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BANNED  Posts: 99 Joined: 25 Oct 2008     | |
Beat Writer  Posts: 137 Joined: 12 Mar 2008  | Not only men cheat. |
Vault Legend  Posts: 2205 Joined: 30 Jul 2008     | I must blink in a touch of confusion. This is among the more sexist topics I've seen, at least in meta-message, but it's penned against guys by a guy? Huh? As far as the cheating goes, I haven't so I'm with the 0% hovering somewhere in the back of the room, sipping on milk and wondering why your concept of punctuation is so very foreign and alien to me. Also, this is hardly a discussion, as it's more a laundry list of who does what, there's not even a "why" to be discussed here. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3310 Joined: 10 Oct 2008    | Why do women cheat? This should really be, 'Why do people cheat?'. |
BANNED Posts: 99 Joined: 25 Oct 2008 | The sex factor is a key reason behind this. Physical intimacy and attraction tends to fade away if you spend a prlonged period of time with just one person. Not to say it is justified, cheating is the worst thing one could ever do. Breaking up/getting a divorce is much better in this regard. User was banned for: Why women wear tight dresses?. (Permanent) |
BANNED Posts: 99 Joined: 25 Oct 2008 | Women arent completely innocent in this matter, either :P User was banned for: Why women wear tight dresses?. (Permanent) |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 668 Joined: 16 May 2008   | I find the sexist attitude offensive, but i'll let that slide. People, not just men cheat so get your facts right. In addition what is this your 6th thread that you've started today. I don't think you understand the point of a forum, don't just post random things and say 'discuss'. By all means post something from an outside source but throw something in that you have written, your opinions, why you think what has been said is true or total crap. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2664 Joined: 4 Nov 2007  | Men cheat because monogamy is a waste of their seed-spreading capability. Women cheat because though they've often settled down with Reliable Care-taker Male, their offspring could benefit from Alpha Male genes. Thus their children get the love and support of the better parent, and the genes of the better specimen. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1710 Joined: 2 Jan 2008     |
Thank you. I can't wait to use this. |
Press Junketeer  Posts: 396 Joined: 8 Mar 2008     |
agreed, i personally have had 2 of my girlfriends cheat on me. It hurts, it sucks, and it makes you think of bad things, there for I would never ever EVER cheat on my girlfriend because i know how it feels to be cheated on. Also another reason to back up what Amico said, my best friends last girlfriend cheated on him.........with 5 other guys while they were dating! |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2275 Joined: 13 Sep 2007   | I will never, ever, cheat. That is enough for me. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1710 Joined: 2 Jan 2008 | People who claim that they will "never, ever cheat" are ignorant. Besides, cheating is only ever bad if you get caught. |
Beat Writer Posts: 137 Joined: 12 Mar 2008 |
Well said. |
Paperboy  Posts: 43 Joined: 20 Oct 2008    | People cheat because it is exciting. Thats why you need to keep the excitement in a relationship, like I do.. thus I have never cheated... I lie of course.. there was that one time on my SNES. Down, R, Up, L, Y, B at the Capcom Logo. |
On the Record  Posts: 5977 Joined: 7 Feb 2008   | Because monogamy is biologically unsound. Hence the desire to mass procreate is built in. Monogamy is a biproduct of Agriculture and Property Ownership. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3310 Joined: 10 Oct 2008 |
Bullshit. I will never cheat either, EVER. I would break up/get divorced before I ever did such a thing. |
Paperboy  Posts: 41 Joined: 16 Oct 2008     | Sorry but I'm curious as to why you think this is a sexist topic? He isn't saying that only men cheat, he's just asking the motivations for only men, to say why do people cheat may make the topic too general, isn't it possible that women have different motivations for cheating then men? |
BANNED  Posts: 814 Joined: 23 Apr 2008 | As people posted, cheating is fair game, across the sexes. (pun) At the root of it all, you have to remember that despite what societal constructs and values our brain adopts on a high level, our genetic imperitive is to have sex many times with many different partners, to ensure genetic diversity and survival as a species. Observing primate behvavior, it is commmon for them to pair off into couples, but still have sex outside of the partnership. Since in males it is becomes a territorial issue, they fight off other suitors and keep a 'prime' partner, while still seeking sexual intercourse beyond that. The same is true of females, conversely, but it tends to be less aggressively territorial. I realize that comparing us to our animal cousins is not entirely accurate, since it does not account for the more complicated relationships higher thinking creatures develope within society and civilization. However, I believe it is important to give due attention to the extremely forceful biological prompts we still experience, regardless of cultural conditioning. Consequently, I do not believe we are monogamous creatures 'by nature'. This is the why people cheat, in its most rudimentary sense. User was banned for: Ballad (?) of an ex-goth. (Permanent) |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 108 Joined: 17 Oct 2008   | |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 100 Joined: 29 Jun 2008  | Funny since my last girlfriend cheated on me when she was drunk. People are selfish and don't care about anyone's feelings but their own. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1710 Joined: 2 Jan 2008 |
Yeah, it's easy to say something like that now. But the fact is you don't know what you might do in the future. This is the kind of ignorance I'm talking about. People have it in their mind that the reason that people cheat on their spouses is because they're horrible, evil, sex-crazed lunatics who want nothing more than to emotionally damage their significant other. People who cheat may do so because they feel trapped in a relationship. They may be sexually dissatisfied with their partner, but do not want to talk to them about it because they do not want to risk endangering their marriage. My point is, relationships make people do crazy things. |
Muckraker  Posts: 294 Joined: 19 Jul 2008 | I don't think I'd ever cheat to be honest... but if I did it would probably be down to the emotional dissatisfaction one. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3310 Joined: 10 Oct 2008 |
I all ready feel trapped in a relationship. I am dissatisfied with my partner. I am most likely getting divorced soon. She has all ready cheated on me. I WILL NOT cheat because there is this thing that keeps people from doing shit like that. It is called Integrity. Look it up sometime, it just might improve your life. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2664 Joined: 4 Nov 2007 |
Pretty much. Monogamy is a good concept to enforce in the other partner, because then you have a guarantee that they're giving their genes to only your children. However, if you can get away with something on the side, biology won't judge you. |
On the Record  Posts: 5023 Joined: 28 Feb 2008  | If you can't handle one partner, then don't get married. No one should make someone else suffer like that. The worst part is that the US government doesn't even enforce child support laws half the time. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 3310 Joined: 10 Oct 2008 |
++++++++++++++++++++ |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1514 Joined: 6 Sep 2008 | If a girl ain't putting out anymore, after years of same old same old, what you think a man is going to do? Gotta spread that seed, get it on. You don't want your man cheating? Keep him around then, preferably in the bedroom. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 626 Joined: 12 Sep 2008  | according to unbiased polls, women cheat at rates higher than men. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2487 Joined: 29 Nov 2007    | Because there are just so many good looking fresh ladies out there... |
Anonymous Source  Posts: 10 Joined: 19 Sep 2008 | Because we're not like many of the old generation who stay married to the same person for 50+ years because we don't believe religion and family values will cripple us if we divorce them/cheat. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2275 Joined: 13 Sep 2007 | One, I really do not think I'm ignorant on this. Granted, time changes us, but I am fully capable of handling my sex drive and I never keep anything to myself, so my partner is going to know full well when I'm feeling trapped in a relationship. Also, I think I'm probably gonna go the way of my Mom and Step-dad and only get married after seven years of living in the same house. If that. But really, it simply will not occur to me to cheat. |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 625 Joined: 12 Jul 2008    |
A good friend of mine (Ashlee) had a father who cheated on her mother. After the divorce, the father threw out everything that had belonged to my friend and her sister, then he had his other family move in with him. The pig utterly abandoned his first family. Having seen the suffering that my friend and her mother went through, I can't see myself ever cheating on a significant other. Screw biology! One can argue that we may have a biological affinity to cheating, but the fact that we can choose to resist those urges is part of what makes us higher beings. That and the fact that our emotional urges are just as powerful as our biological urges. That study said that 66% (two-thirds) of the men surveyed felt guilty about what they were doing, which implies that on some level they knew what they were doing was wrong. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1220 Joined: 18 Jun 2008   |
Evidence or it didn't happen. |
On the Record  Posts: 6742 Joined: 10 Apr 2007  |
Yeah, but you could say the same thing about homosexuals who believe it's wrong. The key is to figure out if you're a monogamous or not. If you are, great! If you're not, then find someone who will agree to the kind of 'rules' that you won't feel any strong compulsion to break. Because remember, cheating is breaking the rules, and we're adults in a secular liberal democracy--the rules of a relationship are whatever the people in the relationship decide they are. Cheating is like running a red light--it's wrong because you're breaking rules. But unlike traffic laws, we're all capable of setting our own rules for our relationships. +++++ Why do men cheat? Because they want something new--Bill Mahr hit this one on the head when he said: Hugh Grant had Elizabeth Hurley at home for free, and he wanted to pay for Marvin Hagler in a wig. Men just find women endlessly fascinating, that's all. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1146 Joined: 27 Aug 2008   |
What kind of "evidence" are you basing this on, exactly? You can't make determinations about *human* psychology by looking at the behaviors of *other animals*. You might as well say that geese mate for life so all other birds must do the same thing. Variation between species is *immense*. Not to mention that this kind of thing is absurd given that humans are not psychologically driven primarily by biological urges, which, for us, are frequently contra-survival. As Terry Pratchett put it: "Being human means knowing when not to listen to the monkey." If you want to delve into why anyone does anything, here's a simple guideline: a.) they think they get something out of it, in the simplest sense Now, when it comes to acting stupidly (I place cheating in that category), you have to add a second point: b.) they're evading or think they can escape the bad consequences of their actions So, really, this question boils down to: a. What do they think they're getting out of it? I suspect, but do not know, that the answer to a. is frequently "It feels good" and the answer to b. is "dunno" because people primarily motivated by "it feels good" don't seem to think that far ahead. You also might ask them why they didn't tell off their current S.O. first, but the answer there is probably that breaking up with someone really sucks. So, cheating: Seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, pretending the consequences don't exist. Wow, sounds a lot like the reasons people do a lot of stupid stuff, like drugs. |
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I was too bored, so just for the sake of entertainment!
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Marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman dug through past research on male infidelity and found that most answers came from the wife's point of view. "Wouldn't it make more sense to ask the guys?" he thought.
So for his new book, "The Truth About Cheating," Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and noncheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity -- including what cheating men say could have prevented them from straying. Here, some of his findings:
1 - 48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.
2 - 66% of cheating men report feeling guilt during the affair.
3 - 77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.
4 - Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.
5 - Only 6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after meeting her that same day or night.
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So where do irpian guys set themselves? in which criteria?
One question mark in all cases is enough. -mod