I live on the Mississippi (god that's fun to spell) river and theres a steep hill going down to everyone's dock. My friend ahd one fo those plastic jumps you buy at Shopko or whatever. He pu it at the end of a dock. At the bottom of a steep hill about 10-15 feet down till the water/dock. We were riding our bokes down the hill and off the jump, into teh water, and draging the bikes out fo the water and up the hill to do it again. Weren't we a smart bunch. Well turns out one of my friends still had one of those razor scooters. You remember those? They were cool for about a month. yea. Well I volenteerred to go off the jump with it. I got off to a slow start seeing as those things were barely meant to go on the road let aloen grass. I hit the dock, the well just wedged between it in the ground and I flew forward onto the dock. Fun fun.

Years ago I nicked my thumb against the engine fan in my Jeep while doing some work on it, while the engine was running. I have a nice scar on the joint of my thumb now to remind to think harder before doing stupid things.

Luckily the only damage was the scar, and a lot of pain. By all rights I probably should have 9 fingers.

Dumbest that left a scar was probably installing new mufflers beneath a car at night without a light. Splitting the coupling to slide over the new muffler I sawed about 1/4" through the side of my thumb with a hacksaw. Didn't hurt, but it felt kind of funny and all of a sudden everything was wet. When I climbed out all these long white shreds of flesh were hanging out through my thumbnail and I'm bloody all over. Finally ended up cutting the shreds off flush with the nail with fingernail clippers. That bloody well hurt. Took two decades for that scar to fade away.

Dumbest and most entertaining near-injury was pruning branches in an apple or pear tree (I forget now) with a short-handled brush ax. I was trying to cut through a limb and having a hard time because it was so springy, so in anger I wound up and gave it a mighty whack which cut through not only the intended branch, but also the lower branch I was standing on. The upper branch I was holding with my left hand held just long enough to give me an interesting cartwheeling motion before breaking off, although it did give me enough time to fling the brush ax. After running around in circles dodging falling brush ax, sheared limbs, and me, my cousins made great fun of me, acting out seemingly endless imitations of my gyrations and screams on the way down. I got away with bruises and scrapes, though.

Close seconds would be unloading my radial saw by myself and discovering all about leverage and gravity, and falling from the top of a cedar tree and discovering how striking every limb on the way down can deposit you (relatively) safely on the ground from thirty feet up...

I've got two, and both involve my dad. When I was five, he took me to fencing class with him...I noticed that it looked fun, and not having anyone else of my size to play with, I decided to indulge in a little "shadow fencing". Long story short, I just had to pick the part of the wall with an electrical outlet in it. I don't remember a whole hell of a lot after hitting the socket, but I do remember my dad very abruptly stopping laughing and saying to my mother "Please don't hurt me." Seriously.

And the other one was only a few years ago. My dad and my stepmom have a house that's kind of perched on the verge of a wooded ravine. Well, the house isn't, but the yard is. So anyway, it's dusk and I'm out in the backyard with the stupid terrier, and I'm standing there, waiting for the dog to be ready to go back inside and then suddenly, I'm on the ground and in pain and having trouble breathing. And something pretty big is stumbling, falling, squealling and having trouble breathing. And the dog's gone nuts. I look up, and see that Bambi's fucking daddy has popped up from the ravine and slammed right into me. I had four cracked ribs, but what really sucked is that the nurses in the emergency room couldn't keep from giggling.

1: A friend of mine was showing me a new pocketknife, and I decided to test how sharp it was. With my finger. It was indeed sharp. No lasting injuries, it was just really stupid.

2: When I was 3 or 4, my family was visiting an aquarium. I was cold because of all the fans they kept around to keep the fish at the right temperature, and somehow reasoned that if I stuck my finger into one of the huge, high powered fans, it would stop. It didn't, but the tour did. Now it's evolved into a joke. If I can't get something to work everyone suggests I stick my finger in it and hope for the best.

3: I was biking around (I live in the mountains, so I get some pretty steep hills) and was going top speed downhill on a very tight curve for some reason. I realized too late that it was too tight to make, and I jammed on my brakes too fast and they started skidding. I ran off the road, into a low ditch on the side, went onto someone's driveway horizontally, hit a 6 inch tall curb on the other side, and went flying. I only got a few scratches and bruises, but after getting up I realized I had just landed in conclusive evidence that the homeowner had a dog.

4: 6 years old and visiting a farm, I decided to touch the electric fence (directly after having been warned not to) to see what it felt like. I never found out, as I immediately blacked out. I came to 3 feet away from the fence with no injuries and a fear of electric fences.

5: When I was 5 I somehow got myself stuck in a revolving cupboard. I was stuck there screaming for hours. They eventually had to cut me out.

Well, the most ridiculous injury I've ever had was when I fell off a three-foot wall, but managed to catch my arm on it all the way down. When I take a look at my arm afterwards, there happens to be a cut running pretty much the whole length of my left lower arm. I only wish I had a scar for that one.

Then there was the time that I was playing softball in secondary school, and I go to catch the ball. Bad idea, because I can't catch to save my skin - literally. The ball hits me square in the middle of the throat. Cue about thirty seconds of half-choking from me and raucous laughter from everybody else. Luckily, I happen to be very good at poking fun at myself, so that one is one I'm very willing to remember.

Then there was the time that I got knocked down by a car, which I believe in retrospect was pretty much my fault. It was only travelling about ten miles an hour, so I pretty much just bounced off. Everybody was really concerned, but in my delirium, I was willing to go through with the games session that followed. Realising how ridiculous this was, the teacher sent me up to the matron immediately.

In one of those great ironies of my life, like the fact that I can install Debian Linux in anywhere up to one-tenth of the time it takes to install Windows (current length record of six days for Windows!), I played rugby union but never picked up any serious injuries. Seriously.

dropped a brick on my big toe breaking it and losing the nail
slashed my thumb open with a chisel in woodwork
dancing on ice as a kid - faceplant! squinted my teeth, slashed my gums and screwed up my nose (not broken surprisingly)

*strains brain*
Well, I don't get injured much. I'm normally the guy saying,"I told you so," before dailing 999.
My worst one was when I dived to get a cicket ball and ended up in a heap with the umpire. No injuries, but it was embarrasing.
Oh, and I belt-sanded a knuckle off once. It grew back though.

This reminds me of a video, 2 actually: indoors and outdoors.

Mine was probably when jumped onto a couch covered in broken glass. There's not really a story behind that, just to make it weirder.

I'm usually the one causing the accident. Broke a kid's arm once in a mock judo match on a sofa. Punched my best friend in the face trying to show off our great jeet kune do skills.

:( on both occasions I'm pretty sure that I was damaged the most.

Oh, I have a good one where I get hurt too: I was at a fair with my dad, and there was this game where you used a sledgehammer to hit a metal see-saw that launches a frog on an island and you get a prize. When he pulled his hammer back I happened to be right behind him. I was about six years old at the time, but I still was diabolical enough to shame him into buying me a toy.

That's something I'm not really proud of either. Luckily I still have the scar to remember my darkest moment by.

Hmmm stupid injuries I have a few, like a centimeter long scar in on the palm of my hand. Whittling goes wrong I guess. Tiny knife enters palm I think OW! my mother panics and phones an ambulance purely because the blood from the palm of my hand, this tiny gash I have hit me in the face and covered the wall behind me. I wouldn't mind but the paramedic was so patronizing and insisted on "putting a plaster on my boo boo." What a douche.

I also hate hospitals I fell over when I was little and hit my head mum says I should go to hospital to be checked out I run off and in the mad dash away from her I ended up breaking four fingers, my wrist and, oh yeah actually knocking myself out waking up in casualty not happy. ((Edit spelling))

I tried to flip an almost shoulder high fence once, and while in mid air, I thought, "wow, this is really cool, I can do this slowly, put one hand up and throw my body through... like a gymnast", as soon as my left hand left the rail, I crashed into the fence, the top of the fence hit me right across the stomach, I hang on that rail for a long long time, paralysed with pain, and with a dislocated right shoulder, not able to get off. Looked like a real idoit. Good job there wasn't anyone around though.

goodman528:
I tried to flip an almost shoulder high fence once, and while in mid air, I thought, "wow, this is really cool, I can do this slowly, put one hand up and throw my body through... like a gymnast", as soon as my left hand left the rail, I crashed into the fence, the top of the fence hit me right across the stomach, I hang on that rail for a long long time, paralysed with pain, and with a dislocated right shoulder, not able to get off. Looked like a real idoit. Good job there wasn't anyone around though.

How did you get down?

I was in my dad's barn and I was in a hurry to get somewhere, so I made the stupid decision to run. I ran into some boards and a piece of wood got stabbed into my leg and broke off under the skin. I had to visit the ER to get it out, which turned into a half an hour of the doctor cutting and digging around in my leg to get it out, which just made the wound bigger. Yeah, I've got a scar now.

I was in the woods with my friends and we were fighting with sticks, and I swung a log into a branch on a tree that looked breakable. Instead of breaking the branch, the log bounced off and hit me in the mouth. So I got pissed off at the branch and did it again, sure that this time it would break. Instead of breaking the branch, the log bounced off and hit me in the mouth. :P

me and my friend sat together in geography class. It was so boring one day my friend snapped his protractor in half for fun. The stupid part was i told him he could try and cut me with it (I didn't think it was that sharp). I now have 3 scars along the back of my wrist.

1. When I was 5, I thought that once a burner on the stove was no longer red, it wasn't hot anymore and decided to put my left hand on it to find out. Luckily I ended up with a first degree burn on the palm of my hand and a new respect for things that are hot.

2. Another one when I was young, I used to LOVE to run around, especially under table corners. That stopped when I woke up next to the table and my forehead hurt, luckily only my mom saw it. :)

3. I was in P.E. in elementary school, and for some reason, the teacher had us do handstands. I finally successfully did one, only for my arms to give out and I landed squarely on my head, spraining my neck. To add insult to injury, everyone saw and laughed, thinking I was faking it.

4. In highschool chemistry class, my friend and I were bored, so we started sword fighting. With pencils. Let's just say I still have the graphite in my left hand 8 years later.

not really about me, going camping with the boy scouts and learning how to cut wood with a axe my instructor cut off his thumb.

Ever had your body do something that it can't really explain to your brain, so you don't understand how or why you did it? Once I ran through a doorway, and for some reason turned right until I was facing the opposite direction (without stopping) and thus ran directly into the wall. That was the only occasion on which I've ever broken any bones (two toes... ouch).

Once I jumped down the bottom third of the stairs (as is my custom) and landed on an old 80's VCR with a metal top. Nasty sprain on my ankle.

Finally, a friend of mine once pushed me into a car, causing my head to hit the top of the doorway and be knocked down at a 90-degree angle. That was the only time in my life I've ever been in enough pain to make me physically cry out (as in yell, not sob) without being able to stop myself. Not an incident of "hurting myself," but still incredibly painful.

I blanked out while nailing the frame of a table together in school with a nail gun, i nailed my hand to 900mm by 200mm by 30mm of pine. the hardest part was when they had to cut down the wood so i could be take to the hospital. If this ever happens to you, the pain goes away quickly and if you have broken any bones you can move you fingers, I must of made 7 people vomit by waving at them.

Eh, I have worked on building a room in a house and so far the stupidest thing that I have done to hurt myself is dropping a center block on my finger. No breaks no nothing. I have helped put a floor in a room, A roof over head. And then I go and drop a fucking heavy centerblock on my finger.

one day i was skateboarding and a buddy of mine was like alright you have to jump over the top of this hill, over the railing and land 50 ft. down. well, let's just say it wasn't the best of my choices. ended up going into the ER for a broken ankle and arm. couldn't skate for at least 5 months.

superjoe89:
one day i was skateboarding and a buddy of mine was like alright you have to jump over the top of this hill, over the railing and land 50 ft. down. well, let's just say it wasn't the best of my choices. ended up going into the ER for a broken ankle and arm. couldn't skate for at least 5 months.

50 ft down would have killed you. Hell more then 16 ft you have a chance of dieing.

Was climbing under an electric fence with my cousin, he was holding a piece of wood over the bottom wire to keep it from popping up and hitting me, also creating a nice big hole to climb through... he lost his grip, my leg got tangled in an electric fence. Awesome.

Once in my youth I was hanging upside down from the A-frame of a jungle gym with my legs with my ever vigilant father's arms outstretched in case I fell. I decided to test his hand speed, he wasn't fast enough. Never trust in the reaction time of old people as a scar under my chin reminds me.

when i was younger i was playing with some friends on a construction site next to my house (the builders went bankrupt so it looked looked like ruins) we were playing tag on the walls.............. luckily i didn't fall on the large iron pole's but on hardened cement. I woke up 3-5 min later and my back really hurt

A few years ago i tried to do a backflip, you know, for fun. But I figured it'd be difficult, so I jumped off a tiny trampoline, so that I could get better height. Landed on my head and almost broke my neck.

And you would think that would deter me from backflipping right? But last year I was standing in between two vertical poles, and the idea was to grab on to both and spin over backwards, like a backflip. I had done it before successfully, but sure enough, the one time when everyone was watching, I stacked it and landed on my head.

When I was about 7, I decided it would be fun to hold a piece of tissue paper over a lit candle, and I ended up setting my hand on fire and burning a small pile of old clothes and a few of my sister's barbies when I dropped the tissue. I had to have it bandaged for a few weeks, and when it came off, my skin was all black and browned where I had burned it, but it peeled right off and my hand was soon back to normal. Mostly.....

As a young kid, I once had a skateboard. Just to try it out, I got on it on my hands and knees. I picked up some speed and suddenly the front wheels got stuck in a crack in the pavement. Amazingly, I still have all my teeth.

My grandaunt has a dog. She (I think) was attacked by a crazed old man's dog, the other dog was big, she was little. So, from that day, my grandaunt's dog is like, mad. He's attacks people on some occasions and stuff. He slept near my feet when I was there at some point, but my grandaunt warned me, that the place under the sofa was like, her private place. I wanted to give him some toy she left behind, and crouched to throw it there, and thet that crazy son of a motherfu*ker jumped on me, and chewed on my nipples. :D Not really, but jumped and bit my stomach. Now I have a little scar there. Come to think of it, where is my shotgun and my tranquilizers? Nah.

Oh, and I had the same thing with the paper thing. I used a napkin, from the same material as toilet papers, and hold it on top of a candle. When it started burning, I started panicking (misspelling I believe) and ran to my mom, in her bedroom, where she was ironing clothes, and I still held it. And, unbelievably, me with my retarded mind didn't throw it in the sink. Ofcourse my mom threw it there. God, I was dumb. But I didn't get burned much, so that was a fortunate case.

When I was a young-in I didn't kow what a wasp was. I thought ti was a huge mosquito and just wacked the thing with my palm.

ok im goign to be blunt. Take a ten year old me and a spiny lobster, enough said.

Well i'm going to name 2 times where i have hurt myself.

1. I was cutting open a tennis ball with my hunting knife. (stupidest tool for the job i know) and at the point where i was just starting my mum yelled at me... I flinched and the knife slipped and went 2/3rds of the way though the tip of my middle finger on my right hand. Then 2 hours and 2 doctors later i had a very sore hand with the tip glued on with superglue.

2. School camping trip me and 3 mates took a shortcut across a field and just as we were thinking how smart we were. We literally walked into a bush...well it wasn't so much a bush as a pile of old barbed wire in a hole... me and my friend got deep cuts all up our legs and arms.

Your garden variety garden tool accidents!
See:
-Chainsaw
-Lawnmower
-Hedge clippers
-Hoe
-Shovel

And many many more!

me and my family were destroying our kitcheen in order to make it better ...
we took of nailed plank and i walked into one
When i think about it i laugh

also when playing football at my highschool (2 accident)

1
I dont really remember about that one... the only think i remember is that my right little finger was broken... i discovered it when i was in gym class... my freaking finger was blue and purple... It still havent been replace... its my treasure ... like my finger had a hump hahah!

2
i remember this one... o my god soo crazy
we (me and some mate) were playing football outside at winter (i live in canada and in winter there is Snow!)
Anyway when playing football on snow it become slipery and i slipped on the head of one of my friend and (not litteraly) exploded my nose
i was covered in blood... i didnt replace that one either...

HAHAH epic

and a last one

my brother (when he was 2 or 3) drank an 7-up... but my father but some strong alcool in it... after one drank he started crying!