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Beat Writer  Posts: 190 Joined: 12 Aug 2008     | |
News Room Contributor  Posts: 3335 Joined: 21 Feb 2008     | The wittiest off-the-cuff thing I probably ever said was to some girl I bumped into when I was walking through my high school in a foul mood. This exchange ran thus: Girl: God, you're so ignorant! I felt much better after that. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4339 Joined: 22 Jun 2008    |
Is it sucking up if I tell a mod I love him? Moving on the best comeback for anything is to say nothing... .. See how that worked? |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2548 Joined: 28 Jun 2008    |
I can't remember any of my own, whether that is because everything I say is pure genius (or none of it is) is up for debate; however, I'll remember that one. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2126 Joined: 28 May 2008  | I mentioned this in the thread to do with the funniest thing you've heard in a game. When my friend and I were having an argument: Me:"George Bush is a bloody idiot!" Ah I laughed for ages, and I'm not usually one for "yo moma" jokes. |
Paperboy  Posts: 18 Joined: 13 Jul 2008    | When i was out for injury due to Batista i returned at the WWE royal rumble to win it and go on to wrestle mania...oh we were talking of other comebacks? |
Paperboy  Posts: 44 Joined: 13 Jul 2008    | Once I was playing soccer with friends and it was split up into 5 on 5 every twenty minutes we would have an automatic 2-minute timeout and we would discuss what we will do A teamate came up to me and told me i kept hogging the ball (and I knew I was) but I love arguement so I just constantly denied what he was saying then he told me "There's no "I" in time, you know" and as soon as he did I just told him "Well, theres "U" either" everyone around us just started laughing. |
Muckraker  Posts: 292 Joined: 19 Jul 2008  | I'm the sort of guy that thinks of the perfect thing to say 5 minuits after the chance of saying it, but the best comeback I can remember is: I spilled my drink on this guy at schools hand Guy: You fucking idiot watch what your doing! |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2357 Joined: 22 Jun 2008   | A 35-hit "Thats what she said" combo. It was a good one, too. None of the endless dragging on nonsense, this guy wa just digging his own grave. |
Paperboy  Posts: 21 Joined: 29 Nov 2007  | one time i stared at someone such that i won an argument. does that count? |
Paperboy Posts: 16 Joined: 24 Jul 2008 | Friend: [Random insult directed at me] True story. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2741 Joined: 15 Aug 2008   | "your a towel!!!" |
Muckraker  Posts: 231 Joined: 26 Jun 2008  | My sister: I thought you said it was rude to interrupt people mid~sentence. Me: Yeah, don't be like me. Anyway, as I was saying... |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4137 Joined: 27 Apr 2008   | Wasn't really a comeback as I was never insulted, but it had the whole school laughing for a few days. Teacher: Now as all of you know, I grade with a sharp pencil. Totally worth the detention I got for it |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 579 Joined: 4 Oct 2007 | "You f***ing dumbass..." Not from RL, from a game: Maya: Hey, look Nick! It's a super-computer! It looks like it's really smart and wise, doesn't it? |
Paperboy Posts: 16 Joined: 24 Jul 2008 | Co-worker: Random gay joke aimed at me My boss had trouble breathing he was laughing so hard |
Anonymous Source  Posts: 8 Joined: 9 Apr 2008 | *some person does some jerk-like thing* Me: I hope next time you walk across the road you get ran over by cancer. Didnt seem to be popular with the crowd though :/ |
BANNED  Posts: 829 Joined: 9 Aug 2008   | "Well you're black" User was banned for: Half-wits to the left of me, Wankers to the right. (Permanent) |
Muckraker  Posts: 295 Joined: 10 Jun 2008   | I was riding home to my fiance after seeing a friend's band. I ride a 50cc scooter. For some reason, a pickup truck with 2 trucker hat wearing adolescents started pulling up next to me and berating my masculinity for riding a scooter. I took it in stride for about 10 blocks. I then noticed that two things were happening. First, the guys were getting more belligerent, and I was about to run out of easy right turns to make to get away from them if I needed to. We pulled up to a stop light, they were right next to me, and I knew I had to act. I turned to the truck and yelled at the window, "Where are you going?" They looked back a little perplexed, so I asked again. "Where are you going?" Still getting no answer, I drove the nail home, shouting: "Because I'm going home, to get laid. Where are YOU going?" I then displayed a huge shit-eating grin and pulled away from the light. They didn't move for a good 5 seconds, and then sped to catch me at the next light. When they pulled even, I could see both of them laughing like crazy, and the passenger yelled out the window, "Best comeback, ever, man!" They then turned left and let me get home. And get laid. :) |
On the Record  Posts: 6806 Joined: 23 Dec 2007 |
I would somehow like to use that one. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1054 Joined: 14 Dec 2007   | Some dude was right in front of me when I was walking into a store and made no attempt to hold the door for me, resulting in my almost getting a door in the face (thank you reflexes). So I stabbed him to death. ...What? |
CEO & Publisher  Posts: 560 Joined: 12 Nov 2002  | When I was a younger man, a rather obese bully decided to make fun of my well-developed ear size. "You could fly with those ears!" he said, pointing and laughing. I looked him up and down and allowed my gaze to rest on his super-sized belly and said, "Yes, but you couldn't." |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2320 Joined: 1 Feb 2008   | I ride a motorcycle and when I'm in full gear, you can't see I'm female. I was in the parking lot ready to take off for work when a drunk frat boy came staggering up to me. Him: Nice bike! |
Beat Writer  Posts: 160 Joined: 14 Aug 2008  | (In CoD4 team tactical) (1 or 2 rounds later in Team tactical - Team DM) That was our best comeback ever and we loved making him uncomfortable like that, so it became our own running gag whenever we got mad/annoyed/etc. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3234 Joined: 8 May 2008 |
But you have to stare at them blankly. I've had some doozies, but I can't remember 'em. |
Beat Writer  Posts: 128 Joined: 15 Aug 2008 | My idea of a comeback is to stare at the ground and stutter endlessly until the person leaves. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1672 Joined: 4 May 2008  | Random dead guy whom I straddled like seabuiscut: YOU MUST NO TBAGGING after that, I got banned from that server, but I had a good laugh anyways. |
Beat Writer  Posts: 130 Joined: 16 Jul 2008  | Well, it wasn't really a comeback, but it was a nice verbal bitch-slap. Quick background info: I'm from California and the other two guys were from Korea and Japan. Korean: *Talking about rice* The room went silent and the two guys just stood there staring at me with a look of "oh shit, I just got owned..." on their faces. |
BANNED  Posts: 4378 Joined: 21 Aug 2008   | I don't use comebacks against people; it's silly and juvenile. :\ User was banned for: Microsoft and the World Domination of Gaming&Communication. (Permanent) |
On the Record  Posts: 5554 Joined: 25 Jan 2008  | Not as witty as it seemed back in the day, but... Back in highschool, I got into an argument with my English teacher (the one teaching English, not the one who was English. He's a whole different argument) and at some point he commented "Stop being such a smartass", to which I replied "would you rather I be a dumbass like you?". I was suspended. |
Anonymous Source Posts: 4 Joined: 17 Jun 2009 | lool :D he left and i was cheered on my people... it works wonders verbally too. |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 116 Joined: 19 Jan 2009 |
dude im really really not one for spelling but there is an i in time im gonna guess that was meant to be team =P |
Muckraker  Posts: 317 Joined: 31 Dec 2008 | I was looking for a Latin grammar book and one of my old teachers showed up and asked what I was looking for after I told him what I was doing. He said "Studying a dead language. Useful", albeit jokingly. I respond with what I stole from somewhere I don't recall- "It's not dead, it just smells funny". He laughed too much. |
Pulitzer Laureate  Posts: 821 Joined: 14 Apr 2009 |
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Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2263 Joined: 8 Dec 2007 | I was in an Xbox Live party, this one dude was complaining about this "slut" who disgusted him and how women like that really annoyed him. To which I reply: "That's why I like my women pixelated, if they displease me I can just delete them!" Not sure if it's really "a come back", but it was funny at the time. |
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So yeah, what was comeback,retort, or wittiest thing you ever said.
For me, it would be when i was in 2nd grade and this fat kid was giving me hard time. He called me a munchkin and i just turned around and said, "If I'm a munchkin, then you're the whole doughnut." maybe it was one of those had to have been there moments, but the expression on his face is so funny i still remember it.