Say zombies came out and killed lots of people, Left 4 Dead style. What would you do if you were in a small room locked with a zombie that was coming after you (how it got there is none of your business), and you had:

A shotgun, with only one shell left (and you need at least three hits to kill the zombie, it's strong)
A frag grenade that would take you out as well (or at least some permanent damage to the body)
A thick 2m long rope
A wooden chair
A coffee maker (no electricity or beans)
A 1 liter bottle of napalm (but no matches)

What would you do in that situation? NOTE: Doesn't have to be killing the zombie, but what other things would you do instead as well?

I would shoot the zombie in the head with the shotgun, and beat it to death with it.

Assuming classical Zombies:
Run past the zombie. Use the shotgun to blow out the lock on the door then make a bee line for the nearest probable source of ammunition.
Taking the Napalm and rope with me as useful tools.

Assuming turbo Zombies:
Fight the zombie with the wooden chair and bash it's undead skull in. Then as per classical Zombie plan.

Hit the 'Search Forums' button?

Go to nozombies.com and read their forums.

throw the napom at the zombie and shoot him with the shotgun

I'm sorry, but holy crap. Does no one use the search function anymore?

This must be the 15th thread this week that discusses ZOMBIES. I guess Yahtzee was right; people really do need to shut the f- up about ninjas, pirates and zombies..

Steal the book on surviving zombie attacks. Then go to a not police station. And not get secluded, try and use a corded phone, try and start a car, take a bath/shower. All the things that are cliches that would get me killed.

considering that i was in this situation i would turn my torso 180 degrees bend down and kiss my ass goodbye because i would rather die a horrible death than ever have to admit that i got into this bad of a zombie related situation....i mean really...i must have stroked off to even get to the point where i don't have at least a nine millimeter pistol and at least 2 extra clips for it...

beat the zombie to death with the chair or the shotgun...if it's rotting, i could dismember it...

Kill it with my bare hands. Rawr... or shoot it in the leg to knock it down then curb-stop.

Please us the search button next time. There's been a million of these topics already.

Lock myself in a room with as much food and water as possible and weep softly until my involvement in the crisis was over one way or another.

I'd love to say I'd do some kind of cool commando shit, but i'd most likely crap my pants in fright, puke at the smell, then lose 1/1d6 sanity.

Eeh, you need thermite to ignite modern napalm, and where you even got it from considering the US doesn't even stock it any more is anyone's guess. Yeah, I think however that that's the least retarded aspect of this post. I mean, seriously, you actually thought this was worth asking? You've put so little effort into this, specified so little, told us nothing. What sort of zombie? why would it talk 3 shotgun rounds to the head to kill it? Especially if it's L4D style. You locked yourself in a room with a zombie? huh... You've got a coffee maker without any means to use it?! wtf dude... phul of fail.

Obviously the only thing to do is rig up the chair and rope into a dynamo using a cup full of no questions asked and sit the zombie down to a nice cup of napalm coffee, topped with gunpowder and shotgun pellets. Sorted.

Mariena:
I'm sorry, but holy crap. Does no one use the search function anymore?

This must be the 15th thread this week that discusses ZOMBIES. I guess Yahtzee was right; people really do need to shut the f- up about ninjas, pirates and zombies..

Yeah, but when was the last time we talked about Ninjas and Pirates?

i would roun out the door and use the chair to block it. then use the rope to help break-in to a armed forces bace and arm up with more guns and ammo. then launch a nuke at the zombies

I'd shoot myself. Seriously, who wants to live in a post-zombiepocalyptic world? Or I'd shoot the zed, then blow myself up.

Call me an ass but I have started reporting these now...

Why more zombies, I really don't get it.

suicide most likely

die?

Shot one of its knee caps out, then beat it from behind with the butt of the shotgun.

Or use the search button, out of the endless amount of zombie threads, someone must have had this scenario by now.

Lose.

Edit: ninja'd by japlandweirdling

I can't believe how many of these threads there are. A new one seems to pop up every week. Please learn to use the search button.

Oh for fuck sake...I would probably be glad that we would finally see an end to 'what would you do if zombies attacked' threads on t'internet.

EDIT: Although the conditions the OP imposes are a bit more original than the standard Z post I suppose.

if people would find something more interesting to thread about maybe these would go away? until then bitching about it accomplishes about as much as actually looking for zombies to kill.....that is to say...nothing.....seriously... i like periods also

I'd go online and post this forums 4000th zombie thread.....oh wait....you beat me to it.

Damn.

PS: Shotgun

rossatdi:
Hit the 'Search Forums' button?

You always beat me to it!

Situational Zombie threads, another thing to add to my list of things that should be banned from the internet.

Cahlee:

rossatdi:
Hit the 'Search Forums' button?

You always beat me to it!

Oh, I'm not the only person who enjoys erm, feels like they have to say this.

Excellent :D

I'd let him bite me. Then i'd be to stupid to read and wouldn't have to see how many of these threads there are.

Shoot myself out of boredom.

Erana:

Mariena:
I'm sorry, but holy crap. Does no one use the search function anymore?

This must be the 15th thread this week that discusses ZOMBIES. I guess Yahtzee was right; people really do need to shut the f- up about ninjas, pirates and zombies..

Yeah, but when was the last time we talked about Ninjas and Pirates?

Like two weeks ago.

okay, now explain to me, if you shot a human in the head, he would instantly die, but if you shot a rotting fleshbag in the head, you would need to shoot him 2 more times. this entire forum is cracked, and not to be a troll, but even if such an event were to happen, if you were to say, have a government, there would be enough control over the situation that there wouldnt be any problem. unless you live in a third world country ofcourse. i think people like you should be banned for being a complete d-bag. get off forums and go back to playing left for dead, zombies ate my neighbors, and whatever else made you think this was a good idea for a thread.

Break the chair legs, use them all as wooden spikes, and stab that zomb to death, then take them back (hey if it worked once...). keep the shotty and frag nade for a desperate situation, and the napalm in case I find fire. The other stuff I would only keep if it didn't become cumbersome.

I would then proceed to a Starbucks (shouldn't be too hard to find) and get me a better coffee maker... hehehe