How To Screw With My Co-Workers

OK so I just found out I was fired at work and seriously it wasn't really my fault. I'm not really gonna whine about it. Not really my style. Thing is when they fired me I walked around with a smile on my face all day. Yeah this company sucks, i work in telephone surveys, ans i swear most of these surveys were specifically designed to fuck with people. Either the interviewer or just find a way to confuse, piss off and/or alienate as many people as possible. This inst right. Shortly thereafter it dawned on me that I have a week until my last day.

I'll tell you how the job works out. I log into a meeting, I get my briefings, and I start making calls. From there if someone hangs up on me, swears at me or gives me a lame excuse I'm supposed to write down what happened and how they refused, and perhaps the next day or two the company calls them back anyway, only the interviewer who handles it next sees whatever messages I just typed.

So the question i bring to you is how do I fuck with'm?

(yes I know I'm an asshole)

You don't. Just because you got fired doesn't mean you should take it out on your coworkers.

Buy a few of those buzzers, ill hunt down a link if your not sure what i mean.

Leave with your dignity intact...?

Happieness is the sweetest of all revenge.

Oh, and if you're really mad, do the manly thing and GROW A MUSTACHE! Seriously. Revenge facial hair would kick ass.
"You may have fired me, but I have a Mustache."

Of course, I could never do it.

Vengeance is in the air. MU HU HA HA!!!
You should mess with their heads by doing subtle things and going less and less subtle until they are in the fetal position hiding in a corner.

This is an un-needed and mean thread.

Take a leaf from Revolver Ocelot's book. Don't do anything for revenge. Just make them worry about when/if you're going to strike. On a serious note, man up and look for a job. I highly doubt Bob Jones in the cubicle across from you finangled your firing, so why take it out on him?

Toban Frost:
OK so I just found out I was fired at work and seriously it wasn't really my fault. I'm not really gonna whine about it. Not really my style. Thing is when they fired me I walked around with a smile on my face all day. Yeah this company sucks, i work in telephone surveys, ans i swear most of these surveys were specifically designed to fuck with people. Either the interviewer or just find a way to confuse, piss off and/or alienate as many people as possible. This inst right. Shortly thereafter it dawned on me that I have a week until my last day.

I'll tell you how the job works out. I log into a meeting, I get my briefings, and I start making calls. From there if someone hangs up on me, swears at me or gives me a lame excuse I'm supposed to write down what happened and how they refused, and perhaps the next day or two the company calls them back anyway, only the interviewer who handles it next sees whatever messages I just typed.

So the question i bring to you is how do I fuck with'm?

(yes I know I'm an asshole)

Maybe you shouldn't fuck with your co-workers... Fuck with your boss instead, he fired you.

Were you actually fired or made redundant?

The one thing you don't want to do is piss off a potential reference for future job prospects. If you can help it, be the bigger man and let it be.

If not, fling poo at him.

The best vengeance is to do nothing, find another job and not get screwed by a bad reference from the old boss, and earn more than at the old position. If you go ahead and do something stupid you're just proving your old boss right.

That's my advice, because it's just not worth the effort to screw over others at your old job.

-- Steve

You act like an adult and leave on good terms.

i dont endorse this, but this is what my dad did once:
find someone who sits underneath a fan, and every week or so just put a bolt on their desk.

xitel:
You don't. Just because you got fired doesn't mean you should take it out on your coworkers.

No i'm not gonna do anything out and out mean to my co-workers. I like them. I just want something to trip them up, maybe make them laugh during an intro, or pause and wonder what the heck is going on.

Avida:
Buy a few of those buzzers, ill hunt down a link if your not sure what i mean.

I really DON'T know what you mean.

EmileeElectro:
Leave with your dignity intact...?

Sorry just about everybody in this company will agree; there is not dignity working there.

Erana:
Happieness is the sweetest of all revenge.

Oh, and if you're really mad, do the manly thing and GROW A MUSTACHE! Seriously. Revenge facial hair would kick ass.
"You may have fired me, but I have a Mustache."

Of course, I could never do it.

I already have a mustache. And a goatee. It's very manly. Bordering on kingly.

anmolngm:
Vengeance is in the air. MU HU HA HA!!!
You should mess with their heads by doing subtle things and going less and less subtle until they are in the fetal position hiding in a corner.

First off, you're too vague, second of all, i don't wanna cause actual brain damage. Seek Help.

thebobmaster:
Take a leaf from Revolver Ocelot's book. Don't do anything for revenge. Just make them worry about when/if you're going to strike. On a serious note, man up and look for a job. I highly doubt Bob Jones in the cubicle across from you finangled your firing, so why take it out on him?

Actually I am looking for a job. I think i got a couple of opportunities lined up. Don't worry. I just wanna have fun, not kill anybody. I'm looking for laughs here.

Xvito:
Maybe you shouldn't fuck with your co-workers... Fuck with your boss instead, he fired you.

Well seeing as I was fired unjustly, I already did. She got a final warning about her behavior on Saturday.

Susan Arendt:
You act like an adult and leave on good terms.

This, trust me any job you have in real life WILL bite you in the ass when you go apply to other jobs. Employers Hr departments go so far into background checks my job at AT&T actually dug up information about all the 2 suspensions I had in middle school and the 2 suspensions I had in high school. They also knew about the time I signed someone into the hospital while I was in college.

Scary stuff those background checks and what people can dig up.

The title confused me. I thought this thread would be different. I guess I just got the other meaning for 'screw'

Avida:
Buy a few of those buzzers, ill hunt down a link if your not sure what i mean.

You mean the annoyotrons on Think Geek?

jim_doki:
i dont endorse this, but this is what my dad did once:
find someone who sits underneath a fan, and every week or so just put a bolt on their desk.

That is by far the best idea I have ever heard. I so want to try that out.

Toban Frost:
I really DON'T know what you mean.

What Xitel said :)

xitel:

Avida:
Buy a few of those buzzers, ill hunt down a link if your not sure what i mean.

You mean the annoyotrons on Think Geek?

Yay, someone knew what i meant ^_^. Btw im not heartless enough to suggest hiding them for long, no need to actually drive anyone insane.

Just write "EAT PUSSY" on the staff-toilet wall like the rest of us did.

Just put reacts violently to use of the word "and" and "the" then see how people manoeuvre around those two.

xitel:
You don't. Just because you got fired doesn't mean you should take it out on your coworkers.

But they conduct telephone surveys, it's torture except it only occurs when you want to eat.

Toban Frost:
OK so I just found out I was fired at work and seriously it wasn't really my fault. I'm not really gonna whine about it. Not really my style. Thing is when they fired me I walked around with a smile on my face all day. Yeah this company sucks, i work in telephone surveys, ans i swear most of these surveys were specifically designed to fuck with people. Either the interviewer or just find a way to confuse, piss off and/or alienate as many people as possible. This inst right. Shortly thereafter it dawned on me that I have a week until my last day.

I'll tell you how the job works out. I log into a meeting, I get my briefings, and I start making calls. From there if someone hangs up on me, swears at me or gives me a lame excuse I'm supposed to write down what happened and how they refused, and perhaps the next day or two the company calls them back anyway, only the interviewer who handles it next sees whatever messages I just typed.

So the question i bring to you is how do I fuck with'm?

(yes I know I'm an asshole)

put their stuff in jello,
like Jim did to Dwight on The Office

Toban Frost:
OK so I just found out I was fired at work and seriously it wasn't really my fault. I'm not really gonna whine about it. Not really my style. Thing is when they fired me I walked around with a smile on my face all day. Yeah this company sucks, i work in telephone surveys, ans i swear most of these surveys were specifically designed to fuck with people. Either the interviewer or just find a way to confuse, piss off and/or alienate as many people as possible. This inst right. Shortly thereafter it dawned on me that I have a week until my last day.

I'll tell you how the job works out. I log into a meeting, I get my briefings, and I start making calls. From there if someone hangs up on me, swears at me or gives me a lame excuse I'm supposed to write down what happened and how they refused, and perhaps the next day or two the company calls them back anyway, only the interviewer who handles it next sees whatever messages I just typed.

So the question i bring to you is how do I fuck with'm?

(yes I know I'm an asshole)

1.) Try to find out who they are calling.
2.) Call one of those people ahead of time (as long as it's someone you know)
3.) Pull this one on them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

Place some kind of explosive in their toilets Keith Moon style.

Ace of Spades:

jim_doki:
i dont endorse this, but this is what my dad did once:
find someone who sits underneath a fan, and every week or so just put a bolt on their desk.

That is by far the best idea I have ever heard. I so want to try that out.

I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

The old assistant manager of an EB Games I used to work at, on his last shift, while closing, but slices of salami in a vast amount of empty boxes. I thought it was kind of stupid, he thought it was hilarious.

Take Every staple in the office, but leave the staplers.

develop a good evil and/or maniacal laugh. whether it be the classic deep, the igor, a good cackle, it doesnt matter. but use it. a LOT.

try to destroy the world, and remember, play to your strengths. someone with a backround in biology shouldnt try to crash the planet into the sun. likewise a computer programmer shouldnt try to breed giant mutant half tuna half elm trees that feast on the blood of the innocent.

You could send your boss horse shit on a silver platter, there is a company that does this, it's name escapes me right now but they fedex it, the best part is, IT IS TOTALY LEGAL.

Mezzlegasm:

Ace of Spades:

jim_doki:
i dont endorse this, but this is what my dad did once:
find someone who sits underneath a fan, and every week or so just put a bolt on their desk.

That is by far the best idea I have ever heard. I so want to try that out.

I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

the idea is that they are sitting under something that is bolted to the celing and they keep finding loose bolts on their desk

 

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