Could you be attracted to a bisexual?

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Lieju:

DoPo:

manic_depressive13:
I wouldn't care at all if the person I was dating was bisexual.

I have a friend who is gay and he told me that he wouldn't want to date a bisexual because, since their dating pool is larger, they would be more likely to cheat. Or something. Anyway, we had an argument about that and I think I convinced him of the absurdity of such a belief by the end.

That is indeed one of the stupidest things I've heard. It's like saying you want to date people who are only into blonds (or whatever your hair colour is) - same reasoning applies, after all - larger pool and all.

Except that the society generally doesn't look down on people who are into blonds or tell them they will 'grow out of it'.

I understand what you mean and I'm sorry it might have sounded dismissive or offensive. My comment only concerned the size of dating pools, however. Surely if that was a valid metric for willingness to cheat, then if you took two similar people - men or a women, of whatever sexual orientation, the one who is into blonds is less likely to cheat than the other because their choice is more restricted. Or into tall people or whatever. I don't believe that to be the case - I don't think the "dating pool" determines how faithful somebody is.

Funnily enough, even though I myself am bisexual, I'd prefer my ladies to be gay and my gents to be straight. Not really sure why, I just prefer it that way. That said, if I was attracted to someone who was bisexual I wouldn't be put off at all.

uhh...yeah?, why wouldn't it be?. i'm all for asking logical questions and getting honest answers about this kind of thing (political correctness be damned) but why wouldn't you be attracted to a Bi?

cthulhuspawn82:
I think males are more likely to respond positively on this because of the "two girls are hot" mentality. I don't believe girls think that way (i.e. "two guys would be hot") they are more of a monogamous bunch.

The copious amount of yaoi & slash fangirls suggests otherwise. :3

I fail to see why someone would have any legitimate issue with this that wasn't either homophobia or possessing an incredibly jealous streak.

I know some people have an issue when their significant other talks to people of the opposite gender; how would they handle a significant other who was Bi talking to not only people of the opposite gender but also of the same gender knowing full well they could be sexually attracted to ANY PERSON?

Captcha: crime of passion

Looks like it answered the question for me.

Edit:

JayElleBee:
Funnily enough, even though I myself am bisexual, I'd prefer my ladies to be gay and my gents to be straight. Not really sure why, I just prefer it that way. That said, if I was attracted to someone who was bisexual I wouldn't be put off at all.

Hrm, apologies here. I guess it's impossible for a bisexual to be a homophobe and I can understand how someone in that situation would just have personal preference.

Bisexual doesn't mean "not monogamous" so if that's what you're looking for there's no conflict. The whole idea of labels for sexual types gets a bit ridiculous anyway. What percentage of the population do you actually find yourself attracted to? I find perhaps a subsection of the opposite sex actually attractive, in a having a emotional reaction to them way as opposed to knowing what attractive is supposed to mean culturally. If I only find 5% of women actually appealing (which is still a lot of people) and found no men appealing, does that mean I'm 97.5% asexual or am I heterosexual?

Sorry, in short bisexuality doesn't have any effect on a relationship. It's if your partner wants an open relationship that is the issue which you seem to be assuming, and this is where it's important that you communicate what kind of exclusivity you are looking for.
Bisexual people get happily married to one person all the time and stay entirely monogomous, just like hetero people.

The question sounds similar to saying "my partner said he/she likes both skinny and fat people, should I go out with them?"
It's not about needing both, its about not caring about that part of a potential partner.

Yep, can and have. I don't see why it makes much of a difference.

Yes, but I'm a guy,

cthulhuspawn82:
I think males are more likely to respond positively on this because of the "two girls are hot" mentality. I don't believe girls think that way (i.e. "two guys would be hot")

That's how I remember the general opinion to be as well, and I'm afraid that for all my tolerance, I'm not much different.

It would be highly hypocritical of me to say no, considering I am one.

Having said that, my best friend IS prejudiced against bisexuals, and he's gay (it's one of those touchy issues every friendship has). I've slowly been making him understand that no, bisexuals are not any likelier to cheat on you just because they're bisexual, and yes, most bisexuals are perfectly fine with settling into long-term monogamy with a single partner, and no, they will not necessarily push for threesomes with members of the opposite gender, and no, not all bisexuals are douchebags who pretend they're straight and will be ashamed of you or put their social status before you, and aaaaaargh [incoherent gargling with rage].

It's a slow process.

But believe me, biphobia and prejudice exist everywhere, even among people who are supposed to accept us as kindred spirits.

cthulhuspawn82:
I think males are more likely to respond positively on this because of the "two girls are hot" mentality. I don't believe girls think that way (i.e. "two guys would be hot")

CloudAtlas:
Yes, but I'm a guy,

cthulhuspawn82:
SNIP

That's how I remember the general opinion to be as well, and I'm afraid that for all my tolerance, I'm not much different.

The question that the OP put to us was if we would date a bisexual, NOT if we'd be ok with said bisexual cheating on us with a member of their own gender (if we're straight) or opposite (if we're gay).

I, a straight female, think guy-on-guy action is pretty darn hot, but that doesn't mean I'd be ok with my fella cheating on me with another guy. If we had an open relationship that would be different but I doubt I could have one of those.

I think I already am, although she's not very interested in trying that side of herself out.

Captcha: it is enough

Could I be attracted to a b... what? From a straight male perspective, is that even a question?

The answer is yes actually, that's a question. A friend of mine is bisexual, she's had adventures on both sides, but she's been with this guy for 2 years or so now, and he doesn't like the idea of seeing her with another woman. HE'S TOTALLY GAY, RIGHT?

Anyway, as for me, if my hypothetical bisexual girlfriend told me she wanted to reenact that sexy scene from Black Swan, I wouldn't object.

Wouldn't matter to me, as long as she doesn't pull a fast one on me.

Why would that be a problem? The only scenario where I would have an issue with it is if I was going out with this person for a while, and then she suddenly revealed that she may be bisexual, as that would either mean that she kept that from me initially, or is unhappy with me and looking to pursue other interests. Those two scenarios aside, I can't imagine ever having a problem with it. If anything, that would be a desirable factor.

Lieju:

I'm quite tired of being told to 'grow up and get a boyfriend', or 'why would you choose to be gay?'

Just thinking about a friend of mine, he has the most fantastic answer to 'Why would you choose to be gay?'. After years of trying to explain the usual 'It isn't a choice. Why are you so against people being happy?' he now simply answers 'It's like a hard mode for life. The enemies are more difficult, but you get loads more exp for it.'. He says it completely deadpan, the first time I heard it I sprayed an entire mouthful of lager out of my nose.

OT: Another of the straight white male brigade coming in to ruin this party with our vehement interest in women and only women. I'm going to give this a no, with a but. I'm monogamous, I only enter into monogamous relationships, it's something that gets established right at the beginning to ensure there's no misunderstandings later on. So after that, if she's straight or bi doesn't really come into aside from the occasional 'She's hot.' 'Totally.'. So it really doesn't make any tangible difference as far as I'm concerned. The but was an occurrence where my girlfriend at the time told me she was bi. She decided to do it by waiting til we both had a bit to drink then saying "I want to have sex with *female friend*". Man of the world today me would have probably said "What a coincidence, me too! But let's not." However 17 year old first relationship me just got upset. So, yeah, phrasing.

Well, I'm dating a pansexual so...sure? I guess? I'm pretty sure this falls into it. As long as she doesn't go flirting to other girls/guys and talking about them 24/7 (unlike my ex, who was also a pansexual, but in hindsight I think it was for 'I live in Texas so LOOK AT ME' factor...no offense to Texans, memory says that you guys are rather anti gay...).

In fact I've never dated a straight girl...huh...so yeah I'm cool with it. Though in my experience they generally go crazy or start to crave others attentions. This one's been 9 months though, so I've got high hopes.

trollnystan:
The question that the OP put to us was if we would date a bisexual, NOT if we'd be ok with said bisexual cheating on us with a member of their own gender (if we're straight) or opposite (if we're gay).

My intention was not to make suggestions about cheating. Just saying that, on balance, if you ask men how they'd find it if their girlfriend was bisexual, they'd probably entertain this thought more positively than if you ask women about boyfriends.

cthulhuspawn82:
I think males are more likely to respond positively on this because of the "two girls are hot" mentality. I don't believe girls think that way (i.e. "two guys would be hot") they are more of a monogamous bunch.

The only way I could imagine it making someone uncomfortable is if it makes you feel as if you alone cant fully satisfy your partner. Once again, that's not a problem for guys. Guys think thier girlfriend being with another girl is hot. A girl probably wouldn't think her boyfriend with another guy was hot, she would probably be angry at him for cheating on her.

No, no...I dated a girl who would go on and on about how hot she found two guys together being to the point that she wanted me to roleplay doing things with another guy and also trying to get in a three way relationship with her and another guy (I was the 'first' guy so to speak). Never EVER again...not in a million years for a billion dollars. Plus two girls going at it is just meh to me...probably because I'm demisexual.

Generally it doesn't matter, since it isn't something you have to make a big statement about. If you're with someone, you're going to be faithful to them, so being bisexual won't make a difference one bit. If anything it just means you can eye up the totty together. If you find yourself with someone who you are wary of revealing your full sexuality to, then maybe something is amiss in the relationship.

I could certainly be attracted to a bisexual woman, but the idea itself doesn't jive well with me. I am a man, if I am dating a girl then yeah I don't want to be wondering if she's checking out other women...

Years ago I dated a bisexual guy, he made it known he was bi by bringing up whenever he could. He slipped up by saying how he thought gay sex seemed disgusting and he'd never do it and how he didn't see the appeal to men. I reminded him of his 'bisexuality' and he was like 'oh yeah I am!'

What a weirdo LOL. I've met so many people like that. The only problem I have with dating a bi would be the stupid niggling thought at the back of my head, "what if he's actually gay but saying he's bi and using me to appease his parents/he isn't ready to say he's gay?!"

It's stupid but that's how my daft brain works. Doesn't help I've known people who have actually done that >.<

Well, I am a bisexual myself, so why wouldn't I?

Honestly I think bisexuals get far too horrible of a reputation. I can't stand how many straight and gay people say "don't date a bisexual". Why? It isn't like we're any more likely to engage in infidelity. Having more options is always a good thing in who you date. It doesn't mean you'll date more people or that you'll cheat. It merely means you're more open to dating a wider variety of people than heterosexuals or homosexuals.

Me, I'll never understand heterosexuality or homosexuality. To me, limiting who you date by gender makes as much sense as limiting who you date by race. When someone expects me to make a decision between dating men or women, it feels like someone is telling me I can only date black people or white people or Asian people? Why should I have to choose to only date one race of people for the rest of my life when they are all good options with great personalities? People of all races are worth dating. Just the same, people of all genders are worth dating. Both men and women can be great people and have great personalities.

In fact, as a bisexual, with the racial example, that's exactly how I tend to relate and see heterosexuals and homosexuals. I can never understand it quite, but I just have to accept it exist. Whenever I talk to a heterosexual or homosexual and they share their sexuality with me, it feels like I'm talking to an Asian fetishist. It is very clearly they're enthusiastic about being attracted to who they're attracted to, but I can't help but think how sad it is to have such a limited dating pool. Like there's suddenly this nice black woman or Asian man, but they have anything to do with them. I don't get it. I don't get people having this tiny field of who they're attracted to.

But even as someone who doesn't have heterosexuality or homosexuality, I don't try to restrict them or tell them they are wrong for preferring men or women. So why must we be told to "pick a side"? Or that "bisexuals should only date bisexuals". Why? Why should bisexuals only date bisexuals? It sounds bitter.

I don't see how it is different to dating a heterosexual or homosexual.

Some people seem to be concerned that a larger amount of potential partners means they are more likely to cheat, but that is just idiotic. It makes as much sense as claiming that somebody preferring brunettes is more likely to cheat if they are surrounded by them on a daily basis.

I think I'd prefer to know their sexuality early on in the relationship though, although that's mainly due to my dislike of surprises.

Aramis Night:

Unfortunately some women try to use it as an excuse to fool around. Every time they bring up how they are attracted to both men and women and should be allowed to have one of each because they are bi, I bring up how I'm attracted to both brunettes and redheads and should go get one of each... just before I dump her.

Admittedly this is something I hear about every now and again as well. The whole "It doesn't count as cheating if it's with another girl/guy". The idea that infidelity only matters if the cheating relationship is a heterosexual one. Very odd indeed.

Lieju:

I'm quite tired of being told to 'grow up and get a boyfriend', or 'why would you choose to be gay?'

It worries me that there are still people like that. Thankfully I haven't met any myself.

Instead I come across people who say "Bisexuals are greedy". What concerns me is that I don't think all of the people saying it were joking.

EeveeElectro:

What a weirdo LOL. I've met so many people like that. The only problem I have with dating a bi would be the stupid niggling thought at the back of my head, "what if he's actually gay but saying he's bi and using me to appease his parents/he isn't ready to say he's gay?!"

It's stupid but that's how my daft brain works. Doesn't help I've known people who have actually done that >.<

A friend of mine in school did that to an extent. They claimed to be bisexual as a way of getting us used to the idea that he liked guys, and then later came out as gay. He said a female bisexual friend of his advised him to do so, as it would make people more comfortable.

Not that it did, none of us cared in the slightest.

Lesbian here and I don't really like it, I've tried dating girls who were in to guys too but I always had the feeling that one day she might start gawking at boys or say 'Isn't he fit? Phwoar!'. Possibly whilst drinking diet coke in an elevator with her coworkers. But that's all a 'problem' with me rather than with bisexuals, I'd just rather avoid the awkwardness that I would create in such situations and stick with girls-who-like-girls.

Hopefully you don't all hate me now.

Straight male here (represent the majority y'all!) and I'm actually in love with a bisexual so yes, I'm not entirely sure why it would be an issue...
Before I met her my answer would still be yes, heck young-teenage-pervert me probably would have found it a turn-on.

It's weird to think about where my personal limits are though, I look at this question and think "pfft, how could that EVER be a problem?" before thinking to myself: "I wouldn't be able to date someone who changed their gender through surgery..." and yet there are people who would say the same things about that scenario, that it shouldn't even be a question.

Not sure where I was going with that, but food for thought I guess.

Angelowl:
I'm looking for other bisexuals in particular. Being an androgynous transgirl my chances are better there. Also the odds seems to be in favor of them being more flexibile in bed. With the girls considering getting strap-on and the guys not being too shy about there butts. More fun all around. ^^

Regarding them getting attracted to others. Am I interested in this third person? Sweet, threesome! Otherwise, I don't mind sharing as long as my partner acts responsibly. ;)

Far to many guys are skittish about anal stimulation on them. I am straight and not attracted to men at all but I love when girls play with my ass. Its about pleasure and I am having fun with a girl, yet so many guys deem it as gay and are scared about it. My wife is Bi and she loves to use a strap-on with the women she plays with and the guys if they let her lol. We are swingers so it doesn't bother us to share.

I am a straight male and my wife is very Bi. Not in the putting on a show way but in that she has been with way more women than men in her life sexually. It doesn't bother me in the slightest and I have given her permission before to go out with and have sex with women when she feels a craving to be with a woman. It helps that we are also Swingers so sex is just fun for us and not a huge emotional thing like it is for some people. We both have sex with other people and sometimes we watch or participate and sometimes we don't. As long as we are both honest and completely open about what we do and like than everything goes great. We have been in the swinger lifestyle for over 4 years and we enjoy it and believe that it has helped us to be even closer than before. It's definitely not for everyone but we know a lot of people who have very close relationships usually better than our non-swinger friends. So the key really is openness about what you and your partner want.

It wouldn't really affect me if my partner was bisexual, how could it affect me? I guess if I was the jealous and possessive type then I would have to be suspicious of both genders?

I don't see how it could matter to anyone who isn't homophobic.

Dirge Eterna:
So the key really is openness about what you and your partner want.

This is true of every relationship. Some do it through swinger sex, others through more standard means, but the goal should be the open and full communication you'd have with a trusted friend.

Sure, I don't see why not.
(It would have to be a female bisexual, but that's because I myself am heterosexual.)

Wait.. so you're asking me, a man, if i'd have a problem with a girl, who likes to do some kinky girl-on-girl action and thus majorly increases the chances to include said sexiness into our bedroom compared to a straight girl?

Jeah, i'd be upset and throw her out!

CriticalMiss:
Lesbian here and I don't really like it, I've tried dating girls who were in to guys too but I always had the feeling that one day she might start gawking at boys or say 'Isn't he fit? Phwoar!'. Possibly whilst drinking diet coke in an elevator with her coworkers. But that's all a 'problem' with me rather than with bisexuals, I'd just rather avoid the awkwardness that I would create in such situations and stick with girls-who-like-girls.

Hopefully you don't all hate me now.

I'd ignore anybody who has a problem with that. It's your life, and if you don't want to date bisexuals, that's your choice. It's not like you are are saying you don't like them, or wouldn't want to be friends with them.

Also, were you referring to this advert?

It made me laugh remembering it.

Darken12:

Dirge Eterna:
So the key really is openness about what you and your partner want.

This is true of every relationship. Some do it through swinger sex, others through more standard means, but the goal should be the open and full communication you'd have with a trusted friend.

Indeed. Think about how many less divorces/break ups in the world there'd be if people were capable of just talking to their partner properly.

I don't see the issue.

Could be a plus, not in an "inevitably leads to a threesome way", but if they have a wider range of experiences, intimate knowledge of both sexes bits, etc.

Well It'd be pretty hypocritical for a bisexual male to b e put off by their partner being bisexual so.. no? Don't really care...

Darken12:

Dirge Eterna:
So the key really is openness about what you and your partner want.

This is true of every relationship. Some do it through swinger sex, others through more standard means, but the goal should be the open and full communication you'd have with a trusted friend.

Yes totally. I learned my lesson with my ex-wife that if you can't open up for fear of ridicule or rejection about what you want and like sexually or otherwise then nothing you do will ever improve the relationship. Now with my wife we are totally open about how we feel and what we want and desire. Its pretty freeing when you and your partner have the same taste in women and you can openly admit she is beautiful or he is hot. I am not attracted to guys but I can admit when a guy looks good.

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