2012 Billboard Top 100: #30-26

Brace yourselves. Shit about to become bad.

#30: "Too Close" by Alex Clare

I know nothing about this guy, other than this song, which I have heard parts of before.

Music starts off not bad, with a nice piano line, and an interesting drum beat. During the chorus...he goes with dubstep, and it still somehow ends up not terrible. Alex Clare is not a bad singer, either.

The lyrics are basically him breaking up with a girl, saying that he is "too close" to love her.

This is a song that, while not terrible, isn't really all that good. The dubstep actually works surprisingly well here, but it is still unnecessary. The singing is pretty much the definition of "trying too hard", though, considering the lyrics. I mean, he sings his heart out, wailing...about how he is just too close to love her. Which, as Todd in the Shadows pointed out, is up there with "We should see other people" and "It's not you, it's me" with generic break-up lines. Interesting ideas, but they just don't work well here.

#29: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO

Re-review!

Beat is basic dance stuff. Blaring synth line, but still somehow catchy. As for the singing, it isn't all that good, but what do you expect out of LMFAO?

The lyrics are about as generic as the average dance song. Basically, it is exactly what it says, an anthem for party rocking.

This song has not grown on me in the last year. It was mildly amusing when I heard it last year. Now, it is just get annoying. I predicted during my review of 2011 that it would be the next Macarena. It ended up being far more than that, for one reason. Los Del Rio were a one-hit wonder, while LMFAO actually managed another hit, so they were more successful in that regard. How is this as a song? The singing is pretty crap, the music is danceable, and the lyrics are generic at best. In other words, it is the new Macarena. Oh, and they sample Rick Ross, which is an...odd choice of artists to sample. To describe why...it would be like a rapper deciding to sample a hair metal band, and settling on Nelson.

#28: "Boyfriend" by Justin Bieber

Repeat artist. Justin Bieber had hits this year. Plural.

What is with the minimalist beat? It is basically clapping, some kind of whistling, and drums, until just before the chorus when the guitar kicks in, then vanishes during the chorus. Justin Bieber still can't sing, but at least shows range by showing how much he can't rap, either.

As for the lyrics, this song is sadly not Justin Bieber showing a bisexual side. Instead, it is a generic love song about how he would never let her go if he was her boyfriend.

This song is pretty bad. The beat is very odd at best, and generic at worst. Bieber's lack of singing ability is only eclipsed by his lack of rapping skills, and the lyrics are generic love fluff. I can see how this sort of song is popular with teen girls, but how was it a bonafide top 40 hit?

#27: "Mercy" by Kanye West, Big Sean, Pusha T and 2 Chainz

One rapper I don't recognize, two terrible rappers, and a rapper who is decent in his own stuff, but ruins other songs in guest verses.

Well, that is an annoying intro. The rest of the music isn't much better, with a quiet piano line. Oh god, this song...The rapping is all pretty bad. I'm not going to figure out who did what, because all of them suck here.

The lyrics are basically random lines bragging about how rich the involved rappers are. Oh, and calling Ms. Pacman a "pill-popping ho", which I will admit is a bit funny.

This song is terrible. None of the rappers do a good job. Whoever is doing the random Madea style shouting in the background needs to shut up. But worst of all is the lyrics. I've heard bragging songs. But I've never heard a rap song go on for 5 minutes without singing about anything other than what they can afford and how they can act with their money. Fuck this song. Worst of all, my younger brother likes this song. I don't know why. I'd say he has bad taste in music, but his favorite band is Black Sabbath.

#26: "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars

Well, he may very well be the best part of this set.

Music is what you expect from Bruno Mars. Slow piano, not much else. As for the singing, it is again what you expect from him. Wailing, fairly high pitched voice.

As for the lyrics, he is basically singing about how he can't lose his girlfriend, because life would suck without her. I mean, it will rain.

This is the best song on the list, but not because it is actually good. It is generic Bruno Mars in everything. I don't mind artists who enjoy their niche, but come on, Bruno! Sing about something other than a freaking girl for once. And no, "The Lazy Song" does not count. Your other song has to actually be a good song. But then, that may be asking too much. Just...try something new that isn't just cashing in on a trend.

That list sucked. Next!

Previously: #35-31

Next: #25-21

You skipped #27 and #26 there.

Well, that was brief...

Don't headdesk too hard, one of those next songs is number one on ToddInTheShadows' Top Ten Hits Of 2012, and I gotta say that I agree very fully. You're in for a real treat.

Fun fact: Justin Bieber totally trolled parents in the leadup to the Boyfriend music video. The teasers had Justin being groped by a dozen hands, lots of intimate ear-whispering, and other stuff that parents don't like. The video itself has a leadup to this style of video for the first verse... then it abruptly restarts and plays a kid-friendly video instead. The ultimate reverse-bait-and-switch.

That was very brief indeed.. and nothing really worth saying anything about.. its a bad 3 right there.. and the next 5 isnt gaining hope either shame!

Sorry, 27 and 26 ended up in the spoiler. Fixing now. And trust me, 27 is the worst of the 5.

lacktheknack:
Well, that was brief...

Don't headdesk too hard, one of those next songs is number one on ToddInTheShadows' Top Ten Hits Of 2012, and I gotta say that I agree very fully. You're in for a real treat.

Is that "Everybody Talks"? If so, that is the only song in the ten (this list and next) that I'm actually looking forward to.

Edit: Just watched his top 10. Drake and Rihanna actually had a good song? That must be what the Mayans predicted as the apocalypse.

Haha... blergh... the other 2 werent any better! :D And yea sometimes Todd i think has some stupid ideas of good music.. i cant agree with all his choices!

Powereaver:
Haha... blergh... the other 2 werent any better! :D And yea sometimes Todd i think has some stupid ideas of good music.. i cant agree with all his choices!

I can see where he was coming from on most of his picks, but "Everybody Talks" should have been on there, Flo Rida should not have been, and "Somebody That You Used To Know" should have been higher. In my opinion, of course.

First time I've really disagreed with you. Most of the list is shit as usual, but I do like Too Close. I think the wub wub really works and makes the song much more memorable. Plus it has a really god-damn cool drum pattern.
Whole song gets really repetitive toward the end but ehh you can't have everything.

someonehairy-ish:
First time I've really disagreed with you. Most of the list is shit as usual, but I do like Too Close. I think the wub wub really works and makes the song much more memorable. Plus it has a really god-damn cool drum pattern.
Whole song gets really repetitive toward the end but ehh you can't have everything.

I did say it had some neat ideas. I just felt the dubstep didn't really work, because it was only in the chorus, with the verses being more of a traditional sound, and the lyrics and singing just weren't all that good to me. I shouldn't have said it was bad, but I felt it was a bit of a letdown, because it glanced over its unique ideas for a message that was as generic as it gets.

#30: "Too Close" by Alex Clare:
Well nothing really to add to what was said.

#29: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO:
This is prettymcuh an alright chorus, performed horribly and drowned in terrible everything else. And I'm prettysure Psy has claimed any title of the "new Macarena"

#28: "Boyfriend" by Justin Bieber:
It's boring and irrelevant. I mean, I may be in the minority, but I actually don't care about Bieber, he's generic popstar #1928273, there's worse out there that're both more successful and for some gods unknown reason, deemed influential on music.

#27: "Mercy" by Kanye West, Big Sean, Pusha T and 2 Chainz:
Yeah, it has 2 Chainz and Big Sean in it to start with, this was doomed from whatever unholy place it was conceived in.

#26: "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars:
This seemed alright, for all of being a poor mans Otis Redding or Marvin Gaye. Then that obnoxious buzzing noise jumped into the mix and tore it apart. I'm kind of confused as to why they'd add that, is that what kids think vinyl hiss sounds like and were trying to make it sound old?

"Mercy" pretty much confirms that you should not be ashamed to write anything you want, because if that... thing... exists, and is popular, than what you wrote is probably better. "Fuck this song", is I think the best way to go there.

Seth Carter:

#28: "Boyfriend" by Justin Bieber:
It's boring and irrelevant. I mean, I may be in the minority, but I actually don't care about Bieber, he's generic popstar #1928273, there's worse out there that're both more successful and for some gods unknown reason, deemed influential on music.

I agree with you there, actually. I personally think One Direction is far worse than Bieber.

thebobmaster:
Sorry, 27 and 26 ended up in the spoiler. Fixing now. And trust me, 27 is the worst of the 5.

lacktheknack:
Well, that was brief...

Don't headdesk too hard, one of those next songs is number one on ToddInTheShadows' Top Ten Hits Of 2012, and I gotta say that I agree very fully. You're in for a real treat.

Is that "Everybody Talks"? If so, that is the only song in the ten (this list and next) that I'm actually looking forward to.

Edit: Just watched his top 10. Drake and Rihanna actually had a good song? That must be what the Mayans predicted as the apocalypse.

Dude, "Take Care" was all of the awesome. How'd you miss it?

When I heard it last January, I said "Song of the bloody year." Lo and behold, I was right, no other song even approached the emotional resonance and adoration I had for it, except maybe "Some Nights".

Haha knew you would hate Mercy. Big Sean is a joke, Push sold out, 2 Chainz is one of the cheesiest cats ever and Ye fell off for me a long time ago...

 

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