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Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3617 Joined: 7 Aug 2008     | |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2146 Joined: 7 Sep 2008    |
Seriously? Wow... That's supposed to be the most painful injury a person could get, short of 3rd degree burns all over their body.. All I can say is, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!"..................or, maybe, "Oh, dear- that would smart something terrible!" |
Wordsmith Extraordinaire  Posts: 10318 Joined: 28 Nov 2007    | I dislocated my left knee walking backwards. Emergency room doctor was an idiot, but that's a story that will only be clarified via PM. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1652 Joined: 1 Oct 2008    | jamp of a sofa when i was 1, got a concosion |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3406 Joined: 28 Jun 2008 | I died from a punctured lung. Yay for defibrillators! |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2019 Joined: 25 Jun 2008  | I've dislocated & shattered my knee. Had my arm sliced open in a failed mugging attempt. Busted my arm jumping over some railings. Literally had my head kicked in by a group of people in a fight. Accidentally stabbed myself in the palm & leg (different occasions). Cracked some ribs & generally got flattened at a Biohazard concert (because I felt sorry for the fat 25 stone skinhead who took 2 songs to climb up onto the speakers to stage dive, but no one wanted to try & catch him, except muggins here). Refused to tap-out from an arm bar in a Judo match with my instructor (which left me with one arm longer than the other for about a week). Stuck my fingers in a live light socket & got properly electrocuted (that was cool because time seemed to slow down as I wondered what that buzzing sensation was). Passed out after having my drink spiked & fell flat on my face onto the road, cutting & grazing my face & forehead up pretty well, plus giving me bad concussion. The thing is, none of those injuries particularly hurt much, maybe because of the adrenalin and/or my high pain tolerance to actual damaging physical pain. The things that have hurt the most have been quite superficial, like one time after a shower, before I got out I was brushing the surface water off my chest and stomach. My hand slipped down really fast & I flicked a bollock. That really hurt, about 5 seconds later. Another time I had been eating really poorly for about a week & it took me over an hour to take a really large dump. That was pain on an entire new level I didn't even think was possible. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1879 Joined: 11 Jul 2008  | I've been sooo lucky, no dislocations, huge gashes, breaks, nothing, never had a single stitch. I've gone thru two windows and been hit by a car, and knocked off a boat tho. Was very young when the boat thing happened and still have a phobia of open water. The worst thing I can think of was I'd let my toenails grow a bit too much, and I ran down stairs, somehow my toe curled under my foot as it landed, tore the nail up..then back, and drove it thru the top of the toe partly. Most pain I've ever known, having never broken anything. IT then got infected and swelled up, needing antibiotics. Nail still won't grow back straight, but at least forces me to take more care of them. What's amazing, is how much a single toe can pretty much immobilise your body, you're not walking any faster than a slow shuffle until it's in full working order again. EDIT: For more fun, forgot about the time I got out of the bath and decided, 'hey, time I turned all that stuff off, and reached for the bundle of plugs jammed into the wall...leaning on the radiator with my wet hands to bend down. The bad part of the resulting shock was my hands clenching and gripping the radiator and plugs for a few more seconds. Strangely it was scary, but not painful, and there's some amusement to be had from the muscle spasms I had later on. |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 76 Joined: 18 Oct 2008    | I cut my fingers pretty bad. Ended up slicing thru 2 tendons in my ring finger and 1 in my pinky. Here's a picture, but beware, its graphic. |
Paperboy  Posts: 47 Joined: 23 Nov 2008    | My worst was during goalkeeper training last year where I dislocated my kneecap and was in a full leg brace for the season |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1223 Joined: 13 Dec 2007   | I think I may have the record for the stupidest injury ever. When I was 4, I broke my arm by repeatedly jumping off the arm of a couch and not landing on my feet. JUMPING OFF A COUCH. It was a pretty big couch though. Runner up would be when I got thrown into the corner of a rectangular pole. The scar it left was only an inch or two long though. However, it's still there (albeit somewhat hard to see) about 5 years after I got it. |
Beat Writer  Posts: 137 Joined: 12 Mar 2008  | I burnt the tip of my cock with some straightners. |
Paperboy  Posts: 12 Joined: 13 Nov 2008   | Been shot with an arrow through the arm once. Also had stage 3 hypothermia when i fell through a frozen lake. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1587 Joined: 5 May 2008    | My friends and I, for reasons I cannot recall, decided it would be a good idea to rollerblade down a rather steep and bumpy hill onto a rough concrete floor. Of course this turned out to not be such a great idea, as I ended up catching an edge of something on my skate, flipping through the air, and landing on my left wrist. The orthopedic specialist I had to go see after the interns at the University College tired to set it and fucked it up said that it was the worst break he'd ever seen in his life. I also fell off a roof and damn near broke my spine once, but luckily I just had a concussion. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1868 Joined: 4 Oct 2007 | Worst injury, 3 cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder and a concussion, relatively painless due to the concussion yay ^^ |
Anonymous Source Posts: 3 Joined: 1 Dec 2008 | when i was 3 i thought it would be a good idea to jump of my toilet (i was SMALL) with my tounge out... i smashed my jaw so it closed down on my tounge almost at the speed of sound and it chopped my tounge clear off the blood man holy shit then i passed out when i woke up i had so much ice cream it was crazy, i fucking needed that ice cream. thought it would be a good idea to roll down a hill barrel style and ended up with my knee wanting to cap itself |
Infamous Scribbler  Posts: 592 Joined: 19 May 2008  |
Cause people don't seem to like it when you date their daughters. And this was a suburban mother who did this, so at least it's funny.
No, sadly, or else I'd be getting laid as I type. There's more for those who care to hear em. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1423 Joined: 7 May 2008   | I faceplanted into a wooden crate once - just a few stitches, though. Never broke anything in my life, which is kinda impressive seeing as I have a long history of falling on my drunk ass off my bike on my way home. I do have a nice bit chipped off my front teeth since I last took a dirt dive 50 paces from my doorstep. Yes, I was drunk. I look on the bright side of all that: at least now I know I'll NEVER even CONSIDER driving after even a single drink. If I wound myself that frequently when riding a bicycle, I don't want to know what happens when I 'm driving around 1000+ lbs of steel at 30 mph. I'm irresponsible with kinetic energy when inebriated. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 2633 Joined: 30 Sep 2008    |
^ WIN |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2633 Joined: 30 Sep 2008 |
Was that the buckshot or the one in the leg? |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1597 Joined: 13 Oct 2008  | Well, I grew up playing Ice Hockey, so I've had my fair share of injuries. And the list goes as follows, in no particular order of severity: 1. Severed thumb from being stepped on by another players skate. Thumb was reattached with a metal plate inserted in the bone. 2. Car crash, grade 4 concussion due to my airbag not deploying and the seat belts not being fitted properly. A man ran a stop sign, I hit him at 45mph, airbags didn't deploy, my seat belt was too low around my chest causing my head to smack the wheel. Very painful, from what I remember. 3. Six concussions all over grade 3 due to hits given and sustained during hockey games. Do you know how fun it is to wake up in a MRI machine? 4. Dislocated jaw due to a vicious hit given by me during a hockey game. I felt bad for the other kid because it shattered his jaw. 5. Playing with my puppy the other day. We were playing fetch with a frisbee in the park, and I was teasing her by not letting her have it. She had enough of it and jumped with her head first into my crotch. I went down like a ton of bricks, right in front of a bunch of little kids, and the mayor (he lives next door to me, right next to the park). Whats worse is that after I was down and out in the fetal position, she decided that we were still playing, and thus, began to hump my limp corpse. Worse than getting tea-bagged online, way worse... |
Infamous Scribbler Posts: 592 Joined: 19 May 2008 |
One in the leg, but the lady did catch me in the shoulder, too. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 3320 Joined: 29 Jul 2008  | My left eye was ripped out two years ago. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 2633 Joined: 30 Sep 2008 |
-shit... |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1423 Joined: 7 May 2008 |
This is the reason I try not to fall asleep on the couch. Everytime I do, I wake up with a clear gonzo view of one of my dog's bollocks. |
Gone Gonzo Posts: 1597 Joined: 13 Oct 2008 |
HAHAHAHA, that IS A GREAT REASON!!! The really sad part of my story is that my dog is a female, so I was 150% owned! |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1096 Joined: 6 Oct 2008  |
You pansys need weapons. We use our bodies. >_< |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1142 Joined: 16 Nov 2008  | Two broken ribs after a snowboard collided with them. Shattered my ankle while skating. Jammed a screwdriver through my hand while fixing the same skateboard that i shattered my ankle on. Sprained my ankle while playing football. Ran into the sidewalk. Great times |
Infamous Scribbler Posts: 592 Joined: 19 May 2008 |
Yeah, purrty much. |
Red Guard  Posts: 4903 Joined: 14 Oct 2007   |
I challenge you to take part in a year 11 Womens ice hockey game. See how vicious that shit gets. |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 52 Joined: 2 Dec 2008 | I've managed to hurt myself quite a few times from various sports, but I actually had my rib broken in an epic bear hug from a friend. Now if the agony associated with breathing wasn't bad enough, there was a much more dismal fate awaiting me. Now, many women argue men cannot understand pain because they will never experience child birth, however, I disagree, taking a dump with a broken rib was the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced, sitting on the toilet screaming for an epidural. |
Beat Writer  Posts: 167 Joined: 28 May 2008  | Worst I ever got was a papercut. I feel like a wimp now =( |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 4065 Joined: 23 Apr 2008   |
Give in to your desires and turn to the dark side. It is...inevitable... EDIT: Also, given the rest of your post, I think your officially allowed to use "My mother-in-law" jokes. |
Gone Gonzo  Posts: 1098 Joined: 31 Mar 2008     | I was in an airplane crash when I was 14. I had to kick the window out, crawl out, and go get help. I did all with a broken foot and few bruised bones too. |
Infamous Scribbler Posts: 592 Joined: 19 May 2008 |
"That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your death. Goodbye, Mr. Anderson." The chick who shot me would be my mother in law, but it's kinda frowned upon for 15 year olds to marry each other. Just sayin'. |
Copy Clerk  Posts: 78 Joined: 19 Nov 2008 | it was my birthday celebration party and we were drinking a lot.. when it was 4 in the morning my friends decided to go home since they were too tipsy and drunk.. then i was waving them goodbye and decided to jump on the trunk of my friend's car and fuckingly sick my friend step on the gas abd run his car, i was too drunk to think and raised my hand like superman but realized its a scary think and shouted to my friend to stop, and he did, he did a sudden stop and got me rolling over the trunk and to the road and when i opened my eyes, i saw the tire inches away from my head i was beneath the bumper.. hahaha i got wounds and bruises all over my back and my arms and my but hahahaha.... it hurt a lot.. wuh.. |
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I had to have my head glued together when I was about 6.
I broke my collar bone when I was about 12
Broke my nose when I was 14. Didn't hurt, just kept spontaneously bleeding.
So now I'm 15.