"Thats like cockslaping Mona Lisa" and the litle guy in picture sayin "Just keep smiling" from... i forgot which episode im so ashamed "takes a pistol shoots himself in te face"

'for the nerds whoa are to nerds what nerds are nor normal people' - EVE Online

something like 'the experience could have been recreated by walking along a road in the middle of nowhere, stopping every 5 steps to smack yourself in the eye with a hammer...and the road is a million miles long...and the hammer is made of wank'

here's a question: during the mailbag showdown review he uses emails he got from people, did anyone here send him any of the emails he used?

PureChaos:
here's a question: during the mailbag showdown review he uses emails he got from people, did anyone here send him any of the emails he used?

Send an email to Yahtzee? I think we're just a bit smarter than that.

We are currently living in the seventh generation of consoles if wikipedia is to be belived. Seven generations of fueding and inbreading like the residents of some backwards louisiana swamp, and this is around the time when the really interesting deformities start setting in, so while were on the subject let's start with the Wii.

like nintendo the ps3 is largely selling on future potential because of the promise of metal gear solid 4 and final fantasy 13 at some point, but if final fantasy 13 continues the tradition of most new final fantasy games, you could probbably simulate it by listening to the starwars sound track while huffing nitrosoxside and reading an excell spreadsheet

but there is also the classic, that everyone has decided to ignore, for some reason

but hey atleast there's violence and tits

GenHellspawn:

PureChaos:
here's a question: during the mailbag showdown review he uses emails he got from people, did anyone here send him any of the emails he used?

Send an email to Yahtzee? I think we're just a bit smarter than that.

I am so ashamed... I sent him one before I got my account and learned of the truth... it still haunts my dreams... AHHHHHHHHHHH! (Was not part of the episode though)

GTA 4

"write a letter to your mom press X to exaggerate financial standings"

Vivaldi:

GenHellspawn:

PureChaos:
here's a question: during the mailbag showdown review he uses emails he got from people, did anyone here send him any of the emails he used?

Send an email to Yahtzee? I think we're just a bit smarter than that.

I am so ashamed... I sent him one before I got my account and learned of the truth... it still haunts my dreams... AHHHHHHHHHHH! (Was not part of the episode though)

It was probably excluded because of any inherent intelligence within. He likes to think that the only people that don't like him are a bunch of retards.

"...you're better of drawing buildings in paint and then drawing boobs on them."

GenHellspawn:

Vivaldi:

GenHellspawn:

PureChaos:
here's a question: during the mailbag showdown review he uses emails he got from people, did anyone here send him any of the emails he used?

Send an email to Yahtzee? I think we're just a bit smarter than that.

I am so ashamed... I sent him one before I got my account and learned of the truth... it still haunts my dreams... AHHHHHHHHHHH! (Was not part of the episode though)

It was probably excluded because of any inherent intelligence within. He likes to think that the only people that don't like him are a bunch of retards.

Yeah, I can see Yahtzee doing that, it was not really about SSBB really, I just mentioned it.

Core Design handed the franchise over to some cheeseburger-inhaling Yanks who announced their intention to remake the first game and do it properly, which, as insults go, is like slapping you in the balls with your own dead dog.(Tomb Raider Legends)

Controversy can get really exasperating, such as when youthful paragons of self-control are called nasty names and decided that murder would be the wittiest comeback, and then is found to have stood next to a videogame at some point in the past, and then the media generally start drooling the usual uninformed questions as to whether wholesome boyish pretend violence has any correlation with the real world. Short answer: no. Long answer: No, and go f*** yourselves you ignorant scare-mongering cockbags(No, and I consider your argument uninformed).(Manhunt)

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, no chance you unreasonable dicks.(Manhunt)

I'd like to know how you think gaming is ever going to adapt as an art form if people go out of their way to make original games but f***wits like you never buy them because their too busy inhaling furious amounts of dick.(Psychonauts)

I'm just going to list out of context some of the things that occur in Psychonauts: a telekinetic bear, a dentist who harvests brains, a sequence wherein you become a giant Godzilla-style monster and terrorize a society of talking fish, and a shadowy trench coated government agent who disguises himself as a housewife by brandishing a rolling pin and talking disjointedly about pies. A game that features all these things simply cannot be criticized. It's against the law or something. (Psychonauts)

Just some more of my favs.

is he gay or not? sorry but i love gay jokes to do with mens "bits". i just find it funny.

hey, did you hear that the escapist is suing pure pwnage?

http://www.purepwnage.com/index.php?GUID=81964

then PP pointed out the parody laws and the fact that ZP uses unlicenced music and they retracted their claim. i sent yhatzee an e-mail about it and he did not reply. apprantly he is a dick head in real life, i know people who have met him.

For me it has to be either "It must get messy about that time of the month" or in army of two when there is the "No gay jokes since" And he says "... Who like it rough from men with hairy arses. No bad Yahtzee no"

the type of person that would replace his genetials with a minigun if he thought they could get away with it & if he found something else that he could piss out of.
or something along those lines.

Phantom2595:
The bug thing . "and whistled for a BABOON!'

This

Yahtzee, Siren: Blood Curse Review:

Survival horror is what I might call my pet genre, a pet I keep in the tool shed and feed broken glass, and in my awards for last year I accused everything that claimed survival horror status of being nothing but a parade of action games where some of the enemies jump very suddenly out of cupboards. But some viewers took issue with that. "What about Siren Blood Curse?" they cried. "While you were blindly clinging to the hope that the new developers would recover Silent Hill from the dustbin with the baked beans and fish heads cleaned off, the PS3 was enjoying a true original survival horror game full of all that Japanese-style horror you hold in such high esteem, watashi wa baka gaijin etc etc,"

I had to use the Internet to find out the exact translation but when I did I laughed so hard. Does that make me weird? Probably.

"As the exasperated chinese zookeper said to the last male panda in the world: F**K THAT!" - Halo Wars. Floored me for minutes. :D

"...then you're in for a kick in the balls. Maybe a gentler kick in the balls than most; an extremely pretty, well executed kick in the balls with the best of intentions, but at the end of the day you're still walking funny." (Followed by "I can't decide", Scissor Sisters) BioShock What got me hooked on ZP in the first place. :D

"'I'm not a fanboy', yes you are." - Mailbag showdown

"Unfortunately it's let down by the NPC's all being pants-on-heads retarded." - Halo 3

"For a few days it was like Schrodinger's console in a quantum state of both bricked and unbricked, until we finally tried playing something again and the waveform collapsed" - Console Wars

/S

Goldeneye103X2:
"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend the whole afternoon explaining that but no-one's going to eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!!!"

This, or maybe "if you can imagine lost vikings knocking up little big planet then the internet has clearly desensitized you to retarded sexualization."

The Heavy and Pyro short at the end of Sim City:societies.

Surprisingly touching.

.................Wearing silly hats!

Triple Cunted Hooker.

Meh, while I enjoy Yahtzee, nothing really stays in my memory from ZP. Except the happy explosion in his review for S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

It's like putting your dick in a cake. Yea it might have felt good, and you can spend all evening explaining it but nobody cares because YOU PUT YOUR DICK IN IT!

Probably not the exact words but that one mad me giggle for ages.

"To Jump you explode,to deflect missles you detonate,to throw switches you spontaneously combust"

"Where enemys can take an entire ammo dump to the torso and you think there would be nothing left besides their spinal column and the corn flakes they had for breakfast"

"I Thought we lost realisim when space marines were stabbing aliens on the planet Zog"

"One of the greatest reviewers I have ever seen.."

HELL NO. He is a great entertainer, he is funny, but he is NOT a good reviewer.

On topic: I don't really remember anything :[

Halo wars. "then the timer ran out. "we lost contact!" they yelled.

BULL
FUCKING
SHIT!
we did not lose contact, i was looking at them! they were right fucking there! we were close enough to communicate by waggling out eyebrows! what the fuck happenes when the stupid arbitrary timer runs out!"etc, etc.

Clive Barker's "Clive Barker's Jericho" (by Clive Barker)

That one always makes me chuckle.

The Prototype review (or actually Prototype vs. InFamous match) was full of pure gold.

"...But you definitely won't use any of those because the extremely-overpowered "entendo" tentacle does huge damamge, extremely long-range, and can isntantly liberate people's top halfs from their bottom-halfs so you will never use anything else. Admittedly it's not much help against buildings or armored targets but then you just use to hijack one of the gunships that the military will very kindly send to you in large quantities everytime you bully their friends."

"Cole has a tendency to get bogged down with climbing while Alex can shoot blood out of his wrists at jet engine velocity and fly like emo Peter Pan."

OMFG that whole episode makes me LMAO.

"This Game is evil, not like manhunt evil that makes kid put plastic gags over eachothers heads, THAT'S PUSSY EVIL!!!!!" In reference to the sims 3.

The old ladies in the Saints Row 2 review. :)

....And the hammer's made of wank

Can't remember exactly what it was, but something along the lines of "As difficult as coming up with smilies at three in the morning"

Gotta go with the saints row 2 old ladies bit.

or "i know it isnt funny to like games but FUCK YOU Portal's a great game and if you dont think so you must be stupid"

silent hill 2:
"it's a fascinating voyage of pain and despair that leaves you emotionally drained and satisfied, like fucking a burning dolphin"... on the floor for about 5 mins laughing at that bit

Right there! That's where that Charismatic Stallion won me over!