MysteriousSquirrel:
BUt one that stands out as god awful is House of the Dead 2. Now i am not talking about the game, but rather the movie, in which a college campus breaks out in a zombie epidemic. The dialouge is dryer than anything else, the horror is non-existant, and it has the guy from devils rejects in it, so it HAS to blow.
Anyone else?

HOW DARE YOU.
House of the dead 1 was CRAPPP, but 2.... Man that was awsome.
Me and a mate hired it and loved it, it's what 99.99% of people want out of a zombie movie..

Survival
+
Action

Too many movies foucous on one or the other, E.g Dawn of the Dead (never liked it), focused WAY to much on survival, with no actual action.

House of the Dead 2 was a great zombie movie
(granted their were a few dodgie lines)

I played a zombie in a movie called Unsettled. It was about the Roanoke colony being overrun by Indian zombies that infected the settlers. Lets see if you can find that gem on E-bay.

khululy:
Resident evil 3 was pretty awfull

I am please to hear this, because I also think it was a pretty awful film.
I thought it was going to be better than the second one however my insticts have failed me again!

*whispers* 'Goddamn you instints, cant you do anything good?'

*cough*

Though i liked the first film! =]

Ares Tyr:

Xhumed:

Ares Tyr:

poleboy:

Larenxis:
Either Undead or Braindead (Dead Alive). So... so bad.

Shirley, you jest! Undead is the finest thing to come out of New Zealand since... uh.. cheese?

Yeah, like several posts before you and Xhumed are wrong in the brain.

I resent that remark sir -glove slap- I demand satisfaction on the duelling field!

Never seen Undead, but Braindead is a classic. Its hilarious!

I was agreeing with the two of you! I agree that Dead Alive is good, and 30 Days of Night is undoubtedly a vampire flick...

But if its a duel you want... then I'll go and start kindling your funeral pyre.

I apologise, your post was confusing, you seemed to be calling me wrong in the brain. Challenge withdrawn.

i have to agree that Resident Evil 3 was bad. The main reason was because of the lack of zombies in it. Sure they were shown surrounding gates and such, but the only real combat between man and zombie happened with either those super zombies, an undead dog, or the rare instance with your run of the mill biter.

And this is coming from a guy who loves the videogames.

Xhumed:

Larenxis:
Either Undead or Braindead (Dead Alive). So... so bad.

Braindead...bad? Does...not...compute...

But the priest, he kicks ass for the lord, how can a movie with that line in it possibly be bad? It has also got that awesomely silly Lawnmower scene.

I was really disappointed with Land of the Dead considering how everyone rants on and on about how great Romeros movies are.
For the record Zombie Strippers is fucking fantastic. Tits, zombies, a mexican janitor and pool balls... how can you possibly lose ?

PedroSteckecilo:

Xhumed:

Larenxis:
Either Undead or Braindead (Dead Alive). So... so bad.

Braindead...bad? Does...not...compute...

But the priest, he kicks ass for the lord, how can a movie with that line in it possibly be bad? It has also got that awesomely silly Lawnmower scene.

my point exactly. Braindead is awesome ^^

Man. Has no one beheld...beholded...SAW the quasi-remake 'Day of the Dead' that was just released to DVD. It has Nick Cannon, Ving Rhames and Mena Survari(whom I'm pretty sure is a REAL zombie!) Complete with Zombies leaping to the ceiling and crawling upside down towards their victims! Zombies using FIREARMS! A scene where Ving(as a Zombie) irritated by his own dangling eyeball, snatches it from his face and EATS IT!!!!!! Steve Miner, the hack, director should be placed in the nearest availible cannon and shot into Nick Cannon's rectum!!!!!!!

...and where did Larenxis go?! *looks around* For saying that Dead Alive was bad, I challenge her to a game of Connect-Four!

avykins:
I was really disappointed with Land of the Dead considering how everyone rants on and on about how great Romeros movies are.
For the record Zombie Strippers is fucking fantastic. Tits, zombies, a mexican janitor and pool balls... how can you possibly lose ?

The reason Land of the Dead wasnt SO bad was because it mixed things up a bit. If you follow the timeline of Romeros movies, you will notice a pattern. The longer after initial outbreak, the more intellegent zombies get. (Compare Night of the Living Dead (any version) to Dawn of the Dead. Then Compare Dawn with Land. You will notice that since it is a longer period after the outbreak (and longer since the first movie was made) that the zombies are supposed to adapt and get smarter.

Now if you had another reason to dislike the movie, so be it. I just wanted to adress a common complaint of Land of the Dead.

Brain Dead is one messed up movie. It's mad to think the same director gave us The Lord of The Rings.

i dont count Day of the Dead as a remake. It literally had nothing to do with the first one. Which, for anyone who hasnt seen it, is focused on human interaction and adaption in a post-zombified world. The remake was just another zombie movie... just with Nick Cannon. So we all know, by law, it has to be awful.

Shock Waves - how do you get Zombies, Nazis and Peter Cushing wrong?

I hate Nick Cannon. Yeah. I SAID it! I was also very unhappy with Diary of the Dead. But that isn't Nick Cannon's fault...

*thinks quietly*

Maybe it is...

What things going wrong in the world cant be blamed on Nick Cannon?

Yeah I can grasp the concept of the zombies regaining some basic intelligence. However the rest of the movie was complete and utter shit. Most of the characters had less personality then the zombies and those who did were either petty bastards or soo annoying I want to put their faces in a meat grinder.
All in all the whole thing was just a huge flop coming from the "King of zombie movies"
For me the best zombie movie is Zack Snyders Dawn of the Dead. I cant wait for his next zombie movie Army of the Dead.

ShockWaves needed Werewolves! I am a firm believer werewolves spruce up just about anything. They are like mythical All-Spice or a nice throw rug.

Snyder is doing Army of the Dead!?! Wherest did you here this factoid?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_of_the_Dead_(2004_film)#Possible_sequel
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117961772.html?categoryid=13&cs=1

Snyder has committed to at least producing another zombie movie entitled Army of the Dead;[13] however, Joby Harold (a co-writer of the film who was involved with the development) said in interviews that it is in no way connected to Dawn 2004.

Not set in stone yet but by the gods im praying.
*starts sacrificing chickens*

MysteriousSquirrel:
What things going wrong in the world cant be blamed on Nick Cannon?

Im with you. I think its high time something was done about his smarmy caramel blight on us! Start with that cannon and his rectum!

i will agree, the characters were dry. Especially considering it had John Lequizamo and Dennis Hopper in it.

MysteriousSquirrel:

avykins:
I was really disappointed with Land of the Dead considering how everyone rants on and on about how great Romeros movies are.
For the record Zombie Strippers is fucking fantastic. Tits, zombies, a mexican janitor and pool balls... how can you possibly lose ?

The reason Land of the Dead wasnt SO bad was because it mixed things up a bit. If you follow the timeline of Romeros movies, you will notice a pattern. The longer after initial outbreak, the more intellegent zombies get. (Compare Night of the Living Dead (any version) to Dawn of the Dead. Then Compare Dawn with Land. You will notice that since it is a longer period after the outbreak (and longer since the first movie was made) that the zombies are supposed to adapt and get smarter.

Now if you had another reason to dislike the movie, so be it. I just wanted to adress a common complaint of Land of the Dead.

Don't forget Day of the Dead. And for those who thought Land of the Dead was bad, they obviously haven't seen Diary of the Dead (WHY GEROGE, WHY!?).
The Resident Evil trilogy was, by and large, utter horse shite, particularly the 3rd.
The first one was alright (mediocre, but no 'bad'), whereas the other two were just plain crap.

the attack of zombies from lab 5 its so stupid the zombies dont look like zombies and they say things like brains or im hungry

avykins:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dawn_of_the_Dead_(2004_film)#Possible_sequel

Snyder has committed to at least producing another zombie movie entitled Army of the Dead;[13] however, Joby Harold (a co-writer of the film who was involved with the development) said in interviews that it is in no way connected to Dawn 2004.

Not set in stone yet but by the gods im praying.
*starts sacrificing chickens*

Not to be on his nuts, but that man has the friggin' movie Midas touch. If Watchmen doesn't come out because of movie politics, I may just go Emo and start cuttin...

Not myself. But something...maybe Nick Cannon.

I never really liked anything past the first Romero zombie film. It just seems like he updated the previous one about 20 times now and he still manages to make money now from people who can't see there's nothing original or interesting in them.

And NO, teaching zombies to wield AND fire guns isn't something that makes a good zombie film. If it were supposed to be some form of parody then maybe I could let it slide, but it wasn't.

BrainDead (NOT DeadAlive! Stop fecking calling it that, damn name-changers) is a great film IMO. As it goes through several genres (slight romance, zombie comedy then gore filled survival horror) which displays Jackson's passion for writing a film that dares to dare. Not his new technique of directing some crap that was written aaaaaaaaaaaages ago and thinking he did a good job because he could choke a giant gorilla with his wallet.

And finally, I know the thread is about crap zombie films but I'd like to give 28 Days Later a mention for being awesome. Although I haven't bothered with the American sequel because frankly, you guys always fuck things up when you decide to convert/continue/remake stuff made elsewhere.

They should just change the front cover to something with tits on to appeal to the intended new audience.

Any zombie movie on the Sci-Fi channel. In fact, any movie on the Sci-Fi channel. (I'm talking about the home-grown stuff, not DotD and actual movie movies)

dannydamage:
I never really liked anything past the first Romero zombie film. It just seems like he updated the previous one about 20 times now and he still manages to make money now from people who can't see there's nothing original or interesting in them.

And NO, teaching zombies to wield AND fire guns isn't something that makes a good zombie film. If it were supposed to be some form of parody then maybe I could let it slide, but it wasn't.

BrainDead (NOT DeadAlive! Stop fecking calling it that, damn name-changers) is a great film IMO. As it goes through several genres (slight romance, zombie comedy then gore filled survival horror) which displays Jackson's passion for writing a film that dares to dare. Not his new technique of directing some crap that was written aaaaaaaaaaaages ago and thinking he did a good job because he could choke a giant gorilla with his wallet.

And finally, I know the thread is about crap zombie films but I'd like to give 28 Days Later a mention for being awesome. Although I haven't bothered with the American sequel because frankly, you guys always fuck things up when you decide to convert/continue/remake stuff made elsewhere.

They should just change the front cover to something with tits on to appeal to the intended new audience.

Woah! Woah! Woah, there cowpoke. 'Americans' "F' things up"?! My friend, this country gave the world McRIB!!!! Now if a of hunk of boneless rib, slathered in tangy sauce, pickles and onions ISN'T this side of a Heavenly blessing, you CANNOT be pleased!

Wow. Ok then. 28 days was a great movie. But to defend the American movie industry (which is really hard to do) the sequel was not half bad. The concept is similar to Land of the Dead (where society restarts) but it also has the appeal that the first one did(28 days). It shows just how far people will go to defend themselves. I thought it was alright. the end was weak, but i still thought it made a halfway decent sequel.

by the way, nice choice with the McRib. Great Rep. for America.

MysteriousSquirrel:
by the way, nice choice with the McRib. Great Rep. for America.

Had it not been enough, I would have taken his English-ass outside and handled things the way our forefathers did. DANCE-OFF!

zombielifecoach:

MysteriousSquirrel:
by the way, nice choice with the McRib. Great Rep. for America.

Had it not been enough, I would have taken his English-ass outside and handled things the way our forefathers did. DANCE-OFF!

God Bless America

Dawn of the Dead remake, seriously, a "true" zombie should NOT be able to run like a fucking athlete, it just made me laugh cause its so much crap, original is one of the best though.

I rented "day of the dead: beginning" once. It was seriously so bad that i ahd a freaking nasty taste in my mouth afterwards. It's about some kind of alien "thingy" living in a metal pod beneath an asylum. And with the worst computer animation i've seen it soars up in one of the patient's nose and makes him a person who knows that he is a zombie, is butt-ugly, and still likes chewing on people. The thing i remembered the most was that when the military was shooting at zombies they zoomed in on a guys gun, showing that there was no fire coming out of the gun, all he did was faking a recoil. No wonder why the zombies were hard to kill...

Fronken:
Dawn of the Dead remake, seriously, a "true" zombie should NOT be able to run like a fucking athlete, it just made me laugh cause its so much crap, original is one of the best though.

Ahhh, an arguement as old as time itself... 'Zombies. Fast or Slow?' I'm with you. I like my Zombies shambling. Maybe a weeeee bit pluckier, if he carbed up the night before.

smuttbullen:
I rented "day of the dead: beginning" once. It was seriously so bad that i ahd a freaking nasty taste in my mouth afterwards. It's about some kind of alien "thingy" living in a metal pod beneath an asylum. And with the worst computer animation i've seen it soars up in one of the patient's nose and makes him a person who knows that he is a zombie, is butt-ugly, and still likes chewing on people. The thing i remembered the most was that when the military was shooting at zombies they zoomed in on a guys gun, showing that there was no fire coming out of the gun, all he did was faking a recoil. No wonder why the zombies were hard to kill...

wait. They snorted Alien Zombie-Dust and became undead?