Into the Orange Reviews: Granite

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A long time ago, in a galaxy location in space far away, everything that ever was and ever will be was confined into an area so small, no living thing could comprehend the tininess of it.
That's right! Everything was trapped inside MaxTheReaper[1]'s heart! And suddenly, for reason still unknown to scientists this day, it exploded and created everything! EVER!
Including this thing:

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Granite!

The Basics

Granite, being an igneous intrusive rock (forming directly from magma and cooling beneath the surface) is the most common rock of its kind. It forms dozens of miles below the surface of the Earth, thus showing that exposed granite has been pushed up or eroded greatly. Its most common coloration is being speckled black, white, gray, and pink, any of the four possibly being the "main" color of the granite. The main minerals that compose this rock are feldspar, quartz, and mica (being present as dark biotite and/or silvery muscovite), and said three are arranged from most common to least in granite.

Types





Uses

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El Capitan, Yosemite National Park
Made entirely of extra-hard granite, enabling it to survive erosion for so long

Granite is most commonly known for its use as kitchen countertops. This durable rock, at one point, was a very large industry due to its desirable looks and strength as building material. Now it is made into tombstones, the aforementioned countertops, curb stones, and some monuments; Mount Rushmore, the "Triumphal" Arch of North Korea, and ancient Egyptian obelisks used for worship (also showing how long granite has been used by mankind) are examples.

Closing

Granite has much to offer and has given just as much to our society, if not more. A durable stone that is also visually appealing is a great combination in any architect's book. It makes the small things of our daily lives better, such as cooking, and the morbid moments more honorable for the deceased. After all, if you had the option between this and this to show where your loved one is resting, is it really a tough choice?

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Granite gets five ornate flower pots out of five

[1] Interestingly enough, his main profile page has been deleted

Hehe. This was an interesting read, Portal!
I love granite too...if only it wasn't so pricey. I'd have lots of stuff made from it! Like a nice desk.
You did forget to mention its potential as a blunt weapon, though. What's with that?
Also, I like that little mention of late maxi XD

Somehow, I didn't see that crack about Max coming, but darn it all, that's pretty funny.
Yet again, a very interesting review from you, really.

Neonbob:
Hehe. This was an interesting read, Portal!

Danke! :D

I love granite too...if only it wasn't so pricey. I'd have lots of stuff made from it! Like a nice desk.

As would I. But I'd rather have things made of obsidian. So awesome, having shiny pure black things.

You did forget to mention its potential as a blunt weapon, though. What's with that?

Because rock breaks easier than steel?

Also, I like that little mention of late maxi XD

Hehehe. It just fit so much better than what I was going to do. And make you irate :P

SharPhoe:
Yet again, a very interesting review from you, really.

Thank you!

And why do you think I call it Into the Orange Reviews?
................
Because they come out of the blue?

Portal Maniac:

Neonbob:
Hehe. This was an interesting read, Portal!

Danke! :D

I love granite too...if only it wasn't so pricey. I'd have lots of stuff made from it! Like a nice desk.

As would I. But I'd rather have things made of obsidian. So awesome, having shiny pure black things.

...point.

You did forget to mention its potential as a blunt weapon, though. What's with that?

Because rock breaks easier than steel?

So? It's still cool to use!
Nothing says you mean business like smacking someone in the shin with a big block of granite. Because they're all like
"Where the fuck did you get that? Why didn't I do what you asked? Why is my bone showing?"

Also, I like that little mention of late maxi XD

Hehehe. It just fit so much better than what I was going to do. And make you irate :P

Now I'm intrigued. What were you going to do?
And how did it make me irate?
*is confused*

Neonbob:

So? It's still cool to use!
Nothing says you mean business like smacking someone in the shin with a big block of granite. Because they're all like
"Where the fuck did you get that? Why didn't I do what you asked? Why is my bone showing?"

Rock in general (with some exceptions) is heavy as FUCK.
Takes muscle that you and I don't have to do REAL damage with it. Or just use a tomahawk, but that isn't just rock now.

Now I'm intrigued. What were you going to do?
And how did it make me irate?
*is confused*

I WAS going to say "as small as Neonbob's sense of humility".
You fill in the rest :P

This makes me love granite even more

 

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