Have you played the game of which I speak?
Yes, it was good
15% (6)
15% (6)
Yes, it was bad
10% (4)
10% (4)
No
72.5% (29)
72.5% (29)
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Poll: Celebrity Deathmatch; Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't like this game

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Tryzon's Nostalgic Gaming Trips #19
Celebrity Deathmatch (PS2, 2003)

Any game that lets you control Mr. T as he beats up aliens, werewolves and all manner of lesser celebrities immediately gets my attention. It's one of those things that must literally be impossible to dismiss at first glance, much like a Snickers cellotaped to a £20 note. Of course, neither the TV show or the game based on it focus entirely on Mr. T, as stupid as that is. You might have a choice of a dozen or two other famous folk, but when there's Mr. T, why bother with any other options?

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Mr. T is about to bring down a Tardis-shaped block of pain on poor Carrot Top

Since the basic concept of the programme is to have a pair of celebrities beat eachother to clay paste in a wrestling arena, it was inevitable that the game would follow a similar theme. You can either mix and match your own combatants, arenas, time limits and styles of match (standard, cage...) or go through the equivalent of a campaign: this basically amounts to fighting three matches in a row and seeing how well you do before unlocking the next one. The characters are always fixed, but you can fight as either of the two involved in each round.

Thus we get into the actual gameplay, which is as basic as it comes but still strangely compelling for reasons I'll be getting to in a moment. You have your standard array of light, strong and special attacks, a grapple move, a block button and a special über-move which you can unleash whenever you taunt or smack your opponent enough to fill a power bar. It's not at all complex or original, but it is easily picked up and any fool can figure out what few intricacies there are without effort. The action is speedy, because you're always on the move and aiming to get some hits in or nick one of the power-ups that randomly generate nearby.

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This is about as subtle as the humour gets

Now if the game world was populated merely by stick figures and blank backgrounds this might make for an average Flash title, but luckily the people at Big Ape Productions (who previously made Simpsons Wrestling, funnily enough) didn't let the license go to waste and made their product as attractive and chock-full as a low-budget company could hope to. Every arena is completely decked out with ludicrous props and features, the combatants all look, act and speak in their own unique fashion, the original commentators voice their in-game selves (endlessly make witty quips in both the menus and during confrontations) and best of all gore and all manner of bodily fluids go flying everywhere at the slightest provocation.

Let's get into the gore some more (hey, that rhymes!). Easily the highlight of the battles is the sheer amount of blood that can be leached from an opponent: a character with little health looks like they've been slammed against a brick wall seven times, and the weapons that can be picked up have the potential to sever limbs, leaving victims hopping around with stubs. Once someone finally activates their finisher on a battered foe, the screen is simply drenched in claret. The thrill of the kill is what kept me pushing on, and I can imagine multiplayer being at least briefly entertaining.

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Sorry about the poor quality here, but this was the best example of the luscious violence I could find

The entire game is just so delightfully over-the-top that when you see Mr. T chase his opponent around throwing bombs at them and then dropping the A-Team van on their head, you cannot help but be amused. Another cunning plan involves recreating yourself in the "create-a-celebrity" screen and then playing against them as the Punisher of Fools. Good stuff.

At the end of the day, Celebrity Deathmatch isn't really a very good game: the gameplay is amazingly shallow, it's not at all hard unless you push the difficulty to its limits, and I noticed that the collision detection is suspect. But really, these flaws are made irrelevant when you take into consideration that what with Mr. T, extreme violence and a genuinely funny script involved, this is a real candidate for the most awesome title on the planet. I think this might even be the only game that Mr. T has ever appeared in. Plus I can't help but mention that you can buy Celebrity Deathmatch for 99p on Amazon, or even just 1p if you get the PS1 version. Other than visual differences, they're probably identical, so you might consider saving the cash for a few Snickers Duos.

Regardless, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the game, and spent nearly two whole hours finishing the episodes and then randomly pitting Mr. T against unlucky adversaries. I'm arranging a game day so that I can experiment with various co-op titles, and Celebrity Deathmatch is definitely amongst that pile. If you're a fan of the show or like beat-'em-ups in general, give this a look. It's the most hilariously OTT thing I've played since Manhunt, but somehow more entertaining in the long run.

And if still you have doubts, you can murder the entire cast of 'N Sync until you tire of seeing Mr. T kicking girly man-children in the face. See? I told you this game had longevity.

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Some people are just too easy to hate...

I loved it. Ahhh the memories. To bad I can't find a copy anywhere.

I haven't played it. But it looks fun.

I'd like a modern day remake. It'd sell millions because we all want to beat the shit out of Paris Hilton.

Jester Lord:
I loved it. Ahhh the memories. To bad I can't find a copy anywhere.

Internet: the place to find anything that isn't anywhere else.

Tryzon:

Jester Lord:
I loved it. Ahhh the memories. To bad I can't find a copy anywhere.

Internet: the place to find anything that isn't anywhere else.

I don't trust people who sell me things face to fae. Why would I trust someone that might be some kind of bastard and sell me crap (happened before) Plus I couldn't find a copy with a decent price.

Cpt_Oblivious:
I haven't played it. But it looks fun.

I'd like a modern day remake. It'd sell millions because we all want to beat the shit out of Paris Hilton.

i'd buy a copy
beatting NSYNC into a bloodly comma was great
and i'd rather see chuck norris fight paris and nicole richie and kill them both with a finger

mightyfoo69:
and i'd rather see chuck norris fight paris and nicole richie and kill them both with a finger

I was thinking that Chuck Norris was the only missing ingredient too!

Tryzon:

Jester Lord:
I loved it. Ahhh the memories. To bad I can't find a copy anywhere.

Internet: the place to find anything that isn't anywhere else.

Apart from ICO.

nathan-dts:
Apart from ICO.

What do you mean by that? I don't know about the States, but here in the UK, ICO is *never* on shelves. Only the cyber-shops can provide you with it, and it costs £30 or more for the privelidge.

I downloaded an episode of the show onto my iPod once. It was o.k..nothing groundbreaking, but it was entertaining.

Wow NSync, wow just wow I forgot about them

Tryzon:

nathan-dts:
Apart from ICO.

What do you mean by that? I don't know about the States, but here in the UK, ICO is *never* on shelves. Only the cyber-shops can provide you with it, and it costs £30 or more for the privelidge.

The person who I quoted was saying that you can find every game on the internet, and I was saying except for ICO because it's extremely hard to find.

This. Looks. Awesome.

Even if the game sucked, I would buy this just for the spectacle of it.

Oh, man, I remember this show. I didn't know they made a game. The show was hilarious.

I've never played it, but honest to god that does seem to be the greatest video game ever, despite being a bad game, as it is just made from pure awesome.

Very good review aswell, covered all the basics and I can't really find anything wrong with it. Very witty and also very analytical, even looking at prices for the game.

OOOHHHH, i wanna beat nsinc

that would be great

There was a celebrity deathmatch game anD I DIDN'T PLAY IT?!...

*walks into a corner and cocks a magnum .44*

Celebrity Deathmatch was an atrocious game that belongs in the trash...like most of MTV's programming line up today...

nathan-dts:
The person who I quoted was saying that you can find every game on the internet, and I was saying except for ICO because it's extremely hard to find.

I was the person you quoted, and ICO is easily found in PAL regions, but it'll still cost you a pretty penny. They released it after Shadow of the Colossus came out to capitalise on how successful that proved.

MrBrightside919:
Celebrity Deathmatch was an atrocious game that belongs in the trash...like most of MTV's programming line up today...

My entire review's point was that it's technically a poor title, but somehow it's easily enjoyed. For the microscopic price point, who can complain?

I've never played it, but I loved the show, so maybe I'll check it out.

Oh, and I think beating up N SYNC sold me on that game. No matter how poor it is, it sounds like it has a lasting and redeeming quality.

Still, otherwise, that's a good review, although the scene of gratuitous violence failed to load - or was that the joke? I'm not sure.

I suppose I'd suggest centering the images, if I had to say something constructive, since it feels a lot easier on the eyes with centred images, I find, but maybe that's just me.

You said Mr T... like ALOT.

Tryzon:

MrBrightside919:
Celebrity Deathmatch was an atrocious game that belongs in the trash...like most of MTV's programming line up today...

My entire review's point was that it's technically a poor title, but somehow it's easily enjoyed. For the microscopic price point, who can complain?

I could get 5 better games for less than 10 dollars. Why would I buy this piece of gaming crap?

MrBrightside919:
[I could get 5 better games for less than 10 dollars. Why would I buy this piece of gaming crap?

You can get this for less than 2 quid. It's a curiousity, and enjoyable for a fair while. Still, if you want something brilliant for less than a tenner that works on something labeled Playstation, get Soul Reaver. That there's true awesomeness.

Mrsnugglesworth:
You said Mr T... like ALOT.

Yep, that was the joke ^_^

There was a game?

iamq:
There was a game?

Yes, but apparently not many knew of it, since you're the third or forth person to enquire about it.

 

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