Decent review, making sure to hit both the good and bad points. It could use a bit better formatting, but all in all a good review.
Thank you for your input, always happy to receive more!
Just so you know, it is often good to cut out the irrelevant sections of a post you're quoting. Helps to make what you're referencing more clear.
If you didn't know, that's what people mean by *snip* - "I cut some stuff out here". It's basically an ellipsis with more typing involved. ...which brings to question why we do it like that...
To make it clear that you're quoting a specific part of a post that relates to your responce, as opposed to a post as a whole, I would assume.
Just so you know, it is often good to cut out the irrelevant sections of a post you're quoting. Helps to make what you're referencing more clear.
If you didn't know, that's what people mean by *snip* - "I cut some stuff out here". It's basically an ellipsis with more typing involved. ...which brings to question why we do it like that...
To make it clear that you're quoting a specific part of a post that relates to your responce, as opposed to a post as a whole, I would assume.
*Nods* Also, if you are responding to the whole post you can do two things - if the exact wording of the post is relevant, you can spoiler it. For example:
How you spoiler something: [*spoiler*=whatever you want to be shown on the spoiler tag[1]*] Whatever you're spoilering[*/spoiler*] Just remove the *'s from what I have above and you've got it!
Also, it's generally good form to spoiler images and video. There are exceptions, but it's a good general rule.
EDIT: Well we got off topic.
[1] for example, in the above spoiler tag I used "Postey post" because it didn't matter. You can put whatever you want in there, or nothing at all.
Ihniwid: I don't know if this is supposed to be meta-clever or meta-cynical.
Come to think of it, I don't really care either way.
Also: if you're actually an English student and working on your use of language, I'd review proper paragraph use, comma use and dependent clauses.
And the use of cliches.
And... ugh forget it.
He said he was student. He never said he was a good student.
On topic. I find Bob repellent. I find some of what he covers interesting, but I find him personally, or his reviewer persona, to be the embodiment of hypocritical nerd-rage.
Nothing emphasizes that point more than his tweets and commentary calling all the Retake Mass Effect people entitled whiners for wanting things changed to not be a lazy-half made ending that even Bioware themselves admit was rushed cause it was done by one guy over the weekend while ignoring all the other writers input... then turning around and bitching about Michael Bay for not doing Transformers and Ninja Turtles right. To add to it, apparently when he dons his Game Overthinker cap his opinion on the Mass Effect debacle changes rather dramatically.
Really, there comes a point when one realizes they're being trolled. Bob, usually, is just trolling because trolling gets views.
lacktheknack: Your next challenge: Rewrite the review without the word "whine". I've never seen a multi-sentence critique of Bob that hasn't used the word.
Also, if you're doing a review project, read Marter's $2.50 Reviews and TAKE NOTES.
dyre: Sorry, but your review is a mess. You just have random criticisms with very little structure or flow.
I really don't like Big Picture, and Escape to the Movies is okay at best, but writing a "review" on a person (read: a personal attack) is pretty rude.
If you don't mind my asking, in what ways could I improve the flow?
Well, your second paragraph of the review (the big one) is mostly a bunch of vaguely related criticisms of Bob's work, often just using a single example, which isn't really worth much to describe a trend or a policy. Instead, come up with a main criticism (it can be more broad than the ones you're using now) and use multiple examples to back it up.
Also, I noticed are that the majority of your criticisms are related to his latest review, which indicates that you're just upset (or, as the internet would say: butthurt) about "The Raid" review. Use a larger range of examples.
It's been ages since I've done one of these. Anyone who's been around the forums since '08 will probably remember me for this, although it's been a long time since I've done it.
Either way, most of the highlights will be handled in the editor's notes after the quote, but quoting is going to be for corrections.
Spoiler box for size, click for edited original post.<blockquote><p><a href='/forums/jump/326.363961.14239949'><strong>Devoneaux:</strong><br /></a>Hi, <strong>I</strong>'m Devon, and this is my <strong>r</strong>eview on Bob "MovieBob" Chipman, <strong>m</strong>ovie <strong>c</strong>ritic and <strong>g</strong>eneral <strong>s</strong>ocial <strong>c</strong>ommentator<strong>.</strong> <s>(Or whatever aptly describes his work in "The Big Picture")</s> I am doing a project for my English class on writing reviews<strong>,</strong> and thought <strong>I</strong>'d get some practice in by writing a review for good ol' Bob! <strong>(Preface is largely unnecessary, in terms of review content, but I suppose can set the tone. If anything, keep this short, and keep the asides to a minimum if not entirely removed. Also, unless there's a proper noun in play, avoid capital letters.)</strong></p>
<p>  About a year an a half ago, Bob "MovieBob" Chipman began production of "The Big Picture<strong>,</strong>" a show where he <strong>was</strong> given free reign to basically discuss whatever he wishes. In the first <strong>e</strong>pisode, Bob <strong>gave(?)</strong> a brief rundown of how Halo seemingly has the subtext of pro<strong>-</strong>militarism and, to a lesser degree, Fascism. And while this point can be argued even still today, the opinion given in that episode and others like it are often focused on <s>seeing in</s> <strong>reading</strong> between the lines and giving a fresh point of view on the topic as a whole, with a dry, somewhat sterile sense of humor to boot. <strong>(Line break.)</strong></p>
<p>What's more, while somewhat resistant to it, <strong>t</strong>he show does occasionally allow the fan base to influence what is discussed, giving weight to the idea that it's "A show of the people!" If you're feeling dramatic. <strong>(This feels really bizarre here. The idea is introduced, and left hanging. Either cut it entirely, or expand on it to become another point. Simply appearing here in this short form makes it seem like an undeveloped aside.)</strong></p>
<p><s>Now</s> <strong>W</strong>hile this is all well and good, Bob himself does have his hiccups<strong>. Especially</strong> when discussing heavy subjects in particular. His dislike of certain groups or individuals can <s>occasionally</s> tip over into ridicul<strong>. T</strong>his is most evident in episodes of "Escape to the Movies<strong>,</strong>" <s>a movie review show of all things,</s> in reviews such as The Expendables<strong>. W</strong>here he t<strong>ook</strong> a few <s>seconds to slide a few</s> cheap shots towards certain social groups, and this may be off<strong>-</strong>putting to some. <strong>(The highly conversational tone tends to undermine the flow of the piece. It's especially apparent in the asides, which interrupt the flow of the piece every other sentence. When you take those away, given that they're more discussion-oriented rather than part of a review, then you're left with half-finished points. More on this later. Line break.)</strong></p>
<p>Th<strong>ese</strong> <s>is also points to his</s> issues with keeping his shows separate entities <strong>becomes detrimental</strong> at times<strong>.</strong> <s>which is much to his detriment.</s> A perfect example of this is his internet review of "The Raid." <s>Now,</s> <strong>T</strong>he review lasts about 4 minutes and forty seconds, but only 3 minutes and twenty seconds <strong>(Too specific for the average reader. Round these out to "Five minutes of episode, only three of which are about the Raid.")</strong> is actually used to review the movie. <s>What did he put the rest to?</s> He put it to complain about a completely unrelated movie and how it relates to his miserable high school life, something he <s>is</s> consistent<strong>ly</strong> <s>in</s> bring<strong>s</strong> up<strong>. W</strong>hich <strong>get tiring.</strong> <s>yes, gets about as tiring as it sounds.</s> <s>Let me remind you, this was a review for a movie, and it starts off with "Oh i'm sorry, were you expecting a review for "American Reunion"?" Frankly bob, no I wasn't, I was expecting a review on "The Raid".</s> <strong>(This is all tangental aside, especially where it addresses the creator of the content you're reviewing, not the reader. Bad habit.)</strong> <s>Then</s> <strong>H</strong>e spends around a minute and a half explaining why he hates the whole franchise and somehow managed to work his miserable teenage years into it. <strong>(Line break. Also an aside. I left it in because it leads to a future point, although it should be re-written for ease of flow and content. More on that later.)</strong></p>
<p>This also shows a glaring inconsistency of opinion in Bob, where in his <strong>f</strong>an mail episode of The Big Picture, he let his audience know that high school ultimately doesn't matter, so they just need to tough it out<strong>.</strong> <s>But really,</s> <strong>I</strong>f that's the case, then why is he so quick to constantly bring up and whine about events that happened more than a decade ago? <s>To me,</s> <strong>T</strong>his comes off as almost childish, <strong>as if</strong> he is so determined to remember the past, just so he can whine about it[/b].[/b] <s>and it most</s> <strong>It</strong> certainly isn't appropriate to shoehorn <strong>it</strong> into a movie review. He seems to forget that he has an entire show for this kind of thing. <strong>(No conclusion.)</strong></p>
<p>Pros: <br />Insightful <strong>(Not listed anywhere in the review prior to here.)</strong><br />Dry, but clever sense of humor <strong>(Needs developing.)</strong><br />Acknowledges the fan base (Doesn't see them necessarily as just a number) <strong>(Again, unmentioned save for a short aside. Develop this.)</strong></p>
<p>Cons: <br />Hyperbolic tendencies<br />Inconsistency of opinion <br />Angst filled</p>
<p><strong>(Just a quick note, while checklisted pros and cons are technically fine, I always preferred to work them into the conclusive paragraph. That's a style thing, so take it as you may, although I find the best reviews are formatted as reviews, with little else detracting from the words themselves.)</strong></p>
<p>At the end of the day, Bob Chipman is a smart fellow with many opinions worth sharing, but has several issues along the lines of professionalism and <strong>without</strong> leaving all his baggage away from the work place.</p></blockquote>
The largest thing this review could benefit from is a bit of editorial oversight and structuring. The pros and cons checklist at the end told me you had a solid line of reasoning, and wanted to flesh the points out, but the review does very little to communicate the same line of thought as your checklist.
The issue stems largely from content. Most specifically, the lack thereof. Most of the points are stated but left undeveloped. Generally, the biggest issues are meant to be addressed directly. Examples such as the American Reunion preface are great for this. Once the issue is brought into the fore, it's up to the reviewer to explain how this is an issue, and what effects it could have on the overall appeal. You do address this in terms of an overall issue you have with MovieBob, but don't really develop this idea in terms of the content crosswiring between The Big Picture and Escape to the Movies; nor do you address how it affects the time constraints on the film being reviewed, simply that it does. The point of a review is to inform the reader of flaws that could detract from their experience, but not to criticize them.
Which is the problem with the asides. Though perfectly suited for a conversation, the asides actually bias a large part of your review. Each implies a flaw, but doesn't take the time to inform the reader about other problems they could be having. The complaints stem largely from the asides built into the first episode of the Big Picture and the Escape to the Movies review of The Raid. These do reasonably well at citing the issues for these two episodes, and pad out the review, but don't actually address several other factors readers could want to learn about Bob and his features. You hit on his soapbox tendencies and social separation from the average film-going audience.
The points you don't touch on are his content largely appearing from or pertaining to geek culture, with a particular emphasis on comics, superheroes, and gamer culture. Nor does it address his preference for foreign films, darker comedy, or his historical preference for indie or obscure cinematography. There are a lot of facets of Bob's reviews that aren't addressed, which easily could in the review. As a reader, it would help me best make an informed decision on how much Bob content I want to consume. (Note that this point is more for things readers would have to either invest toward or pay for, it's still a large part of reviews.)
Those main points aside, practicing outlining and structure should clear up most of the things plaguing this review. There's enough forethought here, given the checklist at the end, but the formatting and colloquial tone are the two biggest speed bumps. My recommendations would be to give the Elements of Style a read, and also SimuLord's Review Advice thread, as well as the one from Scotth266.
Beyond that, practice is the best way to get better. If you have any questions, or want to question my methods, or just yell at me for being smug and superior enough to actually do this, feel free to send me a PM or come hunt me down on the IRC. I'm usually around, and I like talking about writing and reviewing as a craft.
leet_x1337: Did you miss the fact that he takes the 'gamers are entitled crybabies' stance on Retake Mass Effect? Or does that go under hyperbolic tendencies?
While I'm decidedly neutral on the subject (I think additional cinematics in free DLC is a good compromise rather than leaving it or scrapping that ending all together) the "retake mass effect" people are arguably just as hyperbolic. If not more so.
I'll say this much: if you don't tell people what you think about the guys doing the features on a site like this, nothing is going to change. Saying you don't like someone, or have problems with how they do their feature can lead to adjustments, or even the person involved being replaced.
To be honest there has been a rising tide against MovieBob recently, and a lot of criticism that has lead to clashes between Bob's "fanboys" and his critics. I saw that this was going to happen almost a year or so ago, when I noticed Bob getting a bit too out of control with his political commentary and suggested that he was being unprofessional and should be reined in and made to focus specifically on the topics of geek culture that the site revolves around without him trying to project his own personal politics and angst into almost everything, and frequently being judgemental of products for no other reason than it lets him parade a political point of view which might not even have any genuine connection to what he's talking about.
Speaking for myself, I doubt the feeling is mutual, but I kind of like Bob, and I especially like Bob when he's showing off his wisdom of geek culture without standing on a political soap box. An understandable point I suppose because like him I enjoy all things geek, but I am on the opposite side of the political spectrum on well... pretty much everything.
I recognized that Bob is so far out there politically that even people who disagree with me and are left wing, were going to start to get annoyed, even if it was going to be gradual, and well the cracks are beginning to get pretty big.
Rather than attacking Bob, I think a better move is to make points so they can be heard by the people who pay Bob, who can more or less get Bob to stay focused and "on topic" which he has shown he can do in the past. I don't think his opinions need to be censored per se, but when as much of one of his videos is about how much he hated high school or about a differant movie not even mentioned in the feature's current title, as it is about the actual topic, that's going too far. As is taking a movie like "Tower Heist" as an excuse to start making accusations about Hollywood "white washing" which had little or nothing to do with whether the movie was good or not and why (though he did convey that as well to be fair).
Just my thoughts on the subject, I respect anyone who knows more than I do about the world of the geek, and want to see Bob keep his features, but at the same time I myself do not want to hear some of his unrelated rants. Slowly but surely it seems people are agreeing with me here, and some earlier predictions are coming to pass. All I can say is to say your piece without turning it into "Flame-Bob-apalooza", keep it polite and constructive, and see what happens.
After seeing his "Worst Person" video he can go fuck himself.
He seriously tried to say all first person games were bad, while not playing most of them. That and he said Halo was Nazi propaganda, which was just a shitty straw man for his anti first person argument.
Oh and he said Other M was better than Metroid Prime, he even went as far to say that Other M wasn't sexist.
He seriously tried to say all first person games were bad, while not playing most of them. That and he said Halo was Nazi propaganda, which was just a shitty straw man for his anti first person argument.
No he made a joke about how the Halo ads showed the "Improved" humans were white and gained blue eyes when they changed, then followed it by saying that it was a joke.
Ofc, how DARE anyone form a contrary opinion on the internet, doesn't he know that everyone must agree or they are basically KILLING freedom of speech and letting SOPA win or something.
Danial: No he made a joke about how the Halo ads showed the "Improved" humans were white and gained blue eyes when they changed, then followed it by saying that it was a joke.
Ofc, how DARE anyone form a contrary opinion on the internet, doesn't he know that everyone must agree or they are basically KILLING freedom of speech and letting SOPA win or something.
Ah the old "it was just a joke" cop out.
When did I bring up Soda or free speech? Oh wait I didn't. Look if you don't like my opinion fine, but don't try to paint me as a raving lunatic simply because you disagree.
Danial: No he made a joke about how the Halo ads showed the "Improved" humans were white and gained blue eyes when they changed, then followed it by saying that it was a joke.
Ofc, how DARE anyone form a contrary opinion on the internet, doesn't he know that everyone must agree or they are basically KILLING freedom of speech and letting SOPA win or something.
Ah the old "it was just a joke" cop out.
When did I bring up Soda or free speech? Oh wait I didn't. Look if you don't like my opinion fine, but don't try to paint me as a raving lunatic simply because you disagree.
The First part was aimed at you, the second for the OP, But if you watched that Episode and honestly believed he was making a Nazi connection to Halo, then I fear i have no need to paint you as one I'm afraid. The word has all but been done for me.
To make it clear that you're quoting a specific part of a post that relates to your responce, as opposed to a post as a whole, I would assume.