A Genie comes to you and gives you three wishes. What do you wish for?

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Enough money that I would never have to worry about money ever again. I'm talking like Bill Gates level of wealth here. Because by having that much, I could fulfill a lot of my other wishes, such as my own house, buying homes for my friends, helping rescue shelters, paying off hospital bills for struggling families, making sure schools had a decent budget to work with...so many things I would do if I have insane amounts of money.

Anyway, the next one would be the ability to use The Force. Why The Force? Because it grants you pretty much every other power. You can even fly with it, or at least levitate yourself, so yeah. Sign me up for Force powers, thank you.

Finally, probably the ability to heal anything. I don't mean for myself (although I would throw that in), but for other people. Lost your arm or leg in an explosion? I can restore it. Terminal disease? Gone. Metal disorder? Healed.
I would, of course, charge for this service not because I need the money, but because I would have the money used to help others. And it would greatly depend on the type of person asking to be healed. A little boy, with his parents at their wits end trying to cover his cancer treatment? Ten bucks. A millionaire who has spent his entire life stepping on other people and just being jerk? I'll take 80% of your entire value, thank you. Am I now playing God? You bet, but it's my wish, and since I already have enough money that I don't need to worry about it, I won't have to worry about getting greedy and will stick to using that money to help others.

Well...

Number 1: Unquestionably, the ability to transform myself or anyone else in any way I want, as many times as I want. I could make tons of money with surgery-free cosmetic alteration and indulging people's weird fetishes (including my own, not judging) and could effectively grant immortality and freedom from disease to myself or anyone I wished.

Number 2: For there to be multiple parallel universes that would never suffer heat death or any other permanent destruction, and reincarnation between them; in the event *I* got killed, my reincarnation would gain access to and knowledge of my powers upon reaching age 21.

Uhh...well, that takes care of almost anything I could ever want...umm...oh! I know!

Number 3: A working TARDIS that would never break down or otherwise require maintenance, and that I could summon to any location at any time.

[1] Starting with this wish, all wishes granted to me are as I intend, no matter how poorly or incompletely I communicate the wish. (Looking at you Jafar.)

[2] The power to endlessly at will summon/dismiss a truly perfect copy of anything/one from any form of media either real or fictional. Said copy possess all the knowledge, memories, skills and powers attributed to the original up to the point in which I summoned. (Want to met someone famous; done. Need some cash; watch a movie/show with a bank robbery. Want a light-saber; what color? Think you're getting too old; here's some water from the Fountain of Youth.)

[3] The instant before my death, my conscious is sent back 24 hours to merge with my "younger" self unless I utter the entirety of the Fuzzy Wuzzy rhyme within a minute of death.

I only know that my first wish would be to have knowledge of the most advantageous way to use my other two wishes.

vashthblackseed:

[2] The power to endlessly at will summon/dismiss a truly perfect copy of anything/one from any form of media either real or fictional. Said copy possess all the knowledge, memories, skills and powers attributed to the original up to the point in which I summoned. (Want to met someone famous; done. Need some cash; watch a movie/show with a bank robbery. Want a light-saber; what color? Think you're getting too old; here's some water from the Fountain of Youth.)

So, essentially, you want the Golden Ticket from Last Action Hero, only entirely under the control of your will. That's a good wish, and one I'd considered before. :)

Omnipotence, a sandwich and then the genie could go on their merry way.

1. The ability to transform into any real or fictional creature that has ever been imagined. (While keeping my consciousness and sense of self of course. Oh and I would have all the abilities of that creature while I was transformed)
2. The ability to travel to any fictionalized world at will (And it to be the fully realized vision not the version that might have been shown on screen. Let's say I travel to Morrowind. It would look like what Morroiwnd was fully intended to look like not through the guise of 2002 era graphics. Oh and I would be able to dictate which era of that fictionalized world I can travel to. For example if I want to travel to world of Harry Potter I can do it before Harry Potter entered Hogwarts or if I wanted to travel to Middle Earth slightly before the whole business with the Fellowship happened I should be able to.)
3. Limited immortality I couldn't die of old age but I could be killed though I would have limited regenerative powers

The Genie from Aladdin could summon magical power greater than he had himself. Funny enough in the real world wishing to be the greatest sorcerer would get you nothing, since sorcerers aren't real. Anyway, from that genie you only need one wish: the powers of a genie without the responsibilities of a genie. Woop-de-doop.

Everytime I entertain the thought I quickly end up setting myself limitations. Like what if the genie cannot leave any magic behind with the wishes? In that case:
1) transport my mind a bit into the past so I can win Eurojackpot
2) an idealized body with no health problems
3) steal underpants

Alright, but what if time travel is also impossible? How do I get filthy rich then?
1) wish for the ledgers of all cryptocurrency wallets people have LOST over the years
2) wish for [insert big amount] of cash that's been lost but in mint condition
3) an idealized body with no health problems

1. Give me the "Dragon Ball Z" superpower skillset, ie flight, ki control and ridiculous fitness. What better motivation to keep myself in shape, if I had abilities like that riding on the line.

2. Also, give me Killgrave's superpower. No, I would do what he did with it. I'm a reporter and it would make my job way easier if people couldn't bullshit me.

3. Let's be a bit less selfish here: I'd wish for the global development of perfect faster-than-light space travel. Get us out into the stars like we should've been trying to do.

I'd wish for the power to be able to instantly perceive the short and long term outcomes of any possible decisions I make, and then make whatever the two most optimal other wishes are. Then go win the lottery, because I know which set of numbers yields the outcome in which I win. Proceed to live optimally according to my preferences.

If I had three wishes, I would wish that:
-Hitler lost the war
-We made it to space
-The alien invasion never happened

1: Immortality. If possible, I will try to have it so I can't feel pain but still have full control of my other feelings and emotions. Also the ability to shift how young or old I look at will would be helpful.

2: World peace. Might as well throw at least one selfless wish in there.

3: If the genie can be freed and isn't an asshole who will go on a rampage, then I'll use my last wish to free him. If not then I'll probably use my last wish for some sort of kickass superpowers. I'm thinking the ability to control light and darkness, that could have some cool applications.

1. Never have to worry about money ever again.
2. Perfect memory recall
3. End corporate greed.

1.. Youthful immortality with perfect physical and mental health and the abilities to talk in any language, reincarnate (be reborn with same abilities with minimal talents needed for survival and no memories of my previous life until age 25, at which point I will regain my knowledge, though it will feel like I read it in a book rather than being there) and end it if I see fit, if I wish to kill myself I'll be able to do it, but not anyone else, not even someone else with a genie.

2. My own Star Trek-esque spaceship with matter replicators that do my bidding and advanced technology (particularly terraforming and colonising other worlds) along with instructions on how to use and make it, to be distributed and used as I and only I see fit. The golden age of technology shall not be abused by some retard of any religion, because ALL religions are equally retarded because they were all made by humans as an extension of humanity's ego.

3. The ability to create a new universe with at least one Earth-like planet and humanity, so outlasting the universe is no problem.

undeadsuitor:
I wish that I could wish for more wishes

and then I would wish for more wishes

enjoy your time loop hahaha

1. Give me Omnipotence without Omniscience (basically all of the power without the need to know everything past, present, and future (cause that's boring)).

Now that I can do everything/anything I want I'll ask the genie what he wants to use the last two.

I wish people would stop shifting all responsibility for their actions onto me.

Your Creator:
I wish people would stop shifting all responsibility for their actions onto me.

That wouldn't have been necessary if you'd done a better job! You probably shouldn't have rushed everything in just seven days.

stroopwafel:

That wouldn't have been necessary if you'd done a better job! You probably shouldn't have rushed everything in just seven days.

Dont believe everything you read in the scripts. They're ancient holy tabloids with narratives to push.

Your Creator:

stroopwafel:

That wouldn't have been necessary if you'd done a better job! You probably shouldn't have rushed everything in just seven days.

Dont believe everything you read in the scripts. They're ancient holy tabloids with narratives to push.

That explains the plotholes. JHWH is a total retcon.

Shapeshifting lol

Longevity for my entire bloodline/ family

And i either hold onto the last wish or ask for a more motivational outlook on life

1. Curing my Crohn's disease. It's not fatal as long as I keep it medicated, but it is unpleasant and I'd rather not be dealing with it.
2. Wealth. Not for any lifestyle changes or anything, just to make sure I have security. And so I can afford to buy gifts for people around the holidays without needing to make a spreadsheet to determine how I'm going to pay for them.
3. Elizabeth Warren & Rosa DeLauro winning the next US Presidential election. I've often said that in a perfect world, that would be my ideal Democratic ticket and it would be nice to see it happen.

Since I am a student of the classics, whatever my first two wishes are, my third wish is for the genie to get back into the darned lamp. Suleiman's bindings on the Jinn set them free after they grant those three wishes.

My first two would be those already noted by SpringHeelJack.

1) To gain simultaneously the powers, skills and abilities of any given five fictional characters at any one time with all the necessary prerequisites to use them to their full potential. This should be more than sufficient for me to fix any problems with anyone or anything I feel like. Want to cure cancer? Use Reed Richard's intelligence. Want to reform the government to be benevolent? Not difficult with the charisma of Fate/Stay Night's Gilgamesh. This also includes the powers of fictional genies... Not to mention being a 60th level D&D wizard capable of casting the Wish spell. What? I can make fictional characters too can't I?

2) To be able to travel to any fictional universe as a fully realized world and that while I am there, no one in any other universe can learn about what I did there as well as no time passing in my "home" world. This prevents the monkey's paw logic bomb of the fictional universe becoming part of a factual accounting of my adventures. Also it allows me to live a normal life (if I so choose) and go on sojourns without much consequence.

1. All members of my family, myself included, to live in perfect health for as long as they choose.

2. The ability to win any argument.

3. Success in all endeavors I choose to undertake.

I want to change my 3rd wish. I wish ignorance, hatred, and bigotry didn't exist.

Well.....

1) Wealth

2) That wealth be protected and cannot be lost throughout my entire bloodline/family

3) One massive dog hotel where every single dog that is about to or has been hurt will just magical poof away and to my dog hotel. And a cat hotel and... oh just one hotel each for every kind of animal, along with the staff and means to upkeep them.

Sniper Team 4:
Finally, probably the ability to heal anything. I don't mean for myself (although I would throw that in), but for other people. Lost your arm or leg in an explosion? I can restore it. Terminal disease? Gone. Metal disorder? Healed.
I would, of course, charge for this service not because I need the money, but because I would have the money used to help others. And it would greatly depend on the type of person asking to be healed. A little boy, with his parents at their wits end trying to cover his cancer treatment? Ten bucks. A millionaire who has spent his entire life stepping on other people and just being jerk? I'll take 80% of your entire value, thank you. Am I now playing God? You bet, but it's my wish, and since I already have enough money that I don't need to worry about it, I won't have to worry about getting greedy and will stick to using that money to help others.

https://qntm.org/jesus

Don't *be* the Jesus machine, it really won't end the way you'd like.

Padwolf:
Well.....

1) Wealth

2) That wealth be protected and cannot be lost throughout my entire bloodline/family

3) One massive dog hotel where every single dog that is about to or has been hurt will just magical poof away and to my dog hotel. And a cat hotel and... oh just one hotel each for every kind of animal, along with the staff and means to upkeep them.

Hmm, does that mean the rabbit hotel causes the starvation of a great number of predators, who since no one was hurting them would simply die. Also, thanks for forcing the entire world to go vegetarian.

Also, the human hotel is going to be filled with a lot of very confused masochists that keep getting teleported to different rooms...

Silent Protagonist:

Saelune:
Is World Peace an option?

Fuck it, I will stick to selfish desires, cause thats what people want to hear, isnt it?

Immortality (Duh)

Perfect appearance to my preference (Want to look good for the being immortal and what not)

No longer having anxiety disorders. Sure, maybe being immortal and beautiful will make that wish a waste, but better play it safe, right?

Immortality is a classic mistake. In the short term you get to watch everyone you will ever care about grow old and die until you become completely emotionally numb. In the medium term humanity either dies out or evolves to a point where they will have less in common with you biologically and mentally than we today would have in common with an immortal Homo habilis. In the long term you will drift in total darkness, frozen but unable to die, for eons as the universe slowly decays towards it's eventual heat death, because our universe, unlike you, is mortal. If you're lucky time might stop eventually.

A retort for the short and medium terms.

image

LysanderNemoinis:
First wish, the religion of Islam never existed.

Second wish, the theory of communism/socialism never existed.

Third wish, a Coke.

You're welcome, hundreds of millions of people who are now alive because they weren't killed by those awful things.

One change I'd make to that first one. Have all humans born knowing what religion is actually the right one. Bam. So many questions now dealt with.

As for my wishes, infinite wealth, eternal youth, and for waifu/husbandu bots that DON'T fall into the uncanny valley to exist and be easily affordable for all.

Failing that last one, since it could probably constitute two wishes, another Genie so I can get that last one, and should both genies be amicable types wish for their freedom with the last one.

Infinite genies. Or possibly wish for the genie to forget that every following wish is not the first wish.

After that... A 12 inch pianist?

Or maybe immortality.

And the ability to create new universes and travel to them. Oh look, I didn't even need the extra wishes.

pookie101:

undeadsuitor:
I wish that I could wish for more wishes

and then I would wish for more wishes

enjoy your time loop hahaha

image

fine

just give me a sandwich then

1) More genies
2) ???
3) PROFIT

1. For humanity to enter a golden age of scientific, cultural and social progress culminating in an interstellar empire filled woth earth-like terraformed worlds.

2. Help humans perfect and tailor their bodies by creating a genetics based panacea machine.

3. To be essentially "unclip" from time Slaughterhouse 5 style and posses and control different sentient creatures thoughout spacetime at will, including my own past and future selves.

I wished-

1- The genine to have the same mindset as my.
Yes that is a waste of a wish but if media dictation of genine taught me anything (X-File, Fairy Odd Parent and the Wishmaster etc), Genine will take your wish "literally" or interpreted like eg in the X-Files, Mulder wish for "world peace" which the genie made everyone dissapear and thus "peace" and quiet!
Hopefully this means the next wish I make, the genie understood what I mean from the wish I had made!

2- ???

3- I wish the genie in front of me is free! What? It's the only noble thing to do!

Yes I left wish 2 as ??? intentionally as I really don't know what to do with it.
I mean I could be selfish with the usual wish for being rich but consider how messed up the world is right now, maybe wishing for a better world would suffice?
"Better" is a vague word which maybe would wish everyone understand each other better or shown more empathy would leave to world peace or maybe wishing for the poors/ low income/ actually everyone except for the wealthy to have more money?
Granted I have a feeling with the latter, they will just make the spending and cost more expensive and thus back to square 1.

Schadrach:

Hmm, does that mean the rabbit hotel causes the starvation of a great number of predators, who since no one was hurting them would simply die. Also, thanks for forcing the entire world to go vegetarian.

Also, the human hotel is going to be filled with a lot of very confused masochists that keep getting teleported to different rooms...

Oh no, I mainly mean pet animals who are about to be beaten by humans, I don't want to upset the full balance of the world. Besides, ain't no one gonna take ma bacon from me!

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