It's impossible to be sexy when...

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stormeris:

Thyunda:

Catfood220:
Its impossible to appear to be the sexy sex God that you are when you are walking sexily down the street and catch your foot on a slightly raised paving slab, trip and stumble.

Unless you stop, drop and pose.

Or better yet!
FALL FLAT ON YOUR FACE

And don't get up.
Seriously don't, people might think your planking or something.

Is planking a sex thing where you come from...?

its impossible to be sexy if you have just been busted in the middle of sex by your girlfriends mother.. "hi mum.. by the way im gay"

Probably when I'm brushing my teeth. I don't know what I do differently to everyone else but it's always...messy (not like that!).

Calibanbutcher:
-Snip-

The sexy eroticism of the flailing then?

That's what you meant right? :D

All the girls in the club were Laughing at in awe of my Drunken Antics adorable voice, awesome dance skills, and rustic charm!

T0ad 0f Truth:

SkarKrow:

T0ad 0f Truth:

I have really shit posture sometimes, and when I play video games on my pc or am just reading a book anywhere that involves sitting, rather than laying, then I'm basically hunched over like a troll.

To be fair in those situations who cares if you look sexy, I mean you're busy doing other things!

OT: It's impossible to be sexy when you do anything the way @T0ad 0f Truth does it

It's impossible to be sexy when you have a mild chest infection and a runny nose as I have at the moment :(

Oi! I'm plenty sexy! Have you seen me dance?

It literally blinds people its so beautiful!

...It's the beauty... Just trust me...

I sent a minion to watch you dance and his lungs ruptured from laughing.

Poor minion B, he never stood a chance.

Thyunda:

stormeris:

Thyunda:

Unless you stop, drop and pose.

Or better yet!
FALL FLAT ON YOUR FACE

And don't get up.
Seriously don't, people might think your planking or something.

Is planking a sex thing where you come from...?

How the fuck should i know?
It's probably like dropping the soap in prison xD

It's impossible to be sexy while smiling, right after finishing a box of Oreos.

It's impossible to be sexy when you are smoking, cancer is not attractive ladies!

DVS BSTrD:
tho

It's impossible to be sexy, when you think "tho" is a word and forget "although" as a piece of everyday vernacular, to be worth using.

You speak like me. You talk like me. You socialise like me. You have the body language of a sickly, young chimp with a bone deficiency.

I'm an ugly little videogame child. I cover the mirrors. Paint the windows. I unscrew all of the lightbulbs. I wear a doctor's mask. People ask me, "are you sick?" and I just say, "no". It's for their convencience. I never leave my room. I never get any letters from my family.

I'll never be loved. Because I'm so ugly.

I believe it is impossible to look attractive or sexy, when you're reading a really good book and zoning out everything around you to the point where your sentences are gruff, one word, or simply grunts. You look like a NERD.

Never, when I'm around trousers fly off with enough force to decapitate anyone near by.
This creates...awkward moments.

Johnny Novgorod:
Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

Very much so. Absolutely impossible to do anything with socks that is sexy.

And I hate skinny jeans on a girl. All I can think of is how hard it'd be to take the damn thing off. I always feel really self-conscious, exposed and uncomfortable in them. Very much the opposite of sexy.

Its impossible (for me) to get out of my Jeans in a seductive manner. (I am male btw)
I tried all kinds of different movements, to get them down without my hands in an erotic way, but the only thing that falls down normally is my girlfriend from the bed, because of laughter.

Also, after sports, getting out of a skintight and sweatty shirt is....embarassing. Nobody can look sexy while jumping around with his shirt half over his head, trying to pull it up.

Also, its impossible when I doze of at a train or in a car. I dont know why, but I always make the funniest faces and drool all over the place.

Also pleeeeeease stop with the "be-like-me"-posts. It was (somewhat) funny the first time, but now its just....sad....

dylanmc12:
You speak like me. You talk like me. You socialise like me. You have the body language of a sickly, young chimp with a bone deficiency.

I'm an ugly little videogame child. I cover the mirrors. Paint the windows. I unscrew all of the lightbulbs. I wear a doctor's mask. People ask me, "are you sick?" and I just say, "no". It's for their convencience. I never leave my room. I never get any letters from my family.

I'll never be loved. Because I'm so ugly.

Dont be such a negative nelly. Theres no such thing as ugly just an aquired taste

It is utterly impossible to be sexy while aboard a bus. It's public transport without any trace of decency, where you are expected to fold up like a deck chair and sit completely still for six hours. It is very difficult to be sexy once you crawl out of the horrid thing, reacquaint yourself with your bones and stagger back home.

Johnny Novgorod:
Sex with your socks on isn't sexy, but taking your socks off before sex is even less sexy.

Agreed. The best way to limit the effect is getting the damned things off and out of the way first. It is the only way...

when your caught staring at her tits and then tilt your head to stare into the great distance with contempt for your trivial life..... While your working at fast food.

:o

make the ladies dry up it does.

It's impossible to look sexy when...
-eating corn on the cobb.
-you've just popped a zit.
-you've just farted.
-you've just sneezed.
-you're at a bris.
etc.

BishopofAges:
Theme song to this whole thread (and by extension Fappy/Daystar time):

OT: I feel its impossible to be sexy when you're reeeeally into the movie on television, I mean you can put forth the effort, but you look like a distracted circus seal.

I don't know. Usually when Daystar and I are in the same room this song starts playing:

If you were wondering, yes, we only ever have PG-13 sex. Daystar's a prude.

Colour Scientist:

For example, it's near-impossible to remain composed and sexy when taking off a pair of really tight skinny jeans. It just doesn't work, at least not for me anyway.

As a guy who wears borderline BeeGees style of pants I can so understand. Taking of those pants when there is a sexy lady waiting for it just always nags me but they are sooo comfy (like wearing no pants at all!)...

Fappy:
Daystar's a prude.

That makes sense.
I had a feeling that it was all an act. :D

As much as I hate to admit it. Back when I used to date I always took the girl out to sat at an Italian restaurant on our first date.

2 reasons.
1. Pasta is fucking delicious and I can't date a lass who feels otherwise.

2. If we can wach eachother eat pasta, quite possibly the unsexiest food to consume, and still be attracted to eachother then we're off to a good start.

It's impossible to be sexy while playing guitar for me. I play death metal and do vocals so unless you're into a 19 yo. guy growling into a mic while playing atonal music, I'm out of luck.
The worst part is that all the alt or short artsy girls in my town are all taken too!

Or when I come out of the shower. When I dry my hair (it's long for a guy), I get some crazy mad scientist stuff going. It sticks out on the sides, it's poking up, some of it's tangled, etc. Just about everything that can go wrong with hair goes wrong with mine every morning.

While looking angry. Oh. Shit. No, seriously--I look angry in almost all my photos, and it doesn't work. Thankfully, I pose next to Wiseau, and he makes me look slightly better by comparison. Slightly.

To answer your next question: yes, that is autographed, and yes, he is a cool dude.

Also: eating caviar. You know how when you're on your private jet flying to your private island, and your stewardess tries to take a picture of you with your $10,000 camera just after you've taken a bite of your caviar? WHAT'S UP WIT THAT?!

Being a naked, aroused man...and still wearing your socks, the socks just kills it, apparently. ;-)

EDIT: Darn, didn't notice others had already said it...good to know I'm not the only one though.

Definitely it's hard to be sexy, when you're next to someone who's sexier than you.

Like Jim Sterling...

From all evidence i would say it is impossible to be sexy while eating soup.

Setrus:
Being a naked, aroused man...and still wearing your socks, the socks just kills it, apparently. ;-)

EDIT: Darn, didn't notice others had already said it...good to know I'm not the only one though.

Depends where you put those socks.
IfyouknowwhatImean.
Hur
Hur
Hur

It's also really hard to be sexy when you are ramping a motorcycle over several flat-bed-trucks with a burning tiger on the passenger seat.

No, wait, it's not "hard" to be sexy, I was looking for the opposite...

I remember a comedian doing a bit about how there is no way to remove your own socks while being 'sexy'.

Girls?
Petting a cat
Seriously ladies, you will never look sexy while playing with a pussy
(I'm sure that one day I will be exiled from internet for my crappy sense of humor)

Guys?
Not exactly in position to be sure, but I think PC gaming
There is some sort of zoning out going on while gaming in general and coupled it with pose one have in front of PC, must be as unsexy as possible.

It is not humanly possible to be sexually attractive whilst working in a branch of RBS. It is a hopelessly cold and grey place.

It's REALLY impossible to be sexy when you are cracking the tendons of your body. Seriously, it's not attractive, especially when women do it with intent to draw attention to themselves.

When you have a cold/flu... kinda like right now. Dammit.

So ill... I'm an advert for Kleenex.

sageoftruth:
It's impossible to be sexy while smiling, right after finishing a box of Oreos.

Of course the ladies will just want to make out with you anyways because Oreos.

It's impossible to be sexy while turning into a rocket and flying into space. Unless she or he is INTO that kind of thing.

Colour Scientist:

DVS BSTrD:
But that would be sexy, and she's not sexy.

Mean.
I'm sexy.
I can be sexy.
I'm sure I've been sexy at least once in my life.
Maybe by accident.

remember that one time when you were trying to open up that packet of mustard and it exploded, got in your eyes causing you to start flailing around and pull that one tourists pants down inadvertently opening up his fanny pack causing spaghetti to pour out everywhere while he starts crying uncontrollably?

someone, somewhere, for some reason or another, found that sexy.

chances are it was the clown in the back of the pub.

OT: it is really, really difficult to be sexy while running a one-shot D&D group filled with people that attack gongs and gazebos.

or, honestly, anything involving a D20.

nothing ever good comes from that.

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