Answer the question of the ages. Pie or Cake?

Obviously, I am a pie person, but I do like some cakes. While I do enjoy some cakes, I believe that cheesecake - a misnomer, as it is actually a PIE from the custard family - is the more important and ultimately superior sector-shaped dessert. That's right, cheesecake is a PIE!!!

First, delivery. Cakes crumble and often disintegrate at the slightest provocation not having the fortitude to withstand handling. Cheesecakes, on the other hand, were first conceived during the Middle Ages as a formidable (and tasty) siege weapon. To this day this formidable custard retains the same cohesion that allowed this ancient custard to be flung from catapults at defenders upon the walls.

Second, topping. While the cheesecake is clearly tasty enough to enjoy unadorned (unlike the cake which must be frosted), a myriad of flavors and toppings have emerged to enhance our pie eating experience. Furthermore, while the cake frosting has devolved into a hideously colored mishmash of food coloring, powdered sugar and vegetable shortening, the cheesecake topping has remained true and pure---caramel, chocolate and fruits sauces.

Finally, two words: graham crackers. Really, need I say more?

Here's a heads-up: The Escapist doesn't really like VS threads here. PM a moderator (wilsoncrazybed, nilcypher) to lock it for you.

Although cake wins any day.

I was thinking of making this thread. Oh well. Anyway, I chose cake. Cheesecake is good but I don't think any pie really beats a heart attack-on-a-plate chocalate fudge cake.
Secondly, my thoughts on American biscuit naming - Graham Crackers? Aren't they the US equivalent of the ubiquitous digestive? Clearly Digestive biscuit is more appropriate. Crackers are thin and crispy. Another thing, cookies. On american TV shows I have seen all normal biscuits referred to as 'cookies'. In Britain, a cookie is a particular type of biscuit, usually in the chocolate chip variety and are the best catagory in biscuits. It irritates me for some reason to see rank and file biscuits called cookies. Oh well, biscuit rant over. Sorry.

I don't really like pie, so hand me a big slice of lie.

Cake rules all!!

EAT MORE PIE!
Pie needs to be brought back.

Pie...
I made a pie thread too...

Custard pies...

I dunno because I hate most types of cake, except chocolate cake obviously, seriously if people stood on street corners selling it, I would never have any money. And secondly what type of pie? Like savory or sweet, because I love steak/chicken pies but can't stand that many sweet ones, except apple or cherry ones.

Wait, what kind of lies? If its chocolate or vanilla then cake all the way, but if not no preference.

joswie:
Wait, what kind of lies? If its chocolate or vanilla then cake all the way, but if not no preference.

What type of lies are there?

mmmm... cake.

cheesecake. I don't know which category that falls under, so I put both.

pie. its what chuck norris would do

GAH! Stop with pie and cake and cookies! What the hell is with this internet phenominon where someone thinks they're a GENIUS for saying these words.
They're nice treats okay. Get over it! What is the big deal?

Cake.
Whoever makes the first Portal joke will receive a punch via E-mail.
I totally can. Try me.

Surely this should be Cake or Death...

I like compan-... Cake! (If cheesecake is a pie then it's one damn good one! I LOVE IT!!!)

I wonder if the catch phrase in Portal 2 will be "a pie is a lie" and then "the pizza is a lie"... that would break my heart (the pizza)!

Gee, I guess I am going to be punched :p

I want a cookie cake pie...
that's a pie made from cake with cookies in it. for those who do not fathom the sheer GENIUS of this marvelous recipe.

I like 'em all I got a sweet tooth and a bad case of the munchies.

I voted my cake, and I'll eat it too.

The thing about cakes is they're fluffy and pure sugar, which is what I'm usually looking for when I want cake.

I dispute the definition of cheesecake as a pie. Pies require some form of pastry that partially or fully encases a filling. Cheesecake is in a seperate category of other miscellaneous desserts such as baked alaska, or shortbread.

Pies have a lot more versatility. They can be served as a starter, a main course, or a pudding, with a virtually infinite choice in filling. There is a wide variety in the form of pie. Tarts, mince pies, meat pies, pasties, and strudel can all be considered pies. While cakes sport a similar range in form - layer cake, swiss rolls, doughnuts, cupcakes, etc. - they all are used for the same function; a sweet treat. The choice in flavour is a great deal more limited. They commonly use cream or icing, and are impossible to eat in large portions, due to their inherently sweet, sickly nature. Moreover, cake is far from ideal for use as pudding. Because of its nature, cake is often necessarily heavy; a poor trait, if you intend to use it as a follow-up dish.

Weighing up the choices, the answer is clearly waffles.

Edit:

Surely this should be Cake or Death...

Yes. Yes, this finalises it. You are now, without a doubt, my favourite staff member. You were pretty high up there before, but this basically seals the deal.

I love them both so much. Apple pie and red velvet cake with butter cream icing are both just incredible.

Pie!

Cake. Some pies are healthy, this is unacceptable.

Cake made of pie.

/thread

I could make billions off this...To the patent office!!

captainwillies:
pie. its what chuck norris would do

Put me down for cake then.

poleboy:
Cake. Some pies are healthy, this is unacceptable.

Is carrot cake healthy? I always stayed away from it because it has carrots in it and carrots seem like a silly thing to put in a cake. I wonder if it tastes funny.

Somebody just had to reference the meme created by Rooster Teeth.

I say pie, but I wonder why someone didn't make this earlier.

Or did they...

Are vienna biscuits considered cakes?

They are the oval-shaped biscuits with one end dipped in dark chocolate that you find in coffe shops or cafes.

Guess which one I chose.

Piemaster:
Guess which one I chose.

Neither because you're diabetic? Right?

aswiftlytiltingreality:

Piemaster:
Guess which one I chose.

Neither because you're diabetic? Right?

A bit off there.

Piemaster:

aswiftlytiltingreality:

Piemaster:
Guess which one I chose.

Neither because you're diabetic? Right?

A bit off there.

*stares at Piemaster's username* .....cake?

aswiftlytiltingreality:

poleboy:
Cake. Some pies are healthy, this is unacceptable.

Is carrot cake healthy? I always stayed away from it because it has carrots in it and carrots seem like a silly thing to put in a cake. I wonder if it tastes funny.

Depends. If you do it right, carrot cake has lots of sugar in it and icing. If you do it wrong, you are a traitor to all of cake-kind.