They can be famous people you love or hate. And yes they can be dead famous people.

I would tell JFK to duck
And Lincoln too...

I'd like to ask DJ Khaled what he actually does, and why he deserves his own albums.

I'd also like to ask Lil Wayne whether or not he knows that he doesn't actually rap anymore. It's more of a mumbling type of speech that rhymes once in a while, and when it does, usually rhymes the same words. It's entirely possible that due to his immense drug consumption, that he thinks he's still rapping.

I'd tell britney spears' parents to use condoms.
I would also find a way to say something to Bill Hicks so that he wouldn't die.

I would tell Kurt Cobain that he is a god for me.

I'd tell Peaches Geldof that she's not that important.

Hmmm... Well, I'd say I'd tell Jimi Hendrix to lay off the drugs and DON'T eat that chinese food, but he'd probably be dead by my time, so it wouldn't change too much.

I just wish I could tell someone like Steven Tyler or Bon Jovi that they're awesome. Possibly accompanied by a hug, and an autograph.

Hey, Paris, meet Mr. Shotgun!

Stephenie Meyer

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.........

NO!"

To Mama Cass Eliot- "Ham isn't good for you."

To Mrs. Spears- "You're pregnant? Please have as much alcohol as you like!!"

To Mr. Lohan- "Don't do that! It will screw up your whole family!"

To Jessica Simpson (pre-divorce)= "Don't do that! He's too good for you!"
To Jessica Simpson (post-divorce)= "Man..you did it, didn't you!"

To all: 'GET ON WITH IT!!'

That is all

I would tell the unknown famous man that made the wheel to shape it into a square with rounded corners instead, for better mobility.

Michael Grade

"Here is the most watched programme on the BBC over Christmas in 2007. And 2006.

This is the show you cancelled when it had better ratings than Top of the Pops, which was later cancelled. And it was just because you hated Science Fiction and the Doctor was shagging your ex, you prejudiced little [multiple expletives]."

"My dick is bigger then yours." That is all.

I have a lot to say to Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, and the cast of High School Musical, but I am almost positive I would get banned for it, so I'll just say the gist of my message in a "pg-ified" way: "You are talentless wastes of space. Your shows, movies, and songs define the word "crap". Go die... Forever.

L1250:
I have a lot to say to Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, and the cast of High School Musical, but I am almost positive I would get banned for it, so I'll just say the gist of my message in a "pg-ified" way: "You are talentless wastes of space. Your shows, movies, and songs define the word "crap". Go die... Forever.

Do not let aries_split see this post. He may crucify you with big rusty shaped like retarded seagulls blunt nails.

"Go fuck yourself Mark Wahlberg"

I don't know why i'd say it...i mean i don't have that big a problem with him...a buddy of mine met him and said he was a bit of a prick...

I would go up to tom cruise and slap him in the face. Then tell him he's more crazy than all the fundamentalist religions combined. Then I'd tell him an Elron Hubbard quote, "If you want to make money, start a religion." Then I would inform him that he does not, in fact know the history of psychiatry or psychiatric pharmaceuticals. Then slap him again.

"Stop having babies, for the love of god, STOP WITH THE BABIES."
"Please retire, Morgan Freeman. We've had enough of you and your inspiring voice."
"You can't sing for shit. Please die." - All Disney child stars.

To the Wachowski Bros.

*Hands them copies of Matrix 2 and 3* "Watch these. After you watch them, burn them. After you burn them, remake them to be the exact oppisite of what you just watched. Or better yet, don't make them at all."

To Tray Parker and Matt Stone

"Thank you."

To Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Jack Thompson, Uwe Boll, Cliffy B, Malcom Turnbull, Kevin Rudd, Anna Bligh, Fred Nile and Mike Rann, quoting the immortal Henry Rollins:

"SIT THE FUCK DOWN SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

I would go to Bill Clinton's office and yell:
"HAND CHECK!"
Edit:
Chelsea would jump out the window...

I would go find Jesus and tell him to write everything down right away. Also to be really specific.

(Thou shalt not pervert my message to justify bigotry.)
(I was serious when I said to stop using the Old Testament, that includes Leviticus, all of it.)

To all recent celebrities, "Did you ever aim to be talented?"

I'd tell George Lucas that Star Wars is not for kids.
And I would ask Angelina Jolie things which are not allowed to be repeated here. :)

I would tell Charlie Daniels to get off his high horse and stop acting like he is the end all, be all Christian.

"seriously now, WHAT THE FUCK!" to george lucus.

and

"you are a god amongst insects" to bruce cambell

All modern pop stars: Shut up. Right now. Or I will staple your mouth SHUT!

"Have a backup plan for when you cease to be famous. And please don't tell me it's Scientology."