Just hours ago roughly 500 men with decidedly hazy, glased over expressions stumbled into the capital of Sierra Leone, Freetown, and started biting people indescriminantly. People who were bitten are reported to have fallen to the ground, convulsing, then risen again and staggered off with similar expressions of serene confusion.

Though experts agree that the most likely situation would be that one of the country's infamous groups of killers has gone on a cocaine binge of titanic proportions, and that their mouths contain sufficient traces of crack as to dope up their victums upon biting them, this newspaper has chosen to take the side of those who might be called the victims of this situation. We intereviewed one of the men roaming the town;

"Sir, what are you doing?" I asked while he chewed what appeared to be an arm, but what could have been a subway sandwich,

"Tcyeah, I'm a zombie, mon" He replied.

While no conclusions are being drawn about the self proclaimed Zombie Horde, this reporter advises people around the world to baricade themselves indoors and stock up on provisions and firearms.

I wish!

What would you do if, this time for real, Zombies started attacking your town? What would you do if the dead rose from their graves? what would you do if the witchdoctor down the street started telling everyone to sacrifice cats?

What would you, ladies and gentlemen, do in a Zombie Outbreak?

ps. Kudos to anyone who figured out the special thing about this post.

I'm not worried. I have my trusty "Zombie Survival Guide" with e at all time, just in case.

Edit: I hate to admit it, but if a real zombies outbreak happen, it would the happiest day of my life.

If a zombie outbreak ever occurs, I hope it's the kind of zombies from resident evil 1-3, and not the Dawn of the Dead ones, cause they are like... Extremely fast :O

Truthfully, I would be shitting my pants and crying for my mother. Eventually, my survival instinct would kick in, and I'd have to find some weapons (shovels are probably the best, since they are long but don't need ammunition), some team-mates, and barricade with supplies.

Perhaps it would play out like Left 4 Dead?

I'd grab my survival pack, call two friends, and hit the road immediately. We've had this planned for years.

SWEET! collect together the shiny sharp things! then run around pretending that the zombies are chavs, and cutting their heads off!

Ah, another zombie thread.

Well the last 6 months of running and press-ups finally comes to fruition. Die zombies, die!

Also, as long as they are classic Romero zombies not re-make Dawn zombies. That's no fun.

That would be the happiest day in my life! I'll grab my survival pack, weapons, and The Zombie Survival Guide.

Well, to be perfectly honest, the first thing I would do would be scream in anguish and cry a bit. I would scared out of my mind. After I collected myself, I would probably fight my way out of the infected area, and convince the remaining governments to bomb the area until it was a glassy plane, eradicating the infection for good. Seriously, we need to stop it before it spreads.

I would either be one of the first zombies, the ones that are killed before it's clear that it's a real outbreak

or I'd be ripped to shreds by a zombie, first human in the world to die by means of zombie.

I'd try to escape from the infected area, but eventually return after significant numbers of the zombies have been killed to assist in their eradication.

Unless they are the extremely fast type. In that case, I'd barricade myself in a secure area and constuct some kind of makeshift firebomb.

Steal a tank

If you ask me, it'll be fun!
Its a 1 shot chance to have a epic
fight of your life like Resident Evil,
but be sure your fast enough to avoid
the dog zombiezzzz, ouch!

Indigo_Dingo:
I'd be one of the few ones who looks at the zombies rationally, and figures out that they're not that much of a threat if don't panic.

that's what they want you to think.

Oh come on. I dont mind repeat topics but there is one of these topics made every freaking week. Unoriginal bastards -.-;;;

Promptly die.

rossatdi:
Ah, another zombie thread.

He almost figured out why this post is special!

Indigo_Dingo:
I'd be one of the few ones who looks at the zombies rationally

A la Shaun of the Dead, eh? Shopping [cart] arrangers, ps2 multi player drones, etc...

Indigo_Dingo:
I contributed a [fair] bit to that. I'd suggest seeing if you have the right upperbody strength before you try the sledgehammer cocoon.

Would you mind sending me 5,000 free copies? I'm a big fan... I won't re-sell...

avykins:
Oh come on. I dont mind repeat topics but there is one of these topics made every freaking week. Unoriginal bastards -.-;;;

he is -also- very close to figuring out the special thing about this post...

Forewarned is forearmed.

I know where i'm going, who i'm taking and how i'm getting there. It won't be the best day ever, might have to shoot friends and stuff, but all in all Z-Day would be an interesting one.

Certainly one you'd remember.

urprobablyright:

he is -also- very close to figuring out the special thing about this post...

What? Is this like the 10th zombie thread this week so you get a prize?

Or is it the first one to include a vaguely racist intro/real news story as a start?

Seriously what? Dazzle us.

Ok, see you have to clarify. Are the zombies the classic, really slow and stupid kind? Or are they the fast, insanely agile kind. Even worse, do some of them have special abilities (like Left 4 Dead).

So really, if its the fast, super powered kind, NO. I hope that never, ever, happens!

If its the really slow kind, HECK YES! Bring them on! The only people that fall to them will be the dumbest of the dumb, and I could just go out and kill them and take whatever is in their wallets...

rossatdi:

Seriously what? Dazzle us.

No mate I won't drop my pants.

I will however inform you that I'm copying myself - I made the exact same post two months ago.

I actually made this post as a satire of people who copy posts~

SOMETHING THAT ZOMBIES CAN BE USED FOR

If they're the freakish fast kind, then you can use them as rugby teams! Or, American Football teams (since, to me, American Footballers aren't as valuable as rugby players) that only ever do running plays!

I would find a bandanna, go to the nearest military base, loot all that shit and declare a war on intelligence. we iz goin on a WAAGH wiv da nobz an da slashin an da krushin, iz guna be great.

urprobablyright:

I actually made this post as a satire of people who copy posts~

Thread lock!

I have a crowbar. It is two metres long and heavy. Fun times abound.

Personally I wouldn't be too chuffed if there was a zombie outbreak :D

Whether the Zombies are slow or fast it wouldn't be fun (slow zombies are slow, but they have huge numbers).

...Unless of course I had access to a zombie-free 'mall'. Then it would be sweet, going shopping whilst cheesy 80's rock plays inexplicably in the background.

Nuke'em from orbit is what I would recommend.

first lemme get this out of my system. There are no zombies in left 4 dead, they are infected. Phew glad thts out.
Anyways onto the question, i dream about zombie outbreaks i'm a zombie fanatic. It'll probably take me a week or so to get use to all of it then ill be fine and able to kill zombies with an awesome headshot with a sniper rifle from 300 yards away :P

I think I'd quite enjoy it just aslong as I had a gun and plenty of ammo. Life is quite boring when you think about it, it would be fun to give the whole zombie thing a go.

I'll take the fallout 3 cure for radiation poisoning here aswell. "A bullet to the head"

I'd be scared as hell, but it would be nice to have one huge problem to focus on instead of worrying about lots of little things.

It would be awful, the world would collapse and if it wasn't contained just about everyone would die.

Of course, the ability to contain it would depend upon the nature of how the zombieism spreads.

Assuming that it goes the way of most films and games:

Infection spreads, military repel, constant battle for survival. Under these circumstances the economy would collapse, all 'survivors' would die within months if not weeks because you would not have sufficient food. You would lose all of your family and friends. I can't imagine much worse!