basically, i'm a little bored, so i've decided to make a small thread about "what is the worst pun you have ever experienced?" you know the kind, the ones so terrible or cheesy that you can't help but laugh at them...

my one would be in a school monthly meeting:

student: "i believe it would be good to increase the number of refrigirators in each house." (note: its a bording school)
head master in response: "i think that would be a very COOL idea!"

oh no... in front of the majority of the school as well...

SO! in a similar fashion, please go ahead and post your worst experience in the world of punning!

small note: i understand that there used to be a thread similar to this one. However, that thread is upon game-related puns, while this thread is for just puns in general. as far as i am aware no other thread has been made for puns-only.

EDIT: so far the best pun submitted in my opinion is:

masterblaze0:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

lets see if someone can top that!

What did the fish say when he ran into the concrete wall?

Damn.

My favorite joke.

Orange you glad I didn't say banana... You did say banana don't lie

whats green and smells like paint

green paint

Me: This vacuum cleaner works great!

Mom: Well, that sucks!

._.

What do you call a midget gansta? A g.

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

why should you never look up a number in a Chinese phone book?

cause there's so many Wings and Wongs you might wing the wong number

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

ROFL

I lol'd

What do you say when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
C Sharp or B Flat minor!

Why do ant-eaters never get sick?

Because they're full of anty bodies.

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar.

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

so far i have reason to believe this is the best pun yet. bravo! if only i was the best at circus skills just as you are the best pun here... (look to my profile, under interests you'll find why i mention circus skills)

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine :P (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

(said after any succession of positive victories)

"I'm like butter; I'm on a roll!"

I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I got attacked by a vampire.

Really? That bites.

Ago Iterum:

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine :P (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

I've heard that one a hundred times now thanks to Fallout 3

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

What's red and blue?
Purple

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"

It was something from Nintendo Power and it showed a picture of someone getting hit by a trash can. The quote next to the picture said "He has a CAN do attitude!"

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

I wanted to be a fisherman, but I never caught on.

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a Surgeon, but I just couldn't cut it.

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :P
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!

Wraithsight:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a Surgeon, but I just couldn't cut it.

I was going to be a juggler, but i couldn't find the balls.

do ornitologists like tits? i know they like boobies...

Phantom2595:

Ago Iterum:

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine :P (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

I've heard that one a hundred times now thanks to Fallout 3

Never played it. Damn...

Oh well. On another note, did you hear about the man who got his whole left half cut off?

He's all right now.

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :P
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!

You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

Trumped!

"Surely you must be joking?"

"I'm not joking, and don't call me surely."

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns dunno if anyone else reads his stuff, but i find it kinda funny

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. Not sure if this is a pun, yet its pretty bad that i had to laugh.

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :P
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!

You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

Trumped!

I admit defeat and applaud you :P

But mark my words, when we're having a Scrubs sing-off I will destroy you! :D

you are all going to the 7th level of pun-hell, known as Punny

I got some bad cheese once

"Ughh.. Old English.. More like Mold English!"
"Lachlan that is horible"
"What? Too Cheesy?"