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Worst puns ever!

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1)   4 Jan 2009 01:11

basically, i'm a little bored, so i've decided to make a small thread about "what is the worst pun you have ever experienced?" you know the kind, the ones so terrible or cheesy that you can't help but laugh at them...

my one would be in a school monthly meeting:

student: "i believe it would be good to increase the number of refrigirators in each house." (note: its a bording school)
head master in response: "i think that would be a very COOL idea!"

oh no... in front of the majority of the school as well...

SO! in a similar fashion, please go ahead and post your worst experience in the world of punning!

small note: i understand that there used to be a thread similar to this one. However, that thread is upon game-related puns, while this thread is for just puns in general. as far as i am aware no other thread has been made for puns-only.

EDIT: so far the best pun submitted in my opinion is:

masterblaze0:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

lets see if someone can top that!

2)   4 Jan 2009 01:17

What did the fish say when he ran into the concrete wall?

Damn.

My favorite joke.

3)   4 Jan 2009 01:19

Orange you glad I didn't say banana... You did say banana don't lie

4)   4 Jan 2009 01:21

whats green and smells like paint

green paint

5)   4 Jan 2009 01:22

Me: This vacuum cleaner works great!

Mom: Well, that sucks!

._.

6)   4 Jan 2009 01:22

What do you call a midget gansta? A g.

7)   4 Jan 2009 01:23

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

8)   4 Jan 2009 01:23

why should you never look up a number in a Chinese phone book?

cause there's so many Wings and Wongs you might wing the wong number

9)   4 Jan 2009 01:24

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

ROFL

I lol'd

10)   4 Jan 2009 01:24

What do you say when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
C Sharp or B Flat minor!

11)   4 Jan 2009 01:27

what is brown and sounds like a bell?

dung!!!

12)   4 Jan 2009 01:27

Why do ant-eaters never get sick?

Because they're full of anty bodies.

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar.

13)   4 Jan 2009 01:35

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

so far i have reason to believe this is the best pun yet. bravo! if only i was the best at circus skills just as you are the best pun here... (look to my profile, under interests you'll find why i mention circus skills)

14)   4 Jan 2009 01:37

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine :P (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

15)   4 Jan 2009 01:39

(said after any succession of positive victories)

"I'm like butter; I'm on a roll!"

16)   4 Jan 2009 01:39

I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

17)   4 Jan 2009 01:40

I got attacked by a vampire.

Really? That bites.

18)   4 Jan 2009 01:42

Ago Iterum:

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine :P (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

I've heard that one a hundred times now thanks to Fallout 3

19)   4 Jan 2009 01:43

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

20)   4 Jan 2009 01:44

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

21)   4 Jan 2009 01:45

What's red and blue?
Purple

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"

22)   4 Jan 2009 01:45

It was something from Nintendo Power and it showed a picture of someone getting hit by a trash can. The quote next to the picture said "He has a CAN do attitude!"

23)   4 Jan 2009 01:46

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

24)   4 Jan 2009 01:47

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

I wanted to be a fisherman, but I never caught on.

25)   4 Jan 2009 01:48

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a Surgeon, but I just couldn't cut it.

26)   4 Jan 2009 01:49

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :P
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!

27)   4 Jan 2009 01:49

Wraithsight:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a Surgeon, but I just couldn't cut it.

I was going to be a juggler, but i couldn't find the balls.

28)   4 Jan 2009 01:49

do ornitologists like tits? i know they like boobies...

29)   4 Jan 2009 01:50

Phantom2595:

Ago Iterum:

The_root_of_all_evil:
I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine :P (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

I've heard that one a hundred times now thanks to Fallout 3

Never played it. Damn...

Oh well. On another note, did you hear about the man who got his whole left half cut off?

He's all right now.

30)   4 Jan 2009 01:50

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :P
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!

You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

Trumped!

31)   4 Jan 2009 01:51

"Surely you must be joking?"

"I'm not joking, and don't call me surely."

32)   4 Jan 2009 01:52

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=puns dunno if anyone else reads his stuff, but i find it kinda funny

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. Not sure if this is a pun, yet its pretty bad that i had to laugh.

33)   4 Jan 2009 01:52

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:

Shivari:

Sennz0r:
I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

That's it, I can't remember any others from Scrubs :P
Go ahead if you got another and trump me in Scrubs knowledge, but do know that I hold the power of all the great songs from the "my musical" episode!

You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

Trumped!

I admit defeat and applaud you :P

But mark my words, when we're having a Scrubs sing-off I will destroy you! :D

34)   4 Jan 2009 01:53

you are all going to the 7th level of pun-hell, known as Punny

35)   4 Jan 2009 01:55

I got some bad cheese once

"Ughh.. Old English.. More like Mold English!"
"Lachlan that is horible"
"What? Too Cheesy?"

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