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Poll: A Stranger reviews :: Progress Wars

Really sorry for the short review, I tried as hard as I could but the feeling of awesomeness I got from this game has rendered my stupified. Also, there's no Google images of the game to flesh this out a bit, I'm very disapointed in the internet!

A Stranger Presents...

Progress Wars

Sometimes as a reviewer you play a game and immediately have a compelling urge to review it, whether that be from its masterful use of suspense, engaging characters or engrossing worlds. Progress Wars is none of these, what Progress Wars is is pure unbridled fun[1] and hilarity that will have you 'rolling on the floor' all day.

Progress Wars is a role-playing game that you can play in your browser, it is absolutely 100% free and it even saves your progress automatically so you don't have to worry if you need to turn it off quickly when your boss comes in. It takes gaming back to its basics and I have to admit that it does it masterfully, when you boot up Progress Wars there are no menus asking if you are sure that you want to play [2], there are no loading screens, along with no multiplayer mode and no gameplay, all things we have come to expect from modern titles such as Pacman but we could, frankly do without. The main premise in Progress Wars is to level up, something that every game nowadays does but again, not as simply as Progress Wars, it is a simple point and click game [3] where the main objective is to completely fill the mission bar. These missions get harder and take longer as you advance but all are equally rewarding.

Progress Wars is one of a wave of such games to come out recently, its notable competitors being mostly Zynga games such as Mafia Wars. But even against such esteemed competition Progress Wars is noticeably the better game and especially so when it comes to graphics. It is obvious that the developer put a lot of effort into making sure that their game looked amazing and it definitely shows.

Overall, I thoroughly recommend this game because of its great reward system, the feeling you get from completing a mission or gaining a level is just intense, it is slightly let down by a distinct lack of gameplay but I think we can let that slide in the face of such outstanding positives like graphics and re-playability.

Try this game out, you won't regret it http://progresswars.com/

I'm level 15, beat that!

[1] for a very select group of people
[2] Seriously in some games there is no need for a menu screen, the only things on it are play and exit
[3] if you take out game.... and point

So it's basically a less fun less streamlined Progress Quest?

Hurr Durr Derp:
So it's basically a less fun less streamlined Progress Quest?

Less fun? This is by far my favourite indie, browser, rpg, orange background, pointless game I've played for ages.

Stranger of Sorts:

Hurr Durr Derp:
So it's basically a less fun less streamlined Progress Quest?

Less fun? This is by far my favourite indie, browser, rpg, orange background, pointless game I've played for ages.

...but does it have Enchanted Motorcycle Hunter Stranglers or Demicanadian Shiv-Knights?

I think not!

Hurr Durr Derp:

Stranger of Sorts:

Hurr Durr Derp:
So it's basically a less fun less streamlined Progress Quest?

Less fun? This is by far my favourite indie, browser, rpg, orange background, pointless game I've played for ages.

...but does it have Enchanted Motorcycle Hunter Stranglers or Demicanadian Shiv-Knights?

I think not!

Oh dear god I have to play this, though it does sound rather too exciting for me, I may get cancer.

It is nice to learn of free stuff, no really.

Why is my vote not going through? Oh well, I care for what ever time wasting...YOU REVIEWED 2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY?!

Now I care a lot. Okay, more reviews please.

Stranger of Sorts:
I'm level 15, beat that!

Seventeen!

Totally beat that.

So, basically, you keep clicking until you develop RSI?

EDIT: Also, at current, I'm at level 34. Beat that

MurderousToaster:
So, basically, you keep clicking until you develop RSI?

Genius, I know.

Magic Hobo:

Stranger of Sorts:
I'm level 15, beat that!

Seventeen!

Totally beat that.

You sir have made a dangerous enemy, you're on!

Hurr Durr Derp:
snip

Wow this game is epic, how long does it take to complete? I'm on the 'deliver this needle' quest, pretty exciting stuff.

Stranger of Sorts:

MurderousToaster:
So, basically, you keep clicking until you develop RSI?

Genius, I know.

Magic Hobo:

Stranger of Sorts:
I'm level 15, beat that!

Seventeen!

Totally beat that.

You sir have made a dangerous enemy, you're on!

First to fifty! GO!

Magic Hobo:

First to fifty! GO!

The grind becomes really noticeable after level 30, I'm not even sure it's possible.

Stranger of Sorts:

Hurr Durr Derp:
snip

Wow this game is epic, how long does it take to complete? I'm on the 'deliver this needle' quest, pretty exciting stuff.

Just like any good MMO you can't really 'complete' the game. Just wait until you get to the endgame content, that shit is off the hook!

Stranger of Sorts:

Magic Hobo:

First to fifty! GO!

The grind becomes really noticeable after level 30, I'm not even sure it's possible.

Pfff, I got to 36 and said fuck it. You're free to get to fifty and I'll bow to you as the master of all that is tedious.

Magic Hobo:

Stranger of Sorts:

Magic Hobo:

First to fifty! GO!

The grind becomes really noticeable after level 30, I'm not even sure it's possible.

Pfff, I got to 36 and said fuck it. You're free to get to fifty and I'll bow to you as the master of all that is tedious.

I stopped at 37 and then I think my hand fell off.

Stranger of Sorts:

Magic Hobo:

Stranger of Sorts:

Magic Hobo:

First to fifty! GO!

The grind becomes really noticeable after level 30, I'm not even sure it's possible.

Pfff, I got to 36 and said fuck it. You're free to get to fifty and I'll bow to you as the master of all that is tedious.

I stopped at 37 and then I think my hand fell off.

Pro Tip: Click once, then hold the enter key. It keeps it going without needing to click.

I just got bored and didn't want to do that when I had Starcraft running in the background.

Magic Hobo:

Stranger of Sorts:

Magic Hobo:

First to fifty! GO!

The grind becomes really noticeable after level 30, I'm not even sure it's possible.

Pfff, I got to 36 and said fuck it. You're free to get to fifty and I'll bow to you as the master of all that is tedious.

Can you bow to me as the master of all that is tedious? I'll give you a

Zoomed in to make it easier.

MurderousToaster:

Can you bow to me as the master of all that is tedious? I'll give you a

Zoomed in to make it easier.

...wow *bows*

MurderousToaster:
Can you bow to me as the master of all that is tedious? I'll give you a

Zoomed in to make it easier.

....Oh holy crap.

My Lord, may I get you some tea while you fill progress bars?

Magic Hobo:

MurderousToaster:
Can you bow to me as the master of all that is tedious? I'll give you a

Zoomed in to make it easier.

....Oh holy crap.

My Lord, may I get you some tea while you fill progress bars?

If I get to one hundred... will you think me strange?

 

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