They are 'our future', 'blessings' and 'little bundles of joy', but do you plan on having them? Explain why. Does the responsibility of parenthood scare you? Do children themselves scare you? What makes a good parent anyway? A good child? Does the state of the world effect your view on having children?

All opinions welcome! Especially those oldies (or young folk) who happen to have already had children.

- (first thread, be nice)

I don't have plans to have kids at the moment, but I'm 19 and don't want to have anything serious relationship-wise until mid 20's. I like the idea of having little 'n00blets' of my own who I can train up but children tend to annoy me at them moment. I've looked after my cousins ocassionally but having it 24/7 seems a bit much for me.

I actually never thought much about having kids... until I got my neice. Now I can't imagine life without her, and wouldn't mind havng some of my own.

After all, isn't it the purpose of every life form to pass on our hates, prejudices, and personal vendettas to the next generation?

(Oh, and if you're my enemy and you weren't planning the whole "passing along" thing to your kids, than I'll take you off my list... (wink))

Kids need to stop. Stop overpopulation, don't make babies! I'm almost done with my plan to release massive quantities of birt control hormones into the water supply of major cities (especially in India) to help keep the population down. You'll thank me when we still have enough air to breathe.

the_tramp:
who I can train up

That just made me think of those pokemon games, you know, in which you 'train up' your pokemon.

"Wait, BABY is evolving...

BABY has evolved into TODDLER!"

I think my views are well known from my post regarding overpopulation. Kids are fine if you are a stable human being, as I am yet to meet one that could prove dire for the human race as a whole!

You need a license to own a gun, a dog and drive a car and yet you can give birth to as many bundles of joy as your uterous can hold with no tests!

My guy and I are getting ready for our first baby right now. There's a lot to think about. We didn't think we wanted kids yet but we really really do. For us it was like a piece of the puzzle of our life was missing. The world scares us. O_o It's a strange place to bring another human being into and we're constantly questioning how we'll handle things. We're making some sturdy plans now but I'm not sure if we'll be able to stick to them when the situations actually occur. We feel prepared but you never really are.

We wanted to get her one of those baby video game systems. Until we talked to some people who made us feel bad about it and told us one on one actual interaction time would be much much better. We still hope she likes video games as much as we do. Until then, and until she's old enough, we're not letting ourselves play games like Fallout 3 while she is in the room.

Every decision you make as a parent is so questionable.

Don't like them and I never plan to have them ever. There's enough of those little pest's running around, I don't need to be adding to the problem.

I don't plan on having kids in the immediate future, perhaps in a decade or so.
Gotta keep that genetic material flowing.

Eh...maybe. If I like her enough and she keeps bugging me about it.

I think a happy marriage without kids is perfect though.

I've always sort of envisioned myself adopting a child at some point in my life (after I finish college and have a decent job). Preferably a smart Asian kid.

Yeah I planned on becoming a responsible parent one day except I have many things stopping me from doing this, so first I aim to get a proper job and move out of home before I even considerate it. Bringing life into this world and watching them grow would be a very exciting experience, but I also know there would be moments were they would drive me crazy!

The state of the world does effect my thought on this, so I decided to wait till I become an independent hard working man.

short answer: No.
Long answer: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dislike the little bar-stards.

I already have two kids, a five year old boy, and a two year old girl. They are the best things that ever happened to me and I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm sure some of the kids who say they hate kids cause it's the cool thing to say will come around one day and realize how great having little smelly tots running around the house is. Trust me, it's worth it!

I don't plan to ever have kids.
I am 17 yoa at the moment so that may change in the future of course and I may meet that someone special eventually and she may be very convincing.

Anyway, I dislike kids ALOT! Whenever I'm in a mall I have to resist the urge to punch every kid in the face to starts crying and screaming like someone shoved a chainsaw up their ass, because their mom didn't give em that ice cream.

Also, this place is a dump anyway, can't imagine why anyone would want a child to grow up here(here, being the insignificant little planet we live on). Better to spare them all the pain and misery by not having them.
Besides, I don't think I'd make a good father. ^^

Why do we call them children btw? "hellspawn" is a much more appropriate word for the walking puke machines of destruction...

My partner and I have two boys. The younger one is 13 months old and the older one is 4 and a half years old. We've decided to close down the factory. We feel two is the ideal number.

The first kid was touch-and-go; it was just my partner and I in a foreign country with no help from relatives and no guidance apart from some counseling, a few courses and a book (highly recommended, by the way - it's called "What to Expect the First Year").

Unfortunately, you aren't born knowing how to be a parent, let alone a good one, and no books or training will ever prepare you like the real deal. That first night where you wake up to change the diapers, you know things are never going to be the same again. However, the joy of seeing my children grow into the fine young boys they are today is already a great reward, and it makes up for the restless nights and countless times I've had body waste ejected onto me.

Our two children are perfectly normal in development, which is all I ask for. The oldest son is extremely orderly and tidy, much more so than many adults I know. He also listens to us, protects his younger brother and is very respectful to others and is very social. (He can also pass all the levels in Super Mario DS!) He's a fantastic child.

The second child tends to develop much faster than the first, since parents now benefit from experience and know what to do and how to react. Such is the case with the young one - he regularly says "papa" and "mama" to address us since 11 months of age. He also started walking (not "coasting") about the same time.

I used to say that "we don't make enough money, we're not prepared, and we're too immature" or whatever excuse-du-jour I could conjure at the moment, but the truth is you will never be prepared. Just like the Xbox, you have to jump in. Once you're in, you will be prepared. You will see things differently. Tables are no longer tables; table corners now have the potential to gouge your son's eye out. Doors are no longer doors; the space between the door and the frame now have the potential to crush your son's fingers. You view the world in another way when you are a parent.

To paraphrase an advertisement, having children is "like having a Porsche. You don't know what it's like until you have one."

Good versus bad parenting is highly subjective and contentious. I can safely say that much, having had to fend off my parents and parents-in-law from influencing my children any way we didn't see fit (especially in terms of religion, with me being atheist, my wife being Buddhist, and half the family being Roman Catholics). As there are diabetics from both sides of the family, we don't let our children eat sweets, but I know other parents who allow it. I don't think children should even see their parent smoke cigarettes, let alone smell it, but there are parents who smoke in front of their children. To each their own I guess.

ElephantGuts:
Kids need to stop. Stop overpopulation, don't make babies! I'm almost done with my plan to release massive quantities of birt control hormones into the water supply of major cities (especially in India) to help keep the population down. You'll thank me when we still have enough air to breathe.

I recommend you read A Fine Balance.
I mean, I assume it was a joke, but forced population control like that is kind of sick. And it does go on.

I plan on having 2 kids, maybe 3.
The western world does not have to worry about over population. The third world does. And that will only stop with education, better health care, and the dissolution of old-world cultural values, like leaving 12 progeny to carry on your family name.

Not to sound like an elitist westerner or something. But there's no fucking reason to have 12 kids.

gomerkyle9:
I'm sure some of the kids who say they hate kids cause it's the cool thing to say will come around one day and realize how great having little smelly tots running around the house is. Trust me, it's worth it!

I used to not like kids, especially because I was awkward around them. But I started helping my girlfriend baby sit her 3-year-old nephew, and her 12 and 8 year-old nieces in law, and I have to say that now that I know what to do and say around kids I have a much more favorable impression of them.

Maybe the crying kid in the back of church annoys you now, but that's because you didn't see him trick-or-treating when he first learned to say "Pumpky!"
D'awwwwwwwwww

Uszi:

ElephantGuts:
Kids need to stop. Stop overpopulation, don't make babies! I'm almost done with my plan to release massive quantities of birt control hormones into the water supply of major cities (especially in India) to help keep the population down. You'll thank me when we still have enough air to breathe.

I recommend you read A Fine Balance.
I mean, I assume it was a joke, but forced population control like that is kind of sick. And it does go on.

I plan on having 2 kids, maybe 3.
The western world does not have to worry about over population. The third world does. And that will only stop with education, better health care, and the dissolution of old-world cultural values, like leaving 12 progeny to carry on your family name.

Not to sound like an elitist westerner or something. But there's no fucking reason to have 12 kids.

I come from a third-world country and that statement is about right on the money. A lack of education (and misguided sexual education) plus poverty and antiquated traditions (I won't bring religion into this) equates to families with more children than they can afford to rear. It definitely has nothing to do with elitism although according to some values being elitist would be to have a dozen children and be able to afford it. This is also one major difference between those who have and those who have not (instead of western vs third-world; after all, there are stinking rich families in every country).

Too many times did I see friends getting hitched because they were pregnant or got someone pregnant while still in high school. I swore to never walk that path - both my kids were planned.

I'm not planin on havin kids, I really dont want any. But don't get me wrong I think children are nice and all, I just don't wanna put up with the headache that comes with them. But I do think kids are the future and that it's important that we have a good influence on them so we dont have a crapy future mainly because they will change it.

Yeah, I don't think I'd make a good parent, and even tho I'm told 'oh you'd be different if it happened' why risk it when I'm happy to not have kids? I've never understood how everyone seems to want me to have children, as tho I'm incomplete without one.

Admittedly I'm pretty good with kids... for an hour or so, but I don't 'need' one, and there seems to be millions of other people willing to keep the population up.

However I can understand couples who want kids, have kids and love then, and I'm pleased they're enjoying it, so I don't have to :D

20 reasons to not have children and 10 reasons to have children. Best list I've seen yet.

http://www.playagaingames.com/interesting/children

I really don't want to have children and that list (plus life experiences validating it) is why.

I have two kids, and a wife, and for everybody screaming about overpopulation, here is a link, though I don't want to get into link wars, just something you might find interesting.

http://www.juntosociety.com/guest/sperlazzo/bs_opm1010903.html

Kids are great, not everybody should have 'em, but, that's what you get in a free country. But overpopulation shouldn't be a reason not to have a child. There are plenty of better reasons, no?

crimsondynamics:

Our two children are perfectly normal in development, which is all I ask for. The oldest son is extremely orderly and tidy, much more so than many adults I know. He also listens to us, protects his younger brother and is very respectful to others and is very social. (He can also pass all the levels in Super Mario DS!) He's a fantastic child.

Thanks for the post crimson, not only because it was refreshing to see some more parents' perspectives but also because it reminded me to raise the question of the expectations and hopes that can sometimes be associated with having children. My questions (to everyone, not just you crimson) are therefore: should parents have certain expectations and hopes for their children? At what point does being ambitious for our children's future become unacceptable? Is there a point? Do the parents who live through their children put you off having them? Or does the chance to have a second shot at life through your children actually entice you?

Delicious

latenightapplepie:

the_tramp:
who I can train up

That just made me think of those pokemon games, you know, in which you 'train up' your pokemon.

"Wait, BABY is evolving...

BABY has evolved into TODDLER!"

Except if they don't get their own way its gonna do a digimon, in that Child will go back to Baby, to get that new toy they want.

the_tramp:
I don't have plans to have kids at the moment, but I'm 19 and don't want to have anything serious relationship-wise until mid 20's. I like the idea of having little 'n00blets' of my own who I can train up but children tend to annoy me at them moment. I've looked after my cousins ocassionally but having it 24/7 seems a bit much for me.

Thank you for being the same age as me, having the same thoughts as me, and whether knowingly or not, referencing Pure pwnage in your response to this topic... pwnerer hahaha

the responsibility of parenthood scares the living shit out of me....and i have 2 young kids.

I have a nine year old daughter. I am also a single father. I love my daughter and she is my responsibility now. With out a good upbringing she could turn out like the masses of morons running all over the earth.

And like chronobreak has stated so wisely, not everyone should be a parent.

I have no intention of having children and I shall fight my hormones and natural instincts for as long as possible. I may want to teach but I don't want them in my house sucking up my money and time when I could be playing games or bring frivolous.
So I may well end up having them, but right now they are among the last things I'd want.

i like kids, i love playing with my friends' kids when i can and always have fun, it's great fun getting them hopped up on candy before you hand them back, tho for some reason they don't like letting me watch their kids a lot

the secret really is to look at what your parents did wrong, not what you didn't like cause sometimes it's needed, and improve on it

i'd love to have a couple kids one day

I fear I'd be a bad parent. Not like the beat you with a toaster kind of parent, but he kind that forgets your kid is not your drinking buddy.

I swear, it would be like a frat house if I had a kid.

"Hey, were are your pants young man?"
"In da dwyer!"
"Sweet."

Kids are annoying little maggots who interfere with my gaming and eat up all my money with their needs and why anyone would want to be a parent for is beyond me.

Sir_Montague:

Thank you for being the same age as me, having the same thoughts as me, and whether knowingly or not, referencing Pure pwnage in your response to this topic... pwnerer hahaha

Yes I was referencing, I threw it in to see if anyone would bite.

I like Children just fine when I can give them back. Never want to have my own.

I'll consider it, but no decisions, as I'm only 15.