This came up as I was chatting with my friends yesterday. Most of us are white, English and atheist/agnostics and universally we appear to have gone out with similar people over the years.

I kind of bucked the trend with 2 Americans and a Scot but they were all white atheists. Considering I live and went to school in an area of London with a substantial mix of ethnicities I find this worrying.

Am I subconsciously avoiding non-white woman even if I find them attractive? Is this natural? Is it bad?

Do I automatically tune out when I find someone is religious? It certainly hasn't affected friendships.

I found the nationalities actually help as a conversation starter.

yes

Well, I've never really dated anyone, so I'll have to say no by default. Although interesting to note is that all the girls I've ever liked were of Asian descent, but then again, I could count the number of girls in my grade who aren't Asian on one hand.

I have never dated anyone.

I've really only dated two women in my life, though I did have a fling with an asian girl. We didn't officially date.

Well, this doesn't really partain to me, but my grandmother is a white quaker who married a Japanese American she met in college (I think he was Buddhist). And my mom is still a Quaker, and she married my dad who is Catholic. So I'm pretty much a crazy mash up of things myself. XD

avykins:

Around my town theres really only white girls or maoris and I am not being racist but most maoris are ugly to me. Just their facial structure and standard features (flat nose and big lips)

That's really honest of you! I've never met any maoris but I do find the race-attractiveness interaction fascinating and think more scholarly research should be done on it.

rossatdi:

avykins:

Around my town theres really only white girls or maoris and I am not being racist but most maoris are ugly to me. Just their facial structure and standard features (flat nose and big lips)

That's really honest of you! I've never met any maoris but I do find the race-attractiveness interaction fascinating and think more scholarly research should be done on it.

My opinion in the matter (even though you didn't ask for it :p) is that, while there's more important things than appearance to worry about, preferring one race over another in terms of appearance is no more discriminatory than preferring blondes to brunettes. One of them is just easier to change than the other (hair dye versus cosmetic surgery).

Graustein:
while there's more important things than appearance to worry about, preferring one race over another in terms of appearance is no more discriminatory than preferring blondes to brunettes.

Good point. Although obviously appearance is important to an extent! Most relationships won't get far without it.

I've always wondered if there's any pattern to it. A number of my white friends have gone out with half white half oriental girls and another is in a long term relationship with someone of Sri Lankan decent. And others of my friends said they couldn't imagine being attracted to someone non-European.

latenightapplepie:

But seriously, never dated anyone. So terribly alone...

I'm getting a lot more depressing replies to the thread than I was expecting! Sorry to make everyone feel down. Although seeing as this is a computer games forum I should have been able to work that out.

Caliostro:

Disclaimer: NO. STOP. DO NOT HIT THAT QUOTE BUTTON. You did already? Hit back. I don't care about your views of my views, don't wanna hear it. This is -MY- personal opinion.

Calm down. Wouldn't be much of a discussion if people didn't, well, discuss.

I haven't dated anyone of different ethnicity, religion or nationality.

I wouldn't be averse to dating outside my nationality if it didn't mean the man or woman fell outside my standards of attractiveness. For example, there's a point where a dark tan or brown/black skin (and the common facial structure of black people) just makes a person unnattractive to me.

I would not date a non-atheist. Worshiping a fictional character is a real turn-off for me; as is believing one exists. A guy or girl can be incredibly hot until I notice the cross around his/her neck and I instantly lose all lust and/or respect.

Ethnicity is kind of covered in the nationality thing.

Like the guy above, Caliostro, I'm going to add a disclaimer: this is one thing I'm not interested in debating about. If you think I'm racist for finding certain people unattractive, either skip my posts in future or accept that it's a harmless prejudice - some black guy or girl isn't gonna get to have sex with me, oh noes. I'm not averse to talking to black people, or being friends, I just don't get physically attracted.

I hope that was clear enough... I'm betting not.

i've slept with two asian chicks, does that count?

I've never really thought about it, is not something i give that much consideration to. i mean I dont want to end up having to be hidden from parents and things, but you know, i never really had an issue with it

@ Jim - your parents would disapprove of you dating outside your religion/nationality/ethnicity?

I've probably read your post wrong, just seemed like that's what you meant.

Molikroth:
@ Jim - your parents would disapprove of you dating outside your religion/nationality/ethnicity?

I've probably read your post wrong, just seemed like that's what you meant.

avoiding going into too much detail, my housemate's freind is now in a load of trouble because hes asian girlfreind's parents disapprove of interratial dating. that's exactly the situation i want to avoid. sorry about the confusion

I dated a guy of Chinese descent for a week in Grade 8.

Different Religion? Fuck no. I'm sorry, but like famous comedian Dylan Moran said: "So I do respect all the differences [between religions] but I would say that if you believe in any of it you're a moron.". And I really wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone I'd consider to be stupid.

Funny because the right Jesuit would tear you to shreds intellectually. And being 'religious' doesn't necessarily connote a literal understanding of holy texts: evangelics, for example, take the Bible at face value (which I fail to comprehend), whereas the Catholic intelligentsia is largely comprised of individuals who favour allegorical interpretations. In this context, all they're doing is putting stock in the Bible as a moral text of the highest order: which, given its endurance, is hard to deny.

rossatdi:
I'm getting a lot more depressing replies to the thread than I was expecting! Sorry to make everyone feel down. Although seeing as this is a computer games forum I should have been able to work that out.

Well, if you want your thread to cheer you up somehow, my answer is 'All Three.

rossatdi:
Am I subconsciously avoiding non-white woman even if I find them attractive? Is this natural? Is it bad?

It may seem a little weird, even intimidating to you at first, but trust me: if you can talk to women, it doesn't matter if they're white, black, brown, green, or anything. Just go for it. Its better than sitting around wondering about it.

rossatdi:

Caliostro:

Disclaimer: NO. STOP. DO NOT HIT THAT QUOTE BUTTON. You did already? Hit back. I don't care about your views of my views, don't wanna hear it. This is -MY- personal opinion.

Calm down. Wouldn't be much of a discussion if people didn't, well, discuss.

I don't know if I'd worry too much about it around here.

sarahvait:
I don't know if I'd worry too much about it around here.

Usually it isn't necessary on this board, but there are some people who cry troll a little too easily.

AuntyEthel:

It may seem a little weird, even intimidating to you at first, but trust me: if you can talk to women, it doesn't matter if they're white, black, brown, green, or anything. Just go for it. Its better than sitting around wondering about it.

It's not like I'm scared of non-white people! I live in Harrow, half the population is of Indian origin. One of my oldest friends is of Indian decent. Just being clear on the decent thing because he acts a hell of a lot more British than I do! I hate the ethnic-nationality thing.

jim_doki:

avoiding going into too much detail, my housemate's freind is now in a load of trouble because hes asian girlfreind's parents disapprove of interratial dating. that's exactly the situation i want to avoid. sorry about the confusion

One of my best mates is the son of a muslim Pakistani dad and a white English material. He's going out with a blonde aetheist (he's stopped believing too) and he's in a world of shit with his Dad, mostly for the religious thing.

rossatdi:
It's not like I'm scared of non-white people! I live in Harrow, half the population is of Indian origin. One of my oldest friends is of Indian decent. Just being clear on the decent thing because he acts a hell of a lot more British than I do! I hate the ethnic-nationality thing.

Didn't really mean scared of non-whites. Its just as you said in the OP: its a little weird which makes you subconciously avoid it. On my first trip to London I somehow ended up in Harrow with an Indian girl. The whole ethnic-nationality thing is bullshit, I agree. One Love, and all that jazz.

AuntyEthel:

Didn't really mean scared of non-whites. Its just as you said in the OP: its a little weird which makes you subconciously avoid it. On my first trip to London I somehow ended up in Harrow with an Indian girl. The whole ethnic-nationality thing is bullshit, I agree. One Love, and all that jazz.

Agreed. You've been to Harrow? Poor you!

I think the most beautiful person I've ever seen in the flesh was actually a lady of African decent. I was drinking in a bar in New York and she came up next to us and ordered some drinks. She was clearly around 30 but actually blew us away. She looked like a model or an actress or something but seemed to just be hanging out with office folk.

latenightapplepie:

AuntyEthel:
The whole ethnic-nationality thing is bullshit, I agree.

I don't quite understand what you mean by this. Care to elaborate?

That people are in some way completely bound to others of exactly the same ethnicity/nationality/creed etc.

rossatdi:

Agreed. You've been to Harrow? Poor you!

Yeah, was a really weird night out. Never expected to end up somewhere like Harrow.

I've been with women of varying nationalities, ethnicities / indigenous groups, religious denominations, weight, height and other physical attributes. It was the only way to know what I was really looking for.

I don't mind as long as there is chemistry between us, and we let each other live with their values. I'm very mixed myself so no matter what ethnicity and nationality will be a factor when it comes to relationships.

I think the reason I'm not religious is because all my life I've been exposed to so many "versions of the truth" and I ended up not believing in any of them.

2 Half Filipinos and an Italian.

It seems I'm the only one who has voted 'Ethnicity & Nationality' so far. Must find religious girl now!

Sewblon:
I have never dated anyone.

aww.. I bet you have.. you just dont want to brag...

Well not dated, but I have...erm...entertained women of several diffrent nationalities and religions at my flat.