Okay, so here's a question. May belong in Forum Games, but I'm taking a shot here.

If you had to assemble a crack five-person team to help you through life's problems, who would they be and why?

For me, my five-person crew would be thus:

1. Alan Greenspan: Sure, his lassiez-faire cavalier attitude possibly caused the current economic crisis, but he's always got a place in my heart and council, plus I laugh every time I see his face.

2. Snoop Dog: Every person needs to keep things in perspective, and I believe snoop would be an apt candidate for 'keeping it real'. Plus, he brings in the bitches like they were givin' away panties. WHO SAID THAT!? THAT WAS RUDE AND SEXIST!

3. Al Gore: Generally a wise man who people should listen to on a number of issues, and he can help me be carbon neutral in this hectic energy-consuming world.

4. Tina Fey: Probably smarter than Sarah Palin, plus she's Tina Fey. Nuff said.

5. Bono: I know what you're thinking. Why would I want a pompous wanker like Bono to be part of my brains trust? Well, I don't really, but if any of my problems involve putting on a benefit gig, he'd be the guy I want in my corner.

DISCUSS

Do they have to be living?

I thought the expression was "Brain Trust"...

But I digress, mine would be something along the lines of:

1. Chuck: Norris: Hello, its Chuck Norris
2. Jason Statham: Tranpsorter, need I say more
3. Brain Boitano: If you have seen the South Park movie you know why.
4. The Janitor from Scrubs: He is insane.
5. Banksy: Someone's got to leave a mark for were we have been.

1. Larenxis: Well, she's helped me out thus far.
2. Steve McQueen: Giving me only awesome advice in everything.
3. James Dean: See above.
4. Ghandi: He's a pretty nice guy. He'll help me choose the wise decision. Thor knows, no one on this list will.
5. Steve McQeen: Why not get him twice?

1. Che Guevara. For guerrilla tactics, who else? Additionally, he could help me out in my battle against the capitalist pigs.
2. Mila Jovich. Does this need explaining? Well, okay, she can kick arse, and she's gorgeous.
3. Oscar Wilde. For witty remarks and general amusement.
4. M.C Escher. He can teach me to draw better.
5. Friend of mine, Adam. Because we just work so well together, and our shared Nihilistic cynicism is fun.

1) Johnny Knoxville - seems like the kinda guy who could get you into all kinds of trouble/fun. Plus if you need someone to take a punch for you, he's your man.

2) David Aaronovitch - a columnist for The Times and generally comes out with the most sensible, informed positions I've ever heard.

3) Adam West - total dude and would be an awesome wiseman to have as a got to guy.

4) Natalie Haynes - Funniest female comedian I've ever seen, damned smart and see's pretty easy on the eyes (for a 34 year old!).

5) John Mearsheimer - Professor of Politics and the University of Chicago and continually comes out with smart, pragmatic theories.

orifice:
Do they have to be living?

The ability to actually converse with them would help

1 Nikolai Tesla, science advisor, (and under appreciated genius!)
2 Niccolo Machiavelli, political advisor, (and other things!)
3 Sun Tzu, Military advisor, obviously!
4 The Janitor from scrubs!, essential to any brain trust!
5 Professor Farnsworth, Doomsday device manufacture!

1) Brandon Bird- We'll get an interesting painting of whatever happens.
2) John Wayne- He was Chuck Norris before Chuck Norris.
3) Karl Pilkington- For my eternal amusement
4) Kari Byron from Mythbusters- Every group needs a girl. And she's freakin' hot. And pretty smart, too. Win all around on that one.
5) Jamie Hyneman from Mythbusters- I envy the 'stache. And he can build anything.

Great thread. Kudos.

1) My dad. Great guy, smart and reliable. Plus, he's a lawyer!
2) Oprah Winfrey. Apparently we need a female. Besides, that way we can mobilize her million-strong work force of American housewives.
3) Marcus Tullius Cicero. As writer and spokesman with his mad oratory skillz.
4) Socrates/Plato. For wisom, cos let's face it - none of the above are bringing it!
5) Dylan Moran. For shits and giggles obviously!

PurpleRain:
1. Larenxis: Well, she's helped me out thus far.
2. Steve McQueen: Giving me only awesome advice in everything.
3. James Dean: See above.
4. Ghandi: He's a pretty nice guy. He'll help me choose the wise decision. Thor knows, no one on this list will.
5. Steve McQeen: Why not get him twice?

Just so you know, Ghandi was horribly racist. Anyways, on to my list.

1. Patrick Stewart - Come on, it's goddamn Picard!
2. Gabe Newell - I bet he has great taste in food.
3. John Carmack - He could program a solution to starvation.
4. Arnold Shwarzenegger - Whenever we need an escape plan, Arnold's our man. "GET TO DA CHOPPAH!"
5. Bruce Willis - When shit hits the fan, he's your man.

1) terry prachett - amusing philosopher

2) Leonardo da vinci - inventor (alway useful to have a couple of death rays knocking about

3) Agent 47 - bodyguard (can i have non-real people? if not; that russian bloke who could shot with both hands, apparently very loyal)

4) Stalin - to make all the hard choices in my life (the right answer will always be; kill them)

5) Churchill - speech writer/negotiator

Since there is no problem in life, that can't be solved with huge amounts of ass kicking, I would go with:

1. Chuck Norris

2. Jet Li

3. Steven Seagal

4. Triple H

5. Bruce Campbell

(Cookie for the reference)

1. My friend Adam
2. My friend Aaron
3. My mom
4. Diana Hsieh
5. My friend Darius

Celebrities are twits.

Mine would be:
TheGhostOfSin- because his amazingly awesome!

Achmed the Dead Terrorist- because his just funny and he can kill people.

My pet 'Damian 'd' Bunny'- because she can scratch and we have a lot of similarities.

Goku (from dragon Z)- because he can do a Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Ha

and last but not least my friend Tilly Toast- because she's a super Toast with cheese on top!

Sun Tzu
Winston Churchill
Clint Eastwood
Edward Norton
And then lastly I'd want George W Bush, so that we'd have someone to bully, to make us feel good.

Jesus.

1. Avgn- He lets me know about the bad games from when I was a kid and those games are always great to prank people with.
2. George Romero- 'nuff said
3. David Lynch- You need to see Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks.
4. Miyamoto- for his old great games and not crap like Wii Music.
5. Jason Vorhees- He smites the sinners and bad 80's fashions.

Kevin Smith - Part dispenser of sage-like wisdom, part comic relief. What's not to love?

Steve-O - Every effective group needs to have that one "wildcard" that they can send out to do something incredibly stupid and risky. Who's better at doing that than Steve-O?

Olivia Wilde - Best known as "Thirteen" off of House. The group's token girl. Both smart and gorgeous.

Adam Savage - The other host off of Mythbusters (Jamie was already taken). He's like a modern day MacGyver with a mischievous streak.

Vinnie Jones - Watch him in any Guy Ritchie movie, especially as "Bullet-Tooth Tony" in Snatch. He's the kind of hard ass that I'd want on my side in a fight. Plus he was the Juggernaut, bitch.

Tina Fey- You're exactly right, Hey Joe. Plus, she holds sway with both straight chicks and lesbians, 'cause they rated her the Hottest women of the year.
Paula Deane: She lives the kinda life I want to live. Except with more art and less butter.
Martha Stewart: Because I need to learn how to be a better aggressive white man while maintaining femenine wyles.
I want to put Thereau up here, but he's dead. I can't decide who else at the moment. I'll let it mull.

Murrah:
Achmed the Dead Terrorist- because his just funny and he can kill people.

He never actually killed anyone. He had a premature detonation.

Anarchemitis:
Jesus.

This, plus...

-Dumbledore, he's pritty good at this kind of shit

-Stephen Hawkens, partly because he's pritty smart, but mostly because he's in the simpsons all the time.

-Bob Geldoth. He's obviously trying to help, even if he is just basically mugging people "Give me your fucking money!"

-Master Chief. He wouldn't be part of the thinking, we'd just murder him, solving one of the major problems.

I'll quote other people:

Anarchemitis:
Jesus.

SomeBritishDude:

Master Chief. He wouldn't be part of the thinking, we'd just murder him, solving one of the major problems.

orifice:
The Janitor from scrubs!, essential to any brain trust!

rossatdi:
Adam West - total dude and would be an awesome wiseman to have as a got to guy.

needausername:
Jason Statham: Tranpsorter, need I say more

Shigeru Miyamoto - Never have to come up with ideas ever again!
Paul Barnett - Always a hit at partys
Dylan Moran - He can talk about the tings!!
Satan - Just because i can
Tony Stark - Iron Man can protect me and il get cool gadgets

I need no one! NO ONE!

Methinks;

Oscar Wilde: Comic genius and philosopher
Churchill: For those grand speeches of his
Russell Brand: Who'd be like a real life version of the Kama Sutra
Frankie Boyle: Negotiator- "100 virgins? we'll give ya fifteh slags" *Reference*
Jeremy Clarkson: For novel solutions to everyday problems, and I assume he'd come with the Stig.

Arr:

Jebus - He can make wine from water. Think of the parties, man. Also, spiritual wisdom and that.
Socrates - The father of all philosophy (At least, according to his #1 fanboi, Plato) - fun times.
John Cleese and / or Eric Idle - Witty, wonderful men to provide surreality and excellent banter.
Brian Blessed - He can unmake things with the sheer volume of his voice. None can stand in his way. Also, he's insanely hardcore and could make Chuck Norris eat his own ass.
Karl Marx - One of the world's most brilliant thinkers and economists. With added ethical goodness and angry revolutionary tendencies.

Damn some of mine have already been mentioned.

Dylan Moran - (He seems very popular)I enjoy his surreal yet accurate analogies and anecdotes, he can drink for Britain and he's a generally worldly and wise man.

My mate Dean - Always seems to be able to give me a little perspective about things and really does come out with some cracking advice when I really need it.

Bruce Lee - Not only to beat the living shit out of people when the time calls but to also tutor me in the art of whoop-ass.

Derren Brown - Using his psychological voodoo I can't think of a better person to weasel a way out of a sticky situation. He's also be brilliant for poops n' giggles, getting him to mess with Bruce's head.

Lucy Pinder - Have you seen her?!

Brent Corrigan.
Tommy Anders.

I'll have to think on the other three. If we're assuming our chosen five have to be alive currently, that doesn't leave me with much to choose from. Currently it's more of a harem than a "brains trust".

Helmet:
2) John Wayne- He was Chuck Norris before Chuck Norris.

Wrong. Chuck Norris was John Wayne after John Wayne.

Bill Gates - That handles money
Stephen Hawkings - Brain indeed
Fedor Emilianeko - If anyone messes with me
Jessica Alba - To pleasure me
George Carlin - Perspective and Comedy

I think I'm going to ignore the whole "has to be alive/real" recomendation.

Rutherford B. Hayes: For all my anti-meme needs, plus he looks super awesome.

Gerald: I have my reasons.

Orson Welles: Because his voice is awesome, and he managed to fool about 3 million people with a radio broadcast.

Abraham Lincoln: Why the hell not?

Jesus: Because every brain trust needs someone who's job it is to get the chips.

Stephen Fry for cleverness.
James Hunt for coolness and driving skillz.
Ash Williams for quips, and lots of them. Oh yeah the chainsaw and boomstick are pretty cool too.
Aaron Funk for awesome DJing skillz.
Eddie Izzard - Just in case I get COVERED IN BEES.

Zombie_King:

Helmet:
2) John Wayne- He was Chuck Norris before Chuck Norris.

Wrong. Chuck Norris was John Wayne after John Wayne.

Good call, sir. Good call.

1. God - Can do anything and everything
2. Jesus - Miracles FTW
3. Zeus - Smite them Zeus!!
4. Buddha - Joly guy
5. Russel Peters - Freaking hilarious