When girls in school become interested in me, it's usually because they've noticed that I try to keep things fair. And I don't lie.
But then if we actually do get together, it becomes a problem, because I won't always take her side in arguments if she's wrong. And I'll willfully argue against her, which is apparently not cool in society today. And chances are she's Christian, because this is Oklahoma, and I'm definitely an atheist. Also, "Would you say I'm hot?" "I'd say you're pretty average." "I hate you!"
What the hell ever happened to telling the truth, no matter what it is. Are people today just too weak for reality or something? What's so wrong with 'average' anyway? Most people are average, that's why it's called average. No matter who you are, the odds of you being 'average' far surpass the odds of you being above or below average.
The problem is that she wants to be the prettiest girl in the world in your eyes. Thats the whole point of why she asks you that - she is not asking "Comparing the individual features, do I match the modern standard of beauty better than other girls?". She is asking "Are your feelings for me strong enough that I look beautiful to you?".
I agree and disagree. She wants to be the prettiest world in the other's eyes, but I think he did the right thing. Otherwise he's just telling her she's beautiful to make her feel good and while this is all well and good if the intentions are correct, if he's doing it to get in her pants or just because she wants to hear it then there's no real purpose. Honesty is still the best choice.
Yes, and I do respect his honesty, but - and this is really the major thing - if he was in said relationship he really should have felt it. And he should also relize she has every right to be pissed off.
Perhaps the correct answer would be "You're certainly the most beautiful girl in my life!" and then you should be able to avoid lying while still making her feel pretty...tactful solutuion eh?
Indigo: Depends on the person. Some people date because they really feel that the person in question is a person they would spend the rest of their life with. Some people date because they want a regular source of sex. The problems do not arise so much from these varying viewpoints, as much as when they collide. If a girl wants to be told she's pretty and needs that reassurance, she should date someone who would do it. I.E you and me. If the person she's dating is cold, tends to be brutally honest and calculating rather than emotional, she should expect no more from him. Ice doesn't melt just because you like it.
EDIT: I agree he should have sen it coming however.
simple, its a conspiracy. Women are specifically built by the powers that be to confuse the shit out of men, its just a fact. They claim not to understand us...but its a lie, they know everything about us and can read us like a book, and they enjoy asking men questions like "do you think i look fat?" just to watch them squirm. Have you ever wondered why all the print on womens' T-shirts is always on the breasts? It's simply because they wanna mess with our heads, u wanna read it but the challenge if figuring out how to read it without getting caught, because you know she doesnt think your actually READING.
*shakes head* That's quite a generalization and a negative one at that. Way to show me (a woman :o ) how mature you are :]
He's correct, actually. The question "Does this make me look fat" is not an honest question, but instead a test. Yet women ask it all the time. Saying yes would have obvious results, while saying no makes the woman think you are lying. This is simply the most common example of such a test, while billions of more subtle ones are used on men as well. I can link you to some psychology articles on the issue if you wish.
simple, its a conspiracy. Women are specifically built by the powers that be to confuse the shit out of men, its just a fact. They claim not to understand us...but its a lie, they know everything about us and can read us like a book, and they enjoy asking men questions like "do you think i look fat?" just to watch them squirm. Have you ever wondered why all the print on womens' T-shirts is always on the breasts? It's simply because they wanna mess with our heads, u wanna read it but the challenge if figuring out how to read it without getting caught, because you know she doesnt think your actually READING.
*shakes head* That's quite a generalization and a negative one at that. Way to show me (a woman :o ) how mature you are :]
Well, he's not completely wrong. I have met girls who try to find stuff to get upset and sulk about. Whether thats because they like the attention, or it's a power game, or they're just bitchy, I have no clue. I know the women who do this are probably a minority, but christ, they give all women a bad name >_>
If I didn't have a killer migraine, I'd probably be better off at giving you all answers. But right now my mind is drawing a blank.
Some girls like honesty, others just want to feel appreciated. Telling a girl she isn't hot will probably upset her. But like someone said before, saying something like "baby, you're so beautiful. I can't tell you enough" is always win. That's what my exbf used to say all the time and it really made me feel special.
When girls in school become interested in me, it's usually because they've noticed that I try to keep things fair. And I don't lie.
But then if we actually do get together, it becomes a problem, because I won't always take her side in arguments if she's wrong. And I'll willfully argue against her, which is apparently not cool in society today. And chances are she's Christian, because this is Oklahoma, and I'm definitely an atheist. Also, "Would you say I'm hot?" "I'd say you're pretty average." "I hate you!"
What the hell ever happened to telling the truth, no matter what it is. Are people today just too weak for reality or something? What's so wrong with 'average' anyway? Most people are average, that's why it's called average. No matter who you are, the odds of you being 'average' far surpass the odds of you being above or below average.
The problem is that she wants to be the prettiest girl in the world in your eyes. Thats the whole point of why she asks you that - she is not asking "Comparing the individual features, do I match the modern standard of beauty better than other girls?". She is asking "Are your feelings for me strong enough that I look beautiful to you?".
I agree and disagree. She wants to be the prettiest world in the other's eyes, but I think he did the right thing. Otherwise he's just telling her she's beautiful to make her feel good and while this is all well and good if the intentions are correct, if he's doing it to get in her pants or just because she wants to hear it then there's no real purpose. Honesty is still the best choice.
Yes, and I do respect his honesty, but - and this is really the major thing - if he was in said relationship he really should have felt it. And he should also relize she has every right to be pissed off.
Perhaps the correct answer would be "You're certainly the most beautiful girl in my life!" and then you should be able to avoid lying while still making her feel pretty...tactful solutuion eh?
Indigo: Depends on the person. Some people date because they really feel that the person in question is a person they would spend the rest of their life with. Some people date because they want a regular source of sex. The problems do not arise so much from these varying viewpoints, as much as when they collide. If a girl wants to be told she's pretty and needs that reassurance, she should date someone who would do it. I.E you and me. If the person she's dating is cold, tends to be brutally honest and calculating rather than emotional, she should expect no more from him. Ice doesn't melt just because you like it.
EDIT: I agree he should have sen it coming however.
Jockslap: makes sense to me.
Like I said, if he was in a relationship he should have had the former feelings. I am opposed in a major way to those kind of casual sex relationships.
simple, its a conspiracy. Women are specifically built by the powers that be to confuse the shit out of men, its just a fact. They claim not to understand us...but its a lie, they know everything about us and can read us like a book, and they enjoy asking men questions like "do you think i look fat?" just to watch them squirm. Have you ever wondered why all the print on womens' T-shirts is always on the breasts? It's simply because they wanna mess with our heads, u wanna read it but the challenge if figuring out how to read it without getting caught, because you know she doesnt think your actually READING.
*shakes head* That's quite a generalization and a negative one at that. Way to show me (a woman :o ) how mature you are :]
simple, its a conspiracy. Women are specifically built by the powers that be to confuse the shit out of men, its just a fact. They claim not to understand us...but its a lie, they know everything about us and can read us like a book, and they enjoy asking men questions like "do you think i look fat?" just to watch them squirm. Have you ever wondered why all the print on womens' T-shirts is always on the breasts? It's simply because they wanna mess with our heads, u wanna read it but the challenge if figuring out how to read it without getting caught, because you know she doesnt think your actually READING.
*shakes head* That's quite a generalization and a negative one at that. Way to show me (a woman :o ) how mature you are :]
i dont know if you noticed but it was a joke...
actually, since it appears im right, ive decided it wasnt a joke but a subconscious stroke of genious and that's the story im sticking with.
When girls in school become interested in me, it's usually because they've noticed that I try to keep things fair. And I don't lie.
But then if we actually do get together, it becomes a problem, because I won't always take her side in arguments if she's wrong. And I'll willfully argue against her, which is apparently not cool in society today. And chances are she's Christian, because this is Oklahoma, and I'm definitely an atheist. Also, "Would you say I'm hot?" "I'd say you're pretty average." "I hate you!"
What the hell ever happened to telling the truth, no matter what it is. Are people today just too weak for reality or something? What's so wrong with 'average' anyway? Most people are average, that's why it's called average. No matter who you are, the odds of you being 'average' far surpass the odds of you being above or below average.
The problem is that she wants to be the prettiest girl in the world in your eyes. Thats the whole point of why she asks you that - she is not asking "Comparing the individual features, do I match the modern standard of beauty better than other girls?". She is asking "Are your feelings for me strong enough that I look beautiful to you?".
I agree and disagree. She wants to be the prettiest world in the other's eyes, but I think he did the right thing. Otherwise he's just telling her she's beautiful to make her feel good and while this is all well and good if the intentions are correct, if he's doing it to get in her pants or just because she wants to hear it then there's no real purpose. Honesty is still the best choice.
Yes, and I do respect his honesty, but - and this is really the major thing - if he was in said relationship he really should have felt it. And he should also relize she has every right to be pissed off.
Perhaps the correct answer would be "You're certainly the most beautiful girl in my life!" and then you should be able to avoid lying while still making her feel pretty...tactful solutuion eh?
Indigo: Depends on the person. Some people date because they really feel that the person in question is a person they would spend the rest of their life with. Some people date because they want a regular source of sex. The problems do not arise so much from these varying viewpoints, as much as when they collide. If a girl wants to be told she's pretty and needs that reassurance, she should date someone who would do it. I.E you and me. If the person she's dating is cold, tends to be brutally honest and calculating rather than emotional, she should expect no more from him. Ice doesn't melt just because you like it.
EDIT: I agree he should have sen it coming however.
Jockslap: makes sense to me.
Like I said, if he was in a relationship he should have had the former feelings. I am opposed in a major way to those kind of casual sex relationships.
Nor do I blame you. I'm just making the point that even though you're against them, many people of both genders aren't. And I don't think he's really a casual sex dater, because he's too cold not too good at lying. My basic point is this: I agree with you, but that doesn't mean everyone else will, and you shouldn't force your beliefs on them.
I used to attempt being romantic when I had the chance, trying to be spontaneous and planning grand gestures and the like, but trying and doing are two different things and whenever I used to plan something special for a girl it all went tits up (and not in the way that I'd hoped) for one reason or another.
But regardless I'd take a bit of romance over a "hawt piece of ass" any day.
I'm about as unromantic as it gets, unfortunately. I can't stand seeing people do foolish things over chemical and hormonal imbalances they call "love." I'd rather keep my wits about me than do something stupid for love.
Plus, love puts the power to hurt you greatly in someone else's hands. I'd rather not make myself that venerable.
I'm a romantic. If I have a girl in my life I treat her as if she's everything in my life. I want to make her feel truly amazing as she does for me just by being mine. However, the only problem with me in this area is that I'm sort of shy. If all works out, then it will be a long, happy relationship.
(Unless any unexplained or random events come into play and screw it all up, then it's set sail for fail. Sigh)
Im a romantic, but am pretty far into learning my way out of that. Not because i want to fuck more than be genuinly close to someone but in fact the exact opposite.
Im pretty sure you either get the gist or have had enough of this sort of thing so i'll just skip to an anecdote - About a year ago i started to like a girl, so cast aside 'romantic' tendancies and went for the flirty approach, worked like a charm, we got close, i fell in love with her, lost control of the romantic side of me and my carefully-constructed facade fell apart alongside our relationship. I was quickly replaced by a guy like me but who was a natural 'flirt' (and by that i mean boundarys as low as morals) which pushed me into depression for about 4 months. Co-incidence? Hell no. Just her? Hell no. How'd it turn out? Not so bad. Elaborate? Hell no.
Clov3r: If I didn't have a killer migraine, I'd probably be better off at giving you all answers. But right now my mind is drawing a blank.
Some girls like honesty, others just want to feel appreciated. Telling a girl she isn't hot will probably upset her. But like someone said before, saying something like "baby, you're so beautiful. I can't tell you enough" is always win. That's what my exbf used to say all the time and it really made me feel special.
Eh, if someone said that to me, I'd probably tell him to get his head examined because I'm *not* beautiful and I *know* it. However, there are numerous other true compliments he could give me that I would definitely like.
I am a romantic, but I'm also a *serious* one. I don't think there's anything unromantic about honesty. Then again, I also don't believe that romance is about mush. It's more about the way you view the world. Proper romantics love life and see the world as a realm of opportunity, possibility, and adventure. They see members of the opposite sex as a joy and a treasure--someone to share your adventures and the unspeakable beauty of existence.
Non-romantics tend to be shallow and tiresome because there is no *fire* in them.
This is one of the self-definitions that I try to avoid altogether. My lady friend likes it when I give her those lame witty turnaround complements, so I do that, but being OMG COMPLETELY IN LOVE and SHE IS MY EVERYTHING and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF WHEN SHE'S NOT AROUND is about as stupid as stupid gets. I've got my own life; whoever I'm dating is a part of it, not the centre of it.
meatloaf231: I'm about as unromantic as it gets, unfortunately. I can't stand seeing people do foolish things over chemical and hormonal imbalances they call "love." I'd rather keep my wits about me than do something stupid for love.
Plus, love puts the power to hurt you greatly in someone else's hands. I'd rather not make myself that venerable.
hate to break it to u man, but if u don't shoot u can't score, simple as that.
1. I'm a romantic 2. The world is becoming too sensitive 3. Romanticism is dying
You want to be a romantic, you have to be a good friend, and that means telling your girlfriend when she screws up. Unfortunately, no one wants to do that anymore, because there's a good chance it won't go over well.
Clov3r: If I didn't have a killer migraine, I'd probably be better off at giving you all answers. But right now my mind is drawing a blank.
Some girls like honesty, others just want to feel appreciated. Telling a girl she isn't hot will probably upset her. But like someone said before, saying something like "baby, you're so beautiful. I can't tell you enough" is always win. That's what my exbf used to say all the time and it really made me feel special.
Eh, if someone said that to me, I'd probably tell him to get his head examined because I'm *not* beautiful and I *know* it. However, there are numerous other true compliments he could give me that I would definitely like.
I am a romantic, but I'm also a *serious* one. I don't think there's anything unromantic about honesty. Then again, I also don't believe that romance is about mush. It's more about the way you view the world. Proper romantics love life and see the world as a realm of opportunity, possibility, and adventure. They see members of the opposite sex as a joy and a treasure--someone to share your adventures and the unspeakable beauty of existence.
Non-romantics tend to be shallow and tiresome because there is no *fire* in them.
Here's a picture of me if you're wondering:
the pic didnt work...and i completely agree with you, i think if i feel like i can tell her anything without worrying about her reaction and having to lie that prettymuch means its love and not just a random relationship. And its nice to see that someone other than me thinks all that "baby ur so hot" talk is just stupid...like jeezus, stop looking at ur colon and pull ur head outta ur ass! yknow?
1. I'm a romantic 2. The world is becoming too sensitive 3. Romanticism is dying
You want to be a romantic, you have to be a good friend, and that means telling your girlfriend when she screws up. Unfortunately, no one wants to do that anymore, because there's a good chance it won't go over well.
i feel that chivalry is a decently sized chunk of what makes up romanticism, and the vagiants of today are killing chivalry, and women complain because men arent nice to them anymore...well yknow what, if im going to Tim Hortons to get a coffee and i hold the door open for you, i most certainly dont want to hear about how you dont need a man to hold the door open for you! (yeah, that actually happened, and i was seriously displeased)
I'm actually rather vicious in my interpersonal relationships. I'm sufficiently self-aware however, to ensure the then-current love'o'life sees only what she wants to see.
1. I'm a romantic 2. The world is becoming too sensitive 3. Romanticism is dying
You want to be a romantic, you have to be a good friend, and that means telling your girlfriend when she screws up. Unfortunately, no one wants to do that anymore, because there's a good chance it won't go over well.
i feel that chivalry is a decently sized chunk of what makes up romanticism, and the vagiants of today are killing chivalry, and women complain because men arent nice to them anymore...well yknow what, if im going to Tim Hortons to get a coffee and i hold the door open for you, i most certainly dont want to hear about how you dont need a man to hold the door open for you! (yeah, that actually happened, and i was seriously displeased)
Don't worry. Someone ran an online poll I found once. By thousands more, people seemed to agree that it was women who are killing Chivalry. Not so much for the door holding thing, but the ridiculous double standard. You want me to treat special AND be equal in all things economic? Doesn't work that way.
What isn't romantic about a hot piece of ass? Seriously, romance is the interaction between sexuality and love. Push it too far in one direction and you're bound to be unhappy.
santaandy: What isn't romantic about a hot piece of ass? Seriously, romance is the interaction between sexuality and love. Push it too far in one direction and you're bound to be unhappy.
call a girl u like a hot peice of ass, i can almost guarantee you will crash and burn.
avykins: *checks pants, feels testicles" Nope, guess Im not a romantic.
See, this, in a nutshell, is what is wrong with modern dating.
I don't give a fuck about fucking. What I care about is being the everything for someone, and knowing that they can mean everything to me. I want to listen to her problems, and just hold her til she feels better. God I'm alone....
And you always will be alone with that mentality. You want to be everything to someone (stroking your own ego...) and them to you. So what will you do when she cheats on you or if shes honourable will just flat out dump you before immediatly banging someone else. Plus if you just listen to her problems then that becomes the habit and the women will not give a shit about you when your life gets hard.
Women dont play by the same rules as guys do. They have no concept of honour and they can get a new guy within hours so theres no reason to care.
avykins: *checks pants, feels testicles" Nope, guess Im not a romantic.
See, this, in a nutshell, is what is wrong with modern dating.
I don't give a fuck about fucking. What I care about is being the everything for someone, and knowing that they can mean everything to me. I want to listen to her problems, and just hold her til she feels better. God I'm alone....
And you always will be alone with that mentality. You want to be everything to someone (stroking your own ego...) and them to you. So what will you do when she cheats on you or if shes honourable will just flat out dump you before immediatly banging someone else. Plus if you just listen to her problems then that becomes the habit and the women will not give a shit about you when your life gets hard.
Women dont play by the same rules as guys do. They have no concept of honour and they can get a new guy within hours so theres no reason to care.
avykins: *checks pants, feels testicles" Nope, guess Im not a romantic.
See, this, in a nutshell, is what is wrong with modern dating.
I don't give a fuck about fucking. What I care about is being the everything for someone, and knowing that they can mean everything to me. I want to listen to her problems, and just hold her til she feels better. God I'm alone....
And you always will be alone with that mentality. You want to be everything to someone (stroking your own ego...) and them to you. So what will you do when she cheats on you or if shes honourable will just flat out dump you before immediatly banging someone else. Plus if you just listen to her problems then that becomes the habit and the women will not give a shit about you when your life gets hard.
Women dont play by the same rules as guys do. They have no concept of honour and they can get a new guy within hours so theres no reason to care.
That's right, fight misogyny with worse misogyny
Except he's right. Men and women play by different rules. unless of course they're like me, who recognize the different rule sets and light it with a blowtorch. It's all bull-.
Indigo: Depends on the person. Some people date because they really feel that the person in question is a person they would spend the rest of their life with. Some people date because they want a regular source of sex. The problems do not arise so much from these varying viewpoints, as much as when they collide. If a girl wants to be told she's pretty and needs that reassurance, she should date someone who would do it. I.E you and me. If the person she's dating is cold, tends to be brutally honest and calculating rather than emotional, she should expect no more from him. Ice doesn't melt just because you like it.
EDIT: I agree he should have sen it coming however.
Jockslap: makes sense to me.