I wrote this for my blog, and thought I would share it here and maybe get some feedback and opinions. It's not a review of Disaster Movie because I have not seen it, moreover it's a musing on if we'll ever see the last of this crap, and how we might speed up the process of getting rid of it for good.

Blog Entry
"Title aside, Disaster Movie may be the first Airplane!-style parody that has no overriding concept beyond...skewering a bunch of recent hit films. It should have been called I Love the First Half of 2008. Since many of the targets (Cloverfield, Hancock, Kung Fu Panda) already have a cheeky self-consciousness, the comedy rarely seems more than a hasty patchwork of cheap-shot allusions. But a few arrows hit their marks. The movie is merciless sending up Juno's self-satisfied hipster gobbledygook, and it's quite funny to see Hannah Montana still promoting her tie-in products as she lies crushed and dying under a meteor. (Ratin: C+)"
- Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

Owen Gleiberman is responsible for the most positive review Disaster Movie has received thus far, and it still registers as a rotten failure. I'm not going to write about the quality of the movie, or who the movie appeals to, or muse about the repercussions this film will have on western culture. Partly because you probably don't need me to tell you that it's a pile of shit, but mostly because I have not seen it, and probably never will. What interests me more is the financial performance of this film, and the possibility that maybe the entire world has had enough of this.

People often wonder aloud why Hollywood keeps on churning out crap like the 'genre movie' series when there are thousands of other half baked ideas more worthy to be put to celluloid. My answer is simple, and exceptionally easy to come up with: Hollywood is in the business of making money, not art or great movies.

While the occasional great big budget film like The Dark Knight, Titanic, or even the Harry Potter series, manages to rake in hundreds of millions, it doesn't change the fact that those films are very expensive to create and market, and there's a long profit gestation period. You have a better chance of exponential earnings when you bank on cheapo low budget films that might spark a revolution, and even if they do tank, losses are minimum. Mad Max (1979 Australian film starring Mel Gibson) had the highest profit-to-cost ratio for twenty years until The Blair Witch Project in 1999. Mad Max was also cheap, an international success, and totally fucking awesome.

Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans, all follow that same vain in that they're incredibly cheap, wasting no money on gimmicks like big name stars, special effects, or even passable costumes and makeup. Those four movies all had a budget of between $20 million to $35 million, and made back a good chunk of that, if not all of it, on the first weekend when they all opened in the top spot.

Now we have Disaster Movie, proudly following in the tradition of ham handedly assembled low budget spletch, except this time nobody cares. It opened in seventh place with less than seven million dollars to show for it, almost guaranteeing that it'll quietly slink away in the night. It's not like Disaster Movie had any real competition this week either. Tropic Thunder is still number one, and that came out three weeks ago. Even Babylon A.D, a film that the director verbally assaulted and disparaged before the critics even got a chance, fared better on the weekend annually known as "nothing good is coming out."

Could it really be that we've seen the last of these movies when rumour has it that 'Spy Movie' is just around the corner? Since these films are no longer either passable or profitable, we might just be out of the woods.
End of Blog entry

In summary, while the well of crude humour and fart jokes can go on forever, the amount of money to be made from the particular brand of humour offered in the 'genre Movie' is apparently drying up. What do you think?

What I wanna know is how why they bothered calling the film Disaster Movie, when every clip I've been shown has nothing to do with the disaster genre. It's like all they have to do now is pick a random movie genre and string together a bunch of pop culture references that have nothing to do with each other, or anything for that matter.

Maet:
In summary, while the well of crude humour and fart jokes can go on forever, the amount of money to be made from that well is apparently drying up. What do you think?

No, I refuse to believe that crude humor can lose profitability. I simply think that this particular "franchise" is doing it wrong.

Sophmoric humor will never die as long as 13 year olds grace this earth.

Great blog entry, but, this kind of thing is never going to die. Sure, the genre movies may, but that kind of movie won't

Given what both of you said, I changed the last line to refer to the 'genre Movie' brand of humour, and not crude humour in general since there will likely always be an audience for that in one form or another.

the monopoly guy:
Sophmoric humor will never die as long as 13 year olds grace this earth.

If I was a more optimistic man I'd interpret this as something sinister

Blame Leslie Nielson

Didn't Meet the Spartans come out like 7-8 months ago? My friends try to tell me about a funny part in one of these movies, and every single time I say something like,"What? That's not funny and didn't make sence."

I hate these films and everything they stand for. Not funny, not clever, and DEFINITELY not worthy of a cinema showing. That fact that "Meet the Spartans" was top of the box office in the states alone makes me all dizzy!! WHO FINDS THIS FUNNY?! Really?! I had about 10 people in the room to watch one of these films because of one untrusted source, just to see if it was worth watching... we lost 7 viewers. Purely because they had to go home. The other 3 lived in the building! How do they have the money to make such trash?!

the monopoly guy:
Blame Leslie Nielson

I actually went out of my way to not mention Superhero Movie because the directors/screenwriters weren't Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (the guys who are responsible for every other 'genre Movie' I mentioned). If anyone is to blame, it's them.

you know, this kinda movie can work when it's done well:

look at flying high and Loaded Weapon 1

Are you guys saying a cow falling on Iron Man isn't hilarious? I mean it's a COW falling on IRON MAN! Har har they're so clever!

These movies are nothing but trash, pure and simple. They have absolutely no redeeming features and are simply not funny. The parody films of old were funny because they were clever in using the source material and making fun of the way people talk (the old school 'Sherly' joke in Airplane being one) and other such things. These new movies are not in the least bit clever or funny, they use anything they can get their hands on (internet memes, stupid pop culture references that make no sense etc etc) and just chuck it into a half baked script retelling the movie(s) it is parodying.

To sum it up, bleh.

I and a friend of mine went to see Meet the Spartans using movie vouchers his dad had acquired from his job. That factor slightly mitigated its shittiness, but I still found myself wanting my money back. Even though I didn't spend any. And that was the last movie from Friedberg and Seltzer that I will ever view.

Here's a less positive review than Owen Glieberman's which I completely agree with.

Friedberg and Seltzer wouldn't know art, film-making or humour if it bit them in the arse. If the money is in fact going, then let's just hold onto our copies of Fight Club, of Resevoir Dogs, of Finding Nemo or whatever, and ride this thing out.

the monopoly guy:
Blame Leslie Nielson

Absurdism is beautiful if you don't go too far down the path of vulgarity. Loaded weapon 1, Wrongfully Accused and Shriek If You Know are 3 of the funniest movies I've ever seen, and they're simply protracted absurdity in the form of sight gags and lampshade hanging.

Maet:

the monopoly guy:
Blame Leslie Nielson

I actually went out of my way to not mention Superhero Movie because the directors/screenwriters weren't Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (the guys who are responsible for every other 'genre Movie' I mentioned). If anyone is to blame, it's them.

Agreed. If you see there name on it, it usually means stay away.

Those movies fascinate me... What I really wonder is what people will think of them in 100 years. I mean, they are so utterly dependant on pop culture that someone lookint at it in the future would probably have to sit there with whatever wikipedia like thing and constantly look up references.

I definitely agree that the Airplane movies weren't necessarily "high-brow" but they have aged rather well. They are still funny even though some of the more sophomoric jokes and pop culture stuff is outdated.

Surely you can't be serious.
I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley.

There's a problem in the cockpit.
What is it?
Its a small room at the front of the plane, but that's not important right now.

Shivari:
Are you guys saying a cow falling on Iron Man isn't hilarious? I mean it's a COW falling on IRON MAN! Har har they're so clever!

I will admite I chuckled even though it was just sarcasm taken from their own joke style. I hate those movies.

Who approves this shit? What's next "Animated Movie"? Oh crap, I doomed us all.
Anyway, I know this is a cheap laugh, but this movie is a disaster.

Now stuff like that IS funny!

Leslie Nielson movies were funny, but didn't they kinds start the whole thing?

the monopoly guy:
Leslie Nielson movies were funny, but didn't they kinds start the whole thing?

The earliest of the genre that I know of is Kentucky Fried Movie, done by the same guys who soon afterward did Nielsen's first comedy, Airplane! (Their exclamation point, not mine.)

Sadly, the genre's pretty mined out at the moment.

-- Steve

Airplane and it's sequel are among some of my favourite movies, I have no idea what happened to the genre. Now I get through life by creating a mental black hole to everything related to these "genre movies"...it makes me happy...

Was good once upon a time but getting repetitive.

After the original Scary Movie, this genre of film has fallen short of all expectations. Though the first Scary Movie was outrageous, it is still the only gem in the style.

I liked scary movies 1-3 (3 was kinda meh anyway) I also loved airplane. While my friends and I could all kind of chuckle at Scary Movie 4, we all agreed that meet the spartans SUCKED bigtime, and guess what we are all 13-14 so don't blame this shit of young adolencents

Anton P. Nym:
The earliest of the genre that I know of is Kentucky Fried Movie, done by the same guys who soon afterward did Nielsen's first comedy, Airplane! (Their exclamation point, not mine.)

Wow, I might have to look for that one. Have you seen it? Is it any good?

Eh, the Scary Movie series wasn't that bad, but I agree that anything else needs to be buried with the creators in the desert next to E.T.

Maet:

Anton P. Nym:
Kentucky Fried Movie

Wow, I might have to look for that one. Have you seen it? Is it any good?

I saw a clip, but not the whole thing. The clip looked funny, though, and I did enjoy the sequel Amazon Women on the Moon.

-- Steve

Nice work Maet, you convey your hatred in a very well-mannered fashion, unlike me. I HATE THESE FUCKING MOVIES.

I just hope that the Vague Genre movie dies within a year.

That, or those two directors die in some sort of horrifying and extraordinarily painful car wreck.

Shivari:
Are you guys saying a cow falling on Iron Man isn't hilarious? I mean it's a COW falling on IRON MAN! Har har they're so clever!

Oh hahaha. (wipes tear) Where do they get their material?

Darth Mobius:

Imitation Saccharin :
Wrongfully Accused

Greatest Parody Movie EVER! BY FAR!

You saying it's better than Flying High?! Surely you can't be serious! (Yes I went there)

I don't know what form of word can describe my hatred towards these people. So I'll just say this:
"I hope your liver dies! I hope it's painful! Thanks for dumbing down society!"