This post is long. You hath been warned.
This is what goes on
inside my head.
Directed by Peter Jackson
Written by Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, Fran Walsh, Craig McCracken, Genndy Tartakovsky
Produced by Michael Bay
Starring...
Kate Winslet as Blossom
Naomi Watts as Bubbles
Liv Tyler as Buttercup
Viggo Mortensen as Professor Utonium
Andy Serkis as Mojo Jojo
Tagline: This Summer: Suger, Spice, and everything nice will come together to fight the ultimate evil.
Just when you thought Peter Jackson had done every possibly sort of epic thing there is, he goes and one ups himself. The Powerpuff Girls were a delightful little Saturday Morning type cartoon from that whacky Craig McCracken, who worked as well on Dexter's Lab. I didn't think it could be done, but he's done it: Peter Jackson, director of such cinematic masterpieces as King Kong and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, has now taken this simple Saturday morning cartoon and turned it into an epic. Along with his usual writing team, both McCracken and his Dexter's Lab co-writer Genndy Tartakovsky, he has crafted an epic that crosses just about every genre known to man. You really have to see it to believe it, but since you probably won't get a chance to see this one in theaters any time soon, I suppose I'll do my best to give you the lowdown.
In the opening prequel sequence, the evil Mojo Jojo (played by a hyper-computer animated Andy Serkis) is laying waste to the City of Townsville. The opening is clearly reminiscent of the opening in The Fellowship of the Ring, complete with the giant volcano for some reason. Why, I do not know. All that really matters is it is the perfect opportunity for the girls to show off their skills. The young Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup show up to save the day. Blossom uses her ice breath to freeze the volcano moments before it erupts, which would utterly destroy the city. While Bubbles distracts Mojo Jojo's second in command, the newly created General Discomfort (played by Jack Black), with her sonic scream, Buttercup just generally beats on people for no reason. The entire sequence is utterly pointless and nothing more than an excuse to show off the admittedly spectacular effects. The girls have never looked so magnificent flying through the air, and here the sound effects are in full Dolby 5.0 digital sound. When Bubbles lets out a sonic scream, your ears WILL bleed. I know mine did.
Anyway, with the volcano stopped, the girls turn their attention to Mojo Jojo himself. As the group battle atop the frozen volcano, General Discomfort triggers a series of explosions that restart the volcano, spouting fire and magma and such as the group battles. Again, utterly pointless, but spectacular. After disabling Discomfort with Blossom's ice breath, the girls manage to knock Mojo Jojo off the rim of the volcano, watching him fall to his doom in the flaming hell below. The city is saved once again, and with Mojo Jojo gone and General Discomfort safely locked away in a maximum security underwater prison (why it is underwater I do not know), the city is completely devoid of villains. With their final victory under their belts, they graduate from Kindergarten and are finally on their way to becoming women. Everything is as it should be.
Or so they think.
Flash forward twenty years. The girls are all grown up and hot as hell (miniskirts, woo!) and are living their separate lives around the globe. Blossom has become the CEO of a major international corporation specializing in computer processors (subtle), Bubbles has founded her own major toy corporation (awwww), and Buttercup has become a globe trotting big game hunter (why not). They each have their own lives, and for the next half hour we get to watch them live them. Seriously. We watch Blossom talk about computers. We watch Bubbles approve new toy designs. Admittedly, watching Buttercup single handedly blow away an entire army of what appeared to be demonic Tibetan goats was hotter than hell, but it made no God damn sense. I mean, the goats breathed fire spouting chipmunks for Christ sake. Who the hell even thinks of these things? Still, those forty minutes watching her running around the mountain in a miniskirt carrying two gattling guns was somewhat interesting for the first twenty minutes. Once we hit the half hour mark, it didn't really pick up until she ran out of bullets and started snapping the demon goats necks with her legs.
Meanwhile, Blossom is doing her thing with the computers. Hers is without a doubt the most boring hour of the movie, considering the only thing that happens is the robot rampage. You see, apparently her company was designing a new type of super processor that can link together computers in an unbreakable wireless network that can be controlled from a single remote. Gee, this won't have anything to do with the plot will it? So while her building is under attack from the robots, she starts flying around and beating ass and stuff, all that jazz. At one point she (and I'm not kidding) grabs a three hole punch and starts trashing the robots by punching their internal memory mainframe out. Then there's flaming arrow crossbows, which is just weird, but not as weird as when the entire office building descended into vicious sectarian violence. One minute accounting is running the numbers, the next they're cannibalizing one another and all sorts of stuff. Eventually she makes it out of the building and the whole thing explodes for some reason. No one really seems to care, but to each his own. I can't help but wonder if Bay didn't get behind the camera for this scene.
Lastly, Bubbles at her toy company finds herself having to deal with a sudden lack of material to make her toys. You see, apparently someone has been gathering up all the raw materials in the world and stockpiling them for their presumably own evil doings. So she sets out with a crew of highly trained 1940s explorers for some reason to the warehouse on the other side of town to check out what they have left. All her story is is two and a half hours of Naomi Watts giggling and smiling. In a miniskirt. I mean fuck, I won't complain, but when there are only four dinosaur stampedes, I start thinking what the fuck Peter Jackson? You don't have the budget for six giant dinosaur stampedes? So anyway, Bubbles makes it to the warehouse after losing only thirty seven of her team, to find the place not only empty, but full of evil monks! MONKS! So anyway, turns out the monks are part of an international conspiracy headed by one of the Powerpuff Girls' most ruthless enemies: Mojo Jojo.
After defeating the army of monks, Bubbles calls on the other two sisters. They come together in a building that is hilariously decrepit before returning to The City of Townsville, traveling to the pointlessly underwater prison where they find that General Discomfort has been freed. While in Townsville, a mysterious wall rises from the ground around the entire city, sealing them in. Apparently Mojo Jojo wasn't killed in the volcano, but rather horribly disfigured, and turned into a giant for no particular reason. As the girls watch from the streets amidst the crowds, Mojo Jojo appears on a massive floating screen held up by twenty six CGI blimps (God damn it Peter Jackson) and reveals his plans. Using the demonic Tibetan goats, hive-minded together with the computer chips, and reinforced with steel skeletons manufactured from all the worlds raw materials, Mojo Jojo has created an army of super metallic demonic goats which are networked together. Apparently. Also, he is no longer Mojo Jojo, but Jojomon. Seriously.
Anyway, he unleashes his army of goat things on the city, and after battling them for a good couple of hours, the girls finally have to fall back. As they flee from the goat things, they end up surrounded. Also, it turns out that the wall around the city has rendered them powerless, but they're just now realizing it. Anyway, they're about to be trounced when guess who shows up?
Samurai Jack.
Yes, Samurai Jack (played by Gerard Butler of 300), shows up and starts cutting through the goat things like nothing else. This is where the blood really gets going. I am not kidding, the blood in this part of the movie is so over the top it's just fucking pointless. Anyway, they flee to the outer edges of the city, seeking out their father, the aging Professor Utonium (played by Viggo Mortensen), who they hope will help them bring down Jojomon once and for all by restoring their powers. They discover that the wall erected around the city has sapped them of their powers by canceling out their DNA, which is infused with the deadly Chemical-X, with a mysterious new compound known as Compound-Y. There is only one way to recover their powers: expose the girls once again to the deadly Chemical-X in hopes that the double dose may manage to overpower Compound-Y. Samurai Jack (seriously, Samurai fucking Jack) informs them that while they are doing this, he must venture forth into the city in an attempt to regain his honor or some crap.
Anyway, Utonium prepares the tank, and the girls wait for him to "accidentally" expose them to the chemical once again. When he does, the results are ridiculously spectacular. The entire house erupts in a small nuclear fireball of sorts, and the girls emerge glowing pink, green, and blue. And hot. The explosion blows pretty much all their clothes off, which is like... damn. So anyway, in the explosion Professor Utonium was mortally wounded, and while he lies dying he tells the girls that now with their powers back, they should be able to defeat Jojomon once and for all, and bring peace to the world forever or until the sequel. And with that he dies. Samurai Jack returns and the foursome head out for the final epic battle.
And this is where Michael Bay comes in. You see, the foursome head towards Jojomon's old volcano (which has apparently been restarted for some reason) in a half million dollar concept sports car traveling down the apparently several hundred mile long Townsville Freeway. This is when demon goats in sports cars, motorcycles, and black four door sedans show up. Now, before you ask (and I know what the question is), I will answer it: no, I don't know why the fuck demonic Tibetan goats are driving sports cars, sedans, or motorcycles. I mean sweet jumping Jesus crackers, demon goats on motorcycles. It's just... you have to see it to believe it, I cannot--and half the fuckers are albinos, so there are a couple of times when they accidentally drive in front of one another and the headlights cause them to explode. And then the cars start rolling. And the sedans. And the... it's not even fucking funny after the second hour. I can put up with rolling cars as much as the next man, but sweet Jesus, how many cars do these demon goats have? It's like, just bleating and shooting and why the hell do the Powerpuff girls have shotguns not that I'm complaining about that.
So this goes on for, like... longer than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy and then some, of these girls blasting demon goats on stuff with shotguns. And they're rolling and crashing and such, but I will admit the one scene where Buttercup does this insane spin thing from bike to bike snapping their necks was pretty cool. Ridiculously pointless, but cool. Kind of like this entire movie. Eh, whatever, because they finally make it to the volcano, and the final duel begins. It's basically just five hours of them flying around in miniskirts (it's windy on the volcano) leaving behind colorful little trails of whatever the hell that stuff is. Powerpuff energy or something, I don't know. Anyway, it goes on like this. And there are biplanes. Piloted by demon goats. I mean Jesus Christ, Peter Jackson. And when they crash, you know what they do? Roll. They fucking roll. MICHAEL BAY!
Anyway, after this whole mess is over, Samurai Jack manages to run up the side of Jojomon where he stabs his sword through the monkey's eye. He ends up falling through into the control center, and it turns out that the real Mojo Jojo, the horribly disfigured creature, is living inside on life support with General Discomfort at his side, controlling the army. So Samurai Jack goes up to Mojo Jojo and cuts his head off with his sword. Then General Discomfort shows up and uses some sort of sonic gun or something to blow Jack out the eyeball window, where he falls to his doom. As Buttercup tries to race after him to save him, she ends up veering off course as some lava blasts up, and Jack plunges into the lava.
So it turns out Buttercup was in love with Jack, and she goes insane with rage and flies in through the eye, where she reveals her special super power: the ability to create a self contained green whirlwind. So while she's whirling about General Discomfort is trying to withstand the force of of the whirlwind and hits the self destruct button which will initiate a massive chain of explosions as self contained nuclear warheads within the remaining demon goats which will lead to the complete destruction of the city. Just as he pushes the button he's sucked into the whirlwind and ripped apart. So now faced with the utter destruction of the City of Townsville, the girls have no choice but to take the Jojomon robot into space so as to break the connection between the demon goats, thus ensuring that the detonations will not occur. What reason they have to believe this I do not know, but they do it anyway. So they take the robot into space, and hurl it into the sun.
So then they all pass out because apparently they can't breath in space. Whatever, they all fall to Earth, hitting so hard they punch their way down a couple stories into the ground. With all the demon goats disabled, the surviving citizens of Townsville emerge from the ruins and gather the three girls up, carrying them away as heroes as around the city the walls crumble, letting the sun shine in once again, as the flaming remains of the Jojomon robot burn up as they enter the atmosphere. Sure, it was hurled into the sun, but fuck physics and all that, this is God damn dramatic damn it! Like the end of Armageddon only with a giant robot monkey bits.
So then we flash ahead two years. The City of Townsville has been rebuilt, and all is as it should be. The volcano has been destroyed, and a monument has been erected to Professor Utonium and Samurai Jack on the spot where it used to be. As the girls, now recuperated and happy as they should be and wearing new miniskirts, stand by the monuments reflecting on the past, the ground begins to shake. As the monuments are blown away the ground erupts, and out emerges the giant red skinned demon with crab arms, HIM. Basically the devil, but not quite. Ironically they had HIM'S cover of "Wicked Game" playing when he burst from the ground, which I'm sure will ensure plenty of soundtrack sales. So anyway, as HIM emerges from the ground, flames setting fire to the nearby buildings, the girls hit their action poses and the camera smashes to black.
And that's the movie. Seriously. That is the fucking Powerpuff Girls movie. It's like... I don't know what it's like! It's a weird movie is what it is. It makes no sense, it's thirty two hours long, and it's basically just miniskirts, rolling cars, explosions, CGI demon goats, and a fucking giant monkey.
It's fucking AWESOME.
Next time on... Ranty Reviews...
Boll! Blood! Rayne! Uwe Boll's Bloodrayne 2!
Need to get your ranty fix? Read the other Ranty Reviews!
The Complete Ranty Compendium
This post is long. You hath been warned.
inside my head.
Directed by Peter Jackson
Written by Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, Fran Walsh, Craig McCracken, Genndy Tartakovsky
Produced by Michael Bay
Starring...
Kate Winslet as Blossom
Naomi Watts as Bubbles
Liv Tyler as Buttercup
Viggo Mortensen as Professor Utonium
Andy Serkis as Mojo Jojo
Tagline: This Summer: Suger, Spice, and everything nice will come together to fight the ultimate evil.
Just when you thought Peter Jackson had done every possibly sort of epic thing there is, he goes and one ups himself. The Powerpuff Girls were a delightful little Saturday Morning type cartoon from that whacky Craig McCracken, who worked as well on Dexter's Lab. I didn't think it could be done, but he's done it: Peter Jackson, director of such cinematic masterpieces as King Kong and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, has now taken this simple Saturday morning cartoon and turned it into an epic. Along with his usual writing team, both McCracken and his Dexter's Lab co-writer Genndy Tartakovsky, he has crafted an epic that crosses just about every genre known to man. You really have to see it to believe it, but since you probably won't get a chance to see this one in theaters any time soon, I suppose I'll do my best to give you the lowdown.
In the opening prequel sequence, the evil Mojo Jojo (played by a hyper-computer animated Andy Serkis) is laying waste to the City of Townsville. The opening is clearly reminiscent of the opening in The Fellowship of the Ring, complete with the giant volcano for some reason. Why, I do not know. All that really matters is it is the perfect opportunity for the girls to show off their skills. The young Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup show up to save the day. Blossom uses her ice breath to freeze the volcano moments before it erupts, which would utterly destroy the city. While Bubbles distracts Mojo Jojo's second in command, the newly created General Discomfort (played by Jack Black), with her sonic scream, Buttercup just generally beats on people for no reason. The entire sequence is utterly pointless and nothing more than an excuse to show off the admittedly spectacular effects. The girls have never looked so magnificent flying through the air, and here the sound effects are in full Dolby 5.0 digital sound. When Bubbles lets out a sonic scream, your ears WILL bleed. I know mine did.
Anyway, with the volcano stopped, the girls turn their attention to Mojo Jojo himself. As the group battle atop the frozen volcano, General Discomfort triggers a series of explosions that restart the volcano, spouting fire and magma and such as the group battles. Again, utterly pointless, but spectacular. After disabling Discomfort with Blossom's ice breath, the girls manage to knock Mojo Jojo off the rim of the volcano, watching him fall to his doom in the flaming hell below. The city is saved once again, and with Mojo Jojo gone and General Discomfort safely locked away in a maximum security underwater prison (why it is underwater I do not know), the city is completely devoid of villains. With their final victory under their belts, they graduate from Kindergarten and are finally on their way to becoming women. Everything is as it should be.
Or so they think.
Flash forward twenty years. The girls are all grown up and hot as hell (miniskirts, woo!) and are living their separate lives around the globe. Blossom has become the CEO of a major international corporation specializing in computer processors (subtle), Bubbles has founded her own major toy corporation (awwww), and Buttercup has become a globe trotting big game hunter (why not). They each have their own lives, and for the next half hour we get to watch them live them. Seriously. We watch Blossom talk about computers. We watch Bubbles approve new toy designs. Admittedly, watching Buttercup single handedly blow away an entire army of what appeared to be demonic Tibetan goats was hotter than hell, but it made no God damn sense. I mean, the goats breathed fire spouting chipmunks for Christ sake. Who the hell even thinks of these things? Still, those forty minutes watching her running around the mountain in a miniskirt carrying two gattling guns was somewhat interesting for the first twenty minutes. Once we hit the half hour mark, it didn't really pick up until she ran out of bullets and started snapping the demon goats necks with her legs.
Meanwhile, Blossom is doing her thing with the computers. Hers is without a doubt the most boring hour of the movie, considering the only thing that happens is the robot rampage. You see, apparently her company was designing a new type of super processor that can link together computers in an unbreakable wireless network that can be controlled from a single remote. Gee, this won't have anything to do with the plot will it? So while her building is under attack from the robots, she starts flying around and beating ass and stuff, all that jazz. At one point she (and I'm not kidding) grabs a three hole punch and starts trashing the robots by punching their internal memory mainframe out. Then there's flaming arrow crossbows, which is just weird, but not as weird as when the entire office building descended into vicious sectarian violence. One minute accounting is running the numbers, the next they're cannibalizing one another and all sorts of stuff. Eventually she makes it out of the building and the whole thing explodes for some reason. No one really seems to care, but to each his own. I can't help but wonder if Bay didn't get behind the camera for this scene.
Lastly, Bubbles at her toy company finds herself having to deal with a sudden lack of material to make her toys. You see, apparently someone has been gathering up all the raw materials in the world and stockpiling them for their presumably own evil doings. So she sets out with a crew of highly trained 1940s explorers for some reason to the warehouse on the other side of town to check out what they have left. All her story is is two and a half hours of Naomi Watts giggling and smiling. In a miniskirt. I mean fuck, I won't complain, but when there are only four dinosaur stampedes, I start thinking what the fuck Peter Jackson? You don't have the budget for six giant dinosaur stampedes? So anyway, Bubbles makes it to the warehouse after losing only thirty seven of her team, to find the place not only empty, but full of evil monks! MONKS! So anyway, turns out the monks are part of an international conspiracy headed by one of the Powerpuff Girls' most ruthless enemies: Mojo Jojo.
After defeating the army of monks, Bubbles calls on the other two sisters. They come together in a building that is hilariously decrepit before returning to The City of Townsville, traveling to the pointlessly underwater prison where they find that General Discomfort has been freed. While in Townsville, a mysterious wall rises from the ground around the entire city, sealing them in. Apparently Mojo Jojo wasn't killed in the volcano, but rather horribly disfigured, and turned into a giant for no particular reason. As the girls watch from the streets amidst the crowds, Mojo Jojo appears on a massive floating screen held up by twenty six CGI blimps (God damn it Peter Jackson) and reveals his plans. Using the demonic Tibetan goats, hive-minded together with the computer chips, and reinforced with steel skeletons manufactured from all the worlds raw materials, Mojo Jojo has created an army of super metallic demonic goats which are networked together. Apparently. Also, he is no longer Mojo Jojo, but Jojomon. Seriously.
Anyway, he unleashes his army of goat things on the city, and after battling them for a good couple of hours, the girls finally have to fall back. As they flee from the goat things, they end up surrounded. Also, it turns out that the wall around the city has rendered them powerless, but they're just now realizing it. Anyway, they're about to be trounced when guess who shows up?
Samurai Jack.
Yes, Samurai Jack (played by Gerard Butler of 300), shows up and starts cutting through the goat things like nothing else. This is where the blood really gets going. I am not kidding, the blood in this part of the movie is so over the top it's just fucking pointless. Anyway, they flee to the outer edges of the city, seeking out their father, the aging Professor Utonium (played by Viggo Mortensen), who they hope will help them bring down Jojomon once and for all by restoring their powers. They discover that the wall erected around the city has sapped them of their powers by canceling out their DNA, which is infused with the deadly Chemical-X, with a mysterious new compound known as Compound-Y. There is only one way to recover their powers: expose the girls once again to the deadly Chemical-X in hopes that the double dose may manage to overpower Compound-Y. Samurai Jack (seriously, Samurai fucking Jack) informs them that while they are doing this, he must venture forth into the city in an attempt to regain his honor or some crap.
Anyway, Utonium prepares the tank, and the girls wait for him to "accidentally" expose them to the chemical once again. When he does, the results are ridiculously spectacular. The entire house erupts in a small nuclear fireball of sorts, and the girls emerge glowing pink, green, and blue. And hot. The explosion blows pretty much all their clothes off, which is like... damn. So anyway, in the explosion Professor Utonium was mortally wounded, and while he lies dying he tells the girls that now with their powers back, they should be able to defeat Jojomon once and for all, and bring peace to the world forever or until the sequel. And with that he dies. Samurai Jack returns and the foursome head out for the final epic battle.
And this is where Michael Bay comes in. You see, the foursome head towards Jojomon's old volcano (which has apparently been restarted for some reason) in a half million dollar concept sports car traveling down the apparently several hundred mile long Townsville Freeway. This is when demon goats in sports cars, motorcycles, and black four door sedans show up. Now, before you ask (and I know what the question is), I will answer it: no, I don't know why the fuck demonic Tibetan goats are driving sports cars, sedans, or motorcycles. I mean sweet jumping Jesus crackers, demon goats on motorcycles. It's just... you have to see it to believe it, I cannot--and half the fuckers are albinos, so there are a couple of times when they accidentally drive in front of one another and the headlights cause them to explode. And then the cars start rolling. And the sedans. And the... it's not even fucking funny after the second hour. I can put up with rolling cars as much as the next man, but sweet Jesus, how many cars do these demon goats have? It's like, just bleating and shooting and why the hell do the Powerpuff girls have shotguns not that I'm complaining about that.
So this goes on for, like... longer than the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy and then some, of these girls blasting demon goats on stuff with shotguns. And they're rolling and crashing and such, but I will admit the one scene where Buttercup does this insane spin thing from bike to bike snapping their necks was pretty cool. Ridiculously pointless, but cool. Kind of like this entire movie. Eh, whatever, because they finally make it to the volcano, and the final duel begins. It's basically just five hours of them flying around in miniskirts (it's windy on the volcano) leaving behind colorful little trails of whatever the hell that stuff is. Powerpuff energy or something, I don't know. Anyway, it goes on like this. And there are biplanes. Piloted by demon goats. I mean Jesus Christ, Peter Jackson. And when they crash, you know what they do? Roll. They fucking roll. MICHAEL BAY!
Anyway, after this whole mess is over, Samurai Jack manages to run up the side of Jojomon where he stabs his sword through the monkey's eye. He ends up falling through into the control center, and it turns out that the real Mojo Jojo, the horribly disfigured creature, is living inside on life support with General Discomfort at his side, controlling the army. So Samurai Jack goes up to Mojo Jojo and cuts his head off with his sword. Then General Discomfort shows up and uses some sort of sonic gun or something to blow Jack out the eyeball window, where he falls to his doom. As Buttercup tries to race after him to save him, she ends up veering off course as some lava blasts up, and Jack plunges into the lava.
So it turns out Buttercup was in love with Jack, and she goes insane with rage and flies in through the eye, where she reveals her special super power: the ability to create a self contained green whirlwind. So while she's whirling about General Discomfort is trying to withstand the force of of the whirlwind and hits the self destruct button which will initiate a massive chain of explosions as self contained nuclear warheads within the remaining demon goats which will lead to the complete destruction of the city. Just as he pushes the button he's sucked into the whirlwind and ripped apart. So now faced with the utter destruction of the City of Townsville, the girls have no choice but to take the Jojomon robot into space so as to break the connection between the demon goats, thus ensuring that the detonations will not occur. What reason they have to believe this I do not know, but they do it anyway. So they take the robot into space, and hurl it into the sun.
So then they all pass out because apparently they can't breath in space. Whatever, they all fall to Earth, hitting so hard they punch their way down a couple stories into the ground. With all the demon goats disabled, the surviving citizens of Townsville emerge from the ruins and gather the three girls up, carrying them away as heroes as around the city the walls crumble, letting the sun shine in once again, as the flaming remains of the Jojomon robot burn up as they enter the atmosphere. Sure, it was hurled into the sun, but fuck physics and all that, this is God damn dramatic damn it! Like the end of Armageddon only with a giant robot monkey bits.
So then we flash ahead two years. The City of Townsville has been rebuilt, and all is as it should be. The volcano has been destroyed, and a monument has been erected to Professor Utonium and Samurai Jack on the spot where it used to be. As the girls, now recuperated and happy as they should be and wearing new miniskirts, stand by the monuments reflecting on the past, the ground begins to shake. As the monuments are blown away the ground erupts, and out emerges the giant red skinned demon with crab arms, HIM. Basically the devil, but not quite. Ironically they had HIM'S cover of "Wicked Game" playing when he burst from the ground, which I'm sure will ensure plenty of soundtrack sales. So anyway, as HIM emerges from the ground, flames setting fire to the nearby buildings, the girls hit their action poses and the camera smashes to black.
And that's the movie. Seriously. That is the fucking Powerpuff Girls movie. It's like... I don't know what it's like! It's a weird movie is what it is. It makes no sense, it's thirty two hours long, and it's basically just miniskirts, rolling cars, explosions, CGI demon goats, and a fucking giant monkey.
It's fucking AWESOME.
Next time on... Ranty Reviews...
Boll! Blood! Rayne! Uwe Boll's Bloodrayne 2!
Need to get your ranty fix? Read the other Ranty Reviews!
The Complete Ranty Compendium