out my fists, your fists, and the fists of my whole entire family - there are also far too many characters that irritating, moronic, and hateable. I'm sorry, but I get critical.

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