Hmm I'm not a really big one for lying I'm usually a pretty honest person and I'm never going to top 7bob7, but once I did kinda pretend I had a serious illness to get out of spending time with some really annoying friends of a friend. Dunno why I said I had malaria when the flu would probably have done lol.

That sounds a bit... Dumb. No offence :P

I can't remember the worst lie I've ever told. It's probably not something big, I'm a mythomaniac, so I try very hard not to lie (since if I do, I can't stop myself and start lying about everything, to everyone).

The worst lie I've been told on the other hand, just to whine about it somewhere, is that a friend of mine, who also worked with me on a game claimed to have made this: http://images.tomshardware.com/2007/08/22/bioshock1.jpg picture. And based a roleplay on it (which I'm guessing was copied straight out of the same thing). Since I didn't follow Bioshock's development it took me over a year to figure it out. I almost used the concept in a game. I started making a few models for him, and while it probably wouldn't have been exactly the same as bioshock, it probably would have been bigger and had a completely different story, and look, and wouldn't even have been steampunkish. Practically everything would have been different, it still feels kinda bad when your concept artist gives you that, signs his name on it and expects you to believe it. (It's not a misunderstanding either, he's claimed it on multiple occasions, and even described how he did it and what he was happy and unhappy with).

Of the hundreds of thousands of lies I've told, I honestly cannot pick apart one being worse than another. My most COMMON lies were in highschool, when I'd always lie about why I didn't have my homework, or lied to my parents about being suspended (I was outta class for like 3 months in Grade 10 for fighting, they never knew). Me and my sister used to always erase the answering machine, convinced my parents on getting a digital because it's "more reliable", truthfully it was less risky than flipping the cassette. From about grade 9 thru to 11 the school's infosheet on me always had my dad's former office phone number instead of the real one, so they'd try calling him and never get through. And with the home machine at my mercy, they rarely found out when I was in shit.

I lie often, and I've learnt a valuable lesson...the more you lie, the better you get at it! I don't think I've ever told a major, harmful lie, mostly been stuff about not doing homework/not doing jobs around the house etc. but when it has come to the more complicated things I've managed to learn how to cover all my angles.

I was however planning to go and see a gig in Southampton, but the trains weren't running back until about 11:00pm which is cutting it very fine, so I was planning to tell my parents I was sleeping round a mates, but actually get a train to Southampton, buy a ticket at the box office, see the gig, hope I made it back to the station in time to catch the train, be back in Oxford at 1:30 am, get a taxi round my mates and crash there.

However, if I'd missed the train I'd have had to have slept rough and got a train back home at about 6/7 am, and decided that it was too crazy.

I told everyone in high school my niece was my daughter so they would tell the teachers I had a kid. Also I said the mother died in child birth so I was a single dad. I slept through my senior year; I would tell the teachers it was because my parents made me move out and between my night job and my daughter(Niece) I Hardly got any sleep. They would pass me and would thank them so much. I never read any of the books like catch in the rye, hamlet, 12 angry men, or to kill a mocking bird. All I had to do was write reports(Short ones) on book I had already read. Ha HA Those Suckers. I'm going to hell I know.

Gooble:
I lie often, and I've learnt a valuable lesson...the more you lie, the better you get at it! I don't think I've ever told a major, harmful lie, mostly been stuff about not doing homework/not doing jobs around the house etc. but when it has come to the more complicated things I've managed to learn how to cover all my angles.

It's more about motivation that practice actually. Earlier I couldn't lie worth anything, hell, I couldn't even take the pressure of an interogation if I was innocent, it still made me giggle and avert my eyes. That caused my parents to punish me for something I hadn't done. It got me quite pissed off. So I learned to lie. And I damn well learned the lesson well.

And I remember my first lie now. I hacked my mothers email and sent letters in her name to my teacher that I was sick. Got caught doing it too because I couldn't be bothered to eliminate the evidence (in the form of an answer from the teacher). I got bored.

"I love you". That's probably the worst lie I've ever told someone; and I tell a lot of them.

I've never told that big of a lie, but there was a time when everyone thought I was lying. We were supposed to move to my mom's new job in some town in Alberta and the school was making a big fuss over it on the last day of school, but my mom decided not to accept the position at the last second. I had to go back to school after summer was over and no one believed me about it. Until I moved away for real a few months later, anyway.

I have lied about my gender. Countless times. I know you're probably thinking "no one would fall for that" but I'm incredibly androgynous in just about every way imaginable. It's amazing how differently people treat me based on what they think my gender is, and also hilarious when I tell them they guessed wrong. ;)

The Worst i think I've done was when I Forged my mom's signature on behavior sheet in elementary school because I had gotten a "U" for unsatisfactory for talking too much in class. I kept the forgery up for about a month when my mom saw the sheet at the parrent-teacher conference, strangely I don't remember being in that much trouble for it.

I'm a horrible liar when I don't take a few seconds to prepare material, but nothing I have said comes to mind.

Iunno... lying is something I'm terrible at. I can't even keep a straight face when I'm not in trouble, let alone when I am in trouble. I suppose my worst lie is... gee, my meory is terrible.

I'm crazy good at lying...to the point that the only times I ever get caught lying (which I can count on one hand) is when someone else messes up. Even then, I'm pretty good at getting out of trouble for that lie. I go through phases when I will hang out with some friends...and as a game I will tell them about fantastic events that never happened (or do huge exaggerations) just to see if they believe me (which they do...which is amusing because one of them also claims to be incredibly good at deceiving and seeing when they are being deceived). I will say that people can get in UNBELIEVABLY HUGE amounts of trouble through lying...but I've never had that problem...so saying that just kind of seems hypocritical.

Ooo...one of my favorite lies: A friend who's in a band had a huge gig the same night of a mandatory choir concert (our senior high school one)...so we were trying to see how he could get out of it. I suggested that he tell the director that his gig was earlier and that he would barely be able to make it on time. Then I told him to call and tell me he got in a car crash...and I'd tell the choir director that. I was so convincing that I actually made the choir director think that it was his own fault for asking my friend to hurry...that he actually started to get teary eyed and told our choir to pray for my friend. I wanted to laugh so hard...but I kept a somber presence the entire night, with the occasional excusing myself to take an important call to make it look like I was the only link. After choir concert got out though...I met up with my friend's band and laughed uncontrollably till the early hours of the morning.

"I have protection"

...

what?

Hey Joe:
"I have protection"

...

what?

Ooohhh. Bad.

I think most of the lies I've told have been either forced on me, "No, it doesn't make you look fat" or misappropriations of the truth "I've already tidied my room."

I find the traditional 'Web of lies goes wrong' story we see in sitcoms and fairy tales is a little overated

'Poorly constructed web of lies goes wrong' is more like it, the thing abut lie webs is when they start to fail you simply lie some more, its a beautiful system.

My worst lie? hmmm... i tend to try and fool or mislead rather than lie... people tell me i'm a fun guy, read and see if you agree.

I once got so annoyed with the idea of getting up that i pretended to be asleep for 7 hours, but i enjoyed that and no-one got hurt.

I once told a friend i was too busy with ironing to have him come over to play Halo 3 the day it came out... in truth i was blasting my way through the single player on legendary alone and loving it.

I always use a different pen and writing style whenever signing any names list too add a fictional participant, so now about 30 organizations and groups scratch their heads over a Mr John Romero.

I like to pretend that i am a rival telemarketing company whenever a telemarketer calls me... and then try to sell them insurance.

I like to greet religious doorknockers with 'Sounds interesting, Ill go get my boyfriend' or simply without pants. Try this, they will not come by again.

I find that the best way to get ahead in ticket queues and swipe the best seats is easy... follow these simple steps.

1) Waltz past the entire line and go up the ramp to the theatre doors (our cinema has a hall of cinemas, and tickets are checked at the bottom then you stroll up and enter whatever theatre you purchased tickets for)

2) When the perspn at the ticket station calls out, turn, laugh, and excuse yourself saying your not from around here.

3) have your ticket ripped right there ahead of the 40 meter line and get best seats for the ironman premier over the jerk who sat out for hours to get that spot.

4) bask in your own wit.

Whenever friends get together i like to pretend to be a girl on sex chat sites then freak the perverts on the other end out when they ask for pics.

I like to prank call radio shows.

I like to prank call everyone else, too.

Its good to be me some days.

@ Phantom6 - as unnecessarily funny as that sign in your avatar is, I ran past a sign once and the corner of it opened a 0.25 x 3.5 x 0.5 inch gash in my left leg. I now have a nice scar because of it. I don't know why I said that; probably the bad memories of holding the rendered tissue together while my friend drove me to hospital.

Lies? Hahahaha! I'm a master of lies! The real trick to it is be short, simple and unique. When someone asks a question, answer it, and be sure to answer it in such a way that no further questions ever need to be asked. It's easy enough to mantain a web of lies (and kind of fun if your good at it), but why bother when you can have a definite begining and ending?

As for my favorite lies, I have a few.

I had a huge paper I had to turn in and I hadn't even begun it yet. I was sitting in a desk the period just before lunch which was followed by the class the paper was due. I asked my teacher if I could use her computer and she let me. I printed off the first two pages of the Great Gatsby and went to lunch. A bought a bottle of grape juice and proceeded to pour it on the first two pages of the Great Gatsby in front of my peers. I turned in the barely readable first two pages of the Great Gatsby, explained that I had spilled my drink on my paper while reading over it during lunch and these were the only pages still sort of legable ... But if she let me reprint it I could turn it in after the weekend was over. Victory was mine.

I lived in North dakota for a while (I move around a lot) and I hated the place and knew I wasn't going to stay there for very long so for my entire time spent there, I had moved to America from Devon and had been born in Nice in southern France. I only spoke pigeon French because I didn't really know my mother (she was the French one but she had stayed in Nice when dad moved back to Devon and then to Minot) but had a perfect English accent. That was a lot of fun.

I spent a two week vacation in Austin, Texas where I went by the name Austin to everyone I met. I spent a one week vacation in Las Vegas, Nevada where I went by the name Vegas to everyone I met. I spent a two week vacation in Victoria, British Columbia where I went by the name Hey to everyone I met. I was good at it too.

A novice debater once asked me at a tournement twenty minutes before her round to explain the current economic and political problems in Africa. She didn't know anything and I knew almost nothing. I invented a completely made up synopsis of African domestic affairs on the spot. She beleived me, wrote her case as I was talking with advice from me and went on to win her round. The judge commented on her ballot that he was impressed by her breadth of knowledge on the subject. I spent the next hour laughing.

One of these stories is a lie. Which one?

I think you're lying that only 1 of them is a lie.
Two of them are just way in left field, very slim chance they are true (stories 3 and 4).
The first one makes no sense, because why would you turn in the first two pages of a book as a report? That's just stupid. Even a teacher, who's been to college for at least 4 years would know what was up unless they are a total fail.
They all seem farchecth'd if you ask me. But, the second one seems the most true, because you gave more information with it, leaving less room for questions. And I know those are real cities France.

jtown89:
I think you're lying that only 1 of them is a lie.
Two of them are just way in left field, very slim chance they are true (stories 3 and 4).
The first one makes no sense, because why would you turn in the first two pages of a book as a report? That's just stupid. Even a teacher, who's been to college for at least 4 years would know what was up unless they are a total fail.
They all seem farchecth'd if you ask me. But, the second one seems the most true, because you gave more information with it, leaving less room for questions. And I know those are real cities France.

in the first one he was only using those pages to get a few more days to write the paper.

I don't have any of these deliciously complicated lies, but here are some stories anyway.

I bring outside food into theatres all the time, but this one time I got hassled, so I explained I needed it because of my blood sugar while looking mildly distressed and the lady apologized to me. (It was a pear by the way, which I'm pretty sure would be bad for your blood sugar levels)

I like to go exploring with my friends and I have a game of getting to the highest floor of a building (this is in downtown skyscrapers, by the way). I've never gotten hassled, but I have fun improvising while I'm in elevators with other people. Varying from 'Bringing my dad his pills' and talking about his growing depression to 'looking for my little brother' who is quite adamant about joining the circus. I don't think it's really trespassing if the doors are unlocked.

Rather out of the blue two of my friends and I convinced a school chum that it was pajama day on Monday. Sadly he forgot and came to school in regular garb, but on the upside he didn't notice that nobody else was wearing sleepwear. Man that kid is gullible.

when i was younger, i told a girl i was gay just so i could see her undress when she tried on new clothes, that was kinda dumb of me, and i still regret using her in such a way just cause i was extremely lonely at the time

jtown89:
I think you're lying that only 1 of them is a lie.
Two of them are just way in left field, very slim chance they are true (stories 3 and 4).
The first one makes no sense, because why would you turn in the first two pages of a book as a report? That's just stupid. Even a teacher, who's been to college for at least 4 years would know what was up unless they are a total fail.
They all seem farchecth'd if you ask me. But, the second one seems the most true, because you gave more information with it, leaving less room for questions. And I know those are real cities France.

Afraid not. The game has no secrets. There are four stories, three are truthful acts of lying and one is a falicious act of lying.

And allow me to qualify,

1) I turned in the two pages of the Great Gatsby with so much grape juice stain on them they were largely unreadable and I was betting she wouldn't try. It worked.

2) I spent seven months in North Dakota before moving away and never revealed my secret.

3) Everyone believed my fake names even when I was calling myself Hey (I had a great back story for it too. Parents were hippies and into numerology and "hey" is the Hebrew letter for "h" and the number 5, and 5 is very good numerologically and "h" is supposed to be the letter added to your name if you've recieved a blessing (Jeremy to Jeremiah. Abram to Abraham ect.))

4) She won her next round too but lost in Semi-finals where the judge called her summary of African affairs "farcical". I managed to convince her that the judge was biased and didn't know what he was talking about.

If you'd like I can PM you the answer.

I've never been a big liar (most of it was back when I was a kid, about homework, staying out late, etc) but nowadays, my most common lie is "yes, I chose to stop working so I could focus on studying". Or "No, I'm not a nerd, and I don't spend 8 hours a day on my computer". Oh, and the lies where you have no choice - "of course you don't look fat/ugly/stupid/old/etc".

i usually dont tell really serious lies like "dude, your mom is on fire" or "omg, the hamsters are taking over the world!" but the worst lie i ever told was:
"professional wrestling is real!"

TommyGun465:
"professional wrestling is real!"

That's not a lie, that's just retarded.
Unless you were, say, talking to a 5 year old.

Ultrajoe:
I like to greet religious doorknockers with 'Sounds interesting, Ill go get my boyfriend' or simply without pants. Try this, they will not come by again.

I've got that beat.

One summer I got a phonecall from a friend who lives around 15 minutes from me informing that the "god squad" were on their way round our area, so, considering roads off the main one that connects our 2 streets, I had an hour to prepare.

I dashed to a friends house, who happens to be a goth, and we got all gothed up, grabbed some death metal albums, and returned home, with the the death metal blasting, and a lump of "bloody" raw meat hanging out of my mouth, I answered the door and politely asked the jesus freaks to "fuck off before they pollute out unholy atmosphere".

They only fucked off after my parents called the police after a third night of prayer on our lawn.

They were really dedicated to the cause, and even took it in shifts, although I doubt they called the late shift the "graveyard" shift.

Hm probely the wrost lie you can tell any one "i love you". I said that to her, shagged her then broke up the day later. It was the summer after our freshamn year of highschool. Oddly enough wre now best friends.

fuck man im so sorry i didnt see waht you read befor.

taht is just horribel, well horribelly awsome.

I mean ive doen the pants thign hell i even got anoth guy friend of mine to awnser to the door naked with me but i never would have thought that up.

A jehova's witness gave me a pamphlet, so I allowed him to talk a while to see how far he would take it and why everyone complains plus I had nothing better to do fir about 20 minutes while my pizza was in the oven. After a while the buzzer went off and I huried back in, saying I'd be right back. I wouldn't. I ate the pizza (the whole thing) played some tf2, then went to a friends. He stood out there for about 15 minutes before he left, I wasn't being rude, he didn't have the common courtesy to let me eat in peace and by the time I was done, he was gone! Oh, well he bored me to tears.

worst lie though? "I didn't kill him!" (joke)

I lie alot, I;m good at it. They're mostly harmless lies, for about a month I hid verious things around the house (like my dads stereo in hte bathroom cabinet, or my moms crockpot in the entertainment center) and convinced them I had no part in it, even funding some myself to take the blame off. I did this at my friends and neigbours too. I've told my mom that me and my girlfriend hadn't even kissed yet and had done nothing sexual....which was....way off. She beleived me.

Lazzi:
Hm probely the wrost lie you can tell any one "i love you". I said that to her, shagged her then broke up the day later. It was the summer after our freshamn year of highschool. Oddly enough wre now best friends.

Precisely what I said... but with more spelling mistakes ;-)

MRMIdAS2k:

Ultrajoe:
I like to greet religious doorknockers with 'Sounds interesting, Ill go get my boyfriend' or simply without pants. Try this, they will not come by again.

I've got that beat.

One summer I got a phonecall from a friend who lives around 15 minutes from me informing that the "god squad" were on their way round our area, so, considering roads off the main one that connects our 2 streets, I had an hour to prepare.

I dashed to a friends house, who happens to be a goth, and we got all gothed up, grabbed some death metal albums, and returned home, with the the death metal blasting, and a lump of "bloody" raw meat hanging out of my mouth, I answered the door and politely asked the jesus freaks to "fuck off before they pollute out unholy atmosphere".

They only fucked off after my parents called the police after a third night of prayer on our lawn.

They were really dedicated to the cause, and even took it in shifts, although I doubt they called the late shift the "graveyard" shift.

I like that, but it does require rather more thought than a quick de-pantsing.