A Genie comes to you and gives you three wishes. What do you wish for?

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Title says it all. You get a Genie, and three wishes. What do you wish for? And just so we have SOME rules here, let's stick with Disney Aladdin Genies laws. No killing, no making people fall in love, no bringing people back from the dead, and no wishing for more wishes.

Wish for more Genies, as is clearly demonstrated to be allowed by Aladdin rules.

I'd wish for a Deathnote. You see, I'm not wishing for people to die, I'm wishing for a magic book that causes people to die. Big difference.

The other two? I dunno. Probably wish for a sandwich. Then, if the genie wanted it, I'd wish for their freedom.

I wish that I could wish for more wishes

and then I would wish for more wishes

Is World Peace an option?

Fuck it, I will stick to selfish desires, cause thats what people want to hear, isnt it?

Immortality (Duh)

Perfect appearance to my preference (Want to look good for the being immortal and what not)

No longer having anxiety disorders. Sure, maybe being immortal and beautiful will make that wish a waste, but better play it safe, right?

Weeeelll...

1. The ability to transform myself and possibly others in any way I wish. (Don't ask.)

2. For certain shows (...okay, cartoons) to return to TV and get continuations (ex: Symbonic Titan, Motorcity, Megas XLR, Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, The Spectacular Spider-man, the Thundercats reboot...) Oh, and get Cartoon Network to stop shoving Teen Titans Go down our throats. (I can have a multi-part wish, right?)

3. For certain... groups to be easily found and rounded up. (Hey, if I'm not allowed to kill 'em, I can at least do the next best thing!)

madwarper:
I'd wish for a Death Note. You see, I'm not wishing for people to die, I'm wishing for a magic book that causes people to die. Big difference.

Notebooks don't kill people, people kill people.

I wish for a long but finite life of perfect health.
I wish for a life-time supply of all story-arts (books, movies, games) I would ever buy and keep.
I wish for a residence for myself and my things within a pocket dimension where I don't age and all electronics work perfectly no matter what.

My first wish would be to lose my second wish.

And my third wish is for nobody else to get any wishes from genies ever.

What would it take for me to become a professional off-road racing champion? That would take up more than three wishes, wouldn't it? Damn.

And everything I'd need to know to be a video game developer would likewise be too much...

I guess I'd just cut them loose, since there's not really anything I'd want that would fit within the scope of three wishes.

1. A time machine, so I can change things as many times as I want.

2. The ability to get in shape by being lazy and eating whatever I want.

3. A successful career just in case, maybe the time machine won't work properly.

Obviously, wealth, eternal youth and good health.

Saelune:
Is World Peace an option?

Fuck it, I will stick to selfish desires, cause thats what people want to hear, isnt it?

Immortality (Duh)

Perfect appearance to my preference (Want to look good for the being immortal and what not)

No longer having anxiety disorders. Sure, maybe being immortal and beautiful will make that wish a waste, but better play it safe, right?

Immortality is a classic mistake. In the short term you get to watch everyone you will ever care about grow old and die until you become completely emotionally numb. In the medium term humanity either dies out or evolves to a point where they will have less in common with you biologically and mentally than we today would have in common with an immortal Homo habilis. In the long term you will drift in total darkness, frozen but unable to die, for eons as the universe slowly decays towards it's eventual heat death, because our universe, unlike you, is mortal. If you're lucky time might stop eventually.

Silent Protagonist:

Saelune:
Is World Peace an option?

Fuck it, I will stick to selfish desires, cause thats what people want to hear, isnt it?

Immortality (Duh)

Perfect appearance to my preference (Want to look good for the being immortal and what not)

No longer having anxiety disorders. Sure, maybe being immortal and beautiful will make that wish a waste, but better play it safe, right?

Immortality is a classic mistake. In the short term you get to watch everyone you will ever care about grow old and die until you become completely emotionally numb. In the medium term humanity either dies out or evolves to a point where they will have less in common with you biologically and mentally than we today would have in common with an immortal Homo habilis. In the long term you will drift in total darkness, frozen but unable to die, for eons as the universe slowly decays towards it's eventual heat death, as our universe, unlike you, is mortal. If you're lucky time might stop eventually.

People one cares about dying? Not a problem in the long run since one would just meet new people instead. Being immortal also don't make one incapable of making use of future technology so thats not a problem either. Evolution isn't an issue either since we'll take control of that(and already have to some degrees) unless humans keep nuking one another into the stone age so that uncontrolled evolution can still mean anything for humans. Having much in common isn't really an issue either since humanity is gonna splinter in the future anyway as people go their own ways as cultures or individuals. For the last thing.... just word your wish properly so you can kill yourself if you need to. Anything else can be accounted for in the other wishes. So not really a problem in the slightest nor a mistake.

Unless your wording is absolutely atrocious and you aren't clever with it like putting clauses into the wish that'll massively screw over the genie if they try to pull anything or something goes wrong.

Knowing my luck, I would probably stumble upon one of those Literal Genies, so I would just free the Genie with my wish like Muder did in that one episode.

{1} To be transformed into the dark persona that lives within me, a creature whose terrifying visage puts Deathclaws to shame, with dreaded and destructive power on tap. Time to wake up now, foolish humans...

{2} To have access to a technological advancement called a metacell. It is a self-replicating cell-machine that is more advancedd and adaptive than nanites. Indeed, nanotechnology makes up part of it for the benefit of the whole. The applications of such a technology are endless, and I will drag you kicking and screaming into the next century.

{3} Oh, the genie's freedom, no question. The universe should definitely be a more interesting place to be in. It desperately needs a bit of diversion.

1) To give me wisdom in its gentlest form (any academagia fans here i wonder?).

2) My own custom designed space ship, genelocked to be used by me only (or one of my descendants).

3) The knowledge of how to stop cell degradation and even how to rejuvenate them, along with knowledge of how to reverse the process.

The first gives me the understanding to become a much better person along with a general boost in IQ, the second is pure wish fulfillment and gives me the keys to explore the cosmos at my pleasure, and the 3rd is classic immortality except i can choose to share it with others or disable it at anytime.

Wish I had no need for wishes in my life.

Halyah:

Silent Protagonist:

Saelune:
Immortality (Duh)

Immortality is a classic mistake. In the short term you get to watch everyone you will ever care about grow old and die until you become completely emotionally numb. In the medium term humanity either dies out or evolves to a point where they will have less in common with you biologically and mentally than we today would have in common with an immortal Homo habilis. In the long term you will drift in total darkness, frozen but unable to die, for eons as the universe slowly decays towards it's eventual heat death, as our universe, unlike you, is mortal. If you're lucky time might stop eventually.

People one cares about dying? Not a problem in the long run since one would just meet new people instead. Being immortal also don't make one incapable of making use of future technology so thats not a problem either. Evolution isn't an issue either since we'll take control of that(and already have to some degrees) unless humans keep nuking one another into the stone age so that uncontrolled evolution can still mean anything for humans. Having much in common isn't really an issue either since humanity is gonna splinter in the future anyway as people go their own ways as cultures or individuals. For the last thing.... just word your wish properly so you can kill yourself if you need to. Anything else can be accounted for in the other wishes. So not really a problem in the slightest nor a mistake.

Unless your wording is absolutely atrocious and you aren't clever with it like putting clauses into the wish that'll massively screw over the genie if they try to pull anything or something goes wrong.

Given the original wording was "Immortality(Duh)" I thought Saelune might not have realized the grim consequences of not including mortality clauses in any sort of wish for immortality.

Of course I also glossed over the desperate need to keep your immortality a secret(which will eventually become all but impossible to do), lest you end up strapped into "the Lobotomizer"

Silent Protagonist:
Given the original wording was "Immortality(Duh)" I thought Saelune might not have realized the grim consequences of not including mortality clauses in any sort of wish for immortality.

Of course I also glossed over the desperate need to keep your immortality a secret(which will eventually become all but impossible to do), lest you end up strapped into "the Lobotomizer"

Fair enough. I've pondered on this stuff before so I've had time to think on it.

Being immortal isn't needed to be secret really given the many interesting things we're getting close to. At one point it won't even be noticed by anyone since it'll just blend in with the rest. Although until then there might be issues, but it does depend on what one would use the other wishes for.

Second wish should probably be the power of shapeshifting. Would solve a lot of issues with identity and hiding. x)

Edit: I realized some people might not enjoy me picking apart wishes(which I see as 90% of the fun in these kinds of discussions) so I'm going to try to stop doing that for now

Well. First I'm going weigh every last word I say. So nothing can be accidentally misinterpretation as a wish ironically.

Wish 1

Then I'm going to ask a number of questions about the nature of being genie, his limits to his ability, his chance of ironically screwing me over, how truthful he will be ectera.

If necessarily I will burn a wish on getting him to answer ever last question truthfully, constructively and not screw me over ironically (seriously this is my biggest fear).

Wish 2

With that in mind I'm going to wish for some sort of perfectly phrased reality-manipulating practically a god superpower if possible, which will fulfil all my needs and desires.

Wish 3

Lastly I'm going to find out what happens if you actually free a genie. Some stories you have to actually wish them back into the bottle with your last wish to stop them going on a rampage. If that's the case I use my last wish to seal them back up. If they are benign and will just disappearance off into some sort of fifth dimension I wish him free so no one can use him against me.

Aside from the near obligatory "more genies" or "I wish I could wish for more wishes" wishes, my first wish would be for the following songs to be erased from all living history across all possible dimensions and timelines- 'Achy Breaky Heart', 'My Heart Will Go On' and 'Barbie Girl'.
My second wish would be that 'Eternal Darkness' got a good sequel.
My third and final wish would be for a 1970 Chevy Chevelle SS that never ran out of gas, needed maintenance, crashed and always met the most current emissions standards.

Is this one of those good genies or one of the monkeypaw-esque asshole ones?

Silent Protagonist:
Edit: I realized some people might not enjoy me picking apart wishes(which I see as 90% of the fun in these kinds of discussions) so I'm going to try to stop doing that for now

For what it's worth i didn't mind at all xD

If anything it's best i figure out the wording of my wishes now so if the time ever comes when i do get in this situation, i don't screw myself over.

Wishing for wisdom in its gentlest form for example is one way of wording a wish to be super smart without having your brain exploding due to suddenly being filled with too much information, or info that is simply not meant for a mortal mind.

So for the custom designed spaceship i figured my first wish would help with that, but maybe not :S Would have to think about the wording more or sod it, directly wish for a prebuilt ship that is totally compatible with us humans as we are know and which operates fine within our laws of physics.

1. Youthful immortality

2. The ability to, at any time or place, traverse to another universe and place in it that I desire

3. FULL control over my own mind at all times

That should literally in a little roundabout way make me a demigod of sorts.

thejboy88:
Title says it all. You get a Genie, and three wishes. What do you wish for? And just so we have SOME rules here, let's stick with Disney Aladdin Genies laws. No killing, no making people fall in love, no bringing people back from the dead, and no wishing for more wishes.

Let's see...

I wish that each wish be considered separately.

I wish that wishes were calculated in absolute value.

I wish for 1 million fewer wishes.

Now for the fun stuff!

A) the ability to stop and resume time at will.
B) the ability to read specific peoples thoughts at will.
C) Charisma. I got none of that and boy do i need it.

I would wish for a power to transmit my memories to my past self, kind of like in Edge of Tomorrow but without any limitations.
I would be able to live my life in any way I want and if it doesn't work out, I could just go back to the past and repeat it without making the previous mistakes.
I could also go back to the time when I met the genie and ask for something else, experiment with the other 2 wishes as many times as I want.

I would wish for the destruction of human greed: the most destructive and detrimental flaw of humanity

I would wish to live a full and successful happy life here: then upon dieing being reborn into a universe of my creation

Then I would wish for the genie's freedom.

First wish, the religion of Islam never existed.

Second wish, the theory of communism/socialism never existed.

Third wish, a Coke.

You're welcome, hundreds of millions of people who are now alive because they weren't killed by those awful things.

a) Remove my Diabetes; make it so that I never ever had it.

b) Legally guarantee me the Presidency in 2032 and 2036.

I'll hold onto c) for a while, just in case something really nasty happens to me at some point.

I'd wish for a universe (my universe) where genies don't grant wishes because no one is going to use that power responsibly.

Plus I don't like the idea of meddlesome gods. Nip that problem in the bud right then and there.

The ability to crush cars into cubes with my mind. Occupants optional.

My mom to not have cancer anymore.

Better motivation.

Go free, sweet genie.

If it's not the freeing sort of genie, then I'd ask it to get rid of all my junk I'm trying to sell or dispose of. Such a hassle.

yeah no.. not after last time

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