Fable - DOS Gems No.2

Le Nutgrauxph: Okay, you were expecting the 2004/2005/2008 title by Lionhead studios and are only here to yell "WINDOWS XP =/= DOS you tard!" Admit it, you were, right? Well, this is a 1996 point-and-click adventure game in the style of LucasArts & Sierra by Simbiosis Interactive and published by Sir-tech Software. And, in keeping with the genre and the time, it is quite hilarious with a quite disappointing ending. It took me by surprise, as I was expecting something cliche'd to hell and straightfaced about it (must be all the 2d art games my mind has been absorbing recently) but it ended up being lighthearted and actually funny. Expect a fun, but none too strenuous piss-take of the Adventure genre and the high medieval time period and a bleh ending.

Right, all of that out of the way, I can get down to the nitty gritty.
This game plays like a "Baby's First High Fantasy Point-and-Click Adventure." No, it won't break your brain through stupidly tough puzzles. They are quite simple, to the point of simplistic, but on the upside, it doesn't tend to pull too much "click the single pixel" bullshit seen in most other point'n'clickies either. The whole thing is over in about 10 hours, depending on whether the humour wears thin, or whether you listen to every possible snippet.

The pre-rendered graphics are none too shabby for its era either, quite nicely polished and they translate the feelings of each world you head through, the characters are clear and each one is unique, and there are a number of places where the art direction really is quite profound.

The storyline is quite loosely tethered to a central plot point- that there are 4 magic gems that must be acquired, and the writing team seem to have been attempting to pull the game in as many different directions with the central theme being the only connecting feature it seems at some times.

Unfortunately, the only abandonware version I could find had the spoken dialogue in French, so while I am learning the language of oral sex love now, I am unable to judge the how well the voice-acting translates what's in the dialogue boxes.

One final note- I'll say it again- THE ENDING IS SHITE. It is the laziest cut-off, disappointing crap I've seen since Fable 2. Actually, on reflection, that makes a lot of sense. At any rate, expect it. Knowing about Aeris/th dying in FFVII would have made my first playthrough a lot easier to deal with. I'm letting you know now, so you can be equipped for when you choose to play this game thanks to my excellent, informed and reputable consumer advice. (*AUDIBLE COUGH AND PERSON CHOKING ON A MOUTHFUL OF ABSINTHE UP THE BACK)

Oh wells. To a person who's recently almost been reduced to tears at work after playing Every Day The Same Dream, physically brought to tears at midnight a few days ago after playing One Chance and disgusted at his own humanity by playing through I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, it was quite a nice, funny snippet of electronic experience from yesteryear.

For the layman who's never played an Adventure game in their life, and can't choose between the LucasArts Empire or the Sierra Republic, this game may well be a good place to start. For gamers jaded by shitty one-dimensional characters in shitty default-shaded FPS games who have forgotten about or not lived through the period when games had a sense of humour, I would also wholeheartedly recommend this title.

P.S. This review was about a month late due to several factors. It started with sex. Then it was Dwarf Fortress. Then it was KFC. Then it was a google search of MollieIndustria. And now here it is. I hope you enjoyed this presentation of crap.
Next Review will be... Hmm. I dunno. I'll find something though. Maybe Wolf or something out of left field. Anyhoo, I bid ye Adieu.

Wow a real blast from the past. I was 10 when I played this.

Good review. It sticks to all the fundementals Ive been reading about. Also Thanks for leading me to MolleIndustria. Here I thought I might get something done today.

My apostrophe and question mark keys do not work - Topdawn


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