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Poll: Jesus Christ super hero movie.


Should a movie that depicts jesus christ as a super hero exist
yes
49.1% (28)
49.1% (28)
no
50.9% (29)
50.9% (29)
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Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2311
Joined: 5 Nov 2008

Serious movies about Jesus exist, a musical about jesus exists and a movie in which Mary Magdalene is jesus's spouse exists. What we need is a movie where Jesus returns as a superhero, throughs crucifixes like baterangs and beats up Osama Binladen and Jack Thompson.
It makes sense to me all superheros are based on a messianic archetype and alot of them are martyred and return to life at least once.

Beat Writer
Posts: 211
Joined: 2 Jun 2008

lol it will be a copy paste of constantine with a jesus dubbed over keanu reeves

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2146
Joined: 7 Sep 2008

What on earth?

No.

There are better topics for superhero movies than Jesus.

........Plus, whoever made such a movie would be burnt at the stake by all of the Christians who thought the movie was blasphemy.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 592
Joined: 19 Nov 2008

This could go so wrong... but It would be cool to use a huge historical/religious figure, as a super hero. but honestly it takes all the reverance, and respectabilty out of the person. Just think of if you took Ben Franklin, and had him in a movie like Super bad, it's just making a bad image for a respectable person. + people will get super duper ticked off if you mess with jesus...

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2538
Joined: 29 Mar 2008

Superman = Jesus

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1893
Joined: 22 Jul 2008

I'd prefer Jesus College myself.

Announcer: What if Jesus arrived for the second coming, but found he had to go back to College?

Jesus: College? Dad-dammit!

College Dean: Sorry, but rules are rules. Oh and meet your new roommate, Chad

Chad: Hey bro, bringin' back the long hair, sweeeet! Wanna play frisbee, bro?

Jesus: Awww, sweet baby me!

Announcer: Thats right, this Summer Jesus has to get an education, and learn some things about himself along the way.

Jesus College, coming 2009.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 400
Joined: 1 Nov 2008

Aiden Rebirth:
people will get super duper ticked off if you mess with jesus...

We need a Muhammed movie. The world hasn't seen pissed off until that happens.

Armitage - I can hear the South Park "Bob Brydon is... a carrot!" voice, reading your post.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2787
Joined: 5 Aug 2008

Armitage Shanks:
I'd prefer Jesus College myself.

Announcer: What if Jesus arrived for the second coming, but found he had to go back to College?

Jesus: College? Dad-dammit!

College Dean: Sorry, but rules are rules. Oh and meet your new roommate, Chad

Chad: Hey bro, bringin' back the long hair, sweeeet! Wanna play frisbee, bro?

Jesus: Awww, sweet baby me!

Announcer: Thats right, this Summer Jesus has to get an education, and learn some things about himself along the way.

Jesus College, coming 2009.

Starring, Mike Meyers as Jesus.

Putting Jesus in movies like this would be a bad idea.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3753
Joined: 18 Dec 2007

Sounds a bit childish. I perfer Armitage Shank's idea. It has heart.

Who would play Jesus? Mel Gibson again?

EDIT: Damn I got ninj'd. Looks like Mike Meyers has the lead role.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1453
Joined: 16 May 2008

image

BANNED
Posts: 12958
Joined: 30 Jan 2008

Aiden Rebirth:
This could go so wrong... but It would be cool to use a huge historical/religious figure, as a super hero. but honestly it takes all the reverance, and respectabilty out of the person. Just think of if you took Ben Franklin, and had him in a movie like Super bad, it's just making a bad image for a respectable person. + people will get super duper ticked off if you mess with jesus...

I think you're talking about this.
http://www.broadcaster.com/clip/29513
I love that show.

As for the OP, I don't know about you, but something that makes light the pure sacrifice and great deeds of my lord and saviour probably might be slightly offensive.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 400
Joined: 1 Nov 2008

Indigo_Dingo:
As for the OP, I don't know about you, but something that makes light the pure sacrifice and great deeds of my lord and saviour probably might be slightly offensive.

OK, nobody gets to make fun of Harry Potter anymore. He's the saviour who prevented Voldemort, the source of all evil in the world, from killing us all. This means no more HarryxVoldemort slash fanfics, you heathens.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1453
Joined: 16 May 2008

Molikroth:

Indigo_Dingo:
As for the OP, I don't know about you, but something that makes light the pure sacrifice and great deeds of my lord and saviour probably might be slightly offensive.

OK, nobody gets to make fun of Harry Potter anymore. He's the saviour who prevented Voldemort, the source of all evil in the world, from killing us all. This means no more HarryxVoldemort slash fanfics, you heathens.

And that just made my day. Thanking you, good Molikroth.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3575
Joined: 8 May 2008

Am I the only one who has seen Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter ?

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2610
Joined: 27 Aug 2008

Er... sorry to burst your bubble but:

Ultrachrist (2003)

and

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

The later is certainly better.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2311
Joined: 5 Nov 2008

rossatdi:
Er... sorry to burst your bubble but:

Ultrachrist (2003)

and

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

The later is certainly better.

Thanks for pointing those out. I will have to check Jesues Christ Vampire Hunter at some point.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2610
Joined: 27 Aug 2008

Sewblon:

rossatdi:
Er... sorry to burst your bubble but:

Ultrachrist (2003)

and

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

The later is certainly better.

Thanks for pointing those out. I will have to check Jesues Christ Vampire Hunter at some point.

No worries, they're not great but they are funny.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 888
Joined: 29 Mar 2008

jesus will be great in this tittles :

Super smash Jesus brawl:saint edition

fall out 4: the promise waste land

The CALLING of duty 6: jesus vs hitler

ant the expansion pack will be The calling of duty 6:jesus vs hitler vs ninjas vs robots

The sims: go to church or burn in hell

and the last one...

Marvel vs capcom vs religion!
the ultimate fight:
this game will be players like, blanka, ryu, megaman, jesus, ken, mahoma, spiderman, buda, venom, shiva and chun lee.

so what do you think?

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1893
Joined: 22 Jul 2008

rottenbutter:

Armitage Shanks:
I'd prefer Jesus College myself.

Announcer: What if Jesus arrived for the second coming, but found he had to go back to College?

Starring, Mike Meyers as Jesus.
Putting Jesus in movies like this would be a bad idea.

Fire Daemon:
Sounds a bit childish. I perfer Armitage Shank's idea. It has heart.
Who would play Jesus? Mel Gibson again?
EDIT: Damn I got ninj'd. Looks like Mike Meyers has the lead role.

I'm thinking of more like a Judd Apatow Superbad style thing. He'd have to try and fit in with the popular frat kids (supplying them with booze etc) which culminates with a bag of holy flaming excrement on the doorstep of Buddha's dorm.

Of course he eventually learns his lesson that you don't have to be popular to fit in etc.

I'm thinking Michael Cera as Jesus.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 400
Joined: 1 Nov 2008

I don't care who plays Jesus as long as he's Jewish-looking. None of this tiptoeing around the saviour's ethnicity: in all probably he was not white and had a large nose.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1540
Joined: 6 Apr 2008

Can't say I'm fond of most of the dramatic portrayals of Jesus, but I do love Jesus Christ Superstar, especially that one from the 70s.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2995
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

I've been drawing pictures of Jesus if he was a Super Saiyan, so it should be obvious that I'd love to see this movie, if it is ever made. Which I doubt.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 400
Joined: 1 Nov 2008

-Zen-:
I've been drawing pictures of Jesus if he was a Super Saiyan,.

Sauce.

Copy Clerk
Posts: 59
Joined: 6 Nov 2007

jesus is a story about a guy dieing for other poeple and you want to make fun of him?
i'm a believer and even if you're not why do you have to mock him?
alot of people think i'm insane but all i'm asking is to respect others and there beleifs

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 731
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

Well, Jesus was a pretty violent man when he had to be. Everybody seems to portray him and God as pacifists, but they're just as much fighters as any red-blooded man. "The Lord is a warrior, the Lord is his name," from...whichever Bible passage that is. And anybody who's played the Total War series may remember from Psalms "Blessed be the Lord, which teacheth my hands to war and my fingers to fight."

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2995
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Molikroth:

-Zen-:
I've been drawing pictures of Jesus if he was a Super Saiyan,.

Sauce.

What?

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2995
Joined: 13 Aug 2008

Molikroth:
I don't care who plays Jesus as long as he's Jewish-looking. None of this tiptoeing around the saviour's ethnicity: in all probably he was not white and had a large nose.

There's also a chance that Jesus was black.

BANNED
Posts: 125
Joined: 18 Sep 2008

Replace jesus with Lucifer then it would be interesting. Also he would destroy that baptist church where that shirley ropers and her fucked up family and Becky Fischer and jesus camp so they can stop the bullshit brainwashing.

User was banned for: Poll: Will Smith and Obama doing a 69?. (Permanent)
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1540
Joined: 6 Apr 2008

sanspec:
jesus is a story about a guy dieing for other poeple and you want to make fun of him?
i'm a believer and even if you're not why do you have to mock him?
alot of people think i'm insane but all i'm asking is to respect others and there beleifs

I fail to see where the mocking is...I mean, in any of the movies based on him, or starring a character based on him, Jesus is the hero, even with comedic tone, he's always presented as somewhat of a badass with magic powers. Personally, if he were alive today I think he'd get a chuckle out of a lot of this stuff.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 609
Joined: 12 Sep 2008

This movie should exist, and everyone MUSTsee it for the awesomeness. Also, a movie in which jesus is a zombie.
Maybe a zombie superhero.

Infamous Scribbler
Posts: 609
Joined: 12 Sep 2008

-Zen-:

Molikroth:
I don't care who plays Jesus as long as he's Jewish-looking. None of this tiptoeing around the saviour's ethnicity: in all probably he was not white and had a large nose.

There's also a chance that Jesus was black.

There is no sense debating details about Jesus when we have yet to establish whether or not he actually existed.

Muckraker
Posts: 239
Joined: 12 Dec 2007

Sounds like a daft idea to me. The only way I could see this working? A depiction of one of the battles in Revelation, in the style of Lord of the Rings. Watching a guy take down a seven headed dragon would make for some awesome watching.

The Ultra-Conservative Christians would have something to say about it though.

Beat Writer
Posts: 186
Joined: 19 Nov 2008

ideal scenario all religions fight in a mortal kombat tournament, jesus, abraham and muhammed on one team as rival rulers of heaven (outworld) and Scientology, new age and all that other jazz, with the last survivor getting a medal with the inscription "i iz teh L337 reliigionz" and then tea bagging begins

Beat Writer
Posts: 186
Joined: 15 Jul 2008

-Zen-:
I've been drawing pictures of Jesus if he was a Super Saiyan, so it should be obvious that I'd love to see this movie, if it is ever made. Which I doubt.

You're spot on with the 'Jesus as a Super Saiyan' theory, this guy even found evidence:
http://www.ninjapirate.com/content.php?f=returnofjesus.html

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2137
Joined: 23 Dec 2007

How about jesus aka keanu reaves comes back to a post apocoliptic furture where kung fu gangs have taken over the world. So he embarks on his quest to free the world from jet li, learning from his sensi chris rock.

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