Customer: Hello I wish to register a complaint. Hello Miss? Shop Assistant: What do you mean Miss? Customer: Oh, I'm sorry I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint. Shop Assistant: Sorry, we're closing for lunch. Customer: Never mind that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Shop Assistant: Oh yes the Norwegian Blue - what's wrong with it? Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it my lad, it's dead, that's what's wrong with it. Shop Assistant: No, no it's resting, look. Customer: Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now. Shop Assistant: No, no it's not dead it's resting... Customer: Resting?! Shop Assistant: Yeah, remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage innit? Customer: The plumage don't enter into it, it's stone dead. Shop Assistant: No no it's resting. Customer: Alright then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. "Halloo Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up Polly parrot! Shop Assistant: (Knocks the cage) There it moved! Customer: No it didn't! That was you pushing the cage! Shop Assistant: I did not! Customer: Yes you did! Halloo Polly! Wakey wakey! (bangs it on counter) Rise and Shine! (bangs it on counter) This is your nine o'clock alarm call (throws it on the floor) now that's what I call a dead parrot. Shop Assistant: No no it's stunned. Customer: Stunned? Shop Assistant: Yeah! You stunned him just as he was waking up. Norwegian Blues stun easily. Customer: Look my lad I've had just about enough of this, that parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk. Shop Assistant: It's probably pining for the fjords. Customer: Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that, look why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home? Shop Assistant: The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back, beautiful plumage. Customer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there. Shop Assistant: Well of course it was nailed there otherwise it would of muscled up to those bars and "voom"! Customer: Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if I put 4,000 volts through it, its bleedin' demised. Shop Assistant: It's not, it's pining. Customer: It's not pining it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This, is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushin' up the daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! "THIS IS AN EX PARROT!" Shop Assistant: Guess I'd better replace it then (walks into store cupboard) Customer: If you wanna get anything done in this country you gotta complain 'till you're blue in the mouth. Shop Assistant: Sorry squire, I've had a look, we're right out of parrots. Customer: I see, I get the picture. Shop Assistant: I've got a slug. Customer: Does it talk? Shop Assistant: Not really. Customer: Then it's scarcely a replacement then. Shop Assistant: Look mate, I didn't wanna work in a pet shop. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Customer: I'm sorry, this is irrelevant.
007Loser: Customer: Hello I wish to register a complaint. Hello Miss? Shop Assistant: What do you mean Miss? Customer: Oh, I'm sorry I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint. Shop Assistant: Sorry, we're closing for lunch. Customer: Never mind that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Shop Assistant: Oh yes the Norwegian Blue - what's wrong with it? Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it my lad, it's dead, that's what's wrong with it. Shop Assistant: No, no it's resting, look. Customer: Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now. Shop Assistant: No, no it's not dead it's resting... Customer: Resting?! Shop Assistant: Yeah, remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage innit? Customer: The plumage don't enter into it, it's stone dead. Shop Assistant: No no it's resting. Customer: Alright then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. "Halloo Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up Polly parrot! Shop Assistant: (Knocks the cage) There it moved! Customer: No it didn't! That was you pushing the cage! Shop Assistant: I did not! Customer: Yes you did! Halloo Polly! Wakey wakey! (bangs it on counter) Rise and Shine! (bangs it on counter) This is your nine o'clock alarm call (throws it on the floor) now that's what I call a dead parrot. Shop Assistant: No no it's stunned. Customer: Stunned? Shop Assistant: Yeah! You stunned him just as he was waking up. Norwegian Blues stun easily. Customer: Look my lad I've had just about enough of this, that parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk. Shop Assistant: It's probably pining for the fjords. Customer: Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that, look why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home? Shop Assistant: The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on its back, beautiful plumage. Customer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there. Shop Assistant: Well of course it was nailed there otherwise it would of muscled up to those bars and "voom"! Customer: Look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if I put 4,000 volts through it, its bleedin' demised. Shop Assistant: It's not, it's pining. Customer: It's not pining it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This, is a late parrot! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushin' up the daisies! It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! "THIS IS AN EX PARROT!" Shop Assistant: Guess I'd better replace it then (walks into store cupboard) Customer: If you wanna get anything done in this country you gotta complain 'till you're blue in the mouth. Shop Assistant: Sorry squire, I've had a look, we're right out of parrots. Customer: I see, I get the picture. Shop Assistant: I've got a slug. Customer: Does it talk? Shop Assistant: Not really. Customer: Then it's scarcely a replacement then. Shop Assistant: Look mate, I didn't wanna work in a pet shop. I wanted to be a lumberjack. Customer: I'm sorry, this is irrelevant.
I love Monty Python, but I've always preferred their style and individual talents over any one particular sketch.
For me, apart from everything else, it's the little things, like in Holy Grail where the guards are watching Lancelot running closer & closer to them, but it's the same clip looping over & over until he runs them through, or the totally surreal alien abduction part in Life Of Brian
It's all good, in different ways. To me, to name any one particular sketch as the best would seem to be discounting all the other brilliance.
I think my favourite sketch would change depending on my mood, and how long ago I saw it. They're all my favourites after just watching them.
I can't name any favourite sketch or film, mostly they're all good, but to sum them up best: Monty Python truly are greater than the sum of their parts.
Although, if the Spanish Inquisition forced an answer out of me with comfy chairs and fluffy pillows, it may be Holy Grail, because I love all that Medieval pomp & circumstance...
But then again, Life of Brian.... It's an impossible question beyond the initial statement that I love Monty Python.
I do enjoy Monty Python and their Ministry of Silly Walks, Parrot Sketch, Holy Grail, etc. However, I love how Family Guy made fun of their stuff that wasn't "funny or memorable."
Quoted from the show:
"I have a pet hedgehog named Skippy! And I shall walk him into town! And every time I step on my left foot, I shall say 'Boing! Boing!'"
Ministry of Silly Walks always does it for me. Although the Black Knight scene can be used in any situation where someone is brutally maimed for comedic effect.
"Oh god, my legs!" "'tis but a scratch!" *everyone laughs*
runtheplacered: I don't know.. I would think a real fan of Monty Python would find it impossible to choose just one.
Not sure what to say to that, really. :P
Haha, yeah my comment didn't leave a whole lot of room for conversation. Sorry about that. I just got off work and am tired.
I could probably pick out my favorite movie, though. The Holy Grail. But it's the sum of all its parts that makes it so great, not necessarily just one or two parts.
Although not to discount the series or other movies, because Monty Python is just plain excellence.
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