Sitting at your Comp right now, if the Undead starting swarming in through the main entrance, what (real world) items do you have to aid in your defence? And what is your exit strategy?

1. I'd grab the huge 4-cell torch under my bed for clobber time, there's a fire extinguisher on my landing that could back a wallop but would the spray be of any use?

2. I'd avoid the knives in my kitchen and being in an apartment I don't have any garden tools.The window next to my PC has a balcony beneath it that I could jump to the roof of my car.

3. Realise I forgot my keys and get devoured.

(Edit:)
Just to clarify for peoples's responses:

Zombies are slow & shambling but vast in number (streets littered with them)
Severe Brain trauma is the only thing that kills em
Zombies can unnaturally sense where the living are, i.e.if you are the last person on earth at the North Pole, zombies at the South Pole will start making their way towards you.
Only being bitten, or mauled ALOT will turn you, Blood sprays are icky, but thats it.
Animals bitten by, or feeding on zombies will turn, so undead walking along the bottom of the ocean to get to you will eventually get nibbled by meat eaters then swim off to hunt their own living kind.
Military/Police unorganised (no change there then) so no city purging bomb drops.
Angelina Jolie will not accept the current predicament as an excuse to repopulate the earth.

Before I answer this, I'm going to have to know weather were talking about traditional slow-moving zombies, or 28 days later/left 4 dead snarling marathon runners.

Well, I'd be screwed, I'm on the third floor with no fire escape, so I'm zombie food...having said that, I'm also ash if there's a fire, still, can't win em all!

On the bright side, I do have a bunch of heavy stuff near the front door at the moment, so I imagine I could cause quite a pile up on the stairs at least, flinging stuff down onto the horde.

You've made me want to get one of those fire ladder things now tho, that you can unroll out of a window in case of emergency.

arcstone:
Before I answer this, I'm going to have to know weather were talking about traditional slow-moving zombies, or 28 days later/left 4 dead snarling marathon runners.

Interesting, lets go Romero for this one. Shambling but vast in number...& hungry!

My zombie escape plan would be to horde together as many sharp or club-like objects as I can carry, fight my way out through the front door and find a rag tag group of survivors, from there...we, we'd have a plan!

Sat in work, I think I'd not have much chance of getting away...

I could try the window, jump out into the smoking area, avoid the inevitable flood of zombies, in the smoking area... they smoke, they'd not be able to get away fast enough, having to finish their smoke and putting it out before even attempting to run, the zombies would just eat them up... if I managed to get to the car, with my brother.. Who's car it is... otherwise I'd never be able to drive... then I'd have to some how get out of an industrial park, with people panicing, trying to escape in their 18 wheelers and the hords of zombies...... so really my chances of escape are very very slim... with no real weapons to hand either as I look around the room... maybe my monitor, it's large, and quite light to carry... but it'd probably only survive one slaying...

Now if I was at home it would be another story... weapons are in the shed, by weapons I mean, Spade/shovel/garden fork... the usual stuff.. and as the "Main entrance" that people use is the back one, then the garden is out of the question... escape through the front would be pretty useless as well... so I'd head upstairs... close the baby gate, they're dead and dumb, they'd never be able to open something as complicated as that baby gate... it stops everyone who ever enters the house and tries to use the loo, and the stairs would make a great bottle neck for the zombies, allowing us to take out the one at a time as they climbed the stairs.. and got stuck at the gate... as for weapons, I'd break apart the beds and use the wooden planks as weapons, chair legs and the such could also be used... including very heavy computers and stuff, matrices could be used to block the stairs as well, as well as hiding my daughter and her mother upstairs in the attic, as they'd be relatively safe up their as it takes either a big ladder, or some very handy footwork and jumping to get up their otherwise...

thats my survival plan, although escape would be alot harder...

Copypasta'd my answer from a similar (in fact, identical) discussion:

"The local military base is probably my best bet too, and although we're far from the best equipped base we have a good hundred odd rifles and twenty odd machine guns plus a few 66 sets (disposable one-shot RPGs), so all we'd need to do is round up everyone from the local reserve battalion and we'd be more than capable of handling a zombie invasion. Our biggest problems would be food (we have ration packs, but only about two weeks worth without ordering in more), and there's a mall about a kilometre or so away, and ammo, in which case we'll break out the bayonets and cricket bats. If we had a bit more time, we'd get some more explosives and claymores from the support battalion across the river."

(Yeah, I'm a soldier, which puts me in pretty good standing to survive this one.)

Zombies are basically capable of little more movement than shuffling about and are not the most coordinated of the undead. This means that they can't go up staircases without bashing their brains out with every step. I live in an urban area where everything is multiple floors and all the buildings are connected. there is a deli every two blocks if I need food. and it starts to become a little bit less like night of the living dead and more like dead rising.

arcstone:
Before I answer this, I'm going to have to know weather were talking about traditional slow-moving zombies, or 28 days later/left 4 dead snarling marathon runners.

Also does getting sprayed with zombie blood make you turn into a zombie? (as seen in 28 days later)

If it doesn't I'd just grab the katanas hanging on my wall above my bed and start slicin'
If the blood is indeed toxic, I'd wanna avoid any sharp objects as they could potentially lead to a spray of blood in my face. If they were just coming in my front door, I'd just jump out through my window and start running! (it's a maybe 2 meter drop from my window to the ground so that wouldn't be a problem.)

Oh and in terms of weapons, Crowbar. Possibly two Crowbars? There is a well stocked mechanic within two blocks of me and a well stocked handyman two doors down and I could get in there from his roof as all the buildings are connected.

Oh and one more post this just came to mind a second ago, there is a store that sells authentic weapons four blocks away from me. BATTLEAXE! Dreched in blood, rending the undead in twain and singing Stephen Lynch over the sounds of destruction, good times.

Souplex:
Oh and one more post this just came to mind a second ago, there is a store that sells authentic weapons four blocks away from me. BATTLEAXE!

Keep in mind that if it's zombies like those in 28 days later, a drop of blood in your mouth, eyes or an open wound means you're a zombie within 30 seconds...

But trying to keep things more fun, I'd like to think that the zombies ain't like the super-zombies from 28 days later.
Which means I'd go medieval on their ass with my katanas... (yeah, it's like that... ;P)

EDIT: also in case anyone wondered, my katanas are not some stainless steel replicas, they're made out of high-carbon steel, designed to be fully functional.

Grab my iPod. Go to my garage and grab a Sledgehammer. Put iPod on and start my Music To Fight To playlist. Grin like a maniac. Start doing whatever feels natural.

well, luckily the cabinet my dad keeps the shotguns in is in my room. I'd have to pop out quickly to get the key but it's not too far away. so yeah. I'm fine rest of my family's fucked though.

as I'm currently at the office on thr 5th floor over looking a parking lot I'm pretty much screwed and my only self defence would be an array of pens, pencils, and stapler. So I will instead pretend I'm at home.

my computer is in the basement right next to the beer fridge, which also has frozen meats, So I will take those and throw them toward the stairs, which would hopefully confuse them long enough for me to reach the safety of the work shop stocked with all sorts of wonderfull sharp objects amomgst which include: axe, a hactchet, surprisingly a machette, and an old accetlene torch.

This is where I'll try to get out of the basement via window, but will probably fail due to great big iron bars. So instead I'll make a heroic last stand, and at the last second throw the torch onto the furnace's oil tank taking as many as I can with me and going out in a blaze, if not particulary full of glory.

I think I'd be in quite a pickle.

I'm on the second floor of my house, and here upstairs there's nothing I could effectivly use as a weapon, except perhaps a bottle of scotch :S.
In addition, the staircase leading down is just a couple of feet from the main entrances, so that would be flooded with walking dead at this point.

I think my plan would be to hang from my window-ledge and drop down to the stair leading up to one of the entrances, which is directly beneath it. From there, I'd run like a maniac to the garage and retrieve some of the poles, crowbars etc that my has lying down there. And of course the old sabre hanging on the wall in the next room.

From there I'd have to fight my way up the stairs to the other entrance and retrieve the keys to the car on my driveway, fight my way out and then make my escape.

My chances of me pulling this off, however, are pretty slim :P

I dont think I have too many weapons laying around.... *looks around* lets see, theres an axe in the garage but it will likely get stuck in a corpse, theres this big metal pipe thing I could use like a staff but it will get tiring to wield, and I dont think my dad has a gun laying around (but he can bench press 360 lbs so that might be useful) and I cant drive yet so no gta for me. I guess my only option is to hide in the basement and hope to god they dont open the door, if they do, I guess I can chuck my 11 cats at them for 1 point of slashing/piercing damage per cat thrown, but zombies dont die from bleeding now do they?

hmmm, I need to invest on some weaponry...

Since i'm a superb actor i would just to walk funny, make strange noises and generally act stupid. Then i would blend into the crowd and kill all the people i hate and eat their brains then i would strangle the zombies one by one while thet're not looking. Hitman style! (the real hitman from the games that is, not the timothy ollyfant version, actually he would be on the deathlist along with the other people that made that movie)

Seen Shaun Of The Dead anyone? :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOlznuyPOeM

Actually forget all my well forged plans, I live in New York. The first zombie will be full of lead in five minutes at max.
Besides, it wouldn't be so bad.

http://www.theaterhopper.com/index.php?date=20050624

You think I'm revealing my plans!?

I know better than that, Fangface is clearly a death cultist wanting to porepare counter-stragegies for the coming apocalypse!

Well, one of my back-up plans is to challenge the zombies to a game of scrabble with my life on the line. They won't have the tiles to put down "Gragggghhlle!!!!!" so I think I'll comfortably win.

metagaia:
You think I'm revealing my plans!?

I know better than that, Fangface is clearly a death cultist wanting to porepare counter-stragegies for the coming apocalypse!

Well, one of my back-up plans is to challenge the zombies to a game of scrabble with my life on the line. They won't have the tiles to put down "Gragggghhlle!!!!!" so I think I'll comfortably win.

Zombies are cheaters. They'd so look at your rack.

Anyways - half of you would die. Running outside with fragile items and no plan does not a solution make. A close friend of mine who lives a couple minutes drive away from me has a rifle. I'd grab my shovel (I have no swords, besides, you have to realize most are replicas and break easily; plus aluminum bats bend and wooden ones break), a whole lot of gatorade and powerbars (just to fuel me for the run there), siphon a couple gallons of gas from cars on my block and put it into a jerry can and run to him, and most importantly, grab Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide. My load should only be 45 pounds (including the jerry can), and I'm an expert hiker, so I'd make it there within a half an hour. Suck on that.

metagaia:
You think I'm revealing my plans!?

I know better than that, Fangface is clearly a death cultist wanting to porepare counter-stragegies for the coming apocalypse!

The Hour of Retribution is at hand my Brethren!

er...I mean The Zombies are old school, no blood infection, unless you pop one's head like a pez dispenser and take a hearty glug.

Tree house, Zombies can't climb :)

I'm a black belt and martial artist enthusist(meaning my room is covered top to bottom with hidden weapons) and since a lot of them are blunt weapons, they work best on those suckers. that and my whole family is a band of fighters(my moms a black belt who fought in the SEA games, my little brother is a brown belt and every one else is handy with any thing they can get their hand on). plus we can just toss fire extinguisher at em and the pressure would probably blow it up. and other stuff I can't type right now because these zombies are really bothering me("STOP POSTING AND HELP US ALREADY" "urrrggh" *splat, gurgle, gurgle*)

Fangface74:
The Zombies are old school, no blood infection, unless you pop one's head like a pez dispenser and take a hearty glug.

Then I guess I'd turn those poor zombies into mince meat...
And after I've cleared any zombies in my vicinity, make my way to a group of other survivors.

asiepshtain:
Tree house, Zombies can't climb :)

Zombies can't climb, but if enough of them find you they'll make a flesh ramp to you...

Me, I've got a machete, a crowbar, my emergency supply box (food, water etc) and my trusty hunting crossbow... and shot gun.
Plan.
1) Go to friend's house, built like a NRA fortress
2) Beer
3) Zombie 'sploding time
4) In case of Z-day Apocalypse, suicide bomb for fun times.

Zombies are by definition walking corpses, meaning everything slowly deteriorates without their bodies making new cells to fix it. If you can hole up for at least a week all after the initail surge kills the unprepared and stupid there should only be a handful of effective zombies.

I aints' afraids of no quadraplegic corpse, Stinky though they may be.

M0rp43vs:
my room is covered top to bottom with hidden weapons

There are weapons from floor to ceiling but you can't see any of them?

Anyway, weren't the Martial Arts developed purely with living adversary's in mind? I think you and your kick ass family would need to develop the first Undead countering form (heavy on knockback blows, limb breaking, nothing whatsoever to with moves that cause pain etc...Necro-Fu maybe?

well i technically have a several.

plan I "kill plan"
1. grab guns from safe and an axe if i can get one
2. go to the roof of the old school building (the only building above 4 stories)
3. blockading/removing all entrances is a must
4. hmmm there are also four gas stations within 100 feet of the building...

plan II "group survival"
1. gather weapons, and any ppl i see along the way
2. go to the old prison that has the 40ft granite wall, and a very tall water tower (made with granite/steel)to retreat to
3. hope the prisoners are nice

plan III "run plan"
1. again grab weapons, but also focus on food
2. run to cabin and hide until found...then run again....

edit: forgot to pack my zombie survival guide for plans II and III

Fangface74:

M0rp43vs:
my room is covered top to bottom with hidden weapons

There are weapons from floor to ceiling but you can't see any of them?

My room's pretty much the same, i have knives lying everywhere for some reason, the only weapons that are visible as soon as you enter my room is the two katana hanging on the wall.

Yeah... I'm weird I know! xD

Souplex:
Zombies are by definition walking corpses, meaning everything slowly deteriorates without their bodies making new cells to fix it. If you can hole up for at least a week you are good.

Zombies by definition don't really follow the laws of nature. That's more of a 28 Days approach, the bad boys in this hypothetical are animated unnaturally,

How come they never deal with the issue of how bad hundreds of corpses walkin around possibly in the hot sun must smell in any form of media?

I just plan on following my zombie survival guide.

Fangface74:

Souplex:
Zombies are by definition walking corpses, meaning everything slowly deteriorates without their bodies making new cells to fix it. If you can hole up for at least a week you are good.

Zombies by definition don't really follow the laws of nature. That's more of a 28 Days approach, the bad boys in this hypothetical are animated unnaturally,

In every form of media we see some form of rottage even if it is very slow. maybe not a week but at most a month.

Its killbot uprisings we should worry bout.
Metal. Logical. Upgradable. Manufacturable. Repairable. Organized. Pretty much deadlier than zombies in every way. Technology is improving faster than corpses are.

I have a long iron stick, kinda looks like a walking stick but made of iron, that I use to open the hatch to the attic. I'm sure it will work wonders against zombie skulls. After the initial wave, I'll probably steal my neighbours car. My neighbour is handicapped, in a wheelchair, so she's screwed already anyway. Besides, they make a lot of noise, drilling in the wall when I'm trying to sleep of my hangover, so fuck em.