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1)   9 Apr 2008 06:42
Hey Joe
PROBATION
Posts: 756
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

I'll kick things off

"Loved many, trusted few and always paddled his own canoe"

User was put on probation for: It's a conspiracy !!!!!!!!1eleventy!. (3 days)
2)   9 Apr 2008 08:01
Voodoo Child
Beat Writer
Posts: 181
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

"Loved by many, trusted by more. Wasted his life behind closed doors."

3)   9 Apr 2008 08:12
davidboring
Paperboy
Posts: 15
Joined: 24 Nov 2007

"Shouldn't have put it in his mouth."

I'd like to think I'd be encouraging use of imagination. My gift to the world from beyomd the grave.

4)   9 Apr 2008 08:16
Kalinmoor
Paperboy
Posts: 13
Joined: 29 Feb 2008

"AFK"

5)   9 Apr 2008 08:18
sammyfreak
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1252
Joined: 5 Dec 2007

"Emperor, loved by the ignorant, feared by the wise."

6)   9 Apr 2008 08:47
jim_doki
Press Junketeer
Posts: 409
Joined: 29 Mar 2008

Here lies Jimmy
"What truck?"

7)   9 Apr 2008 08:56
GloatingSwine
Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 552
Joined: 10 Nov 2007

You can't win the epitaph game. Spike Milligan already has.

"Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" (I told you I was ill).

8)   9 Apr 2008 12:07
Finnish(ed)
Copy Clerk
Posts: 66
Joined: 16 Mar 2008

"Here was scattered the ashes of a body of organic matter that was so convoluted and conflicted that it thought it was a person."

9)   9 Apr 2008 13:05
Jeroen Stout
Copy Clerk
Posts: 82
Joined: 1 Aug 2006

"Nude photos:
Enquire within."

10)   9 Apr 2008 13:06
Break
Muckraker
Posts: 314
Joined: 10 Sep 2007

"Alright, so you weren't bluffing after all."

11)   9 Apr 2008 13:12
Voodoo Child
Beat Writer
Posts: 181
Joined: 13 Dec 2007

"Turns out I was grossly misinformed as to the rules of the game "Chicken"."

12)   9 Apr 2008 13:25
Akirasfriend
Copy Clerk
Posts: 72
Joined: 6 Jan 2008

"CHICKEN
CHICKEN
CHICKEN
CHICKEN
FUCKIN' CHICKEN NUGGETS
Don't fuck with the Colonel!"

Tallest headstone ever.

13)   9 Apr 2008 13:25
Apone
Muckraker
Posts: 279
Joined: 13 Jan 2008

Billy Connolly wants, in very small letters:

"Your standing on my balls"

Classic

14)   9 Apr 2008 13:32
Delta4845
Paperboy
Posts: 24
Joined: 8 Apr 2008

"DEATH, Few return from it, mostly in Zombies
So don't trash my tombstone, or I might do something about it"

15)   9 Apr 2008 13:39
00exmachina
Copy Clerk
Posts: 88
Joined: 21 Feb 2008

'Easily distracted'

16)   9 Apr 2008 13:43
Fondant
Press Junketeer
Posts: 422
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

'The rumors of my death have been grealy exaggerated'

17)   9 Apr 2008 14:21
MindBullets
Copy Clerk
Posts: 94
Joined: 5 Apr 2008

Either: "Stop camping my corpse!"

or: "I wouldn't be here if the server hadn't lagged."

18)   9 Apr 2008 15:35
fix-the-spade
Press Junketeer
Posts: 419
Joined: 25 Feb 2008

"The rumors of my death have in fact, been confirmed... bugger."

19)   9 Apr 2008 16:16
Anarchemitis
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2000
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

R.I.P
Anarchemitis
I think lots of people liked me.
Well, I guess no one gets my Inheiritance.

20)   9 Apr 2008 16:18
qbert4ever
Press Junketeer
Posts: 404
Joined: 14 Dec 2007

"I'm hungry."

21)   9 Apr 2008 16:25
HalfShadow
Press Junketeer
Posts: 397
Joined: 6 Dec 2007

"Shut the fuck up. Don't make me come up there."

22)   9 Apr 2008 16:26
Thisusernameisjustanotherwasteofspace
Paperboy
Posts: 42
Joined: 15 Feb 2008

"Excuse me, but I can't stand up."

Too bad I didn't think of this one first...

23)   9 Apr 2008 16:42
thebobmaster
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3651
Joined: 28 Nov 2007

"Damn snipers."

24)   9 Apr 2008 17:23
57Htz
Anonymous Source
Posts: 3
Joined: 9 Apr 2008

"Died the way he lived; yelling racial slurs at his computer in a small cat-filled apartment."

25)   9 Apr 2008 17:37
valdrith
Anonymous Source
Posts: 1
Joined: 9 Apr 2008

"Zone repop in two minutes"

26)   9 Apr 2008 17:56
Doctor Shenanigans
Anonymous Source
Posts: 8
Joined: 4 Feb 2008

"Beloved Father, 1988-2018

Beloved Mother, 2018-2024

Beloved Father Again, 2024-2050"

27)   9 Apr 2008 18:03
knumpify
Beat Writer
Posts: 132
Joined: 15 Feb 2008

see, I told you I'd get the last laugh

ran for chief of police, 2000
ran from chief of police, 2008
buried, 2008

28)   9 Apr 2008 18:07
Joe
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 1124
Joined: 7 Jul 2006

Here lies Joe Blancato ... and why not?

(Free get-out-of-a-one-day-ban-free card to the first person to PM me what I'm referencing.)

29)   9 Apr 2008 18:14
Apone
Muckraker
Posts: 279
Joined: 13 Jan 2008

I hate spawn timers...

30)   9 Apr 2008 18:26
renard
Copy Clerk
Posts: 65
Joined: 5 Feb 2008

"Besides the illness and being 114 years old...
what the fuck I'm doing here?"

31)   9 Apr 2008 18:27
renard
Copy Clerk
Posts: 65
Joined: 5 Feb 2008

damned firefox...

32)   9 Apr 2008 18:37
Sabbad
Anonymous Source
Posts: 10
Joined: 9 Apr 2008

"If you're reading this then I'm already dead."

33)   9 Apr 2008 18:39
RPJesus
Copy Clerk
Posts: 51
Joined: 20 Nov 2007

"Whoops"

34)   9 Apr 2008 18:47
MrMisfit
Paperboy
Posts: 41
Joined: 8 Apr 2008

"Finally"

35)   9 Apr 2008 19:04
TheNecroswanson
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1913
Joined: 29 Nov 2007

"Do you mind?"

Or

"Died how he lived. Not allowed to print in public."

or

"It was darker in my room."

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