TV channel reviews. Want more or less of them?
Moar
63.6% (7)
63.6% (7)
No moar
27.3% (3)
27.3% (3)
Want to vote? Register now or Sign Up with Facebook
Poll: Sassafrass Reviews: Dave, A ...TV channel?

image

Legal stuff before I begin

Any TL;DR post will result in a report, not that this will be read, I just did this for poops and giggles really.
Youtube gets a nod for all videos used, as do the people that posted them.
This review may seem a little random and what not. That is because I have no idea if a TV channel has ever been reviewed at all and have no idea how to set about doing it.
This channel is only available in the UK, I think. Not sure if you crazy Yanks get it.
This review is mainly to let loose and be a bit silly while still recommending stuff.
Now forward, into the pages of history!

image

Now, a TV channel review. 'Why review a TV channel?', I hear you ask. I respond 'Why not?' You respond 'Why?'. I fail to think of a decent reason to do a review of a TV channel and tell you 'Just 'cos.' or 'Because I was bored, really.' followed by a shrug. Then, I actually think of a reason. It's a new and different direction to the usual movie and games reviews we see around. Sure, the idea at first may seem mad and a bit weird but that's OK. We all are deep down in our hearts. Or at least I think you are. Now, we begin the review. I shall pepper this review with clips from a few TV shows they show, just to show our American friends what they may or may not be missing out on.
Now, to begin, I shall tell you briefly about how Dave came to be.

Waaaaay back in the gold ol' year of 2007, a stirling year if I may say so, Dave came to be. After four stints as other channels, it was decided to move to relabel UKG 2(Or UK Gold 2) as Dave as 'Everyone knows a guy called Dave.' according to the mastermind behind the channel whose name Wikipedia helpfully leaves out. Thanks, Wikipedia(!) Anyway, after its launch, Dave has grown in the last 2 to 3 years and has become the tenth largest channel in the UK to date. Which is pretty impressive for a channel that is only two years old. Now, enough with the history, onto the review of Dave. Which is either going to fall flat or kick onto new levels after this. Or just stay the same.

WARNING: This vid contains traces of bad language and Frankie Boyle, a shock comedian so expect offensive jokes/language.

Now, the one thing I have noticed about Dave is that is seems to feature a lot of my favourite shows. Top Gear, Mock the Week, Whose Line is It Anyway?, Traffic Cops, Spaced and Red Dwarf. It seems to me that this channel has somehow tapped into my mind and gone 'Oh, he likes shows X and Y so we shall put them on for him.' Why this does seem brilliant and top notch for me and half of the British teenage population who likes things that explode, go sideways in a plume of smoke or slightly racist jokes from an angry Scottish guy, you have to remember. There are only so many episodes of the show in question so of course, they do end up showing repeats of the repeat of the repeat you watched about 4 weeks before hand. While I personally don't mind this, as I am a big fan of things that explode, things going said ways in a plume of smoke and slightly racist humour form an angry Scottish bloke, if you are not a fan of these said things or get worn out by repetition, repetition, repetition, repet- I'll stop now, but if you do get annoyed by repetition, this channel will either A) Annoy you massively or B) Annoy you slightly, while keeping you entertained while you feel annoyed.

Now, as mentioned in the title of this review, I sometimes refer to this channel as BBC 5. Why I do this is very simple to explain and prove. Nearly 90% of its shows are taken from the BBC. A full list of current and past programming helps me prove this. Look at the sheer amount of BBC shows that dominate that list. It is a staggering number of shows including BBC big hitters 'Top Gear' and 'Have I Got News For You?' which shows you that the guys at Dave are aiming high and hitting their marks if they are getting the BBC to allow them to show their biggest shows. While they do rely a lot on BBC shows to fill out the schedule, they do have a few shows that they themselves have commissioned like Argumental, which is shown in the clip just above this paragraph. These shows include, along with Argumental, Batteries not Included, World Rally Championship and Red Bull X-Fighters. Not a lot, granted but at least I get to watch men in cars drive on the very edge of their limit in World Rally Championship, men argue in Argumental, John Cleese being mad in Batteries Not Included and men on bikes doing all sorts of insane shit in X-Fighters and trust me, it is quite insane.

Now. Short review is quite short, yes. But this is because it is quite hard to think about what to review for a TV channel. I mean, you can do basically what I've done plus what exactly? I could mention the announcers, I guess? Yeah, the announcers will help me pad this out longer then it could have been.

Now, Dave employs an announcer to, well, announce stuff like shows and what have you. They interchange the announcers from time to time to keep things fresh, I guess. Don't actually know why they did this, maybe boredom or lack of actually keeping anyone locked up long enough to keep them under contract or some rubbish. Anyway, the announcers do a good job at announcing. What? I can't really go in-depth about how well they do now, can I? They sit in a booth somewhere and read something from a script. They do that pretty well, however so I guess that's a plus. Need to understand them when they tell you what show is coming up, don't you? Yeah, there isn't much to cover over this section. They read stuff from an auto-cue/script. They do it well.

One thing I can take an issue with is their editing of the programmes, however. They put most of their shows on in forty minute slots but more often then not end up ending about ten minutes before the end of that slot. Not really annoying, just a bit weird. Well, along with this, they tend to take anything remotely offensive out of the shows. For example, an episode of Top Gear where presenter Jeremy Clarkson makes a joke referring to truck drivers killing prostitutes and the entire scene that used before and after that joke is removed completely, which leaves the episode feeling disjointed and badly edited. While this has been done to obviously avoid complaints and to keep the Daily Mail readers quiet[1] but it sometimes takes some of the best moments of the shows out completely. This editing only applies before the 9pm Water-shed in Britain because after 9pm, they believe anyone that can find this sort of comedy offensive has gone to bed or they are just too lazy to continue their editing policy. Which is good, seeing as most of the comedy shown after 9pm could be considered offensive by anyone over 60 or any one who reads The Daily Mail.[2] This is the only issue I have, though.

Now, onto my recommendation. If that is actually possible to recommend a channel to people, anyway.

Dave is a good channel to watch for a quick 30 minute if you need to be made unbored. It is also a very good channel to watch if you are a big fan of any of the shows I have listed up there at the start of the review or of any of the ones that were in the handy link I used. You'll hate it if you don't like any of them, though. Which makes sense.

Well, thanks for reading this and I shall accept crazed applause for trying something unique and different any comments or criticisms you care to give.

[1] Oh God, did I just offend them? I'll flee, just in case. *Flees*
[2] Now I have offended them. If you don't hear from me, I've been killed by a hail of organic vegetables that were thrown my way.

I'm watching DAVE at the moment, and I consider it one of the only Satellite channels that I choose to watch.(And I have around 200)

I might watch HBO if I was in the States, or Comedy Central.

Well, I don't watch TV anymore, but most of the shows on there I have seen. Red Dwarf, now that I love. SMEGHEAD!

Anyway, great review, a really confident writing style.

Incidentally, I don't know anyone called Dave.

Double post, whoops.

Here, have a picture of the band Electric Wizard to make up for it.

image

Good as always Sas,I didn't even know Whose Line Is It Anyway? had a British version.
Also I'm playing N as we speak.

d(^_^)b

Well I've got to say not bad, that channel certainly is better than the crap we have in the states. Good job

Dave is actually one of my favourite channels. I do find how often the repeats happen irritating, though.

Dave is a brilliant channel. The only problem I have with it is that they rely on Top Gear too much during the daytime. To be fair, it's hard to get a show like Mock the Week on before the watershed but a couple of episodes of Qi wouldn't hurt anyone.

I used to really love Dave. As with you, it is all my favourite shows in one place, and an opportunity for me to catch up on the earlier episodes of MTW and Top Gear.

But now? I find I don't go on it so often. Argumental is brilliant and I'm perplexed as to why Batteries Not Included didn't get a second series.

(on the plus side, Dave have commissioned another series of Red Dwarf)

MurderousToaster:
Dave is actually one of my favourite channels. I do find how often the repeats happen irritating, though.

Aye, they are.
Take now, for example. They are showing an episode of Top Gear where they launch a Robin Reliant into the ground (Well, they technically do) and I distinctly remember watching this episode about 3 times in the past fortnight.

WafflesandBacon:
Good as always Sas,I didn't even know Whose Line Is It Anyway? had a British version.
Also I'm playing N as we speak.

d(^_^)b

Yeah, the British made it then you Yanks nicked it.
Remember that. ...The American version is better though.

And gooooooood.

Very nice Sas, Dave is probably my second favourite channel on TV at the moment, though that is partly because I only watch 3 channels.
All in all, a good review of a difficult topic, even if you did bring it upon yourself.

I also notice you haven't taken Bioshock off your future reviews list...
-_-

I like the review. Tis very good. I never fully got into Dave. I think because I watched a lot of the stuff when it came out and I am not great at watching things again unless I love them. QI is the only Dave programme that i have seen that I don't mind watching again.

I voted "no Moar", not because I din't like it but I think that reviewing something like a TV channel is cool as a bit of a curveball. It would detract to do it too much though.

tomtom94:

(on the plus side, Dave have commissioned another series of Red Dwarf)

Wait... a full 'nother series??? WHY was I not informed of this???

SeanTheSheep:
Very nice Sas, Dave is probably my second favourite channel on TV at the moment, though that is partly because I only watch 3 channels.
All in all, a good review of a difficult topic, even if you did bring it upon yourself.

I also notice you haven't taken Bioshock off your future reviews list...
-_-

Thanks for the kind words. Aye, I did bring it upon myself but it was worth it, I feel.
And that will be done in time, Sean. Gotta get some other things done first and then work out who reviews what for it.

Rararaz:
I like the review. Tis very good. I never fully got into Dave. I think because I watched a lot of the stuff when it came out and I am not great at watching things again unless I love them. QI is the only Dave programme that i have seen that I don't mind watching again.

I voted "no Moar", not because I din't like it but I think that reviewing something like a TV channel is cool as a bit of a curveball. It would detract to do it too much though.

Yeah, that is the repetition I mentioned. I watched most of the MtW episodes before, along with QI and Top Gear.

And I'm only going to do ITV 1 for a channel review then drop the idea completely. More fun and better to review stuff most people can get. But thanks for the kind words.

Sassafrass:

SeanTheSheep:
Very nice Sas, Dave is probably my second favourite channel on TV at the moment, though that is partly because I only watch 3 channels.
All in all, a good review of a difficult topic, even if you did bring it upon yourself.

I also notice you haven't taken Bioshock off your future reviews list...
-_-

Thanks for the kind words. Aye, I did bring it upon myself but it was worth it, I feel.
And that will be done in time, Sean. Gotta get some other things done first and then work out who reviews what for it.

Rararaz:
I like the review. Tis very good. I never fully got into Dave. I think because I watched a lot of the stuff when it came out and I am not great at watching things again unless I love them. QI is the only Dave programme that i have seen that I don't mind watching again.

I voted "no Moar", not because I din't like it but I think that reviewing something like a TV channel is cool as a bit of a curveball. It would detract to do it too much though.

Yeah, that is the repetition I mentioned. I watched most of the MtW episodes before, along with QI and Top Gear.

And I'm only going to do ITV 1 for a channel review then drop the idea completely. More fun and better to review stuff most people can get. But thanks for the kind words.

Firstly, I got very confused then as my name is also Sean!

Secondly, that sounds cool, I am looking forward to see how you tackle a larger and more varied channel. The only reason i give out kind words is becasue they are deserved. I like your reviews and hope you keep them up.

Rararaz:

Firstly, I got very confused then as my name is also Sean!

Secondly, that sounds cool, I am looking forward to see how you tackle a larger and more varied channel. The only reason i give out kind words is becasue they are deserved. I like your reviews and hope you keep them up.

Heh, confusion is an awesome thing to cause!

And secondly, it will probably be in the same way as this, just longer, more bitter and with more Cowell hate. Basically just me having a mini rant about ITV 1, really.

Sassafrass:

Heh, confusion is an awesome thing to cause!

And secondly, it will probably be in the same way as this, just longer, more bitter and with more Cowell hate. Basically just me having a mini rant about ITV 1, really.

Brilliant. The world generally needs more Cowell hate and ITV is a useless channel.

Rararaz:

Sassafrass:

Heh, confusion is an awesome thing to cause!

And secondly, it will probably be in the same way as this, just longer, more bitter and with more Cowell hate. Basically just me having a mini rant about ITV 1, really.

Brilliant. The world generally needs more Cowell hate and ITV is a useless channel.

Oh, you'll love the X-Factor review then.
Promised to be full of dislike and hate for Cowell or your money back!

As a Dave, myself, it saddens me and somewhat shames me to say that: The television channel known as Dave is shit. Total shit.

Example:

"Oh, top gear is on next, I love that show! ...ahh I've seen this episode 10 times and its broken up by 30 commercial breaks..."
-Replacing "top gear" with the name of any show on Dave works equally well.

Even QVC has more spontaneity and entertainment value...

EDIT: Also, the "home of witty banter" is a lie - the correct title is "the home of the witty banter belonging to other stations whose programs you have already seen...repeatedly - and adverts."

Ah, Sas. You never fail to make me laugh. Us yanks don't get the Dave channel, but it looks like it would be nice to have.

Sassafrass:
Oh, you'll love the X-Factor review then.
Promised to be full of dislike and hate for Cowell or your money back!

And just when do we get to love this review?

*eagerness*

Swollen Goat:
Ah, Sas. You never fail to make me laugh. Us yanks don't get the Dave channel, but it looks like it would be nice to have.

Sassafrass:
Oh, you'll love the X-Factor review then.
Promised to be full of dislike and hate for Cowell or your money back!

And just when do we get to love this review?

*eagerness*

Why, thank ye, Oh Swollen Goat of Clutch loving fame.
It is quite a good channel, watching it now. As for the X-Factor review, I shall consult at once with Vee to see if she has an idea of when her re-write shall be finished. To the PMs!

*Insert Batman scene change music here*

 

Reply to Thread

This thread is locked