WolfMage:

Doug:

WolfMage:

And I'd be having a damn good martini.
(Must...Not...Say the line...!)

Give in to your desires and turn to the dark side. It is...inevitable...

EDIT: Also, given the rest of your post, I think your officially allowed to use "My mother-in-law" jokes.

"That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your death. Goodbye, Mr. Anderson."

The chick who shot me would be my mother in law, but it's kinda frowned upon for 15 year olds to marry each other. Just sayin'.

Just saying, its in the bank for when you need it ;)

Bruised my ribs in high school during a stupid tackling drill. Here's the drill.

Take ball and run straight. Do not deviate from your course, do not try to dodge the tacklers, get tackled.

Seriously, that was a drill. So I go running in a straight line to be tackled by either our number 1 corner or our number 1 linebacker, i'm not entirely sure because they came at me at the same time. It hurt lots. Bruised ribs. Stupid drill.

Labyrinth:

CoziestPigeon:

WolfLordAndy:
Amusing thing is footballers that claim hockey is a womans sport.

You pansys need weapons. We use our bodies.

>_<

I challenge you to take part in a year 11 Womens ice hockey game. See how vicious that shit gets.

Just to clarify, I mean field hockey, and "soccer". Ice hockey has pads and helmets and stuff!

Walked into a chair and bent my little toe sideways... or the time when a metal wire went though my outer skin and I had to pull it out of that thin layer of said skin.

Labyrinth:

CoziestPigeon:

WolfLordAndy:
Amusing thing is footballers that claim hockey is a womans sport.

You pansys need weapons. We use our bodies.

>_<

I challenge you to take part in a year 11 Womens ice hockey game. See how vicious that shit gets.

More hot, I think.. :P

meatloaf231:
I fell down an entire flight of stairs and landed on a cactus.

I'm sorry, but that sounds like something I watched on Cartoon Network the other night.

Swenglish:

meatloaf231:
I fell down an entire flight of stairs and landed on a cactus.

I'm sorry, but that sounds like something I watched on Cartoon Network the other night.

Except this actually happened. It really does hurt, though. The pain comes not from the needles being embedded in you as much as it comes from trying to get them out.

I feel lucky, a straight kick in the balls is the worst I've had.

PersianLlama:
I feel lucky, a straight kick in the balls is the worst I've had.

I get that at least 3 times a week playing rugby. 'Tis painful to say the least, should probably get a cup...

PersianLlama:
I feel lucky, a straight kick in the balls is the worst I've had.

You will probably find this a hoot then.

cuddly_tomato:

PersianLlama:
I feel lucky, a straight kick in the balls is the worst I've had.

You will probably find this a hoot then.

Ouch...and also funny.

Broke a toe. Fortunately I have a desk job so I don't have to spend my days standing on it. Still getting to and from work was a bitch. Toes are really one of the worst bones to break.

I happen to be a lucky person, the worst I've had was a micro-fracture on my foot because I got pissed at my bike's squeaky tire and kicked it... While I was on it. Foot slammed into the tire fork and I did a somersault over the thing.

It stopped squeaking, oddly enough. I proceeded to walk, run, and jump around for about a month before experiencing any long-term pain. And even then it wasn't that bad. Still, it was an excuse to use a cane and be an ass to my friends and get away with it.

EDIT: WOOT! MY 150th POST! FREE CAKE FOR EVERYONE!

a few years ago I dislocated my right elbow when it got caught between the tarp and frame of a trampolen

When I was five I fell down the bleachers at a football game and broke my nose and when i was 4 or 5 I ran my head into the tailgate of my dad's truck

and lastly a year ago i was climbing a tree for the hell of it and the branch I was on broke and when i hit the ground I just kind of lied there for a while then the branch that broke hit me in the head

Labyrinth:

CoziestPigeon:

WolfLordAndy:
Amusing thing is footballers that claim hockey is a womans sport.

You pansys need weapons. We use our bodies.

>_<

I challenge you to take part in a year 11 Womens ice hockey game. See how vicious that shit gets.

Wait, seriously? I'm Canadian, I know ice hockey. Women's is tame a my kitten. They aren't even ALLOWED to hit eachother.

I once severed my Achilles tendon with a weed whacker.

No explanation will be given.

Although I've never broken a bone, I've still sustained some nasty if minor injuries. I sliced about halfway through the gap between my thumb and index finger with the sharp edge of a tuna can while feeding my cats. Damn cats.
I also managed to get a half-inch long piece of pottery embedded in the ball of my right foot once while walking across my driveway. Don't know why it was there, but it didn't really hurt going in. Coming out, however, was a different story. I must have lost about a mugful of blood in the process of removing it.
Once when I was about nine I was using a razor blade to cut up a piece of Styrofoam (God only knows why) and shaved off just about all the skin on the left side of my right index finger. Being nine years old and afraid of being caught using a razor blade to slice stuff up, I coated my finger in Band-Aids and then wrapped it in about 30 miles of scotch tape to stop the bleeding. Needless to say, pulling off the bandages after a week, it did not look pretty. So yeah.

I broke my leg biking (door prized) 6 weeks ago, in 2 days I walk! It didn't hurt, just confused me and all I can remember is my brain telling me to haul my usless carcass off the road before I got ran over.

CoziestPigeon:
Wait, seriously? I'm Canadian, I know ice hockey. Women's is tame a my kitten. They aren't even ALLOWED to hit eachother.

I saw the above title game once.. well, the middle of it. Three people were off with blood streaming down them by the time I left.

Hmm... let's see..... fractured skull, broken rib and a slice up my side big enough to make a samurai jealous. We are talking about from the same incident, yeah?

I burned my right hand with olive oil 2 months ago. the burn marks are still on my hand.

I was decapitated once.

PROOF.

WolfMage:

TommyGun465:

WolfMage:
Hmm, car crash, got a concussion.
Shot in the leg.
Buckshot to the back.
Horse threw me once. One of the only time I got on one, too.
Three stab wounds.
Shall I continue?

Holy shit, why did you get shot?

Cause people don't seem to like it when you date their daughters. And this was a suburban mother who did this, so at least it's funny.

Lol, thats a pretty awesome story. I was once in a similar situation. But since I am 13, the father couldnt hurt me physicly (Yay for under-age).

Man. Reading this makes me feel lucky.

I've only had two deep cuts on my fingers from an army knife closing on them, a few cuts in the head (Once from a drawer) and nearly drowned ...5 or 6 times.

I fell off a water tower once, but there was a LOT of snow and I wasn't actually hurt that badly. I haven't actually had any serious, life-and-mobility-threatening injuries, despite all the stupid crap I've done to myself.

The worst thing I can remember is what happened when I tried to shave my legs while I was drunk. It was New Year's day, six in the evening, and I had been drinking since I woke up. My friends and I had the idea to go out to a fancy Greek restaurant for our first supper of the year, and being as we mostly girls, went off to groom ourselves into something that didn't look as messed up as we felt. While I was shaving my legs, my mind wandered off somewhere, drifting along such important topics as flaming cheese and who would play Mega Man in a live-action movie. I was brought back to reality by the innocent notation that my foot was warm, and when I looked down there was a great bloody cataract all down my leg. I had not just cut myself, but peeled the skin right off. There was an unsettlingly long curlicue of pale skin stuck to the razor, like Satan's own pencil shavings. Oh, and when you're already spinny-headed from intoxication, blood loss gets EXTRA FUN.

I screamed a lot, and did not get flaming cheese that night.

Mnemophage:
I fell off a water tower once, but there was a LOT of snow and I wasn't actually hurt that badly. I haven't actually had any serious, life-and-mobility-threatening injuries, despite all the stupid crap I've done to myself.

The worst thing I can remember is what happened when I tried to shave my legs while I was drunk. It was New Year's day, six in the evening, and I had been drinking since I woke up. My friends and I had the idea to go out to a fancy Greek restaurant for our first supper of the year, and being as we mostly girls, went off to groom ourselves into something that didn't look as messed up as we felt. While I was shaving my legs, my mind wandered off somewhere, drifting along such important topics as flaming cheese and who would play Mega Man in a live-action movie. I was brought back to reality by the innocent notation that my foot was warm, and when I looked down there was a great bloody cataract all down my leg. I had not just cut myself, but peeled the skin right off. There was an unsettlingly long curlicue of pale skin stuck to the razor, like Satan's own pencil shavings. Oh, and when you're already spinny-headed from intoxication, blood loss gets EXTRA FUN.

I screamed a lot, and did not get flaming cheese that night.

So do you still have to shave that strip of flesh on your leg or did peeling yourself destroy the follicles for you?

I broke my ankle (Wrestling), two ribs (Kickboxing), my hand (MMA), collarbone (Wrestling), nose (Kickboxing), gotten four stitches over my left eye (MMA), sliced open my hand from my pinky to right before my wrist (Skateboarding fell on some glass), cut my right hands middle finger halfway through the bone (glass door to my shower fell off while I was taking a bath), cracked the side of my jaw bone (MMA), and have gotten 4 concussions (MMA 2, Wrestling 1, skating 1).
The worst was my ankle because I wasn't able to do anything for like 2 and a half months, this was in the middle of summer so there weren't any new games coming out either, except Final Fantasy Crisis Core, that was pretty good. But I never played Final Fantasy 7 so I was lost in the plot for the most part.

TommyGun465:

WolfMage:

TommyGun465:

WolfMage:
Hmm, car crash, got a concussion.
Shot in the leg.
Buckshot to the back.
Horse threw me once. One of the only time I got on one, too.
Three stab wounds.
Shall I continue?

Holy shit, why did you get shot?

Cause people don't seem to like it when you date their daughters. And this was a suburban mother who did this, so at least it's funny.

Lol, thats a pretty awesome story. I was once in a similar situation. But since I am 13, the father couldnt hurt me physicly (Yay for under-age).

You really think that makes a damn bit of difference?
I was 14 when that happened.
Here's some advice:
Buy a bullet-proof vest.

I burnt my penis with a desk lamp. No explanation will be given.

Accidently hit my own foot with an axe.
Could see the bone, all the layers of flesh and skin.
It wasn't that bad for the first 5 mins(shock) but then the pain returned. NOT COOL.

WolfMage:
Hmm, car crash, got a concussion.
Shot in the leg.
Buckshot to the back.
Horse threw me once. One of the only time I got on one, too.
Three stab wounds.
Shall I continue?

Jesus Christ, what do you do for a living? Maybe some storys behind all that

My worst physical pain would have to be during a round of AFL (Australian Football League). I was in the ruck with some little dude, and while I stood there to tap the ball, he full on ran up and kneed me in the nut sack to get some height.

Than my coach kneeled down, rested his hand on my shoulder and said to me, "Atleast you know your male"

while i can say those would hurt there a lot worse then a broken nose or a fracture on your head. and i can say hokey isn't a womens' sport i can also say that the idea of a 7ft, 400 pound guy, running 4.5 in the 40 meter dash, ramming straight at you with the intent of killing you sounds a whole lot worse then grown men on ice shooting passing a puck around.

personally i've never been stupid enough to have anything major what-so-ever happen to me. Never broke a bone in my life and i hope to continue on this path for a while. the worse thing that has really happened to me was when my brother lightly cut me "accidentally", no stitches, no band aid even, just one paper towel and a lot of killing having to be done.

Sackwak:

Jesus Christ, what do you do for a living? Maybe some storys behind all that

My worst physical pain would have to be during a round of AFL (Australian Football League). I was in the ruck with some little dude, and while I stood there to tap the ball, he full on ran up and kneed me in the nut sack to get some height.

Than my coach kneeled down, rested his hand on my shoulder and said to me, "Atleast you know your male"

beautiful

Split my scull open as a kid messing about on my bed. did a running jump onto the bed into the wall.

On holiday broke my foot in a fight and refused to go to E+A as i did not want spend the rest of the holiday in hospital.