I don't know about World War 3 but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones. Einstein

I think it went something like that.

"Why would something that degrades from heat and friction be used for something that involves heat and friction!?" ~Me after I realized the condom broke.

"The enemy always has 100% accuracy, I swear."

//me//

"Goddamn it, Bob Barker."

-from a comedy me and a friend of mine might make some day. It will be hilarious.

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

Hilarious in any possible situation.

"With your bullets. With your bayonets. With your bare hands."
--Russian Commissar (CoD: WaW)

I love this quote. I don't know why.
It could be because he growls the last part and you get a sense of how pissed off he is. :P

Starships Troopers (the first movie)

"I thought we finished with Planet "P"",
"No, we have to go back to "P""

It like bathroom humor while trying to be serious haha

H'okay this one has probably already been put on, but oh well, I love it lots and lots:

"Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, ballistags(?) boobies, nipples, jugs, jubblies, Stonking Great TITS!"- Yahtzee (Tomb Raider Review)

Several from 'The IT Crowd'

Roy: We don't need no education...
Moss: Yes you do, you've just used a double negetive!

Roy: No, there you go, I just heard it come on. No, that's the music you hear when it comes on. No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry, are you from the past?

Jen: With all due respect John, I am the head of IT and I have it on good authority. If you type 'Google', into Google, you can break the internet, so please, no one try it, even for a joke.

I have more but they seem to have escaped my brain for now....

Gibbs: Come on, DiNozzo. We've got problems - someone's trying to kill us again.

Abby: (raises hands as if in prayer) For a second, I lost my faith in... But now I know, that forensics was just testing me. And I will rise up, and I will find the man that did this to Tony, and I will crucify him!

God I love this show.

Tony: (To Ziva) Every time I bring a date home, my neighbor complains about the noise.
Ziva: What... her shouting 'no means no!'? Actually I have the same problem.
Tony: Oh do you?
Ziva: (To Tony) I'm what you Americans call a 'screamer'.

Best quote ever has to be:

Mrs. Braddock - 'You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk.'
Winston Churchill - 'Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.

probably not the exact words, as there are so many versions of that conversation everywhere, but definatly the best thing ever said, espcially by prime minister.

Jack: You people had therapists?
Juliet: It's very stressful being an Other, Jack.

Locke: The Man from Tallahassee? Was that some kind of code?
Ben: No John, unfortunately we don't have a code for "there's a man in my closet holding a gun to my daughter's head". Although we obviously should.

-LOST (TV series)

"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."

I enjoyed pretty much every quote from when you died in Cod4.

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!
Sorry

Boom de Yada, Boom de Yada...

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned

"Money can buy life" the last words of Bob Marley

"I told you I was ill"
The Tombstone of Spike Milligan - 1918-2002

Too good not to have already been said, but I can't be arsed going through all 29 pages.

*EDIT: why the hell did i put Random Quotes up there O.o that was stupid...*

Oh... where to begin...

"Escape from Techno Hell!"
"No. *shoots alien that just teleported in*"
"SUCK ON THIS, YOU JUMPING BOOGERS!"
"'Sup fool."
"Look! A jack-in-the-box!"
"OK! That's it! Its official: all aliens are bastards... Especially you!" *points gun at a dead Vortigon*
"I am Captain Gordon Freeman of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes, ordering you to open this door!"
"NO, NOT YOU!! YOU DON'T HAVE A TICKET!!"
"Come on! Hit it! Hit it with a stick!!"
"Programmers..."
"Oh my god... this is crazy in a box with a side order of fries..."
-disconjointed, random quotes from the Freeman's Mind webisode series

"Follow the screams." -Ian Malcolm, Lost World: Jurassic Park

"Surely you can't be serious!" "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." -Airplane!

"You know what the difference between a bull and a show band is? With the bull, the asshole's usually in the back." -My dad, quoting one of his friends from a long time ago

"The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must bear the deepest wounds and scars of war." -Douglas MacArthur

"Veni, vidi, vomiti; I came, I saw, I ralphed." -Harold, one episode of The Red Green Show

"Its not a bunny suit!" -Arthur, The Tick

"This can only end in pain, agony, and suffering. I love it!" -me ^-^

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." -unknown
"Yeah, and our modern interpretation: Hell hath no fury like a pissed b****!" -a friend

"I... have had... enough... of YOU!" -James Tiberius Kirk to a certain Klingon, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

"Silence is golden, but staring silently at a friend for untold minutes on end for no apparent reason but to creep them out... that's priceless." -me

"f1r57!!!11!1!!1!1" -idiots on Youtube

"HURRY!~! HIDE TEH NYQUIL!! MOMMA'S ON!" -weird-ass friends in an MMO

"Wait a minute... we have no flamethrowers. The Army has flamethrowers. I'd say we're fucked if we have to go up against the Army." -early George Carlin

"Inconceivable!" "You know, I don't think that word means what you think it means..." -Vizzini and Inigo, The Princess Bride

Not exactly a quote, but funny nevertheless: "For a disturbing image, flip disk over" -on the front of the disk on a copy of

That, and The Beer Song, also from The Bard's Tale... classic sing-a-long material.

By the way, tell me if this has happened to you before, but after a good, long session of Eternal Darkness last week Sunday, I started seeing the numbers 333 everywhere, especially on clocks x-x it creeped the hell out of me... even more than that first ghost from Fatal Frame II (which is, for the record, what I consider to be one of the scariest games of all time).

"Thirty-six flavors of TITTY!"

Anything Roman says it glold. :D

"Delta Squad is in your house, B1tch! You hear that sh1t?! You grubby-ass B1tches are goin' down! Like way down--dead down... so down you ain't even gonna know which way is up! Your asses are gonna be cryin' to your skanky-ass queen! Oh mommy, don't let the bad man hurt us! F***you! We gonna whup your momma's ass! Woo!" -Cole

As well as Dizzy's quote..i could leave this one out honestly when i heard this i was totally off guard.

"Its as dark as a rats ass in here, let me light betties titties up" -Dizzy

Discussing my belief on religion with a relative. I am an atheist by the way.

Them: So what do you think happens when we die? It's like sleeping? We become a ghost?

Me: No.

Them: So what?

Me: I cannot possibly comprehend what things after death will be like, and I'm okay with that.

Them:... That's amazingly profound.

"It's time to prove to your friends that you're worth a damn, sometimes that means dying, sometimes that means killing a whole lot of people." -Sin City

Oh, I have been waiting for this..

"Ignorance and stupidity are two very different things. One can be solved using a book, the other requires a shotgun and a shovel." - Some person

"I hate ___" - Francis, Left 4 Dead (Because he always says it in the exact same tone and it's funny how many quotes like that he has)

"Puny little doorstop...*switches tapes* BEAVER!" - Norb, The Angry Beavers
"Now we'll see who speaks first, we'll see now." "Open 7 days, including sundays." - Climactic exchance between Norb & Dag in 'Utter Nonsense'.
"POM POM POOOOOOOOOOM, dramatic reveeeeerb." - Baron Bad Beaver

Man that show is a diamond mine of brilliant quotes.

"Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed."-unknown, but I've found similar quotes online.

Also (and I don't know the EXACT quote) from the movie "Patton," :
You don't become a hero by dying for your country, you become a hero by making the other poor bastard die for theirs!
Really that whole speech.

Indigo_Dingo:
"I've got better things to do with my time than to kill someone I don't know over things I don't care about."
- From a movie Steven Wright made.

"Only when the last tree has been chopped down,
Only when the last tree has been cut down,
Only when the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realise money cannot be eaten"
- An unkown Indigenous American.

"Politicians hide themselves away, they only started the war
Why should they go out to fight? They leave that job to the poor."
- Ozzy Osbourne, of all people

(Culled so its not half a page)
"If you're in a band cause you just want lots of drugs and girls, then just go somewhere else and do that, and leave Music alone."
- Bruce Dickinson, Live at Abbey Road.

I hate to burst your bubble on the Ozzy quote (though I may be late in doing so) but I'm willing to bet that Geezer Butler penned those words, since he did so for most every Black Sabbath song. It is an excellent line though.

If I was being smart with you, how would you know?

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

"If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off,"

"Consistency isn't always good, especially if you're consistently wrong."

"Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs."

"In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from."
Peter Ustinov

To the world, you might be one person, but to one person, you might be the world.

I'd rather die like a man than live like a coward

A coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier dies once.

You know you're in love when you cant fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams.

"People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk."

Nobody told me I was a child prodigy.-Herbie Hancocok

Since time is a continuum, the moment is always different, so the music is always different.

"It's not safe, but yeah, I can flip a piano over. You take it on this side where there's not really as much weight."-ben Folds

In my world, love is for poets.-TUOMAS

Hab dich liebe mean I love you.

Most of the hard-core 'Who cares?' types actually care a lot. It's just that at some point they've been hurt, and hurt bad. So bad, they won't let themselves even hope anymore for fear of being disappointed and hurt again.
"Speak the truth, but leave immediately after."

EDIT
Voila! In view a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi now vacant; vanished! However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified! And vows to vanquish the venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition!

The only verdict is vengeance. A vendetta. Held as a votive not in vain for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. HEHEH. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

I think I win.

^That man is very verbose.

Anyways...

"How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries." -James French, just before execution by electric chair

"Capital punishment: them without the capital get the punishment." -John Spenkelink, just before execution

"I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass." -last words of Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr.

William Shatner playing the role of Admiral James T. Kirk: KAHN!

"This is the Jane Harrington?"
"Yes."
"Jane "Bury Me in a Y-Shaped Coffin" Harrington?"

-------------------------------------

"You mean, how did the war start?"
"Yes, sir."
"The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire-building."
"George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika. I hardly think we can be entirely absolved from blame on the imperialistic front. You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent a war in Europe, two super blocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast, opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way, there could never be a war."
"Except, well, this is sort of a war, isn't it?"
"That's right, there was one tiny flaw in the plan."
"Oh, what was that?"
"It was bollocks."
-Both from Blackadder

"Will somebody get me a sharp knife? I want to castrate the person who made this sauce. I'm not a vindictive person, I don't want to cause any pain, but with this man's DNA in the gene pool, humanity is doomed"
-From Chef! (Not sure if its quoted exactly, I found two versions of it and this was funnier)

"People shouldn't be afraid of their goverments, Goverments should be afraid of people"

-V

this is a rough paraphrase from something my friend told me about:

"this war is more like a war between men and maggots. or dragons and wolves. or men riding dragons throwing wolves at maggots!" this is actually on the internet somewhere.

and heres something i made up right now:

"dont you know who i think i am?" which is a song by either fall out boy or panic! at the disco. fall out boy actually also has a song, cant remember what its called, but they say "the best part of 'believe' is the 'lie'". and their famous song "sugar were going down" has them say "im dying to tell you anything you want to hear/cuz thats just who i am this week". pretty much explains half the stuff that happens to me, not that anything interesting ever happens.

one more which i made up myself. it goes like this:

"reality and insanity are separated by the finest line".

only relevant because i wanted to draw a webcomic, which might actually be called "the finest line". it doesnt exist, at least not yet, so dont bother looking for it. it also might end up being called something else because its starting to sound like a bad title, and i dont even have a way of putting a drawing on a computer (my scanner sucks so much) and the only art program i have is ms paint (which i hate so much), so it might not exist for a while, if at all. also, its a problem that i like to ramble a lot, or as i just said somewhere a few minutes ago "i have a rambling problem".

There are not stupid questions, only inquisitive idiots.
-Anonymous

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
-Gone With the Wind

Your mind is like a open book with blank pages.
-Anonymous

I will cut you.(with a country accent)
-Some Movie

If I could speak to every person in the world, I would say that
regardless of race, ethnic background, or religion, everybody
has a special purpose, so please live for today and don't
stop believing. Also, go sox!
-Anonymous

As I sit here looking at the beautiful mountain range around
me, hear the ducks chirping, the sound of a softly flowing
brook filling my ears, and the sun warming my face, I think
"I really wish I was back in New York"
-My Dad