Twilight, a book series about emo vampires and their conflicted lives. Boo hoo.

But apparently, its hip with a lot of people, by which I mean many teenagers, by which I mean many teenage girls.

But as a teenage guy, I couldn't care less. Most guys I know who are seeing it are only doing so with their girlfriends.

So, my question is, what would they have to change in order to make you, a guy see it and enjoy it?

Me, it would take three things.

1) They take out the whiney, emo vampires. Replace them with more cool, Christopher Lee type vampires.

2) Wes Craven must direct.

3) They scrap the whole vampire thing and just make it Scream 4. I can't wait to see it.

Did you hear Randy's coming back?

It's going to be awesome.

I like this idea.

DO WANT

I'm going to go see it so I can complain about it and annoy some people.

I'm also going to go see it as a sort of social experiment, just to see what happens when I ask for a Twilight ticket while wearing a Iron Maiden T-shirt. I think I'll get a lot of strange looks. Should be fun.

Scream - So awesome that it turns a thread about Twilight into a discussion about Scream 4.

Don't doubt its power!

4) Bring Wesley Snipes back as Blade and have him tear the emo vampires up.
Seriously though this movie is going to, inevitably, be le suck. I watched the preview 3 times already to see if i can get why people are so pumped for it and in all honesty it looks worse than "The Happening". The acting is flat, the plot seems dumb, and it looks like it was all shot on a shoe string budget. 10 bucks says that it will get less than 30% on rotten tomatoes.

hungoverbear:
4) Bring Wesley Snipes back as Blade and have him tear the emo vampires up.

This is the prefect answer.

I'd only consider seeing this movie if it the ticket price drooped, and they threw in another, better movie,... and some cake,... and Belgium.

rottenbutter:
I'd only consider seeing this movie if it the ticket price drooped, and they threw in another, better movie,... and some cake,... and Belgium.

And beer and a hooker.

And Blade was killing Emo Vamps by the dozens.

Fire Daemon:
I'm going to go see it so I can complain about it and annoy some people.

I'm also going to go see it as a sort of social experiment, just to see what happens when I ask for a Twilight ticket while wearing a Iron Maiden T-shirt. I think I'll get a lot of strange looks. Should be fun.

Post your review and the interactions here!(in the review section tho)

hungoverbear:
4) Bring Wesley Snipes back as Blade and have him tear the emo vampires up.

I'd pay to see that.
I love how the plot is so stereotypical: I'm an attractive man with features that make an Olympian God jealous and I want you, the plain, average, & not-good-looking girl to be with me for the rest of my life. It really plays on the knight riding on a white horse cliche, but wait
They are Vampires though (ZOMG!!!), So there for it makes the series have a necrophilic quality...

hungoverbear:
4) Bring Wesley Snipes back as Blade and have him tear the emo vampires up.
Seriously though this movie is going to, inevitably, be le suck. I watched the preview 3 times already to see if i can get why people are so pumped for it and in all honesty it looks worse than "The Happening". The acting is flat, the plot seems dumb, and it looks like it was all shot on a shoe string budget. 10 bucks says that it will get less than 30% on rotten tomatoes.

Yeah, this movie looks disappointing, even from the trailers (which are supposed to make the movie look its best!).......I dunno, the trailers all left me with a sense of 'blah,' and quite a bit of cynicism.

hungoverbear:
4)
Seriously though this movie is going to, inevitably, be le suck. I watched the preview 3 times already to see if i can get why people are so pumped for it and in all honesty it looks worse than "The Happening". The acting is flat, the plot seems dumb, and it looks like it was all shot on a shoe string budget. 10 bucks says that it will get less than 30% on rotten tomatoes.

It's going to be a hit, though, no matter what the critics say. People REALLY love this series.

I said Twilight sucks in a hallway.

A girl then walked up to me, and punched me in the face.

I don't think it was a coincidence.

The people should realize that the vampires do not love the humans and are only keeping people around until the vampires get hungry. If the humans want someone to respect their brains they should date a...

I can't finish that pun in good conscience.

Scream 4? Well at least it's not another "I know what you did last summer" movie

Dear god. I knew this type of thread would pop up sometime on the escapist, but I was hoping/praying/performing ritualistic sacrifices to pagan gods that it wouldn't.
For the record, I only ever read the book because my girlfriend told me it was good. I shouldn't have listened.

As an avid reader, the story is filled with three things.
1. Main character bitching
2. Main character gushing about Edward
3. Main character performing various Mary Sues.

About the time that I read that "vampires can't go in the sun because they sparkle" I basically dropped the book as having any sort of literary value. I would be fine with the book if it was attempting to be brain candy, but the whole thing is set up to be a major work of art. It's simplistically written and the language is about average for a thirteen year old. I can not take it as anything other than over-hyped brain candy when I see nothing notable about the writing itself or the storyline.

As a person who has watched and studied classical and some of the greatest films ever made, I'm going to just pronounce this one SOA. Stupid on Arrival. I really try not to judge a book by it's cover (I just realized there was a pun there after I typed it) but i can tell that I would not enjoy it. I can actually enjoy certain romance movies (Casablanca, anyone?) but this will be one that will never get good marks from me. Ever. I might be persuaded that the sound track will be good because there's a lot of music that I like on the soundtrack that's available, or even that the cinematography is well done. But a few decent points on movie with as horrible a story as Twilight will never sum up to be something I will enjoy.

oh, and clarification. It's not about Emo vampires and their conflicted lives. It's about ONE emo vampire and one Emo human who wind up having sex. Throughout the entire first book I was thinking "just let them have sex and get it over with. That's what all the other vampire novels do." Instead, they apparently have sex in the fourth one, and the baby will kill the mother. I don't honestly know all the details since I only ever read the first one.

Rant over/ on topic:
There is nothing they could do to make this movie acceptable to my standards. Personally, there's already enough vampire movies doing it right that I can't be persuaded to lower my standards.

EDIT: Oh wait, this is a gaming community. I don't have to defend myself! THANK YOU JESUS!

Pseudonym2:
The people should realize that the vampires do not love the humans and are only keeping people around until the vampires get hungry. If the humans want someone to respect their brains they should date a...

I can't finish that pun in good conscience.

You're fellow escapees thank you for it.

I did the same thing as gahars except i got kicked in the nuts

smallharmlesskitten:
I did the same thing as gahars except i got kicked in the nuts

Ouch

Sorry, man

ok, well back on the subject of making the movie better.

1) the lead male role edward would have to be played by gerald way or pete wentz. some pop rock icon playing a freaky vampire i could handle better than some harry potter wanna be

2) the vampires would have to mindlessly slaughter a town every 15 minutes

3) it would have to be one of those interactive movies where you can chose to kill every character

4)the lead female would have absolutely no ability to say anything. at all

5)it would have to not follow the plot at all (read all 4 to shut my girlfriend....i regret that week so much)

redhippie93:
ok, well back on the subject of making the movie better.

1) the lead male role edward would have to be played by gerald way or pete wentz. some pop rock icon playing a freaky vampire i could handle better than some harry potter wanna be

2) the vampires would have to mindlessly slaughter a town every 15 minutes

3) if have to be one of those interactive movies where you can chose to kill every character

4)the lead female would have no ability to say anything. at all

5)it would have to not follow the plot at all (read all 4 to shut my girlfriend....i regret that week so much)

Hey, for you're #1, why not have Edward played by Pee-Wee Herman.

That would be sweet.

Things wrong with the Twilight books.
(By the way, I've read the first book because I only complain about media I've read/watched/played/listened to)

-Vampires burn in the sunlight, they do not fucking sparkle.

-Healthy relationships are not built on one party's obsession with the other unless the obsessed happens to be Scott Pilgrim.

-The Girl (Bella, I think it was.) should have just became a vampire in the first book, but she just had such a great life, what with the dumbass dad and the mom who's to lazy to take care of her and all.

-Incest is still incest, even if it's your stepsister.

-The coolest Vampire in the book got like half a chapter of page-time.

Fire Daemon:
I'm going to go see it so I can complain about it and annoy some people.

I'm also going to go see it as a sort of social experiment, just to see what happens when I ask for a Twilight ticket while wearing a Iron Maiden T-shirt. I think I'll get a lot of strange looks. Should be fun.

Good sir.

Please do and tell of the experiment.

you know what, your right. thats perfect

I want to know if there's vampire sex in it.

Just out of curiosity you know...

Jocularity aside-
My impression of the series is not an extremely positive one. My friend read most of the first book and eventually got bored with it. I know if he read most of the book and lost interest, it will take less time for me to loose interest.
Or would it?
(Let's see, my friend also read Harry Potter and the Deathly hollows in one night, and it took me about a week... I guess twilight is about the same size as that book...)
Actually, it would probably take more time for me to loose interest.

You know, I just realised that there were vampires everywhere last summer. I read "The Night Road," (Damn good vampire story) Also found out about "Last Blood," Those Twilight books came out, and I got Vampire the Masaqueraude.

I'm so tempted to write my own vampire story now.

TheKnifeJuggler:
I want to know if there's vampire sex in it.

Just out of curiosity you know...

I think there was in the new book, but it's probably just screwed-up "romance."

Movies based on books won't ever live up to the good expectations of fans, as the fans will criticize the movie on everything they left out or didn't explain well enough. I'd hope everyone's read/watched Harry Potter, as that's a very easy example. I know I was pissed not to see a giant spider at the end of the fourth movie.

This is simply fan service, as imagining things isn't as fun as seeing things played out, no matter the flaws in it. It's definitely a chick flick that, if you might not know better, could be confused for something more... vampire-y?

I've learned to refine my reading tastes of the years, though. Seeing as the series I was just reading, which has over 10 books to its' name, and more coming, I just found out is out of print for the final 4 books, I've turned to other series. Currently reading through the Ender's Game books... Brilliant work...

That has basically nothing to do with anything... just felt like sharing I guess...

Shiuz91:

How do you know what happens to vampires in the light have you seen any?

Incest? what book did you read.

It's mainly just the sparkling. There were thousands upon thousands of options for dealing with the sunlight myth when writing a vampire story, so why the hell would you choose sparkling?

There was the buff vampire who was dating his stepsister.

OverlordSteve:

TheKnifeJuggler:
I want to know if there's vampire sex in it.

Just out of curiosity you know...

I think there was in the new book, but it's probably just screwed-up "romance."

Okay, I've lost interest now.
XD

I will never read, watch, or listen to anything from this series. I won't. You can make it better, I still won't.
I also won't go on an incoherent rant, so that should make some of you happy.

EDIT: Momentous decision just made. I decided to go read a book instead of play WoW for half an hour to do a quick dungeon. I'm making progress!

How to make a twilight movie better... burn the script, spend the funding on blow and hookers then forget all about the stupid concept.

i read the book because my teenage emo sister told me it was awesome. IT WAS SHIT, so i gave up on it 3/4 of the way through. All the girls in my school love it too... I don't get it, and don't blame my Y chromosome.

Jaythulhu:
How to make a twilight movie better... burn the script, spend the funding on blow and hookers then forget all about the stupid concept.

Second with a slight change. Burn the script, pick up Bram Stoker's "Dracula" learn what the REAL vampire romance should be. Hell, if memory serves me right the whole "romance" in that book was coming from female character. Dracula was just a vampire, the way he should be.

EDIT: All girls love it (twilight) because its your standard "pretty mysterious dark and dangerous boy loves average nothing good about her girl."