Sassafrass Reviews: UK Big Brother and it's Celebrity spin off

Note: 'Celebrity' is used very loosely there in the title. This is also meant in jest and I hope it comes across like that. This was also cranked out due to boredom and the need to write something, anything coherent, even if the following isn't coherent at all.

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I have no idea if this the current logo or not.

So. Big Brother, BB, Big B or that show that you might watch with your girlfriend or boyfriend just to get past that 'awkward' moment you just had. A show so popular it has gone on for about 9 years and has had different versions in over 5 countries and has a legion of followers who may be just plain crazy. Or watching it for the guys or girls[1], whatever they like.

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Yes, ladies. He is single. And he was on BB! If you know his name, please PM me and tell me his name.

Now, the premise of this show is simple. Get a group of normal bonkers people, about twelve, maybe more and shove them in a house with cameras and make them do menial tasks and sometimes hilarious tasks that is intended as nothing more then to help them buy food to live on as they need to live, apparently, and every Friday night, vote them out so there is one person left who wins the massive cash prize and get's burned into you memory for about 15 minutes as long as you live. Win win, right?

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Ah, this guy. I know him. He's called Pete. He also has Tourettes. That's all I know. And he won it once.

Lose - lose, actually. While the idea was good in the first two seasons of it, it has become boring, stale, obsolete, whatever ever word you use for lame, really. It has become so boring, I find more fun in eating my own face, as that is a more worthwhile task and you will actually enjoy the pain you will no doubt inflict upon yourself in the process. No, seriously go and try it now. See? Wasn't that fun? No? Well, I find it fun. Big Brother wouldn't be too bad if, you know, something interesting happened now and again but nope. Any juicy talk is drowned out by Channel 4. ...Why? Why, would you make a show to attract viewers and then mute out anything that may interest us?! Morons...

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Oh, and speaking of moron, here are some for you to look at

Now, onto the host of BB in the UK, Who is it?? Davina McCall. Yeah.
Now, Davina. I'm sure she's a lovely person in the flesh and yes, I'm sure she wouldn't have her name attached to this shit show if she could get out of it but my god, is she trying to hard? She appears on screen and looks like she has had a bath tibe full of pep pills. She is constantly bouncing around the screen, like a rabbit on pep pills using a pogo stick. This makes me upset as I then have to watch a 40 year old woman, acting like a giddy teen. Or a rabbit on pep pills on a pogo stick, take your pick.

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This is Davina in a normal moment. She is also 21, according to site I got the image from. Ya, right.

Now, onto how Channel 4 covers this show when it is on the TV screens of the people.
Put simply, it is pure over-coverage. Every channel they have that isn't Film 4 has to show this nearly every hour of every single motherf*****g day! From the early hours of the morning till late at nigh, they have to cancel absolutely everything, including the newer series, just so people can get their fix of some wannabes either A) Sleeping B) Sleeping C) Pretending to have some sex or D) Sleeping again. Then of course, it has Big Brothers Little Brother, the little show that has to bring in body language experts to tell us that they are bored. WE KNOW THAT ALREADY!!! Why do you think they sleep all the time?! Because they're tired? NO! Because they have f**k all else to do! And are bored of the tasks that they have to do which include staying inside a cardboard bow for the longest and various over stuff I cannot be bothered to remember.

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Ah, but who is watching you? *A voice tells me something* What? 2 million people?!

Now, I shall review the 'celeb' version of this show. It goes a bit like this. A group of people who you may never have heard of (Jack Dee, Vinnie Jones and someone else being the main exceptions for me) enter the house and go through what is basically the same thing as the 'normal people. It just has 'celebrity' tacked on the name very loosely. Such 'celebs' this year include Katia Ivonova, Sisqo, Alex Reid and Dane Bowers. Who, who, who and who again? If you're gonna make a celeb version of a show, it helps to have celebrities. Shall I repeat that? It. Helps. To. Have. Celebrities. Oh, and another thing. If you must put this piece of sh-- show on TV, at least make sure it doesn't knock Scrubs out of the schedule. I hate C4 for doing that. I hate them a lot. Oh and the 'celeb' version has one very good point going for it. It's shorter then the normal version of it.

Now, onto my recommendation.

If you like watching what is basically your own life on a TV, this show is for you. If you are unsure about it, I'd advise giving it a miss. It has only gone downhill from Series 1 where it never really got up the hill to begin with and if you have never heard of this show and are hearing about it for the first time, I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I'll go get the gun, it is the only way to make you forget this.

Thanks for reading this quickly typed up rant review.

Feedback is welcomed, although this review doesn't seem like a 'feedback type of giving' review.
Reading back through, this seems to come off as a rant.
Ah, well. Beggars can't be choosers in what they hate.

[1] Looking at you, my real life friend.

BB is the only situation where Mass Murder is justified.

But otherwise, an enjoyable read.

I'm going to read it again to let it sink in.

ahhhhhhhhh
thank you, I was starting to think about pondering about wondering about maybe seeing that show

now I know
I can just go over to a friends house and see the same thing

you have saved me from wasting a good half hour of my life

Ha! I loved it.

Sigh. I remember BB when people liked it.

Sassafrass and VaudevillainVeteren Review: Scrubs

Can't Wait!

pimppeter2:
Ha! I loved it.

Sigh. I remember BB when people liked it.

Sassafrass and VaudevillainVeteren Review: Scrubs

Can't Wait!

Why, thank you.
And nor can I on the duel review. No idea when it'll be ready but I think it shall be pretty good myself.

Love the review. Spot on. You didn't mention the wide array of mental faces that Davina uses though, and I think they're much more annoying then her leaping around...

Also, my money's on Vinnie Jones to kill at least one person in the house.

Oh Big B, how you have been dumping shit into our homes since 2000!. The only plus side is that at least we spread it to the Australians in return for "neighbours".

Oh and very nice review by the way!.

If I wanted to watch nutjobs acting like a bunch of doped up idiots I could go and sit in my local town center for a while, we have enough of the crazies out there to last a lifetime.

My mission to avoid reality Tv on the internet has failed once more.

I was tempted to blindly agree that BB is shit and jeer and move on.. BUT! I have something to confess!

I am Comadorcrack! And I Slightly Enjoy Big Brother!

It is an affliction I have suffered with for many years now, But I know... With your love and support.. I can over come this plague and become a fully functional Escapee once more.

D'=

I am forced to watch this by my family, I just have try and endure it. Now with 1hour of bible time for that American guy who keeps trying to preach to the house!

comadorcrack:
I was tempted to blindly agree that BB is shit and jeer and move on.. BUT! I have something to confess!

I am Comadorcrack! And I Slightly Enjoy Big Brother!

It is an affliction I have suffered with for many years now, But I know... With your love and support.. I can over come this plague and become a fully functional Escapee once more.

D'=

Well, I have a gun.
That may come in handy to help you with your 'problem'.

Sasquatch99:

comadorcrack:
I was tempted to blindly agree that BB is shit and jeer and move on.. BUT! I have something to confess!

I am Comadorcrack! And I Slightly Enjoy Big Brother!

It is an affliction I have suffered with for many years now, But I know... With your love and support.. I can over come this plague and become a fully functional Escapee once more.

D'=

Well, I have a gun.
That may come in handy to help you with your 'problem'.

If I may request it be as painful as is humanly possible?

Are you me from an alternate reality?
Because I swear, I have thought all of this at least once per time BB is on.

Anyway, a good review, but I'd put in a few bits that are relatively un-biased that explain why people do enjoy it, to stop it being such a rant.
Somehow.

seanthesheep:
Anyway, a good review, but I'd put in a few bits that are relatively un-biased that explain why people do enjoy it, to stop it being such a rant.
Somehow.

Well, I need to know why people like it, first of all.
Which I have asked and got this response: "I dunno."

comadorcrack:

Sasquatch99:

Well, I have a gun.
That may come in handy to help you with your 'problem'.

If I may request it be as painful as is humanly possible?

I'll break out the hammers.

Sasquatch99:

seanthesheep:
Anyway, a good review, but I'd put in a few bits that are relatively un-biased that explain why people do enjoy it, to stop it being such a rant.
Somehow.

Well, I need to know why people like it, first of all.
Which I have asked and got this response: "I dunno."

The reason for this is that people who like it are stupid and incapable of rational thought. Therefore, when trying to respond, they brainfart an "I dunno".

Heh, I watched one series and that was because Pete Bennett is a good friend of my dad. When my mum came and told me he'd gone in I thought she was taking the piss...

 

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