Freebird Reviews: Chat Roulette

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Before we get started I'd like to say a few thanks. First, thanks to you for reading. Second, thanks to the academy. Third, thanks to The Bloodhound Gang for all the euphamisms.

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Chat Roulette: It's sort of like normal roulette, only with more penises.

Well ladies and gentlemen, there comes a time in every reviewers life where you just have to say, things can only get better. Normally, you're right. Two months ago I reviewed Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg's God-awful piece of "comedy" Disaster Movie. Now, you wouldn't blame me for thinking that that was the bottom of the barrel. No matter how bad something I reviewed was it was never going to be as bad as Disaster Movie. But now I've come to this, Chat Roulette. Could it possibly be worse? Let's see.

Well let's start by getting this out of the way. There is a massive amount of dicks on the site. On a good day, one in fifty people (excluding those without webcams) will have their cock out. On a bad day, one in five. This is easily the site's biggest problem, you know, unless you like fat, hairy men with saggy bollocks. If you do, I suppose I should recommend this site to you. If not, well there's a four step guide to follow.

1) Comment, "It's a bit small isn't it."
2) Click the report button.
4) Move on to another guy playing with his whoopee stick.

Even the people without their lap rockets out are mostly jerks. On this site you will constantly see racists, sexists, hell and all other "ists". In fact, you can basically break down chat roulette into four main groups. The nudes, the jerks, the boring and the weird. I won't talk about the boring people for obvious reasons, so lets move straight on to the weird ones. There will be a lot of people in costumes, wigs or masks which range from crazy to, "What the hell is going on here?" These people will mostly just shout random nonsense at you like jellyfish tacos or really hot red stuff is growing on my house, what should I do? Note that these are both examples that I really did see. While the weirdos aren't exactly ideal, they can be entertaining in a very juvenile way.

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If you don't have a camera, you'll have a lot of trouble starting a conversation. Most people will disconnect from you straight away. Since Chat Roulette has recently became a camera only site, you can no longer start a conversation, period. This means you have to go to Chat Roulette Classic... where people will disconnect with you if you don't have a camera. If you do have a camera, and you're not a pretty girl, they will disconnect from you straight away. This can get extremely frustrating considering that the site is called Chat Roulette, and there is very little chatting involved.

So that's Chat Roulette. Recommendation, stay away like it's the plague or a serial killer or Courtney Love. For the love of god, don't go there. All that's there are a ton of hairy men from 4Chan's cranny axe's. You are almost definitely not going to get a good conversation and it is a complete waste of your time.

But this brings me back to my original question. Is this the worst thing I've ever reviewed, or does Disaster Movie beat it? Well, this may have been the worst period of my life, but at least I could see where it could've went wrong and why it could've been brilliant. Chat Roulette is an amazing idea. The ability to connect to a stranger, to hear their life story, to meet fascinating new people. That is what the internet's all about. And as bad as most of these people are, there are some real jems. I think you all know what's coming. To lift your spirit from the deepest darkest circle of hell, here's Merton.


Merton may be the most awesome person on the internet.

Thanks for reading. As usual, all comments and criticism are more than welcome. If you are interested in checking out Chat Roulette, even after the review, check out the links below. If you do, I just pray to god you make it out alive. Once again, thanks for reading, and good luck.


Chat roulette is pretty hilarious. A couple of my friends showed it to me on Thursday, and we saw some pretty messed up things. As well as got some girls to flash us.

Apparently, my friend's sister's friend saw the Jonas brothers on the site. There was no reply to my question of if they were jerking eachother off

I went on Chat roulette and fucked up. Never again.

Calumon: Men share their snakes online?

I'll be forever scarred by the things I saw on Chat roulette, none of which I want to speak of. This site was a good idea gone horribly wrong.

I like to play Wii Craps on Chat Roulette...while I'm masturbating.

Try http://omegle.com/.

It's like Chatroulette, but with less weirdos and without webcam.

EDIT: Oh, in fact you can enter webcam chat.

http://langdingdang.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/chatroulette02.jpg

I actually met someone who is now a very close friend on Chat Roulette. He talked for 5 hours straight, and continue to talk over MSN each night. What started the conversation is the fact we both lived in Australia.

Pimppeter2:
Chat roulette is pretty hilarious. A couple of my friends showed it to me on Thursday, and we saw some pretty messed up things. As well as got some girls to flash us.

Apparently, my friend's sister's friend saw the Jonas brothers on the site. There was no reply to my question of if they were jerking eachother off

I think they're a GIF or something that they set it as to fool people. Apparently there's a Justin Bieber.

OT: I will never venture to chat roulette. A few too many penises for my tastes.

Pimppeter2:
Chat roulette is pretty hilarious. A couple of my friends showed it to me on Thursday, and we saw some pretty messed up things. As well as got some girls to flash us.

Apparently, my friend's sister's friend saw the Jonas brothers on the site. There was no reply to my question of if they were jerking eachother off

No way did girls flash you.
OT: Had a few small, but good convos. These were heavily outweighed by the sheer amount of wang flying about on that website.

 

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