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On the Record  Posts: 6111 Joined: 25 Jan 2008     | |
Muckraker Posts: 300 Joined: 1 Jul 2008     | Most awkward experience for me involved drugs, my hand, and a girlfriend. I don't think the entire story is forum-appropriate. |
Beat Writer  Posts: 143 Joined: 21 Nov 2007  | Being shot three times by a retarded cop in a robbery, not nice... Funnily enough the cop was an ex american soldier, sunnovabitch. The robber had a hostage I was behind him and the police were in the door, trying to negotiate... He was completly insane so it wasn't going to work, so I grabbed him from behind and wrestled him to the ground, and while this cop started to help me, his gun went off in my stomach. Stupid git forgot the safety. |
BANNED  Posts: 740 Joined: 19 Jun 2008     |
I maced myself on accident, I wanted to see what it looked like so I tried spraying some of it in a sink but it had a lot of pressure behind it and it shot back and sprayed all over me. I was young and didn't want to get in trouble either so imagine a kid falling over himself in the bathroom vomiting every where and trying to keep his cool. User was banned for: I'm Finished. (Permanent) |
Muckraker Posts: 300 Joined: 1 Jul 2008 |
Wow. That's, quite frankly, unbelievable. Did the cop face legal repercussions? |
Beat Writer  Posts: 167 Joined: 17 Jul 2008    | Being a Naruto fan for Eighty odd episodes of filler, including the craptastic curry of life and Star village arcs. Or even worse, actually watching those filler episodes. |
Beat Writer  Posts: 192 Joined: 22 Jul 2008    |
Common... you've got me interested now. Let me guess, you got too high, could get it up and had to use your hand instead? Don't worry man it happens to everyone. Well, not me but a buddy of mine once heard of some guy... |
Muckraker Posts: 300 Joined: 1 Jul 2008 |
No. I lacked a rubber, so... However, she neglected to tell me that it was just about that time of the month for her. So, as soon as I noticed blood, I stopped, stared, silently freaked out (that's where the drugs come in), and walked out of the room, running as soon as I was out of sight to the nearest sink. Partway through washing my hands thought 'That was probably a bad move'. She later just teased me about it, though. |
Muckraker  Posts: 229 Joined: 12 Mar 2008    |
Luckily I was able to get just the tip of their tongue and keep it near the front teeth. I had already turned them on their side. Other than that it's a helpless feeling when something like that happens. Something I never want to do again. |
BANNED  Posts: 829 Joined: 9 Aug 2008    | Once, a friend of mine grabbed my balls. I was confused at first, but then...I kissed him. User was banned for: Half-wits to the left of me, Wankers to the right. (Permanent) |
BANNED  Posts: 1590 Joined: 5 May 2008   | Mine has to be when I was strapped down on the surgery table by my hands and feet, had two ITN's and an Epidural coursing though me, before I had my stomach opened up for a C-section. THAT was uncomfortable...especially since I stopped breathing twice... User was banned for: Poll: Why is it that.... (Permanent) |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3607 Joined: 8 Dec 2007  | Well, I broke my toe and the doctors decided to give me the gas they give to pregnant women so I couldn't feel them clicking it back into place and bandaging it up. 5 inhalations later, everything's gone slow-mo, my vision is spinning around and around in super speed and I can't seem to get any one's attention. It wasn't very nice. |
Beat Writer  Posts: 198 Joined: 7 Mar 2008  | I had to do a first aid course at the local fire department with an amazingly gay fire fighter as our instructor who used me to give every example of all the maneuvers like the hiemlick and things. Awkward and uncomfortable. |
Paperboy  Posts: 34 Joined: 25 Jul 2008   | yeah my parents went on the not-so-newlywed show... all i can remember was running out of the room puking |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1664 Joined: 9 Aug 2008    | So far, I think I have the most socially uncomfortable. Let's see physical... Well, I was in my Tae Kwon Do class shortly before my black belt test, hanging around after the class was over, me and my friends were fooling around on a punching bag. We go to see who can do the most ridiculous kicks and land it. I opt for a double-leg drop kick. On falling, I land on my ankle, twisting it sideways and stretching my tendons out just before tearing. So I ended up on crutches for the next two weeks and had to wait for another month before getting my belt. That sucked. Also I once had my nose put into my face by a black belt when sparring with a technique called a ridge hand (like a reverse karate chop) and I started bleeding EVERYWHERE from my face. The class (I was an assistant instructor at this place, helping the master and sparring him) was for children, who were all watching as their master dismantled me. So hear I am, still fighting and bleeding all over the floor, my uniform, and on my opponent. So I'm fighting, still getting beaten up, and then he finally tells to me stop so I can clean myself off and clean up the blood. I still have stains on my uniform. Oh, and I also fought him again after the clean up. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1659 Joined: 7 Mar 2008 | I was in a fight not too long ago where this guy grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head into a brick wall. That was painfull. I bet it wasn't as painful as me breaking his arm, though. Yeah, he looked twice as bad as I did. Sorry if that made you cringe. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1664 Joined: 9 Aug 2008 |
I got a halfie... |
Muckraker  Posts: 228 Joined: 6 May 2008  | Having three gastroscopies, sans meds was nasty as hell - turns out I had well over twenty stomach ulcers. I was vomiting for almost two solid months, but for some reason the doctor (local GP) needed persuading that I needed to go into hospital when I started throwing up blood after losing three stone in that time... Also, once ate a chocolate brownie, unknown to me the cake had something like half a kilo of a secret ingredient, I don't remember much aside from hearing screaming when I was in the nightclub bathroom about an hour later, then realising it was me. My sisters so called friends tried to help by telling me things like "oh, you can still feel your feet? It's gonna get a LOT worse before it stops, maybe in about four hours or so. I'll sit with you and keep talking though". Yay. I've been asked out by a lad literally five minutes after being punched in the face (he was "looking the other way" at the time) - it was no end of fun trying to think of a nice way of saying "no way in hell, you apathetic bar steward". Oh, and there was the time that I was out with my mates and a bloke I REALLY liked, and everyone knew, including him. I was talking to said mates when they started looking at me in a really worried and sympathetic way. One of them tried to text me to not turn around - I did, to see said man copping off with someone way older than me, a whole foot behind me. It was the look on their faces that made it worse. Last one - doing ghost tours of the local area, I was meant to be cheeky to someone playing a vampire and get dragged off into the bushes by him. He forgot his lines and stood there like a rabbit in headlights, I ended up having to cheek a statue and drag the vampire off myself. Not so much uncomfortable as bloody hilarious, esp. since vamp was bloke I liked, and I still have the video of the happy event. |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 59 Joined: 15 Aug 2008 | Ares, you're definitely in the lead here. I've had some odd moments but I can't compete with nekkid jumping jacks. I did have a semi-creepy stalker during the college years who cornered me after a class and pinned me up against a wall because he wanted to "try a move" he learned in his ROTC training. That was a fairly disturbing situation. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3252 Joined: 8 May 2008  | In my old english class we watched "William Shakespeare in Love". It wasn't exactly uncomfortable but all the goody-two-shoes in the class "covered their eyes" or at the very least made it look so during the nudity. I thought it was funny. Same with "Romeo and Juliet" when they showed Romeo's rump. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2849 Joined: 8 Jul 2008   |
Oh god..... I am sorry -_o |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1664 Joined: 9 Aug 2008 |
I did that once as well (with a hand) and boy, oh boy was that a weird New Year's Eve. But no drugs. And no I'm not joking. |
Muckraker Posts: 228 Joined: 6 May 2008 |
That reminds me of the time that someone bit me 'downstairs'. I still don't know why I didn't feel it, but the sight of his face reappearing literally covered in blood was one helluva shock (turns out he was a clean-freak to boot - he didn't come out of the bathroom for half an hour, we broke up shortly after that). |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1664 Joined: 9 Aug 2008 |
I've heard of clumsy hands, but not a clumsy mouth. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3617 Joined: 7 Aug 2008  | Today, having to sit next to a strange old lady on the bus, she kept staring at me...... |
Muckraker Posts: 300 Joined: 1 Jul 2008 |
Intensely uncomfortable moment #2: I once dealt with a girl with a clumsy mouth. I'm not sure how exactly she managed it, but me bolting upright and shouting probably only caused more damage. It hurt to urinate for a few days after. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1933 Joined: 31 Jan 2008 |
Oww oww oww! I've only been hit with a ridge hand while holding a bag and it hurt.. Wow! My dad and step mother fight a lot when I visit.. Mostly about me.. Kinda awkward when they dont do a very good job about hiding it.. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1664 Joined: 9 Aug 2008 |
Yikes. The worst I got was a dry handjob (can I say handjob?). It's like rug burn on your dick. |
Muckraker  Posts: 324 Joined: 30 Jul 2008 | physical - having my hand impaled and stuck to a wall. social - watching someone have a seizure. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 534 Joined: 11 Aug 2008     | Being stabbed in the leg with a pair of large pruneing shears after being hit on the head with a large chunk of wood. Then waiting in the E.R. for like 30 fucking minutes, i was stabbed for chist sakes! Social: Having to sit and listen to a relative who you'd known all your life seriously talk about the spirits in her body. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4581 Joined: 22 Jun 2008   | My freinds hot ass girlfreind, Him drunk, Bathroom, Sex, PO people. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2355 Joined: 14 Sep 2007  | Getting fitted for retainers. Dentist pulling your face open with two giant shoe-horns while a nurse takes pictures. Your face feels like one of those balloons what someone blew up and let go afterwards. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 4581 Joined: 22 Jun 2008 |
You don't read about basic CQC do you? If you have long hair you go to a fight with a beanie and hopefully a fairly tight but not constricting rubber band on so they can't grab. |
Muckraker Posts: 300 Joined: 1 Jul 2008 |
Dentists are always great. Getting my teeth cleaned after not visiting a dentist in about 8 years was good too. The poor assistant had to get a cloth because of how much my gums were bleeding everywhere. I thought of Edgar A. Poe's Berenice during the process; afterwards, I just thought 'God damn, when does it stop hurting?'. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1058 Joined: 2 Jul 2008  | Hmm...physically? I haven't been shot, but; I spent 5 days vomiting up my own stomach acid, except when I had eaten, in which case it was a nice change of food for an hour, then back to a thick, yellow substance... Yeah, 5 days starving, vomiting and pretty much wanting to die weren't great...oh and when I say 5 days I mean when I wasn't sleeping I was being sick, or dry heaving because there was nothing left and I slept for a few hours each night - I was delirious at points and risked dehydration, constantly starving but unable to keep food fown for long enough to fully nourish me...yeah, kinda sucked. That, or there was this one time, where I was hunting down a terrorist faction, and I got shot fifty million times, with bazookas and shotguns...turns out the terrorists were ex-traffic wardens...I am in no way questioning the validity of anyone's story...although it does seem like The Escapist is home to bullet magnets if all of these tales are true. Mentally? Clinically diagnosed paranoid-depression, paranoid-delusions, anxiety attacks etc. etc. etc. But the druggies did their job - thank you NHS... Seriously, why is everyone here so fucked up? |
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Open heart surgery at 2.5 years old.
/resiting-the-urge-to-make-a-joke-and-say-"anal"...