Any Australian KFC fry-jockeys with stories? I want to know what to expect.

Did someone resurrect this just to have it win an Ultra?

Xhumed?

In any case, i was fired from a dinky little cafe for screaming right back at a little shit taking the piss out of me a while back...

... people need to learn to control their children...

Once, at a McDonald's, I ordered my usual large McNugget meal with extra fries and lemonade. The cashier repeated something I didn't quite catch, but which sounded like that, so I said "yeah"

She comes back with a chicken burger and an orange juice. I politely repeated my order and she said, very rudely, "No, you asked for a chicken burger and orange juice. I asked if that was what you wanted and you said yes"

How could she mishear "Large Mcnugget meal with extra fries and lemonade" for "chicken burger and orange juice"?? It was a pretty loud restaurant, but STILL

Ultrajoe:
Did someone resurrect this just to have it win an Ultra?

Xhumed?

In any case, i was fired from a dinky little cafe for screaming right back at a little shit taking the piss out of me a while back...

... people need to learn to control their children...

Actually the timing is almost coincidental, I'd been meaning to vent about that bloody idiot for about a day and hadn't got around to it. You simply reminded me to do so.

Besides, it's not like I stand much chance against "I bet he's a cockney..."

One time I was sitting with a friend at a Wendy's restaurant inside a shopping centre while he ate (I don't touch that crap). We were the only ones in the place save for the staff. After sitting for a few minutes, some guy who looked like he worked in an office nearby came in and ordered something or other. One of the staff informed him that since they hadn't been busy, he'd have to wait five minutes for them to get the french fries out of the freezer and put them in the fryer. He instantly flipped, and started ranting about how he was on a lunch break and had to get back to the office as fast as possible, how he shouldn't have to wait for his food because he was the customer at a fast food restaurant, and how he was a very busy man without much time on his hands. His ranting went on for more than five minutes, after which eventually the manager came out, offered the guy a coupon for something or other, and he left. He never actually took the food he ordered and he was clearly just fucking around and trying to get a free meal. I pointed this out to the manager afterwards, and he said he was well aware of it, but would rather give him a coupon than risk losing a potential customer. Personally, I would have told the guy to fuck off and go eat his own asshole out, but whatever. Just shows that there's a disgusting low-life around every corner.

I used to work at Blockbuster (it closed down unfortunately) but we had a rule there that if you didn't have a card you can't hire any movies out unless the account is under your name. Well one day someone comes in fine with their kids and they get their movies so I ask him for his card and surprise he doesn't have it, I then checked with him and it wasn't his account so i tell him he can't hire the movies so this guys face suddenly turns rather scary and he started shouting about him going there heaps and always hiring without a card, this was all while he was cursing every second word and he had his kids who looked to be about 5 next to him. After about 5 minutes he stopped his hissyfit and throws the movies on the table and says "Fuck you guys, I'm never coming back here, you've just lost a good customer"
I was just happy he had gone but then in a couple of minutes he came back again and asks "I found the card, do you still have those movies for me?"
We've also had some kid who was about 14 come and try to hire out "Girls Gone Wild" and another kid walk around the store and get about 20 dvd cases and run away... the funny thing is we keep all the movies behind the counter. One more i can't forget is someone coming in and asking "Excuse me, do you have any newspapers"
"No we don't sorry" I was thinking he was just an average person here but then he starts shouting "What kind of video store is this if you don't even have a fucking newspaper" and he just walked out after that and started shouting at some kids for no reason.

This last one isn't from a customer being stupid but I'll never forget it. So this person comes in normally with a VHS and says "I just found this a couple of days ago i think it might be a bit late" so I return it and see how late it was, it was due back in 2000 and he had $12000 overdue on it. When I told him his face was priceless but i don't think he ever payed it.

Pidgeon, is that $1,200, or $12,000?

the monopoly guy:
Pidgeon, is that $1,200, or $12,000?

It was $12,000

Yeah I worked at Blockbuster Canada. I love the priceless idiots that would come in at times. Blockbuster Canada doesn't have adult movies, so whenever a customer would come, look around and then ask you all angry "Don't you guys have any adult movies in this place?" I usually reply in a louder voice (not screaming but loud enough to be heard) "Oh, sorry, we don't carry adult films."

I had a customer come in all angry-like. He comes up to the counter and puts a movie he had bought on the counter and said "This movie is gay!" So I take a quick look at the movie and see it is Brokeback Mountain. I had to restrain my laughs, but anyways some of the other customers started to chuckle. I told him "We can't refund movies if they are not defective." So he then says "Well it does have a small scratch on it." And I promtly told him "The movie DID work when you put it in the DVD player, or else you wouldn't know that this movie is in fact about 2 gay men."

I Am Pigeon:

the monopoly guy:
Pidgeon, is that $1,200, or $12,000?

It was $12,000

...That is what I call a late-fee. Bloody hell.

Another abusive customer on the phone, this one complaining that half his delivery order hasn't arrived. The furniture order had arrived, but the archive boxes hadn't. After getting stroppy with me on the phone, despite it a) being nothing to do with me or the store (furniture goes from a separate warehouse to other items.) I told him I'd phone the distribution centre and see what was going on, then call him back. I tired to phone them, but to no avail (it was half 4, they sometimes knock-off early.) I rang him back and told the customer I'd have to try them first thing in the morning when I got in.
Anyway, next morning I go in, and try to reach them again. No luck. So I go and talk to our Receiving guy, who handles orders. Turns out, this guy had phoned him that morning, giving him a load of abuse. What had happened was, when the guy placed his order, he had given us his house number. He wanted the delivery taken to his workplace, which is where he was waiting. So when the guy in receiving tried to phone to check someone was there, he couldn't reach him, so they didn't deliver (they won't deliver if there's no one to take it.)
So bearing in mind all the abuse he gave us, it was his fault.

Oh, and the customers name?

Mr. Leghorn.

Graustein:
How could she mishear "Large Mcnugget meal with extra fries and lemonade" for "chicken burger and orange juice"?? It was a pretty loud restaurant, but STILL

Same way you misheard it when she repeated it?

Xhumed:
Another abusive customer on the phone, this one complaining that half his delivery order hasn't arrived. The furniture order had arrived, but the archive boxes hadn't. After getting stroppy with me on the phone, despite it a) being nothing to do with me or the store (furniture goes from a separate warehouse to other items.) I told him I'd phone the distribution centre and see what was going on, then call him back. I tired to phone them, but to no avail (it was half 4, they sometimes knock-off early.) I rang him back and told the customer I'd have to try them first thing in the morning when I got in.
Anyway, next morning I go in, and try to reach them again. No luck. So I go and talk to our Receiving guy, who handles orders. Turns out, this guy had phoned him that morning, giving him a load of abuse. What had happened was, when the guy placed his order, he had given us his house number. He wanted the delivery taken to his workplace, which is where he was waiting. So when the guy in receiving tried to phone to check someone was there, he couldn't reach him, so they didn't deliver (they won't deliver if there's no one to take it.)
So bearing in mind all the abuse he gave us, it was his fault.

Oh, and the customers name?

Mr. Leghorn.

Did he talk like "Ah say, Ah say, wheah the hell is my ordah, boy?!"

Customer: Hi what kind of soups do you have today? (This question is asked of me at least 30 times a day even though there's a "Current Soups" menu on the bottom of the main menu, but that's another thing)

Myself: Well, we have Chicken Noodle and Hearty Vegetable

Customer: Is there any meat in the vegetable soup? *short pause* Oh, oh my god that was the dumbest question ever, I'm sorry.

I then explained to him that the fact that he realized was more than redeeming compared to the amazing things the old ladies that frequent my store come up with.

Earlier today, as a soccer ref, a corner kick went bad. Way, way, way bad. I was standing behind the mass of players and to the opposite side of the corner kick, a good 40 yards away. It flies straight towards my head at what had to be about 40 or 50 MPH, and I wound up pulling a genuine matrix style dodge on the ball, with it grazing the top of my forehead. It flew out of bounds, and I gave the other team a free throw.

Cue whining soccer mom and coach screaming at me for knocking the ball out of play. I told her that I dodged it as best I can and that it barely grazed me, and it was clearly going out of play anyway, and walked away (Refs aren't supposed to stick around to argue, just tell the person why they are wrong, if anything, and leave ASAP). I think everything is fine, this kind of stuff happens all the time. I'm still walking away, blow the whistle for the throw in to start, and then feel my shirt yanked back. The soccer mom turns me around (I still barely knew what was going on at that point) and starts yelling and cursing at me. This was a U12 childrens game, by the way. I had to stop play, tell her "The game can go on without you, ma'am, would you please leave the field?" Which of course, led to more yelling. Eventually her assistant coach had to nearly drag her off the field and out of the park before we could start again.

At least I get paid above minimum wage to put up with that crap. I feel bad for people who deal with that and get paid badly.

Yesterday, a group of pikeys (gypsies/romanies) came in an decided to re-arrange all the shelves, leaving all the items they weren't sure one lying across the stairs. Then all 4 decided to pay at once, paying from a sock that held 1's/2's and 5's.

Even though I have the greatest respect for travellers, the idea of working into society seems to have been totally lost on them.

That and the 15 different singing toys that the kids set off every 5 minutes.

God I love Xmas.

ThaBenMan:

Xhumed:

Long story about an annoying customer.

Oh, and the customers name?

Mr. Leghorn.

Did he talk like "Ah say, Ah say, wheah the hell is my ordah, boy?!"

He did when I told my fiancé the story later that day.

Even though I have the greatest respect for travellers, the idea of working into society seems to have been totally lost on them.

You've got a lot more tolerance than I do, then. I despise all of the Traveller children and teenagers that I've ever seen, and while I can just about tolerate most of the adults, let's just say that I won't be befriending any of them soon.

Why the hatred? Because at least three-quarters of my customer problems have come because of them, and because of my decidedly short frame and the fact that I wear spectacles, I don't have much presence, which merely compounds my problems.

For the attention of all people who bring their kids into Officeworks shops:
PLEASE keep them from opening the packets of biscuits and sweets, because we have to throw the whole pack away when they do.
Seriously, I had to throw out a whole packet of M&Ms and a 90% full pack of Tim Tams today because of it.
Little shits.

As a teenager I worked among other things delivering auto parts. One day I delivered a tie rod end for a '55 Pontiac to a mechanic who is, let us say, not the sharpest bowling ball in the closet. For those who don't understand tie rods, there is one left hand thread and one right hand thread end, so that turning the shaft actually adjusts the overall length to be longer or shorter. Since so often we were asked for and delivered the wrong piece, we commonly brought both to save making a second trip. This particular day I pull up and see a '65 Pontiac - a radically different automobile (plus the year model is stamped in the door plate and embossed into the tail light lenses.) So I tell the mechanic I must have misunderstood him, I've brought him parts for a '55, and I'll have to make another trip, and he assures me that the car is in fact a '55. Now it's very obviously not a '55, but what the hell, I'm already here so I give him the parts and he disappears under the car. A couple of minutes later he comes back out and tells me I've brought him the wrong parts, these are right hand thread and he needs left hand thread. I try half-heartedly to explain that he's tried the wrong one, one's left hand thread and one's right hand thread, but he's sure that the right wheel takes right hand thread and the left wheel takes left hand thread and, since I already know there's a 99% chance that parts for a '55 won't fit a '65, I go back to the store. This is my farthest delivery, so it takes me awhile to get back, but once again I hand him two tie rod ends (left hand thread and one right hand thread.) Once again he crawls under the car, only to emerge a few minutes later and announces: "Those aren't left hand thread or right hand thread; they must be straight thread."

At that point I give up and tell him that straight thread tie rod ends must be ordered from the dealer, gather up my tie rod ends and the tattered shards of my dignity, and go back to work.

When I worked in a pub in the UK, we constantly got customers asking for the Roast of the Day on weekdays. Basically, on the menu, under rolls, sandwiches and baguettes, there was the option for Roast of the Day, as a filling. It was very clearly marked under this section, yet people seemed reluctant to read the menu properly.

To smart people this should be a sign that the menu layout is wrong

Graustein:
Once, at a McDonald's, I ordered my usual large McNugget meal with extra fries and lemonade. The cashier repeated something I didn't quite catch, but which sounded like that, so I said "yeah"

She comes back with a chicken burger and an orange juice. I politely repeated my order and she said, very rudely, "No, you asked for a chicken burger and orange juice. I asked if that was what you wanted and you said yes"

How could she mishear "Large Mcnugget meal with extra fries and lemonade" for "chicken burger and orange juice"?? It was a pretty loud restaurant, but STILL

Whoa, just whoa......You just described an almost completely identical situation that happened to me in a McDonald's.....

Same thing happened here: I order the chicken nuggets and I receive a chicken sandwich. I tell the person I ordered the nuggets and the person says that I ordered the sandwich. Hmmm- as I recall, they were quite rude, as well.....And they were rather loud.......

That is so strange.....

Your thoughts, Graustein?

jamanticus:

Graustein:
Once, at a McDonald's, I ordered my usual large McNugget meal with extra fries and lemonade. The cashier repeated something I didn't quite catch, but which sounded like that, so I said "yeah"

She comes back with a chicken burger and an orange juice. I politely repeated my order and she said, very rudely, "No, you asked for a chicken burger and orange juice. I asked if that was what you wanted and you said yes"

How could she mishear "Large Mcnugget meal with extra fries and lemonade" for "chicken burger and orange juice"?? It was a pretty loud restaurant, but STILL

Whoa, just whoa......You just described an almost completely identical situation that happened to me in a McDonald's.....

Same thing happened here: I order the chicken nuggets and I receive a chicken sandwich. I tell the person I ordered the nuggets and the person says that I ordered the sandwich. Hmmm- as I recall, they were quite rude, as well.....And they were rather loud.......

That is so strange.....

Your thoughts, Graustein?

Sounds like McDonald's don't have particularly high hiring standards to me.
Which is good, means there's at least ONE place I'll be able to get a job once I'm done with exams

tobyornottoby:

When I worked in a pub in the UK, we constantly got customers asking for the Roast of the Day on weekdays. Basically, on the menu, under rolls, sandwiches and baguettes, there was the option for Roast of the Day, as a filling. It was very clearly marked under this section, yet people seemed reluctant to read the menu properly.

To smart people this should be a sign that the menu layout is wrong

Except, smartarse, the layout was fine. Most people didn't have a problem with it. it was clearly under the mentioned sections. The titles were clear. People just read what they wanted to and assumed what they wanted.

Xhumed:

tobyornottoby:

When I worked in a pub in the UK, we constantly got customers asking for the Roast of the Day on weekdays. Basically, on the menu, under rolls, sandwiches and baguettes, there was the option for Roast of the Day, as a filling. It was very clearly marked under this section, yet people seemed reluctant to read the menu properly.

To smart people this should be a sign that the menu layout is wrong

Except, smartarse, the layout was fine. Most people didn't have a problem with it. it was clearly under the mentioned sections. The titles were clear. People just read what they wanted to and assumed what they wanted.

rite rite, sorry ;) just that also in a field like game design, 'the player is always right' is one of the highest laws. sometimes things aren't clear for some reason

Also: coming in 5 minutes before we close and making a bloody ordeal out of buying some shelving units: not cool guys.

Not quite as epic as any of your other stories but anyway.

My first job was a waiter at a small cafe in the kinda cafe district of my town. Mosly we had a group of regulars who were nice and then the odd traveller from the hotel nearby. All good so far.

On my second shift there ( 8 hour shift ) and towards the end of it i have a lady order 3 "Hot Chocolates". My manager and all the other employees heard this so whatever i make them take them out to her and then she decides she wants them in mugs. Mkay ill be nice. Make em up again. she takes a sip of one and says "THIS IS NOT ITALIAN HOT CHOCOLATE" and proceeds to verbally abuse me.

At a nearby table a little old lady who is one of our regulars gets up and tells the woman politely that she only ordered hot chocolates anyhow hissyfit whatever. 2 undrunk hot chocolates and $10 out of pocket the lady storms of and leaves me and the nice old lady with a mug of hot chocolate.

happy ending, sad story.

Y'ever had one of those days? You probably know what I'm talking about. It's the day where you personally are having a fine day, until you go to work. Then, once you're at work, everything is a mess, nothing works right, and everyone's panicked because nothing works right?

Yeah, those are fun work days. So I'm doing my job (monitoring an online feed of a sports event), and my job is to make sure the feed stays consistent. Well, lo-and-behold, the feed starts screwing up. So I bump to a reliable feed for a minute while I tweak what's going on. Something falls apart, and both feeds start screwing up (despite the fact that the first feed is saved on the server, and therefore should just run from the server just fine). The feed-host calls (since he's the one sending me the screwy feed) to say that they're having some internet difficulty, but it should be resolved soon. Well, until the resolution is done, we need to fix our local feed that's screwing up. I call to a few of my co-workers to see if they can get it done, which they have about the same luck I do.

So we're all running around, yelling, trying to pull some tech into the room to check the server on their end. And it's all a big mess, nothing's quite going right, and my phone rings from the venue. Out of hectic yelling comes silence as the phone echos, and I picked up the phone, voice completely calm and professional. The venue alerts me that everything's smooth, and the line should adjust for in a few seconds. I thank him, and hang up, letting with it a huge sigh of relief. Out of all of the stress and panic, I just picked up a phone and did calm, collected professional-voiced business. About 10 seconds after the call was over, everyone laughed.

I've had some odd days, but this one was perhaps among the more interesting...

Well I've worked as a carpenter for quiet a while and man are people thick.

I was hired to touch up a boiler room. These old concrete walls had taken a beating through the years and I was supposed to fill holes and even out the floor to put tiles in there. I started filling up holes in the walls (some was really huge things) and even it out. Then I got to the floors. When done I said. I'm going to let this dry and be back tomorrow.

When I come back there was footsteps in my lair of floating filler. The guy walks up to me and says "I'm not happy with the walls"
I said: "What do you mean?"
He goes on "I wanted you to even them out all the way"

He actually wanted me to make those damn walls completely smooth! That would take an assload of work. You can't possibly make that happen on the budget he provided and the time. There was just no way.

I said "You walked in this room after I left!"
He says "Is that a problem!?"
"Well yes it is! Why do you think I got away from here to let it dry? If I start laying down tiles in here it's going to look like shit. I'm going to have to do this again."
"Well why don't you just leave this to someone else then?"
"I will, goodbye sir."

I know the guy he hired after me so this story goes on :P... Moron.

But the worst customers of all are ladies who work at daycare centers. My god you better watch your back!

Also people always want you to do more for them. But they generally don't want to pay for it.

I was building a house and the customer called me "Hi, can you come over and help me carry a sofa and some speakers?"
"But I'm buillding a house right now"
"..... but you are working for me."

I just hang up. First of I wasn't working for him, I was working for a company that delivers his house. I have a set price and a time frame. If I leave to do something else it's me loosing money and time.

I spent 15 minutes arguing with a customer over whether the whipped cream on a pie was REAL WHIPPED CREAM.

First off, How would you know if it was?
Second, How would you know if it wasn't?
Third, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? ITS WHIPPED, FLUFFY AND DELICIOUS! IT HAS ALL THE PROPERTIES WHIPPED CREAM SHOULD HAVE!

I ended up having to go into the freezer at the bakery I was working at, come back out with a tub of cream, and explain very calmly to her "This is cream. Whipping cream. We whip it. We put it on pies. It is real. Goodbye."

I have so many of these stories. I'm in the military now so thank heavens I can now look on my time in retail with wry amusement...

I worked at a Baker's Delight in my uni years but got very sick of the early starts on a weekend....I'm talking about 2am until 10am. Anyway, there were three of us working one morning (me, another mate and the second in charge of the store....who was on thin ice with the head baker/owner apparently!) and we were baking away and having a laugh. Anyway, we often opened at around 5:30am on a Saturday so that insane older people could come in and get their morning bread and a paper. This one morning we hear a lady come to the counter at about 5:45, and the afore-mentioned second in charge goes out there so serve her. This finished his career, but gee we laughed. This is what transpired....
Lady: 'Hello!'
2IC: 'Hello Ma'am, how are you today?' *sweet as sugar at this point*
Lady: 'I'm great! Lovely morning!'
2IC: 'It sure is! And what can I get for you today?'
Lady: 'Just one of those lovely Vienna loaves thanks.'
*2IC reaches to grab the front loaf...all were about 10 mins out of the oven by this point and still hot*
Lady: *flips for no apparent reason and snaps* 'NOT THAT ONE THE ONE AT THE BACK THANK YOU!!'
2IC: 'You'll f%#king get what you're given BITCH!'

My mate and I just looked at each other and collapsed laughing...I swear I had to bite my tongue and kick the wall to stop myself...my sides seriously hurt. He was fired after she complained....and perhaps rightly so despite her outburst.

Cut to another story when I was pulling beers as a favour for a mate next door at the bar when I was home on leave one Christmas. I am a Naval Officer so you can imagine my propensity to put up with idiots....ie. it's non existant. Old guy comes to the bar....
Old guy: 'Can I get a beer (XXXX for us Aussies) and a glass of Reisling?'
Me: 'Sure thing. Now the Reisling isn't the house white, the Chardonnay is, so you will have to order it off the winelist. Understand that it might cost a bit more.'
Old guy: 'Don't backchat mate, get me my bloody reisling!'
*looks of pure contempt at this old guy I was about to dress down...I turned and fetched his order*
Me: *tapping on register* 'One XXXX and a glass of Reisling....that's $7.80 thanks.'
Old guy: 'SEVEN DOLLARS f%#king EIGHTY!?! I could get a whole bottle of wine for that down the road! You can get f&#ked!'
Me: *pours wine and beer down sink in front of him* 'And you can get leave the premises as I don't appreciate your tone. Next please.'
Old guy: *in my face* 'It's not your f%#king job to tell me you don't like my tone! I want my drinks for free!'
Me: 'It's my job to ask you to leave as I think you're intoxicated. Next please.'
*Look of forlorn as I serve next customer and him and wife leave*

My brother worked as an EB Manager when Burning Crusade came out and he had to go to the midnight launch. He doesn't play WoW, but they all wore random Alliance and Horde shirts to 'get in the swing of things'. Anyway, my brother had an Alliance shirt on (not that he really knew what it was) and while he was serving at midnight to the throngs he said 'yes mate can I help you?' to this one nerdy looking fat guy at the counter. The guy goes,
'I will NOT buy my copy of BC from a person in the Alliance!'
My brother? Cool as a cucumber says, 'Good. Get your f&#$ing copy elsewhere. See ya!'...and promptly kicked him out. He quit a few weeks later as he got sick of the idiots.

Thank heavens I don't work in retail...my hat is off to you brave souls.

Repost from copy thread cause I'm stupid and didn't see this. :P

I've worked at a Subway in my student centre for a year now. Lemme tell you this...I have pretty much seen everything that makes working the Lunch shift a living hell. These people are sent by Satan themselves, and only people from Subway can experience some of these:

-I just cleaned that a minute ago! Now you spilled soda all over it!

-No, we do NOT carry Elk meat.

-It is not called "Salad", it is called "Lettuce".

-You would NOT Want it if we carried Cabbage - I seriously doubt you know how that tastes.

-If you say "Salad Dressing", I'm going to give you a really odd look since there is no such thing as "Salad Dressing".

-This is Subway - WE DO NOT CARRY BEER. The place right here has a liquor license.

-This is not a bakery, we do NOT Sell crossaint(sp) rolls, and we are not allowed to give "Fresh Baked" bread in the morning.

-We do NOT give discounts for giving you day-old-bread we're supposed to use first. Again, this is NOT A bakery.

-We do NOT sell bagels, because there are two bagel places in this building. They open way before we do. Get something there.

-We do not give Student Drinks.

-I just cleaned that!

-Turn off that cell phone please.

-PLEASE don't complain about Subway being slow when half our staff is working on a 30 foot party order or when there are only two people working the line for about 50 people and there's no sign of the customers slowing down anytime soon.

-PLEASE don't text in the middle of the line.

-Soembody is talking to you - STOP THE FREAKING TEXTING!

-We do NOT carry Ketchup.

-Because we do not carry ketchup, PLEASE don't make us go to all the trouble of toasting a foot long Ham and Cheese and then just leaving when we don't have Ketchup. You just made us waste food.

-If you're getting six foot longs, CALL AHEAD PLEASE. Don't make 40+ people wait in line.

-You do not want that bread that just came out of the 500+ Degrees oven. Seriously - you do not.

-When you just say "I'll have a meatball sub", you ALSO need to say how long you want it and on what kind of bread.

-When you say "I'll have a six inch on white", you ALSO need to say what kind of sandwich it'll be.

-We do NOT Sell hamburgers - there is a hamburger grille upstairs.

-We also are NOT allowed to sell pizzas because of how much it'd gum the line up, and because there is a pizza place right there.

-We did not carry Swiss cheese the last time you asked us yesterday, we are not going to start carrying it now.

-PUT THAT DARN CELL PHONE DOWN.

-If you say "Chipotle Mayo", then you best expect Mayonaise on it since it is NOT mayo.

-We do not carry Okra - Do you see it on the vein?

-I do not even know what a Gherkin is - do you think we carry it?

-Spinach is NOT a kind of lettuce.

-Bacon and Cheese are NOT Vegetables.

-We do not care about how much better Quiznos does it - you're still coming HERE and getting it TOASTED.

-There is nothing that annoys us more than people who cannot make up their mind.

-SPEAK LOUD AND CLEAR. If you just grunt when I ask what kind of bread you want, I am going to ask AGAIN.

-Your friend is RIGHT there - you don't need to be YELLING AT THEM because we hvae to talk over it.

-You don't HAVE to talk through your boyfriend and have him order everything - unless you suffer from Chronic Mumbling Syndrome, you can talk as well.

-PLEASE DON'T HOLD UP THE DARN LINE BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!

-There is no such thing as Bacon made from Roast Beef.

-STOP HOLDING UP THE LINE WITH YOUR TEXTING!

-I just cleaned that!

-We do not serve Fries - we have Chips.

-Please do not say "yes" when I ask if you want Chips or a drink and then say "WAIT I didn't order those!"

-a $5 foot long deal does NOT Apply to six-inches.

-PLEASE don't sing that stupid $5 foot long song.

-Be nice to the person behind the counter - we do this for shit pay and we don't wanna be here any more than you do.

-If you call me some white racial slang, I am going to ask you to leave due to disrespect. There IS such thing as racism against WHITE people.

-And the reason your $5 foot long is not $5 is because of TAX. Everybody has to pay it.

-When I say that a Chicken Bacon Ranch is no longer a $5 foot long, that does NOT mean you will still pay $5 for it. $5 for how much stuff goes on that is Grand Theft.

-You can NOT get a $5 foot long that's "Half BMT half Tuna".

-Please turn that iPod off.

-Do not get angry at us for not speaking loud enough when you're wearing $50 headphones that I bet are noise-canceling.

-Take those Earbuds OFF.

-TURN THAT CELL PHONE OFF DAMMIT.

-We do not make Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches.

-we do not carry Pumpernickel.

-We do not carry Donuts.

-If you just say "Sauce" when we ask that, we're gonna ask "What Kind?".

-There is a sign that shows all the sauces in front of your face - READ IT.

-There is a sign that lists all the foot longs that are still $5 in front of you - READ IT.

-There is also a sign that shows the "Sub of the Day" on the vein.

-And last but not least, please don't ask what kind of cheese we have when there is one of thsoe signs in front of you like all the others.

-If you don't know what something is, just say "Whatever that stuff is next to the thing I DO recognize". don't point to it since we can't see it from your point of view.

-PLEASE do NOT ask if we're still doing the $5 foot long deal when we are wearing $5 foot long TEE SHIRTS and you're standing RIGHT NEXT TO A $5 FOOT LONG BANNER THAT IS AT LEAST TWO METERS TALL!!!

-PLEASE do not ask if we're doing Breakfast sandwiches if you're standing next to a "Serving Breakfast" and you're walking in at 8:30 AM.

-When someone in a Subway uniform is eating a sandwich or coming out of the bathroom, they are NOT Slacking off from work - they are on BREAK.

-If that burned cookie is at least good enough for you to shove in your face, it's edible.

-We haven't carried Peanut Butter cookies since march - we aren't gonna carry them now especially after someone got an allergy triggered because it was processed in the same factory as a peanut butter cookie.

-IF you order 6 loaves of bread, you WILL Be charged.

-If you order a "6 inch Fresh Baked Bun", you WILL be charged for it.

-To the Children: SHUT UP. Mommy's busy since you likely can't order for yourselves.

-The end of the line starts at the end, you do NOT order at the register unless you are ordering a Party Sub for later.

-Please don't ask us to make the special kind of white-wheat-braided bread for a 30 foot party sub that you're gonna pick up within an HOUR.

-Please give us at least one day's notice before ordering a party sub.

-TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE. I don't care if your dad just died, you can at least step out of the line for a few minutes for a call that's so important.

-And if you're holding up the line to have phone sex, then you best be going back to the end of the line since we're gonna ignore you.

-Asking if you want it toasted or if you want a copy of the receipt is a simple Yes or No question. And if you just answer with a grunt or a squeak, we'll have to ask again because that is not an option.

-We do not sell sixteen inch sandwiches.

-You seriously want to toast the Mustard? Good luck it's only gonna be about 600 degrees when you bite into it.

-Because we have Meatballs, that does NOT mean we have freaking spaghetti.

-We do not sell PEPSI products when we have COKE all over the soda fountain.

-If you don't see a kind of chips there, then that means we don't have it.

-We can NOT toast a salad. Why would you even want that in the first place?

-And no we can't stir-fry it either. Do you see an oven for that?

-We also cannot toast a wrap.

-This is SUBWAY. We do not serve, of all things, TACOS. Especially when there's a Taco Bell upstairs.

-Yes yes I know. You fought in Vietnam. Yes we know you lost your leg to Agent orange and have probably suffered extreme lung damage. Yes we know you were spat on because the idiots back then thought you actually WANTED to be drafted. You still have to pay for your food like the rest of us.

-Being in the Special Forces or being an Air Force Veteran also does not mean you get a discount.

-You may be in the ROTC, but you're still paying as much for your food as everyone else is.

-Women do NOT. GET. A BLOODY DISCOUNT.

-If you don't see an M&M cookie on display, then we likely don't have it.

-Please don't pay for a $20+ order with pennies.

-From living in an age in which pretty much every food service place has a huge sign reading, "We do not accept bills larger than a 20", you should know that by now.

-"No checks" means exactly what it says - WE DO NOT TAKE PERSONAL CHECKS.

-I just told the last 4 people that we are out of herbs and cheese bread. And no we are NOT gonna hold up the line so we can make you some fresh bread.

-You think you can do better than we are? Get back here, put on some gloves and get to work.

-I know it's 8 AM, but that's no reason to talk in mumbles and grunts like you're drunk off of your ass.

-No, our meat is not raw.

-The oven has been turned off hours ago. We are nearly closing. We are NOT going to wait an hour for the oven to warm you up and then cook you something "Fresh".

-No, you may not purchase cookie dough from us.

-We don't carry T bones. What do you think this is, a sit-down?

-There is a yellow sign that says "wet floor", and it is placed in the middle of the floor in plain view. If you fall down because you didn't see it, it is not our fault for irresponsibly mopping the floor. Nor is it the water's fault for refusing to evaporate.

-Because we do not carry ketchup, PLEASE don't make us go to all the trouble of toasting a foot long Ham and Cheese and then just leaving when we don't have Ketchup. You just made us waste food.

You call that a waste of food, I call that free food. When I worked at McDonald's back in the day, I'd always jack the food that customers abandoned. Mmmm freebies.

I thought working at McDonald's was bad until I went into a Subway and saw what you guys have to put up with. Brave souls all of you.

I work part time at McDonald's, a customer once asked me if we still do Happy Meals, I stared at him for a bit then said yes.

Note : There's a reason we still don't have 2008 diaries. It's FUCKING OCTOBER, so don't get so upset you scum.

Sorry, just needed to say that after today.

Digitalpotato:

-If you say "Salad Dressing", I'm going to give you a really odd look since there is no such thing as "Salad Dressing".

-If you say "Chipotle Mayo", then you best expect Mayonaise on it since it is NOT mayo.

-And no we can't stir-fry it either. Do you see an oven for that?

OK, so these range from wtf to not really...
- Salad Dressing? It most certainly exists.
- You better expect mayo, because you're not getting it!
- Do you understand the concept of Stir Fry? Granted, you couldn't do that either...but an oven?