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Dolphins are evolving

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On the Record
Posts: 6390
Joined: 24 Apr 2008

TheNecroswanson:

berethond:
No, the point is that they just learned how to use tools. Monkeys already knew when we started observing them. Depending on your point of view, this could be concrete proof of evolution.

Well, I wouldn't exactly call learning evolution. Those two things are very far apart.

The ability to learn, however, is something not every creature starts with. They have gained it, changed over time. Know what the word for that is? Personally, this is fantastic news. If ever we needed an excuse to defend these creatures more, this is it.

On the Record
Posts: 5187
Joined: 10 Aug 2008

Dolphins also kill and do violent things for pleasure, just like us.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 756
Joined: 26 Jul 2008

berethond:
No, no, they'll be our allies in the fight against the robot-nazi-vampires who are zombies in 2012!

*snif* *sniff* Is that? Yes... yes it is! I smell sxephil on you! Dont worry I watch him too.

B*tches be CRAZY!

On the Record
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Joined: 8 Nov 2008

Vivaldi:

berethond:
No, no, they'll be our allies in the fight against the robot-nazi-vampires who are zombies in 2012!

*snif* *sniff* Is that? Yes... yes it is! I smell sxephil on you! Dont worry I watch him too.

B*tches be CRAZY!

I don't watch him that much. That was funny though.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 756
Joined: 26 Jul 2008

berethond:

Vivaldi:

berethond:
No, no, they'll be our allies in the fight against the robot-nazi-vampires who are zombies in 2012!

*snif* *sniff* Is that? Yes... yes it is! I smell sxephil on you! Dont worry I watch him too.

B*tches be CRAZY!

I don't watch him that much. That was funny though.

Yeah I am usually the same, some of his stuff is just not that funny, but he can be quite hilarious at times.

On the Record
Posts: 6436
Joined: 8 Nov 2008

Vivaldi:

berethond:

Vivaldi:

berethond:
No, no, they'll be our allies in the fight against the robot-nazi-vampires who are zombies in 2012!

*snif* *sniff* Is that? Yes... yes it is! I smell sxephil on you! Dont worry I watch him too.

B*tches be CRAZY!

I don't watch him that much. That was funny though.

Yeah I am usually the same, some of his stuff is just not that funny, but he can be quite hilarious at times.

Yeah. I think he's funnier when he's either high or just had sex. I haven't decided which it is yet, though.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 742
Joined: 2 Nov 2008

Mstrswrd:

jim_doki:
I read somewhere that Dolphins were the only other animals to engage in Gang Rape.

now do you see why I'm terrified at the prospect of them getting smarter?

Excuse me? That's... uh... something I've never heard before... um... source please?

PatientGrasshopper:

berethond:
No, no, they'll be our allies in the fight against the robot-nazi-vampires who are zombies in 2012!

Well they have always been good to humans, they have been known to help ward off sharks. There are pleanty of stories of them helping humans.

Yeah, they're just kind to us so that when we lower our guard, they can stab us in the back.

Sorry if I was rude (to both people I quoted).

Oh yea I just remembered an Episode of the Simpsons, one of the Tree House of Horrors, the Dolphins took over.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1258
Joined: 14 Aug 2008

This sounds like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa helps the dolphins, only for them to turn around and force everyone in the town into the lake.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2008
Joined: 22 Jun 2009

If we continously press B we can stop them from evolving.

Infamous Scribbler
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Joined: 20 Feb 2009

Untamed Waters:

Aardvark:

Untamed Waters:
Fail.

How's Genesis treating you, then?

You hardly asked a question. Elaborate.

Genesis is one of the books in the Bible. It contains the creation story. He's saying that you're a creationist.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2864
Joined: 10 Apr 2009

Oh no... soon dolphins will be smart enough to not get caught in Tuna nets... "Sup, Tunas? What are you all doing over here huddled up in this... Argh! A net, how... how do I get out of this thing?"

On the Record
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Drake the Dragonheart:
This sounds like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa helps the dolphins, only for them to turn around and force everyone in the town into the lake.

Awesome thread necroing!
*high five*

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1115
Joined: 29 Jan 2009

Dolphins with friggin lazors on their head?

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2297
Joined: 5 Nov 2008

Aardvark:
Everything is devolving,

Except for Creationists.

Fixed that for you.

jim_doki:
oh shit! We're doomed!

Humans and dolphins are not competing for territory and we have the common enemies of sharks and jellyfish. If they learn how to use weapons I am sure we will reach common terms.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 461
Joined: 10 Jun 2009

I, for one, welcome our dolphin overlords

BANNED
Posts: 2044
Joined: 7 Jun 2009

I wouldn't call this a tool they figured out how to work a sponge to there advantage, now if the fashioned a net out of the sponge then i would considered it a tool. This is very interesting but i wouldn't insult evolution by comparing this to it IMHO, of course i have a feeling i am about to be proven wrong.

User was banned for: US army psychiatrist kills 13 soldiers. (Permanent)
Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3057
Joined: 20 Apr 2009

Megawizard:
The world will turn into that Simpsons episode.

That's what I was gonna say.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 990
Joined: 12 Jun 2008

This is why I'm all for saving Dolphins, they are actually smart, not like whales, they are dumbasses. Yes I know that whales and dolphins are in the same family, but dolhpins are small enough where they can actually acomplish stuff, whales are just swiming piles of tastey, tastey blubber. mmm mmm mmm mmmmmm blubber

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1905
Joined: 9 Sep 2008

Sewblon:
Fixed that for you.

Congratulations, old bean. You have single-handedly debunked and disproven the theory of Evolution with one interweb forum post. I can already see the Zombie Darwin bursting from the ground and retracting Origin of the Species overthis. You've proven to us that Evolution couldn't possibly be real, we must have all been created in the image of God Almighty, while He was going Full Retard.

Press Junketeer
Posts: 440
Joined: 27 Jun 2009

Soon when the dolphin's knowledge allows them to become widespread I'll be legitimately able to say, "I'm riding on a dolphin! Doing flips 'n' shit!" All I need is a boat though...

Also I wonder what would happen if we give them suits that allow them to go on land.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 4331
Joined: 9 Jul 2008

Great, now they're going to hijack all the nuclear submarines and hold the world hostage and rule the world.

Unless we kill them all first...

BANNED
Posts: 2473
Joined: 26 Apr 2009

Dolphins are evolving into fish.

Now I won't have to feel guilty whenever I eat them.

User was banned for: Poll: The Internet Ruined Gaming!!!. (Permanent)
Press Junketeer
Posts: 371
Joined: 26 Oct 2008

Hummm a new kind of life form to splice ours gens with.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 2297
Joined: 5 Nov 2008

Aardvark:

Sewblon:
Fixed that for you.

Congratulations, old bean. You have single-handedly debunked and disproven the theory of Evolution with one interweb forum post. I can already see the Zombie Darwin bursting from the ground and retracting Origin of the Species overthis. You've proven to us that Evolution couldn't possibly be real, we must have all been created in the image of God Almighty, while He was going Full Retard.

Wow! I wasn't even trying to disprove evolution! I patently rule!

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 1644
Joined: 22 Jan 2009

Sharks are overrated, I want Dolphins with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads.

Pulitzer Laureate
Posts: 927
Joined: 16 Apr 2009

Run to the hills, run for your lives.

Muckraker
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Joined: 31 Dec 2008
On the Record
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Joined: 8 Nov 2008

minarri:
This is old news.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28315

Really?
If somebody had paid attention, they might have noticed that it was originally posted in January.

EDIT:
Okay.
that is old news.

PROBATION
Posts: 2492
Joined: 22 Feb 2009

Everything is evolving in slight changes, we are just to blind to notice, some evolution takes place in nano-seconds.

User was put on probation for: Hey, I'm new.. (3 days)
Muckraker
Posts: 257
Joined: 28 May 2008

Dolphins really aren't that intelligent. Their tool use is on par with a human infant. Their brain may be physically larger, but this is held back by numerous factors:

- The average dolphin is considerably larger than a human. Larger body size = more brain power dedicated to locomotion and less to other things.

- The dolphin's brain has thicker insulation, which is needed for ocean survival yet has no function for brain activity, when this is removed, the dolphin's brain is actually smaller than the human brain (when the insulation is removed from the human brain as well)

- The dolphin's brain has a smaller surface area than a human's, which is the primary function of intelligence. This is due to fewer "wrinkles" as well as the smaller volume.

The effect of having to dedicate more brain function to locomotion with a smaller brain makes the dolphin objectively less capable intellectually than humans. Yes, they're bright creatures, yet not some kind of super-animal. The human has the highest cognitive function of any animal species on the planet and even our least intelligent members are more capable than the upper echelon the dolphin intelligence.

That and tool use has been known for a very long time among the Australian bottlenose community, making me wonder why the article was written in 2009.

On the Record
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Joined: 24 Apr 2008

LaughingTarget:

That and tool use has been known for a very long time among the Australian bottlenose community

...And just when I was certain the box jellyfish were the scariest things in my god damn water. Great, now even if I flee from the funnelwebs in my boat, the dolphins will cut me down as I run. I don't know what to be afraid of, the ones with eight legs or the ones with none... or the ones with flippers...

The latter doesn't make your eyes bleed, but that's not to say they can't invent a way to do it.

Beat Writer
Posts: 175
Joined: 16 Apr 2009

I don't belive they're evolving. Adapting maybe. But if they did we should be friendly untill they attack us. Then, we crush them.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3617
Joined: 7 Aug 2008

I think we can all know agree, the crisis has been averted. And even if we can't just remember, we have thumbs and have equipment to go under water, they have fins and can't move on ground.

Paperboy
Posts: 38
Joined: 7 Jul 2009

When they invent language, learn it, and raise their culture drastically until they feel indebted to us. Then every nation on the planet will take bets as to who can make them their close allies first.

About a month after this, betting can begin on which Nation's dolphin allies will nuke the other nation's Dolphin Allies.

Soon there will be no more people wars. We will fight with dolphins.

Gone Gonzo
Posts: 3607
Joined: 3 Jun 2008

i know people who can do things with their noses that are better then that. but they aren't evolving or becoming smarter.

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