WoW addict farms glass for teh lewt.

The glass is a spy! Ignite it to be sure :P

The surrealist finishes polishing their artichoke.

British edition

A labour supporter takes half the glass for his welfare programme.
A conservative takes the whole glass and sells it to his buddies for 2 pence and £1,500,000,000 'special expenses'
A lib dem never gets the glass, because nobody knows who they are.
Monster raving loony party see the glass, and immediately order more drinks for everyone.
The BNP blames the half-fullness of the glass on immigrants.
UKIP does the same, then tries to sidle away from the BNP.
The Pakistanis demand the goverment buys them a new glass.
The Geordies drain the glass and hit you in the face with it.
The scots do the same, only they burn the bar down around you.
The Irish don't ask such patently silly questions, prefering to simply down the glass and debate on who to terrorise next.
The scouse steals the glass.
Terry Pratchet makes a funny analogy about the glass, and you all die laughing.
Winston Churchil declares 'We will fight for the freedom of the glass'.
Lloyd George gives the glass a pension.
Margaret Thatcher takes it away.
George Galloway condemns America for waging war unjustly against the glass.
The SAS kill the glass, simply on principle.
The Welsh do such unspeakable things to the glass it's glad it's dead.
The Met arrest the glass for hanging a union jack out of it's house.
Shortly thereafter, the BBC has the glass released, lauded and given a big shiny medal as 'A hero of the British people.'

More coming shortly.

OK, let me repeat myself, stay away from some fo the more offensive stuff.
Also, it's rather funny how no one has an opinion on whether the glass is half full or half empty or other.

A medevil person thinks a which stole the rest of the *whatever is in the glass*

I'm an engineer, so I see the glass at 50% efficiency, and write a project to raise the efficiency.

the monopoly guy:
Also, it's rather funny how no one has an opinion on whether the glass is half full or half empty or other.

Because it is clearly half empty.

Why is the glass half empty?
Because a Spy was sippin' it!

Get it? Sipping? Instead of sapping? Comic genius, people.

wgreer25:
I'm an engineer, so I see the glass at 50% efficiency, and write a project to raise the efficiency.

Why don't you just fill it? You're a crummy engineer. ;P

A poet, recently seeing the Dark Knight, realizes that glass and water rhymes with massive slaughter.

Johnn Johnston:
A lawyer sees only half the opportunites to sue.

A good lawyer then goes on to lead a class-action lawsuit "on behalf of the victims" against any and every entity that may be responsible for half of the contents of the glass having been unjustly denied to the populace that wanted full glasses. What was in the glass and whether the glass was indeed half empty as opposed to half full is dismissed as immaterial, the sternographer is instructed to strike it from the record, and the jury is asked to disregard all testimony related to whether or not the glass is actually half empty or half full.

The lawyer makes millions, the class of "victims" each gets $1.37, and the lawyer then goes on to work as a lobbyist for the glass industry in favor of Congressional mandates stating that a glass must be "x" high by "y" wide and hold "z" amount of a substance.

the monopoly guy:

Also, it's rather funny how no one has an opinion on whether the glass is half full or half empty or other.

Why can't it be both?

j-e-f-f-e-r-s:

the monopoly guy:

Also, it's rather funny how no one has an opinion on whether the glass is half full or half empty or other.

Why can't it be both?

who said it couldn't?

US Edition - glass of milk
A Democrat sees the glass as half empty due to the rich oppressing the poor; only immediate government action can ensure that everyone gets the same half glass of milk.

A Republican sees the glass as half full and demands to know who stole half his milk; only if the government gets out of the way will the glass ever be full again.

A Libertarian sees the level of the glass as irrelevant and demands to know why he can't have pot with his milk; stupid Fascist government.

A Green sees the glass as half full and demands to know who raped a cow.

Becoming Insane:
An engineer says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

Well it is dammit!

Unknower:
A Hammerite praises Master Builder for the wondrous glass.

Keepers think all is in balance. They choose not to take action.

<3 Thief

The equestrian gives it to her horse but can't make it drink.

The divorced man complains incessantly about how his ex-wife got half of his water.

The environmentalist checks the water quality and then points out the glass would be full if agribusiness didn't violate water use regulations all the time.

The glass is always full and empty, as proved by simple (and totally wrong) maths.

Glass: 1/2 E = 1/2 F;
Ergo: E = F;

Empty = Full, the universal matrix that was once the glass collapses, creating something worse than a black hole.

A 4chan member sees the glass and draws boobies on a picture of it.
A comedian will make a joke about an inefficient bartender
A paranoid person would accuse others of drinking it
A smart ass will try to convince you that the glass is liquid. In which case you hit him round the head with the glass and ask him if it felt like a liquid

conqueror Kenny:
A 4chan member sees the glass and draws boobies on a picture of it.

No, a 4chan member pours it out in front of a child dying of thirst and proceeds to beat said child with the glass while taking pictures. Then a few weeks later someone posts it and a new fetish is born.

I think the glass is a entity DOUBLE THE SIZE trying to contain the pure, unsullied water whilst mocking it. And the water can't escape because it knows no other place to exist rather than falling as tears.

...or so my analyst says.

A true gamer does not see the glass.

A paraniod thinks the glass is mocking and confusing him, daring him to guess whether it's half full or half empty

Not exactly on topic, but somewhere along the same lines.

The optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears this is true.

A John Galt finds out how to best exploit the glass's natural reserves of water without getting caught by the EPA.

a smart-arse says: if it was filled, then half removed, its half empty.
if it was empty and filled half way, its half full.

EDIT: Ah damn it, i really need to start reading all the previous posts before i post mine

I prefer to see the glass half-full. To me it implies that someone filled part of my glass. Half-empty on the other hand, implies that someone took half of your liquid. Then, I would try to find out who took my liquid, which would breed anger, which would cause confusion, which would cause unnecesary destruction. That's my take on it, well at least at the moment.

conqueror Kenny:

A smart ass will try to convince you that the glass is liquid. In which case you hit him round the head with the glass and ask him if it felt like a liquid

Gold.

A 360 owner wonders if he'll get the "half-assed" achievement for doing half the job.

A SeaCalMaster attempts to analyze the liquid in the glass. Upon discovering that it is glorious vodka, he then drinks it all and smashes it on his head, requiring a trip to the hospital where he attempts to have sex with everyone there.

the monopoly guy:
Also, it's rather funny how no one has an opinion on whether the glass is half full or half empty or other.

The glass is completely full, of course. Or is there a vacuum in the upper half of the glass?

The glass wonders about how it got to half empty (or half full) but then remembers that it could not have wondered how it got half capacity because of the lack of a brain.

zebubble:

TheNecroswanson:

zebubble:

TheNecroswanson:
A Gordon Freeman sees it. That's all.

Can you explain what the heck that means ("Sounds like something the vorts would say")

Edit: Nevermind, I think he was referring to the fact that Gordon never talks >_<

Actually you hit the nail ont he head with the Vorts.

Haha, ok. That makes sense. My other theory works too though.

No no no! Vortigaunts would never use contractions! "The Freeman sees it. That is all."

/geek

The true question lies not in whether the glass is half-full or half-empty, but in who is buying the next round?

to quote bill bailey what is in the glass? is it liquid maybe gravel? perhaps beetroot, prawns, maybe blood, is it used in a sacrificial context?

It's half empty, no one fills the glass halfway.

Did you guys hear about the optimist who drowned in the half full tub?

I toss the water out and beat the barman to death for not filling it with beer.